Am I being stalked or scammed?

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This morning I got a text from a number I didn't recognise. It said this:

"Gunaydin yakisikli dun aksam ugramadin. Seni cok ozledim senin o sicak yarragini ozledim benim kucuk sisman azgin ayim. Hadi optum kendine iyi bak NURTEN.xx"

Which I don't understand. So I just assumed it was a wrong number. And, for curiosity's sake, I tried to find out what it meant. This took a bit of doing, since I didn't even know what language it was at first (I guessed turkish, which turned out to be right), but eventually I managed to get somebody to translate for me. And apparently it means this:

"Good morning, handsome guy, i have been missing you. i have missed your hot penis my little fat teddy bear. Kisses, take care of
yourself, nurten"

Gulp. So at this point the text-scam alarm bells started ringing. But I looked up the stem of the mobile number it came from (it's 07957), and it doesn't appear to be a premium rate number or anything, it just looks like a normal line. So I figured it was just a wrong number after all. And I replied, just saying "er, thankyou, but I think you've got the wrong number".

Then I got this back:

"Senin ismin erkan degilmi kusura bakma ama i'm working that's why I'm txting. I got your number from a mate. And I promised her I can't tell. When she told me how good you was in bed I thought to myself if I send him a simple text then he wouldn't reply back. Well I just couldn't kep my mind off you and your knob i'm sorry if I'm being too open minded. And straight forward. Well take care. Looking forward to hear from you. XX. And I'll understand if you don't text back. Well, look after youself xx"

I've not got a translation for the first few words of that yet. But, um...yeah, wtf? Does this look familiar to anyone, do these things happen often? It definitely can't be true, none of my exes would have passed my number on like that, but then what the hell's going on? I'm confused.

― JimD (JimD), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 14:08 (twenty years ago)

First off, are you a little fat teddy bear with a hot penis?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 14:11 (twenty years ago)

NO ONE NIGHTERS THAT SPRING TO MIND?

― battlingspacemonkey (battlingspacemonkey), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 14:12 (twenty years ago)

secondly has she actually used your name? does she actually know you?

― battlingspacemonkey (battlingspacemonkey), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 14:12 (twenty years ago)

Might not be a she.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 14:14 (twenty years ago)

That's Turkish, right?

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 14:15 (twenty years ago)

http://i20.ebayimg.com/03/i/03/08/91/a1_1_b.JPG

is this you?

― battlingspacemonkey (battlingspacemonkey), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 14:15 (twenty years ago)

Should be KB'd for the foul grammar alone.

― suzy (suzy), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 14:16 (twenty years ago)

I know the Turkish for 'piss off' (phonetically), if thats any help. I also know Urdu for 'mad sister fucker' but that's another story.

― Raston Warrior Robot (alix), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 14:16 (twenty years ago)

cic de git

or thereabuts.

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 14:19 (twenty years ago)

Erm...well:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v462/bdgamer/2005%20March/Bo%20Selecta%20Bear%20DS/thumbs/th12808076.jpg
http://photos1.flickr.com/3096483_ede6a242fb_m.jpg

It would be surprising but not entirely unbelievable if somebody were to refer to me as a little fat teddy bear with a hot penis.

But yeah, (s)he hasn't used my name at all yet, good point. Maybe I should push for that.

― JimD (JimD), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 14:21 (twenty years ago)

Well I just couldn't keep my mind off you and your knob

This is indeed fantastic writing

― Ste (Fuzzy), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 14:21 (twenty years ago)

What does NURTEN mean? It was in uppercase so I'm thinking it's rather rude.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 14:22 (twenty years ago)

I'd hit it.

― Taste the Blood of Scrovula (noodle vague), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 14:22 (twenty years ago)

Isn't Nurten just a name? Hmm, I should check whether it's a boy name or a girl name...

― JimD (JimD), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 14:24 (twenty years ago)

get someone to pose as your wife and call the number. give the mystery perv an earful!

― lauren (laurenp), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 14:25 (twenty years ago)

OTMyeah

― battlingspacemonkey (battlingspacemonkey), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 14:27 (twenty years ago)

awesome thread. don't forget to keep us up do date with this.

― g-kit (g-kit), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 14:27 (twenty years ago)

and shout 'sik deer ol', with emphasis on the 'ol' at the end of the conversation.

― Raston Warrior Robot (alix), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 14:27 (twenty years ago)

HAHAHA nice one Lauren!

― suzy (suzy), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 14:28 (twenty years ago)

"mystery perv" i had one of those when i was at uni, some guy called my mobile phone at around 4am each night for about a week and m4st3rbated over the phone, untill i went to the police, it really freaked me out cause he never really said anything just grunted, heavy breathing, *noises* (the kind you make when you were a kid by pulling your cheeks in and out rapidly) the police were laughing at me while i tried to explain, bet it was the fat copper now,.....

― battlingspacemonkey (battlingspacemonkey), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 14:36 (twenty years ago)

Some Nurtens:

http://images.google.co.uk/images?q=nurten&hl=en&lr=&sa=N&tab=wi

I've sent another reply, which says "Are you sure you know me? What's my name?". Course, this might just scare them off and spoil the fun, but hey.

You actin' kinda shady, ain't callin' me baby, better say my name

― JimD (JimD), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 14:40 (twenty years ago)

i should note that we've used valuable charity worker time in translating it...

my coworker was blushing SO BAD when i asked her to translate. and yeah, i think that's a lady's name.

i find this so funny. this has been the highlight of my day so far

― colette (a2lette), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 14:41 (twenty years ago)

http://images.google.co.uk/images?q=tbn:aHtCPwfO0t8J:www.istanbul.edu.tr/yuksekokullar/floren/images/NurtenEsas.jpg

Hi i'm nurten so hot for you right now.....

― battlingspacemonkey (battlingspacemonkey), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 14:42 (twenty years ago)

oh yeah, i had someone call me when i lived in a dorm (hence no caller ID) and i thought it was my friend drew, talked to him as if it were him for like a half hour before i relised it wasn't. then spent half an hour trying to figure out if it was a wrong number or someone i knew playing a joke on me. he called like every night for a few weeks, but i wouldn't talk to him after that.

it probably was drew, come to think of it, he's such a jerk.

― colette (a2lette), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 14:42 (twenty years ago)

I had a mystery perv as well! At one of my old jobs someone kept leaving these really sexually graphic short stories and poems in my mailbox. It didn't creep me out or frighten me, but it was really bugging me wondering who it could be. It was a huge university library and so there were lots of people who worked there so it could have been almost anyone.

― Leon C. (Ex Leon), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 14:44 (twenty years ago)

did he say nothing for ages just grunt and then announce that he wanted to j1zz on your t1ts? if so could be same guy?

― battlingspacemonkey (battlingspacemonkey), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 14:44 (twenty years ago)

http://images.google.co.uk/images?q=tbn:gQBqYbadITYJ:www.nefariousmag.com/Images/Contributors/mystery_man.gif

Mystery perv

― battlingspacemonkey (battlingspacemonkey), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 14:45 (twenty years ago)

Hey Leon did you keep your explicit love notes?

― battlingspacemonkey (battlingspacemonkey), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 14:46 (twenty years ago)

does your mobile have a built-in camera? Take a picture of your bare feet, and send that to them.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 14:46 (twenty years ago)

HAHAHAHAHA OMG PASH

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 14:47 (twenty years ago)

(seriously I'll lay money that this will turn out to be phishing/419 scamming in the end)

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 14:47 (twenty years ago)

Nurten # 2 is pretty cute.

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 15:00 (twenty years ago)

I've sent another reply, which says "Are you sure you know me? What's my name?".

Of course you do realise you should have said "what's my name BITCH" don't you?!

― PinXorchiXoR (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 15:01 (twenty years ago)

yeah but i'm pretty sure it wouldn't be nurten 2 anywho
xpost

― battlingspacemonkey (battlingspacemonkey), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 15:02 (twenty years ago)

Waaaah! Got a text back, this one says:

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you. Anyway, you're erkan who has a cafe down ilford. I'm free now if you wanna chat call me x"

Trouble is, I was in the bathroom when that one came though, and between the text arriving and me coming out of the shower, I also had TWO MISSED CALLS from her!

― JimD (JimD), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 16:07 (twenty years ago)

erkan sounds like a hot prospect.

― lauren (laurenp), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 16:11 (twenty years ago)

I said "you didn't scare me (*), you just confused me. My name's Jim and I've never been to ilford".

And then got:

"Sorry mate I think I have got the wrong number. These messages meant to be for someone else. Sorry mate"

(*) Which was a LIE.

― JimD (JimD), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 16:12 (twenty years ago)

So, you know, OH MY GOD! They weren't a scam or a hoax or anything, some people just REALLY do things like this!

― JimD (JimD), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 16:13 (twenty years ago)

from fat little teddy bear to mate. so sad.

― lauren (laurenp), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 16:15 (twenty years ago)

I'm both disappointed and relieved.

― JimD (JimD), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 16:17 (twenty years ago)

Say, "Well, I AM a fat little teddy bear and I HAVE a hot penis, so let's get together."

― Stoner Guy, Tuesday, 5 July 2005 16:17 (twenty years ago)

this person would call a friend of mine at eight in the morning every morning for about two weeks, leaving threatening messages referring to "_ _ _ _ _ from Cornell, you're dead." I guess the 'Cornell' was the emphasize that this anonymous caller knew the person. She was pretty freaked out, understandably, so I asked this friend of mine who worked at a firm that specialized in corporate investigations to see if he could get info on the number that showed up on the caller ID. As it turned out, it was a pay phone in North Hollywood, near this intersection. So her boyfriend and I went out before work and "staked out" the phone, and told her to call us when this person rang her up.

We didn't think the person would in fact call, but then these two people showed up at the pay phone, a girl standing next to a guy, and they made a call. Soon, my friend called us and said, "He's leaving a message right now, same number." Rather than confront them, we took photos of the two, wrote down the license, and the next day showed her the photos. She looked at them and recognized the girl as this person she worked with who was a little "off", apparently.

She took our photos and presented an extremely compelling argument based on phone records and such and the girl was immediately fired. I guess she'd had her boyfriend make the calls. The reason was something to do with office politics. Fortunately, there was no gun-blazing return a week later, which was something we worried a little about.

It was sort of fun!

― Gear! (Ill Cajun Gunsmith) (Gear!), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 16:25 (twenty years ago)

http://people.ee.ethz.ch/~andress/nei.ch/albums/famousfatboy/erkan.jpg

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 16:29 (twenty years ago)

I'm going to refer to

http://www.outlar.com/images/artists/ErolAlkan1.jpg

as Erkan from now on too.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 16:30 (twenty years ago)

I'm so tempted to go down Ilford right now and look for a café owner who looks like a fat little teddy bear, and really take the piss out of him.

― C J (C J), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 16:35 (twenty years ago)

Say, "Well, I AM a fat little teddy bear and I HAVE a hot penis, so let's get together."

OTM!!!!!!

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 16:36 (twenty years ago)

A few years ago I got a text message from an unknown number that said: "Hi, is this Tuomas 4lh0? We met at the wedding last weekend, it was great talking with you, but I didn't ask your phone number.". I replied to the person that my name was indeed Tuomas 4lh0, but I hadn't been to a wedding the previous weekend, so she'd probably got the wrong Tuomas 2lh0's phone number. I thought that was the end of it, but she replied: "Oh, I'm sorry. How old are you, by the way, and what do you do?". How pathetic is that, I thought, trying to flirt with someone through text messages just because I had the same name as some other guy she'd met! Well, maybe I was pathetic too, but I answered her, telling my age and that I was a student. Later on I got an answer, which began like this: "You push inside me and I moan...". At this point I was almost scared, thinking that she was some sort of stalker, but then I read the rest of the message, and it was some sort of double-barreled joke about locks and keys. I didn't answer this message, and she never texted me again. That must've been the weirdest, weakest pick-up attempt I've ever witnessed.

A few years later I got a call from an unknown number, some guy asked me: "Are you Tuomas 4lh0?". "Yes", I replied. "Are you a plumber?" "Er, no." "Oh sorry, wrong number." After that I've wondered whether there are two Tuomas 4lh0's walking these bleak streets, or whether Tuomas Alh0 the plumber is the same guy my text message suitor met at the wedding. I guess I'll never know.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 17:48 (twenty years ago)

I think he's a locksmith.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 17:53 (twenty years ago)

Maybe he got her message, and made a bolt for the door.

― C J (C J), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 17:59 (twenty years ago)

At first I thought the conversation had gone like this...

MAN: "Are you Tuomas 4lh0?".
TUOMAS: "Yes. Are you a plumber?"
MAN: "Er, no."
TUOMAS: "Oh sorry, wrong number."

...which I thought was a great way to deal with an unwanted phone call!

― Gear! (Ill Cajun Gunsmith) (Gear!), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 18:04 (twenty years ago)

Hahaha!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 18:06 (twenty years ago)

Say, "Well, I AM a fat little teddy bear and I HAVE a hot penis, so let's get together."

OTM!!!!!!

Aw jeez, I'm probably drunk enough to do this now too.

― JimD (JimD), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 23:12 (twenty years ago)

Maybe he got her message, and made a bolt for the door.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!! CUZ HE CAN DO THAT!!! MAKE BOLTS, I MEAN!!!!!!!! DOUBLE-BARRELLED JOKE TIME!!!!

Serious.

― giboyeux (skowly), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 23:17 (twenty years ago)

LOCK THREAD!

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 23:50 (twenty years ago)

Of course you do realise you should have said "what's my name BITCH" don't you?!

What I was going to suggest. Damn.

― Ian Riese-Moraine has been xeroxed into a conduit! (Eastern Mantra), Tuesday, 5 July 2005 23:57 (twenty years ago)

Gear your friends psycho workmate story is freaky! Who DOES that to someone? Had she had problems with the psychostalker workmate or was she just unhinged and picking on some random work colleage? That sort of thing would creep me out for a long time.

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 6 July 2005 03:08 (twenty years ago)

Also, I'm reminded of the time someone rang me one day and, mistakenly thinking it was a guy I knew and liked, I went along with the guy rambling on about being horny and saying lots of dirty stuff, having a naughty giggle to myself.

At the end of the er, "story", I thought to ask "do I know you btw?" for some reason. And the guy said "nope! Just a random morning glory call! Have a nice day" and hung up!

W T F.

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 6 July 2005 03:10 (twenty years ago)

"who are you and how did you get in here?!?"
"i'm a locksmith and... i'm a locksmith."

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 6 July 2005 04:02 (twenty years ago)

Flashmob, cafe, ilford, wearing these

http://www.partypants.fsnet.co.uk/female/fd-teddybear.jpg

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Wednesday, 6 July 2005 11:32 (twenty years ago)

i wonder if jeremy p!ven gets this freaked out when i phone him

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Wednesday, 6 July 2005 11:53 (twenty years ago)

i don't like how this ended.
i want the director's cut.

― g-kit (g-kit), Wednesday, 6 July 2005 12:11 (twenty years ago)

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