things not to say when breaking up with someone

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i didnt know it was that bad a thing to say, but saying that i didnt see a future with my ex has meant that he no longer wants to speak to me. i mean, i thought that was self explantory, but apparently, saying it out loud is not the thing to do because up until that point, our post-break up friendship was going quite nicely.

― victoria, Saturday, 9 July 2005 09:53 (twenty years ago)

Give him some time. It's hard to hear someone say that. It's not a bad thing to be honest, but it hurts to hear it.

― tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Saturday, 9 July 2005 09:56 (twenty years ago)

It's possibly because he thought your post-break up friendship was actually him giving you some time until you decided you wanted to get back together again. You making it clear that isn't the case could well mean that he's only just been hit with the idea that you really have broken up. I've done this before.

― JimD (JimD), Saturday, 9 July 2005 11:51 (twenty years ago)

yeah that's pretty common. um, i mean, not that it's ever happened to me. yeah.

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Saturday, 9 July 2005 13:13 (twenty years ago)

He probably felt you were adding insult to injury. I had someone say to me "I'm not going to sleep with you any more". And I was thinking, how arrogant--what makes you think I would want to?!!! Maybe he had a similar reaction to your comment and got pissed off.

― Orbit (Orbit), Saturday, 9 July 2005 19:04 (twenty years ago)

So often, the people doing the breaking up think that the relationship is going to be the same, only without the sex. Get real.

― HukL, Saturday, 9 July 2005 19:08 (twenty years ago)

things not to say when breaking up with someone: its not me, its you.

― sunny successor (i dont get dirty with the bodies once i kill 'em) (katharine), Saturday, 9 July 2005 19:20 (twenty years ago)

"It's not me, it's you"

― scout (scout), Saturday, 9 July 2005 19:20 (twenty years ago)

facking xpost

― scout (scout), Saturday, 9 July 2005 19:20 (twenty years ago)

"You're just not as pretty as the new girl I want to date."

― Cunga (Cunga), Saturday, 9 July 2005 19:24 (twenty years ago)

So often, the people doing the breaking up think that the relationship is going to be the same, only without the sex. Get real.

OTM. I'd amend this slightly though: "..the same, only without [being obliged to carry the burden of thinking about/being nice to the other person]. Get real."

― rogermexico (rogermexico), Saturday, 9 July 2005 19:30 (twenty years ago)

b-b-but isn't "it's not YOU it's ME" the cliche? the other way round is surely more brutal but somehow better, because it allows me to say well FUCK OFF

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Saturday, 9 July 2005 19:46 (twenty years ago)

both are silly, though

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Saturday, 9 July 2005 20:17 (twenty years ago)

"can you reimburse me for the therapy and meds?"

― hstencil (hstencil), Saturday, 9 July 2005 20:20 (twenty years ago)

"so, you can have Oscar every other weekend plus two weeks in the summer"

― Banana Nutrament (ghostface), Saturday, 9 July 2005 20:24 (twenty years ago)

Amateurist, of course they're silly, that's what the thread is about!

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Saturday, 9 July 2005 20:25 (twenty years ago)

"I feel like I had to kick you in the balls to get your attention."

Ugh. What's more, it was patently false. I had seriously taken the time to get to know her, her friends, her likes, dislikes, quirks, etc, etc, etc. God, it still makes my blood boil.

― Tantrum The Cat (Tantrum The Cat), Saturday, 9 July 2005 20:25 (twenty years ago)

i think almost anything someone says to you as they're breaking up with you is liable to haunt and nag, although i suppose they could take pains not to rub you where it hurts.

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Saturday, 9 July 2005 20:27 (twenty years ago)

i suppose they could take pains not to rub you where it hurts

She certainly fucking did not.

― Tantrum The Cat (Tantrum The Cat), Saturday, 9 July 2005 20:45 (twenty years ago)

"Are you gonna go cry now?"

But I imagine "yeah, I pretended to like you from the start, but I really can't do it anymore" would burn as well.

― Candicissima (candicissima), Saturday, 9 July 2005 20:52 (twenty years ago)

"being with you has made me realize how much I miss my old girlfriend... we're getting back together"

― luna (luna.c), Sunday, 10 July 2005 02:28 (twenty years ago)

"it's not you, it's your AIDS"

― cousin larry bundgee (bundgee), Sunday, 10 July 2005 02:29 (twenty years ago)

"your smell does not agree with me."

― Ô¿Ô (eman), Sunday, 10 July 2005 02:40 (twenty years ago)

how about, saying anything sort of reasonable or vaguely mollifying, but doing it after at least ten days of absolute zero returned contact of any kind.

― g e o f f (gcannon), Sunday, 10 July 2005 03:10 (twenty years ago)

works like a charm

― g e o f f (gcannon), Sunday, 10 July 2005 03:11 (twenty years ago)

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