Romance question: Does "I'm ambivalent" always actually mean "I like you a lot, but honestly, I think I could do better?"

(Does it help that the person in question is about a year past the end of a bad marriage, and about a month past an unsuccessful post-marriage realationship?)

(Probably not, huh?)

the person in question could feel ambivalent about you or (perhaps likely post-divorce)ambivalent about "relationships" in general.

in my exp "I'm ambivalent" is often a polite way of saying "I don't give a shit either shit either way."

But: ambivalent about me in particular = not so hot.

There is much sexual chemistry but very litttle sex. It's sort of a "jam yesterday, and jam tomorrow, but never jam today" situation.

I keep lowering and lowering my expectations, yet remain disappointed. I really like this person. I understand her (yup: I'm M, she's F) life is complicated. I don't want to treat what could be a fun thing with more drama than it warrants. But should I cut my losses and get the hell away?

the guys of ilx seem so much more emo about this stuff than the girls (me included of course). why is that?

The women of ILX are more experienced?

*ducks*

Karmic payback sucks.

Did someone ask me out this weekend and I didn't notice?

Because I feel like I'm in exactly the same situation as the woman in your dilemma. And if I said I was ambivalent, I would mean "I like you a lot but there is NO WAY IN HELL I can deal with a relationship right now. And I would not be able to do anything but f*ck you up, and I value your friendship too much to do that to you."

It's not necessarily that ambivalent = "think I could do better", but could (especially given the circumstances) = "i'm nervous of relationships at the moment"

Hence why I describe my attitude towards romance, relationships, etc. at the moment as "intensely ambivalent". I desperately crave the affection, intimacy, etc. yet never ever ever want to be hurt as badly as I have recently been, ever again. Hence, ambivalence.

Not caring is not the same thing as ambivalence.

My view exactly.

I think we're all *emo*, but guys feel they can just open up here whereas women do this more *IRL* so don't feel the need to do this here as much maybe? I don't know. It's difficult. If somebody would say they feel ambivalent, I'd ask them to make up their minds because ambivalence is about not being able to make a choice, right?

I desperately crave the affection, intimacy, etc. yet never ever ever want to be hurt as badly as I have recently been, ever again.

Alas love is all about showing you're vulnerable. It's hard...

Hence why I've stopped really... trying. Just trying to put my life back in some kind of order, feel more confident, lust over fictional sea captains, and then worry about it when it feels more right.