Today's retarded video game: "Jaws Unleashed"

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This is what happens when you don't think your shark actioner will sell, so you get a license and change the name:

http://www.majescoentertainment.com/catalog/works/jaws.php

-Players take control of Jaws the Great White Shark with themes and locations from the original JAWS universe.
-More than 10 meticulously detailed, destructible environments, each with unique themes and intense action.
-Unleash real-time damage on intelligent enemies, vehicles and structures.
-Perform a variety of stunning underwater, surface and air attacks via a user friendly combat system.
-Dismemberment engine provides multiple points of disconnection allowing for game characters and objects to be torn apart piece by piece.
-Follow story based missions or choose to freely roam the island and its surroundings causing havoc.
-Encounter multiple side missions/challenges including timed destruction, stealth, chase and others.
-Face fearsome arena bosses including killer whales, powerful boats and more.
-See your victims before they know you’re coming and target lock on enemies from afar with Shark Vision.
-Created by Appaloosa Interactive, developer of the award-winning Ecco the Dolphin series.
Learn more about Jaws Unleashed here: http://www.Jawsthegame.com/

note: EVERY GAME MUST NOW BE LIKE GTA, REGARDLESS OF GENRE.

― kingfish (Kingfish), Monday, 11 July 2005 04:39 (twenty years ago)

http://www.majescoentertainment.com/images/screen/jaws/big/screen4.jpg

― kingfish (Kingfish), Monday, 11 July 2005 04:40 (twenty years ago)

Good sir, I do question your belief that a console game is indeed retarded. For it is not a living being, therefore no chance of retardation is possible.

― Esteban P. Buttez Esq., Monday, 11 July 2005 04:42 (twenty years ago)

a game about sharks that has arena bosses & missions is retarded.

Fookin' retarded.

― kingfish (Kingfish), Monday, 11 July 2005 04:43 (twenty years ago)

The original Nintendo Jaws game was teh tits.

― Hurting (Hurting), Monday, 11 July 2005 04:44 (twenty years ago)

ihttp://www.videogameconnection.com/images/NESjawsbox.jpg

RAAAWWR!!!

― Hurting (Hurting), Monday, 11 July 2005 04:45 (twenty years ago)

I understand that you do feel strongly about your opinion, but I must insist that as "data" stored upon a "disc", it cannot be retarded.

― Esteban P. Buttez Esq., Monday, 11 July 2005 04:45 (twenty years ago)

http://www.digitpress.com/dpsightz/nintendo/jaws.gif

― Hurting (Hurting), Monday, 11 July 2005 04:46 (twenty years ago)

note that you can't eat robert shaw in this game, so fuck it

― kingfish (Kingfish), Monday, 11 July 2005 05:14 (twenty years ago)

Hahaha Nick was talking about this the other day - it really does look crap. "Shark Vision"! Ahaha! Oh man.

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 11 July 2005 05:51 (twenty years ago)

Original title: Sole Predator

this may or may not be a pun.

― kingfish (Kingfish), Monday, 11 July 2005 05:52 (twenty years ago)

Bbbbbut sharks have crappy vision!

― no tech! (ex machina), Monday, 11 July 2005 05:57 (twenty years ago)

that's why it's "hyperreal"

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Monday, 11 July 2005 06:01 (twenty years ago)

also, don't forget the "stunning air attacks!"

― kingfish (Kingfish), Monday, 11 July 2005 06:05 (twenty years ago)

Great white sharks can leap completely out of the water (I saw footage of it on discovery channel or national geographic or something), so the idea of "stunning air attacks" isn't totally farfetched.

Plenty of things about this game sound ridiculous ("shark vision," "dismemberment engine," the fact that Jaws can collect money), but if you don't look at the game as an accurate depiction of reality, I think it could be fun. I'd be interested in playing it.

― Lingbertt, Monday, 11 July 2005 08:19 (twenty years ago)

http://www.jawsthegame.com/images/screens/big/screen0159.jpg

The Great White Millionaire

― Lingbertt, Monday, 11 July 2005 08:22 (twenty years ago)

http://www.retro-experience.co.uk/megadrive/pictures/eccopage/ecco2.jpg

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Monday, 11 July 2005 08:33 (twenty years ago)

Will Naughty by Nature be on the soundtrack?

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Monday, 11 July 2005 16:12 (twenty years ago)

You better be able to eat the shit out of Ecco.

― n/a (Nick A.), Monday, 11 July 2005 16:14 (twenty years ago)

I distinctly heard him say "Jews".

― Casuistry (Chris P), Monday, 11 July 2005 16:18 (twenty years ago)

Face fearsome arena bosses including killer whales, powerful boats and more.

I'm kind of speechless here. OH NOES IT IS TEH POWERFUL BOATE!!!1! FLEE!!!!!!

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 11 July 2005 16:28 (twenty years ago)

Not to mention the appalling timing of releasing this after several high-profile shark attacks!

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 11 July 2005 16:29 (twenty years ago)

i wonder if you'll be able to attack and eat the Sea World clone...

― kingfish, Monday, 11 July 2005 16:42 (twenty years ago)

one year passes...

out today!

fun fact: this shit is made by the same folks who did the psx Ecco game!

http://www.jawsthegame.com/

― kingfish praetor (kingfish 2.0), Wednesday, 6 September 2006 01:55 (nineteen years ago)

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