is there a polite way to eat a subway sandwich?

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It's a meatball marinara one, with everything , but i am at work in a relatively conservative office at my desk making munchie noises, spilling it everywhere licking my hands, basically really really enjoying it, only to the disgust of my co-workers, damn open plan offices....

― battlingspacemonkey (battlingspacemonkey), Monday, 27 June 2005 11:20 (twenty years ago)

cut it into smaller pieces i think, then insert those calmly and quietly into your mouth like it was finger food.

― sexless, Monday, 27 June 2005 11:24 (twenty years ago)

Take it to the toilet and eat it there. You'll be out of sight, and the noises you make will be in keeping with the surrounds.

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 27 June 2005 11:25 (twenty years ago)

http://www.grainmills.com.au/images/5meatgrinder.jpg

i. insert subway sandwich into top aperture
ii. insert side aperture into mouth
iii. turn handle

― mark s (mark s), Monday, 27 June 2005 11:26 (twenty years ago)

i think you should liquify it then you can drink it discretely through a thin straw.

― sexless, Monday, 27 June 2005 11:30 (twenty years ago)

now i want to go to subway

― sexless, Monday, 27 June 2005 11:31 (twenty years ago)

dont they make 8 inchers, 6 inches not quite enougha and twelve is too much,

this is great i have got marinara sauce EVERYWHERE

absolutely

EVERYWHERE

mark i like you ingenious subway mincing machine idea,

the idea of cutiing a sub up though like finger food doenst work cause it still goes everywhere....

― battlingspacemonkey (battlingspacemonkey), Monday, 27 June 2005 11:33 (twenty years ago)

EVERYWHERE,

i loook like a four year old who got holda the sauce bottle at home ...

― battlingspacemonkey (battlingspacemonkey), Monday, 27 June 2005 11:34 (twenty years ago)

ask them to Toast it for you. It's a lot easier to eat.

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Monday, 27 June 2005 11:35 (twenty years ago)

if you wear a tie you can attach it to that via the attchament at the base and walk around the office as you eat w.observance of etiquette undiminished!!

― mark s (mark s), Monday, 27 June 2005 11:35 (twenty years ago)

beatiful idea mark, that image will stay with me all afternoon,

as for toasting subways i dont think subways here in la angleterre have cottoned on to that yet, they just bake'em and fill'em and you pay for 'em and **** off. no smiles at our subway!

i'm nearly done eating it, can't believe i actually managed to eat nearly all of this.... yeah i'm a champion.

people are looking at me in disgust, probably want to enter me into that show ladette to lady and send me off to a finishing school...

― battlingspacemonkey (battlingspacemonkey), Monday, 27 June 2005 11:41 (twenty years ago)

didnt you get it on the keyboard while typing and eating? my boss would never allow me to eat as elaborate and juicy a sandwich as yours at my desk.

― sexless, Monday, 27 June 2005 11:43 (twenty years ago)

no one cares

yeah i got sticky red finger prints all over my keyboard, we had this fight at work, 30 min lunches are just enough time to get to town ,stand in a queue for an era and then purchse your lunches, get back and its been 35 mins, so yeah, were all eating at our desks, bah dar dar dar i'm eatin' it.

― battlingspacemonkey (battlingspacemonkey), Monday, 27 June 2005 11:54 (twenty years ago)

They asked me if I wanted my meatball sub toasted in Exeter last week. I declined. The flimsy nature of Subway bread is key to their enjoyment.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Monday, 27 June 2005 12:11 (twenty years ago)

exactly, and it's fast food in the sense your eating the next mouthfull as you chew your last lest it fall to pieces on the floor.

― battlingspacemonkey (battlingspacemonkey), Monday, 27 June 2005 12:16 (twenty years ago)

Subway toast their subs now?
I'm totally going to enjoy that when I get back to the UK.
While I'm here in the US I prefer the superior Quiznos. They're so much nicer, and have this cool toasting conveyor belt mechanism thingy.

― Magnakai (Magnakai), Monday, 27 June 2005 15:14 (twenty years ago)

I prefer Quiznose.

― I'm bad and dirty and going to hell (nordicskilla), Monday, 27 June 2005 15:15 (twenty years ago)

I DON'T GET THIS CRAZE OF TOASTED SUBS. ALL THE GREEK SUB JOINTS IN WORCESTER HAVE BEEN TOASTING THEIR SUBS FOR 20 YEARS.

― Lupton Pitman (Chris V), Monday, 27 June 2005 15:16 (twenty years ago)

Surely the only need to toast a sandwich is if it has cheese in it?

Upper Crust have been toasting their sandwiches since year dot, meaning that they become so hot as to be uneatable until another two stations down.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 27 June 2005 15:17 (twenty years ago)

But you pay dearly for that toasting mechanism. And, I guess, superior ingredients. Sometimes you just need a $4 sandwich, you know?

That said, the turkey guac at Quizno's is a thing of beauty.

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Monday, 27 June 2005 15:18 (twenty years ago)

amen to that!

― I'm bad and dirty and going to hell (nordicskilla), Monday, 27 June 2005 15:18 (twenty years ago)

Also they gave me a free sandwich for being a fake student! Good for them!

― I'm bad and dirty and going to hell (nordicskilla), Monday, 27 June 2005 15:19 (twenty years ago)

back on topic: Cut the thing into three pieces. Put them on the floor. Drop a pencil. Go under desk to fetch pencil. Stuff one of three sections into your mouth. Wipe. Sit up straight. Repeat.

― geyser muffler and a quarter (Dave225), Monday, 27 June 2005 15:25 (twenty years ago)

Fuck a Subway, and fuck THIS GUY:

http://www.fcps.net/news/stu/images/jared-subway.jpg

Their bread tastes like cardboard anyway.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Monday, 27 June 2005 15:28 (twenty years ago)

as fast as you can, with the fewest bites and chews.

― peepee (peepee), Monday, 27 June 2005 15:35 (twenty years ago)

don't ever order the tuna sandwich at quizno's. that's all i'm sayin'.

― monsanto and yanni (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 27 June 2005 18:40 (twenty years ago)

Oh, or the philly "cheesesteak." Comes with some kind of gooey cream sauce instead of cheese. It's quite nasty.

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Monday, 27 June 2005 18:41 (twenty years ago)

The polite way to eat a Subway sandwich is with no pants on, duh.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 27 June 2005 18:42 (twenty years ago)

Also:
http://www.penn-station.com/images/templogo_05.gif

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 27 June 2005 18:43 (twenty years ago)

The notion of "Penn Station" and "Good Taste" having anything to do with each other makes my brain strain to free itself from my skull.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 27 June 2005 18:46 (twenty years ago)

there's a sub shop in my neighborhood called daggwood's (sic) that makes many different variations on the blt. last week i ordered the "b.r.b.c.l.t." -- pepper bacon, rare roast beef, cheddar cheese, lettuce, and tomato, on sourdough. it was most num.

haha alex otm

― monsanto and yanni (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 27 June 2005 18:49 (twenty years ago)

and which penn station are they referencing anyway?

― monsanto and yanni (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 27 June 2005 18:49 (twenty years ago)

eat it off a stripper's ass.

or her stomach, if you're that squemish.

― kingfish (Kingfish), Monday, 27 June 2005 18:51 (twenty years ago)

^^^ it's true, in some eating situations you have to go for it. If I pick a good watermelon, after one bite I'll stop, be like oh yeah, fuck this, take my shirt off and bring it out to the balcony, same with huge burgers. There's always that post-bukkake feeling afterwards though, I usually wash up. In public it's not at crazy but I twitch and murmur to myself alot as I speed to get the shit down - I think toasted subs are harder because at high velocity eating the sharpness cuts the shit out of your mouth, making it so much easier for the next meal to give you AIDS.

― LeCoq (LeCoq), Monday, 27 June 2005 18:52 (twenty years ago)

i miss my d'angelos classic veggie with pickles.
and pickles for that matter.
uk food sucks

― dahlin (dahlin), Monday, 27 June 2005 18:53 (twenty years ago)

Why don't you just shit on your desk and jerk off into the file cabinet?

― Another Allnighter (sexyDancer), Monday, 27 June 2005 18:55 (twenty years ago)

Lovingly caress the frenum with your tongue.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 27 June 2005 18:56 (twenty years ago)

Remember, for every one person visibly disgusted, there are nine who suffer without display.

― Another Allnighter (sexyDancer), Monday, 27 June 2005 18:58 (twenty years ago)

Subway's Special NSFW Sandwich

― Another Allnighter (sexyDancer), Monday, 27 June 2005 19:07 (twenty years ago)

i used to get a tuna sub from quiznos once a week! cheap!

― oops (Oops), Monday, 27 June 2005 19:12 (twenty years ago)

never had the meatball, but love the luncheon meat samiches there. do not ever get any of the "chicken" samiches though, the chicken is like dry foam.

― AaronK (AaronK), Monday, 27 June 2005 19:13 (twenty years ago)

i used to get a tuna sub from quiznos once a week! cheap!

it's all mayo! fishy, oily mayo!

― monsanto and yanni (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 27 June 2005 19:55 (twenty years ago)

A: it's all mayo! fishy, oily mayo!
Q: How is a tuna sub from Quizno's like a haggard prostitute?

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 27 June 2005 19:59 (twenty years ago)

mmmm yeah

um xpost?

― oops (Oops), Monday, 27 June 2005 19:59 (twenty years ago)

http://photos1.blogger.com/img/270/1146/1024/mayo%20sandwich.jpg

― Another Allnighter (sexyDancer), Monday, 27 June 2005 20:01 (twenty years ago)

"dont they make 8 inchers, 6 inches not quite enougha and twelve is too much"

Jimmy John's! 8-inches of bliss! I'm not sure where there are Jimmy John's outside the midwest, but they are far superior to Subway, Quiznos, Cousins, or any other sub sandwich chain or franchise or whatever, as far as I'm concerned.

― kirsten (kirsten), Monday, 27 June 2005 20:23 (twenty years ago)

Jimmy John's! 8-inches of bliss!

Okay, my frenum post was a joke.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 27 June 2005 20:28 (twenty years ago)

JIMMY JOHNS SUCKS!!!!!!!!!

we just got one here in college park maryland, and boy that place is terrible. and i thought i hated subway....

― JD from CDepot, Monday, 27 June 2005 20:30 (twenty years ago)

I don't get why anyone would put "everything" on a meatball hero. I mean, meatballs + sauce + optional mozzarella, and you're golden. I also kinda have a hard time understanding why anyone would order a meatball sub from Subway and not a proper Italian deli, but I'm willing to assume that it wasn't an option.

― Matthew C Perpetua (inca), Monday, 27 June 2005 20:33 (twenty years ago)

i worked at jj's in college and yet still agree that they are better. delivered a sandwich to jimmy himself: he's a weirdo.
since they don't have dif lengths, the only way you can get more is to ask for double meat which isn't always give me enough calories to suffice. i'd make my own though and put every kind of meat we had on that fucker.

― oops (Oops), Monday, 27 June 2005 20:33 (twenty years ago)

Is no one going to give a shout-out to Blimpie, the original shitty sub chain?

I don't know, folks. If you've got a deli near you, why not go there instead? The quality of the meats and cheeses will almost always be higher.

― Matthew C Perpetua (inca), Monday, 27 June 2005 20:35 (twenty years ago)

because we don't have a deli near us duh!

― oops (Oops), Monday, 27 June 2005 20:37 (twenty years ago)

Actually, the weird thing about the JJ's here is that, according to a coworker of mine who used to deliver for them, the owner is in it just to establish a solid COCAINE RING, and he requires his delivery drivers to help him out with that. So, in theory, if I did coke, I could call and ask for a veggie sub and a [I don't know anything about cocaine so I don't even have an amount to put here) of coke, and I would get it.
But yeah. If you've had a bad experience with JJ's sandwiches, you just have a bad JJ. Because they're so, soooo good.

― kirsten (kirsten), Monday, 27 June 2005 20:38 (twenty years ago)

The only deli within walking distance of my house is vegetarian.

― kirsten (kirsten), Monday, 27 June 2005 20:39 (twenty years ago)

I heard things about him and coke too, but I doubt JJ's is a all a front. He inherited money, and JJ's was the way he chose to get even more.

― oops (Oops), Monday, 27 June 2005 20:40 (twenty years ago)

Oh, really? I thought it was just a guy who owned one of the JJ's in Milwaukee who was doing it. I didn't realize it was possibly franchise-wide.

― kirsten (kirsten), Monday, 27 June 2005 20:41 (twenty years ago)

well i meant that JJ is/was ALLEGEDLY a huge cokehead, not that the franchise is a front. though it could be! all the higher ups, regional managers and whatnot were talky assholes.

― oops (Oops), Monday, 27 June 2005 20:44 (twenty years ago)

I'm always vaguely confused by the lack of delis in other places cos there's a billion of them in the Hudson Valley, Long Island, New Jersey, Connecticut, and NYC and that's where I've spent 99% of my life.

― Matthew C Perpetua (inca), Monday, 27 June 2005 20:47 (twenty years ago)

Not counting full-on restaurants, five of the six places to eat within walking distance of my childhood home are delis or include delis.

― Matthew C Perpetua (inca), Monday, 27 June 2005 20:48 (twenty years ago)

Are you vaguely confused by the lack of Jews elsewhere? :P

― oops (Oops), Monday, 27 June 2005 20:48 (twenty years ago)

What's confusing about that? I mean, I'd imagine Long Island doesn't have a lot of German restaurants, or beer gardens, or breweries or sausage places, compared to the place where I live. And even if it does, it's only because there are so many more people.
two x-posts

― kirsten (kirsten), Monday, 27 June 2005 20:50 (twenty years ago)

Well, I'm more used to Italian delis, but sure, when I was little I was surprised to learn that Jews and Catholics weren't as common as they seemed to me throughout the entire country.

― Matthew C Perpetua (inca), Monday, 27 June 2005 20:57 (twenty years ago)

mmm... hot pastrami.

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Monday, 27 June 2005 20:58 (twenty years ago)

Well, the ubiquitousness of idependently owned delis in this area kinda led me to believe that it wasn't very different from convenience stores, gas stations, and hair salons.

― Matthew C Perpetua (inca), Monday, 27 June 2005 20:59 (twenty years ago)

there are german delis too.

― monsanto and yanni (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 27 June 2005 21:00 (twenty years ago)

mmm... hot pastrami.

Yes indeed.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 27 June 2005 21:03 (twenty years ago)

hold the sandwich with a tissue, cut the top off with a knife and suck out the insides.

― rainy (rainy), Monday, 27 June 2005 21:04 (twenty years ago)

Well, I'm sure there are plenty of Italian and Jewish, and, sure, German delis here (in fact, I know there are) but I live in an area of the city that is heavily inhabited by students, and the only food I can get within reasonable walking distance of my house is Mexican, Thai, Italian (not deli), Russian (deli), vegan, East African, Spanish, Chinese, Japanese, Indian, Greek, fair-trade, soul food and good ol' American fried egg sandwiches.

― kirsten (kirsten), Monday, 27 June 2005 21:04 (twenty years ago)

and actually, what's wrong with just going into the deli section of the supermarket, buying a quarter-pound of your favorite cold cut and a fresh roll, and making your own sandwich? i've done this lots of times.

― monsanto and yanni (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 27 June 2005 21:05 (twenty years ago)

Nothing wrong with that.

― kirsten (kirsten), Monday, 27 June 2005 21:08 (twenty years ago)

Actually, there is a really great Jewish deli right down the street from my work, but they stopped making their wonderful olive cream cheese, which I used to get on salt bagels when I needed a sodium fix. I haven't been there since.

― kirsten (kirsten), Monday, 27 June 2005 21:10 (twenty years ago)

sometimes it feels good to have an immigrant spread mustard for you

― Another Allnighter (sexyDancer), Monday, 27 June 2005 21:10 (twenty years ago)

I miss the SF Deli in Redding and all the lovely pastrami therein, but I'm kind of glad I haven't been near it to be tempted. I'd probably be 300 lbs. or in the ICU by now.

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Monday, 27 June 2005 21:11 (twenty years ago)

Now I really, really want olive cream cheese and pastrami on a salt bagel, with mustard. Way to go.

― kirsten (kirsten), Monday, 27 June 2005 21:14 (twenty years ago)

whoah.

― Another Allnighter (sexyDancer), Monday, 27 June 2005 21:15 (twenty years ago)

You still eating your sandwich, battlingspacemonkey?

― dog latin (dog latin), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 07:01 (twenty years ago)

Please tell me marinara sauce is something else in the US, because I am horrified at the idea of meatballs mixed with a tomato seafood sauce - which is what proper marinara sauce is.

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 07:26 (twenty years ago)

Don't worry Trayce, it's just tomato sauce.

― dog latin (dog latin), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 07:27 (twenty years ago)

yes this is subway!! i really doubt that "proper" is an issue in respect of ANY of the ingredients

(and i say this is the world's oldest and most militant anti-rockist!)

― mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 07:29 (twenty years ago)

Whys it called marinara then?? Marina = sea! Weird. heh.

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 07:30 (twenty years ago)

it should be pronounced: "Marina. Rah! ;-)"

― mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 07:32 (twenty years ago)

Subway - eat Ned?

er, wait.

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 07:34 (twenty years ago)

marinara is just the generic term for a meatless tomato sauce. "alla marinara" means "sailor style".

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 07:38 (twenty years ago)

It isnt used here though (nor among any italian I've ever met), not in that sense - marinara specifically means sauce with seafood in it.

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 07:50 (twenty years ago)

FITE

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 07:53 (twenty years ago)

Italian pasta sauces are named after the profession that typically ate them. Thus pasta boscaiola was typically eaten by woodsman, whilst pasta putanesca was the sauce of choice for prostitutes.

Pasta marinara is "sailor's pasta". Actually, it's meant to be the sauce they made in Naples for when the sailor's came back from long voyages, and so it was a bit special. The ingredients are basic (it's cucina povera), but the idea was that the ladies of the town would toil over this sauce for hours.

A basic recipe would be olive oil, some garlic, basil leaves, sauce tomatoes, and a bit of oregano. You put capers or anchovies in it, itsimply isn't marinara.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 09:38 (twenty years ago)

the great subway caper

― mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 28 June 2005 09:40 (twenty years ago)

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