If you have one last thing to say...

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So, let's say you have an ex with whom you haven't had any sort of meaningful, honest interaction in eons, but there are still those unsettled niggling issues, and you both know it though act polite in person... Let's say that you have one last thing to say to them, even if it is *about* them that you feel they need to hear... But, let's say that engaging with them after so long is not neccesarily a step forward for your own progress in dealing with the break... Let's say you're me: should you just do it, knowing that there is no meaningful relationship of any kind forthcoming regardless, or continue to keep quiet, not knowing if they-think-you-think etc. and let it eat away at you in the form of insomnia?

If you have one last thing to say, should you say it?

― scout (scout), Thursday, 7 July 2005 07:38 (twenty years ago)

ps. I am not delusional enough to think anything I say is for the purpose of the other party, I know it is getting it off my chest for my own sake, not being helpful or anything.

― scout (scout), Thursday, 7 July 2005 07:41 (twenty years ago)

Probably. But not to them.

― MIS Information (kate), Thursday, 7 July 2005 07:41 (twenty years ago)

You know, it just doesn't do anything to say it to someone else... they already know he's full of shit.

― scout (scout), Thursday, 7 July 2005 07:43 (twenty years ago)

Write it in a letter and don't send it. Write it in a song and hope someday he will hear it. I don't know. I've found that "saying that last thing, and trying to get that resolution" doesn't actually work, it just raises more questions than it answers.

But then again, my situation might have been different. I don't ever interact with my ex, ever. Which is part of the problem.

― MIS Information (kate), Thursday, 7 July 2005 07:44 (twenty years ago)

Write it all down in a letter. Be brutally honest. Then don't send the letter, just burn it ceremoniously.

― C J (C J), Thursday, 7 July 2005 07:45 (twenty years ago)

If you really think you need to say it to feel better, I guess you should. My instinct would be to think I was bigger than that and just walk away.

― Taste the Blood of Scrovula (noodle vague), Thursday, 7 July 2005 07:45 (twenty years ago)

X-post CJ is wise.

― MIS Information (kate), Thursday, 7 July 2005 07:46 (twenty years ago)

I've found that "saying that last thing, and trying to get that resolution" doesn't actually work, it just raises more questions than it answers.

OTM

― tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Thursday, 7 July 2005 08:24 (twenty years ago)

good advice, peeps, all of it. but then I think, if I'm not bigger than it by now, will I ever be if I just let it marinate? Did the letter thing, THAT I will let marinate.

― scout (scout), Thursday, 7 July 2005 08:41 (twenty years ago)

Write a letter, then leave it to soak in olive oil, paprika, salt, pepper and tarragon for 24 hours.

Oh, xpost.

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 7 July 2005 08:45 (twenty years ago)

well, I did repeatedly say "marinate"...

― scout (scout), Thursday, 7 July 2005 08:46 (twenty years ago)

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