Mocked by Technology

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Our answering machine is set up so that I can call home, enter a code, and check my messages. There's a recorded robot voice that announces whether you have any messages or not. When it says "YOU HAVE...NO MESSAGES" the tone of voice is kind of sad, but in a subtly snarky way, like "Of course you don't have any messages, how pathetic." When it says "YOU HAVE...ONE MESSAGE," the tone of voice is like "Oh really, one message? Impressive." When it says "YOU HAVE...TWO MESSAGES," or more, the tone goes up on the number, like it's surprised you have that many messages. Is my answering machine making fun of me? Does technology ever mock you?

― n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 1 July 2005 13:20 (twenty years ago)

No because my PC gets a good smacking every now and again, just to show it who's boss

― Ste (Fuzzy), Friday, 1 July 2005 13:25 (twenty years ago)

Alarm clocks hate me. (or maybe it's the other way round, possible, but that's not what it feels like every morning)

― StanM (StanM), Friday, 1 July 2005 13:45 (twenty years ago)

My microwave says "enjoy your meal".

What? WHAT DO YOU KNOW THAT I DONT?!?!

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 1 July 2005 13:48 (twenty years ago)

My computer has pop up boxes that tell me i'm always doing something wrong when all i did was click on the X to exit something stupid like "acess denied due to 2437490hdjfklfl" like i know wtf that means...

or "youy have a 0988787y error occuring please contact your administartor for help.." i dont have an administrator...i am the administartor.....

― battlingspacemonkey (battlingspacemonkey), Friday, 1 July 2005 13:57 (twenty years ago)

So... I hear you're performing illegal operations... Care to explain or do I have to alert General Protectionerror and his troops?

― StanM (StanM), Friday, 1 July 2005 14:05 (twenty years ago)

"To avoid seeing this screen again, please make sure you shut down your computer properly by selecting shut down in the Start menu.."

OMG WTF!? IT WAS YOUR FAULT THE 'COMPUTER' DIDN'T 'SHUT DOWN PROPERLY' IN THE FIRST PLACE.

― Ste (Fuzzy), Friday, 1 July 2005 14:12 (twenty years ago)

Not necessarily mocking, but my voicemail insists on telling me the time, date and number of people who have called, which lasts about 2 minutes before it actually just plays the fucking message. It also emails me to tell me I have a message, telling me all the details in the email that it will spend several minutes explaining to me when I dial in.

― tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Friday, 1 July 2005 14:15 (twenty years ago)

When you exit The Oracle multi-storey car park in Reading, a little computerised message flashes up which says "Drive Safely!".

I'm oddly resentful of being told how to drive by a machine, and am always gripped with the desire to drive out of Reading like a fucking maniac, just out of spite.

― C J (C J), Friday, 1 July 2005 14:18 (twenty years ago)

My phone headset at work makes a sarcastic irritating "booop" noise in my ear whenever someone phones through. My reflexive action is to shout "FUCK OFF! I'M WRITING SHIT ON THE INTERNET!"

― dog latin (dog latin), Friday, 1 July 2005 15:10 (twenty years ago)

"POXY FULE" message to thread.

― n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 1 July 2005 15:21 (twenty years ago)

t minus five mintues to self destruct

― Another Allnighter (sexyDancer), Friday, 1 July 2005 15:25 (twenty years ago)

My fridge is on the fritz and every time it clicks on it's like, "click, hummm, ladeda, ooh, it's hot, I'm tired, think I'll take a breather now. Sorry dairy and meat products! hahaha. wrrrrr... click." Fucker.

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Friday, 1 July 2005 16:15 (twenty years ago)

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