and how are we doing today?

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it's been a rough week. you managing ok?

― the urban heat island effect (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 14 July 2005 09:03 (twenty years ago)

It's been a rough few weeks for me. But I think I'm ok.

― tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Thursday, 14 July 2005 09:05 (twenty years ago)

sucky

― huell howser (chaki), Thursday, 14 July 2005 09:05 (twenty years ago)

I don't know. Ask me tomorrow.

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 14 July 2005 09:06 (twenty years ago)

tense, but getting there

anyway, how's yourself?

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 14 July 2005 09:06 (twenty years ago)

This would be a good oppurtunity to thank all the ILXors, who have made things a lot easier for me lately.

― tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Thursday, 14 July 2005 09:07 (twenty years ago)

Tired, hot, supposed to be studying, listening to Anthrax. I wish it was October to be honest.

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 14 July 2005 09:08 (twenty years ago)

had a pretty rough beginning to the week for different reasons myself, my girlfriend was moving back to Scotland for college, Sunday at the airport and afterwards was just the worst fucking feeling in the world. thought I was prepared for it having awlays known it would happen since we started going out, but I wasn't!

I suppose in the context of wider happenings in London etc it's sort of trivial but has coloured my thinking about them alot too.

Having said that I feel surprisingly ok today, just been trying to concentrate on work/DJing and not feel bad or lonely, I arranged to meet people I hadn't seen in a while and that was good for filling time in the evenings. Tonight I'll be DJing so hopefully get a kick out of that as usual.

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 14 July 2005 09:09 (twenty years ago)

if anyone needs cheering up, Lambeth country fair is going on all weekend at Brockwell park. Garanteed to put a smile on your face, and jerk chicken in yer belly

― lukey (Lukey G), Thursday, 14 July 2005 09:09 (twenty years ago)

That sounds good Lukey.

I'm alright really as long as I don't think about things too much (I still can't really take in what has happened it seems) but I'm much more nervous on trains again just generally as things always seem to fuck up more on them in the Summer anyway. For many the Summer buzz has been totally harshed here but hopefully there will be sincere revelry again one day soon.

Thanks for asking, JBR.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Thursday, 14 July 2005 09:10 (twenty years ago)

the weather's been gross here, very humid. i can't sleep and i don't think i've eaten a decent meal all week. last night there was an infestation of baby moths in my room. tonight, the toilet broke (again) and i'm not allowed to powder my nose until we call in a plumber. i desperately need to buy new shoes cuz the ones i have make me look like a bum.

― the urban heat island effect (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 14 July 2005 09:11 (twenty years ago)

I feel utterly calm and normal but also detached and surreal and I am worried because things aren't normal so why do I feel they are? I feel like my mind has switched itself off and I dunno what it's going to be like when it comes back again. I am also constantly anxious and getting on the bus has been very hard.

― Raston Warrior Robot (alix), Thursday, 14 July 2005 09:12 (twenty years ago)

i don't think i've eaten a decent meal all week

oh yeah, there was the burrito, but there was too much damn sour cream in it.

― the urban heat island effect (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 14 July 2005 09:14 (twenty years ago)

i am stressed out fucking badly really really badly and undecided. at the same time i seem strangely calm.

― mullygrubbr (bulbs), Thursday, 14 July 2005 09:16 (twenty years ago)

i need

a day off

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 14 July 2005 09:19 (twenty years ago)

preferably

a week

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 14 July 2005 09:20 (twenty years ago)

After a tough week, oddly today is the first day that I have felt a bit better. I thought today would be really tough, but so far it's not too bad. I am sure that it will be a different story at 12 o/c though.

― PinXorchiXoR (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 14 July 2005 09:22 (twenty years ago)

The tension and uncertainty about you-know-what is frankly doing my head in but I'm still trudging on - work has been OK, and fellow friends and ILxors have been brilliant.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 14 July 2005 09:23 (twenty years ago)

what is happening at 12?

― mullygrubbr (bulbs), Thursday, 14 July 2005 09:24 (twenty years ago)

Tired, had 3 hours sleep due to pains in my chest. It’s been going on for a few months now; I’m getting no more than 5 hrs sleep a night. I’m waiting for the result of an x-ray to see what the problem is.

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Thursday, 14 July 2005 09:24 (twenty years ago)

two minutes silence. Not looking forward to it, I had hoped to leave the office and be walking to get lunch, but Ken's decided that everyone should get out in the streets for it.

― Vicky (Vicky), Thursday, 14 July 2005 09:26 (twenty years ago)

*hugs*

― dahlin (dahlin), Thursday, 14 July 2005 09:35 (twenty years ago)

Best to all, again.

I am hungry and am about to have lunch.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 14 July 2005 09:38 (twenty years ago)

Still feeling very fragile, not very able to concentrate, not very able to sleep. Constantly afraid that I will lose it, because my anger and grief and fear only seems to be expressed in subverted and repressed and and transferred and probably only inappropriate ways.

― MIS Information (kate), Thursday, 14 July 2005 09:44 (twenty years ago)

I have just had a sandwich, am about to observe the silence, and then will go and get new glasses.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Thursday, 14 July 2005 09:46 (twenty years ago)

Curiously the one feeling I don't have at the moment is anger. Realising that the bombers were, essentially, suckers/dupes/patsies has perhaps dispelled a lot of that from my mind.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 14 July 2005 09:46 (twenty years ago)

At the moment I'm incredibly relieved as my boss has said he's fine with us not joining the mass troop out to the Quad. This 2 mins silence thing seems to have focussed the sadness etc through a lens.

I am also starting to feel the effex0r of too much JUNK FOOD ugh.

― Lucretia My Reflection (Lucretia My Reflection), Thursday, 14 July 2005 09:47 (twenty years ago)

Concerned and sad abt Liz, as all are. Also driven to insanity with a terrible night shift pls oncall shift that means im working twice the hours for not much extra pay, and at night... it has literally driven me to drink and after afew weeks of daily drinking I am feeling very very run down and crapped out indeed. I cant keep this up.

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 14 July 2005 09:48 (twenty years ago)

I am really fucking pissed off that this silence is happening before we know for sure what missing really means.

― RickyT (RickyT), Thursday, 14 July 2005 09:49 (twenty years ago)

I feel so unwell.

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Thursday, 14 July 2005 09:51 (twenty years ago)

im really behind on my book, about 20 pages, and im chasing more then im writing...

― anthony easton (anthony), Thursday, 14 July 2005 09:55 (twenty years ago)

I'm doing absolutely fucking horrendously, ta.

― emil.y (emil.y), Thursday, 14 July 2005 10:07 (twenty years ago)

Oh dear, why? :-(

― nathalie's body's designed for two (stevie nixed), Thursday, 14 July 2005 10:33 (twenty years ago)

*Mouse in house (see other thread)
*Break-up of long-term relationship
*No prospects of getting anywhere that's not a dive to live when we move out (or worse, having to move back in with my parents, aaaagh)
*The knowledge that I'm an awful human being
*Gots me no money
*General feeling of shaken-upness following Londinium events (not that I can really claim to be directly affected by this, but still...)
*Ah, misery and malaise seem to be my default settings
*Oh yeah, I hate summer, too
*Shit, loads of other things
*Um, the realisation that I'm probably an alcoholic?
*Let's face it, I just suck at being alive.

― emil.y (emil.y), Thursday, 14 July 2005 10:45 (twenty years ago)

*The knowledge that I'm an awful human being

are you?

― the urban heat island effect (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 14 July 2005 10:51 (twenty years ago)

emil.y, are you in fact me?

― tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Thursday, 14 July 2005 10:58 (twenty years ago)

Yes, and... maybe?

I don't know, it's kind of got to the stage where I just want to laugh at how ridiculous my very existence is - the dark depths of despair just seem somehow... funny. I guess that's just my current way of avoiding trying to deal with any actual problems head on.

Also, add to the list that I seem to be having problems spelling things these days, which is the most unlike me thing ever to have happened, and I fear it may be a sign that my rampant self-abuse over several years is catching up on me.

Oh, and you can add to the list the fact that some people I know might see these posts, which is going to make me even more uncomfortable around my friends than I usually am.

Hooray, huzzah.

― emil.y (emil.y), Thursday, 14 July 2005 11:07 (twenty years ago)

my sympathy emily, and tissp, I hope it all works out for you

I've got some mussels cooking, and my weed guy just came through for me, my day is improving

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 14 July 2005 11:11 (twenty years ago)

Put the weed in the mussells for maximum joy

― tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Thursday, 14 July 2005 11:14 (twenty years ago)

what, like timmy mallett with the chippendales?

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 14 July 2005 11:15 (twenty years ago)

too late

oh well, still good

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 14 July 2005 11:48 (twenty years ago)

Life just keeps smacking me down since late last year. It's got to start picking up sometime soon.

― Ed (dali), Thursday, 14 July 2005 11:50 (twenty years ago)

xpost Marcello:

???

― tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Thursday, 14 July 2005 12:04 (twenty years ago)

it was the playing with words, you see - put a weed in the "muscles" for maximum joy - it is like asking the Jacksons if their album was a flop would they go and live in Heartbreak Hotel?

*long, deathly silence punctuated only by tumbleweeds blowing in the pitiless wind*

playing with words, you see...is funny...

*cue barber's adagio*

i'll get me coat

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 14 July 2005 12:06 (twenty years ago)

Yesterday was really bad. Today is slightly better so far. I also feel that brain-switched-off thing, and taking the tube is difficult--at the end of each trip I find myself practically sprinting up the escalators to get out.

― sgs (sgs), Thursday, 14 July 2005 12:16 (twenty years ago)

I'm doing pretty well considering the grief of the last week, but I have a bit ILX-addiction problem and a workload that is going to come squarely into conflict with it over the next 2-3 weeks. Every time I post to ILX from now to August 1st, it would be handy if someone would say to me, "William, don't you think you should get back to doing a good job on your only source of income?" But I need the human contact and sense of community I get from hanging out here. Dilemma!

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Thursday, 14 July 2005 12:23 (twenty years ago)

xpost Marcello:

???

(Only kidding, I get it :) )

― tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Thursday, 14 July 2005 12:41 (twenty years ago)

William - email your favourite ilxors. That way you get more intimate, one-to-one communication, but only a few times a day.

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 14 July 2005 12:45 (twenty years ago)

The month has started off rather crummy, and has just gotten worse.

Oh well, there's the county fair to look forward to.

― tokyo nursery school: afternoon session (rosemary), Thursday, 14 July 2005 12:46 (twenty years ago)

I shaved the comedy moustache this past weekend. Meanwhile the hair on top of my head is growing in nicely and has moved on from "scratchy side of velcro" to "puffy side of velcro" and into "plush toy" territory.

Discovered that Odwalla's Lime Quencher with a shot of tequila in it makes for an excellent, no-frills margarita on the rocks. Will next be experimenting with freezing the limeade in an ice tray and throwing the whole mess in the Cuisinart.

I have a condo-warming party to go to this weekend and I just found out about a mailing list devoted to "human-computer interaction security" which seems interesting, moreso than the fucking Common Criteria group project I'm supposed to be working on. The Common Criteria is a really good example of a broken system being propped up by blue-chip companies that have spent millions to comply with it and appreciate the barrier to entry it creates for smaller competitors, that's what I've learned so far. Fuck the Common Criteria. Fuck it in the eye.

Oh and I have a big fuckoff draft paper due Monday that I haven't really started writing! For my other class!

I ordered a preamp for my powered speakers so we can finally have some actual volume control in the apartment.

I'm doing all right, current news headlines and associated fallout notwithstanding.

― TOMBOT, Thursday, 14 July 2005 13:22 (twenty years ago)

I feel emotionally exhausted due to arguments with my sister and the pain of trying to be financially responsible. I have a long weekend ahead of me though. I'm taking Monday off to recover from this weekend, which will hopefully be one long party.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 14 July 2005 13:30 (twenty years ago)

The internet is such a magical place, where, with only the barest modicum of research, one can easily develop a little perspective on just how not-actually-life-shattering it is to have, say, a lifelong "friend" flat-out steal from you, or to have your heart broken in a billion trillion places. So, today, apart from the whole my-digestive-system-is-growling-and-rumbling-like-Gozilla thing, I am going to be appreciative of how easy my life is. Thank you, internet.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 14 July 2005 13:36 (twenty years ago)

Better than yesterday. The things that made yesterday bad were looking at the internet too much and my Mum saying some crappy, self-centred, unsympathetic things on the phone last night, although this was balanced out by my sister being particularly nice. Today I'm finding comfort in a marker, a ritual, a self-imposed media blackout (except for ilx on my tea break) and the prospect of a good dinner somewhere posh this evening.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Thursday, 14 July 2005 13:39 (twenty years ago)

I finished both my deadlines with a minimum of fuss despite a whacky tape recording of an interview to transcribe - easily the worst bit of doing phone interviews is the transcription, esp when it's a case of DUH YOU SAT TOO CLOSE TO THE BROADBAND BOX and there is all this buzzing obscuring the speaking voice of your drawly Dutch subject in NYC yet any time I honk in laughter on the same tape that's JUST LOUD AND CLEAR, THANKS.

Whatever. Off to contributors' drinks at office tonight. Always good to put in an appearance when office very happy with work submitted.

― suzy (suzy), Thursday, 14 July 2005 13:44 (twenty years ago)

Hey nickalicious dude I hope you're okay or at least will be soon.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Thursday, 14 July 2005 13:57 (twenty years ago)

your e-mail address just made me laugh, as if i'd only just noticed it for the first time. this is something.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Thursday, 14 July 2005 13:58 (twenty years ago)

i am hot and sticky and feel hungover even though i didnt drink last night and am avoiding any sort of work, as per. i am not unhappy but it's not a spectacular morning.

― strng hlkngtn, Thursday, 14 July 2005 14:05 (twenty years ago)

Completely fucking awful. Many of you know that an old friend of mine died a few weeks ago. I hadn't got all my strength (physical or emotional) back after that by last week. Other bonus features in the last month: being dumped by my girlfriend, and having what looks like a final never-speak-again row with my mother. I am suffering from clinical depression and have let's say a dangerous history with that. I'm sure things could be worse, but I don't really want to imagine how.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 14 July 2005 16:24 (twenty years ago)

things could always be worse. still, i'd like to have a day where i didn't cry, over a myriad of shit things.

― ffffff, Thursday, 14 July 2005 16:45 (twenty years ago)

martin, that's dreadful. any one of those would be bad enough.

i figure we ought to start buying lottery tickets because we're due some serious good luck.

― koogs (koogs), Thursday, 14 July 2005 17:12 (twenty years ago)

Am I allowed to post to this thread if I'm doing well?

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 14 July 2005 17:19 (twenty years ago)

It's been an iffy couple of weeks for me too, but I'm feeling uncharacteristically hopeful today. This may change, of course, by the late afternoon.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Thursday, 14 July 2005 17:25 (twenty years ago)

i'm feeling okay . . . a little stereotypically premenstrual since all i can think about is chocolate. how much junk food is too much in a day?

― kelsey (kelstarry), Thursday, 14 July 2005 17:43 (twenty years ago)

I'm all in favour of some 'doin' great!' posts, Jordan. I like to be reminded there is happiness in the world, now and then.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 14 July 2005 18:12 (twenty years ago)

but martin . . . what about the *chocolate*?

― kelsey (kelstarry), Thursday, 14 July 2005 18:16 (twenty years ago)

Things are better with my sister! I'm happy again.

Of course, Jordan!

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 14 July 2005 18:19 (twenty years ago)

I'm having a good day, a good week, in general. I'm thinking about walking down to the Coffee Bean for an iced coffee thingie.

― Orbit (Orbit), Thursday, 14 July 2005 18:21 (twenty years ago)

hungry.

― latebloomer: occasionally OTM (latebloomer), Thursday, 14 July 2005 18:23 (twenty years ago)

Okay, I'm in a good mood because: I went home for lunch to make a grilled salami, mozzarella + tomato sandwich and watch a Harry Connick Jr. dvd, I got all my important work done this morning, and I'm leaving in two hours to start mixing my band's new cd.

Also, my relationship has been really good, the weather is nice, and I've been going to the gym relatively regularly!

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 14 July 2005 18:41 (twenty years ago)

I'm doing OK. It's been a shitty day, what with the silence and the not knowing, and also it was a year to the day since one of my colleagues died, so myself and my boss (the only members of staff who worked with her) drove up to the cemetery this afternoon to lay some flowers.

But now I have a bottle of wine and some cheese and biscuits and am looking forward to watching Jarvis on the telly talking about music. Also, I still have the memories of a really good couple of evenings with friends old and new (Ned-FAP Glasgow edition).

― ailsa (ailsa), Thursday, 14 July 2005 18:41 (twenty years ago)

On the surface, I seem to be doing OK. I am getting through the days, enjoying being back in Canada after almost 3 years in London, - seeing friends, family, etc. It's brutally HOT here, but I can deal with that. So overall, I am keeping a level head about everything, which does feel a bit weird considering that I have thrown my life into complete chaos. And then of course there is the sad news in London, which like lixi it just seems so surreal that I don't even feel like it has affected me - yet. I also have this weird detached feeling and am kinda in a daze about it all.

And when I give it some thought (which unfortunately I have lots of time to do), I get VERY down about my situation. I have moved back to Canada to pursue a dream job which I thought was quite secure, and now there is a good chance I might not get it, which would crush me. This is basically a job that couldn't be more perfect for me - I have tons of good connections there, I have been recommended for it by loads of people, and I thought my interview went well, but now I hear through the grapevine that I might not be their first choice. Which hits me hard, because it leads me to think, "if I can't get THIS job, then how the hell am I going to get ANY other decent job?".

Worse, I have NO money (negative balances in bank accounts in 2 countries) whatsoever, and if I don't start working soon I am in DEEP trouble. Plus I am partly staying with my parents, which although it is totally fine and we get along, I can't help feeling like some sort of loser or failure by staying there. I am basically in limbo, waiting to hear about the big job, applying for others just in case (and getting nowhere), and doing a LOT of "so what the hell am I doing in life anyway" kind of thinking, and feeling stressed and lousy that I am in the situation I am in.

I know it could be much worse, and I try to think positively, but it's not helping much...

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Thursday, 14 July 2005 19:05 (twenty years ago)

Tired. Got finals coming up next week; stayed up 'til 1 am last night to try to get my iPod to connect (it still won't work, and I think I need to hit the Genius Bar soon); 10-month-old daughter has decided she doesn't like sleeping past 5:30 am.

Things could be worse, but I need sleep desperately.

― mike a, Thursday, 14 July 2005 19:08 (twenty years ago)

On top of everything else, I have sore boobs! Poor Martin, at least that's one problem you can't have :)

― Mädchen (Madchen), Friday, 15 July 2005 14:50 (twenty years ago)

Rob dude I really hope you get that job. If you don't then I know you can find another way into similar somehow.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Friday, 15 July 2005 14:55 (twenty years ago)

I feel a bit manic today. Some of you may have noticed.

Rob, I really really REALLY hope you get that job, as well.

― MIS Information (kate), Friday, 15 July 2005 14:58 (twenty years ago)

I'm tired today. Tired and confused by myself and numbness.

― Raston Warrior Robot (alix), Friday, 15 July 2005 15:13 (twenty years ago)

I'm feeling fine, listening to Green Day, and it's not so hot today.

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 15 July 2005 15:28 (twenty years ago)

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