The HMS Suds

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http://photos23.flickr.com/26797307_e75438f694.jpg

Ahoy, mateys and scurvy seadogs! At a tidy (NZ)$7000 The HMS Suds is the most nautical you get with your feet dry, for all your Rum storage and pourage. That's right, Sailors, Whalers and three-sheets-to-the-wind Beaufort Scalers - this superbly handcrafted vessel is a bar/wine cellar in ship format!

― rainy (rainy), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 09:40 (twenty years ago)

Rum and sailing, together at last.

― Hotman Paris Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 09:43 (twenty years ago)

Look at the craftsmanship!

http://photos21.flickr.com/26797309_0174fcb0da.jpg

― rainy (rainy), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 09:44 (twenty years ago)

I WANT IT!!! I WANTS IT I WANTS IT I WANTS IT!!!

(I have been going on all weekend about how I want a boat (with or without brooding Captain Anderson to sail it for me) but I was at least hoping to get one that was seaworthy.)

― Rum, Sodomy and the LAN (kate), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 09:45 (twenty years ago)

rainy ahoy!!!

― CarsmileSteve (CarsmileSteve), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 09:46 (twenty years ago)

yo ho ho and a bottle of bacardi breezer

― Hotman Paris Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 09:56 (twenty years ago)

The ship is all I can think about since I first saw her. I was gobsmacked with joy, then immediately afterwards, sorrow when I saw how much $.

― rainy (rainy), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 10:02 (twenty years ago)

No, no, Lambs Naval Rum is the only one that will do.

― Rum, Sodomy and the LAN (kate), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 10:10 (twenty years ago)

Kate how much pocket money do you have?

― rainy (rainy), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 10:17 (twenty years ago)

Because, you know, we could put our capital together and sail this baby to the Carribbean. Adam and Carsmile could be our first mates.

― rainy (rainy), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 10:22 (twenty years ago)

Right now I have £25 until the end of the month. :-(

I won't be paid properly until I get my National Insurance Number.

How many NZ$ to the £?

― Rum, Sodomy and the LAN (kate), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 10:23 (twenty years ago)

Can I be the insouciant scullery maid? I won't do anything to help so the weevils will get the upper hand. I'll get seasick all the time, and have the sniffles. When my nose drips I'll wipe it on my sleeve like a poor person out of an Enid Blyton story.

― estela (estela), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 11:44 (twenty years ago)

I'll deferentially call you 'Miss Rainy' but you will have certain suspicions due to detecting an insolent undertone.

― estela (estela), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 11:50 (twenty years ago)

Yes, but will you call me Mrs. Captain Anderson?

― Rum, Sodomy and the LAN (kate), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 11:52 (twenty years ago)

Aye, Aye, Mrs Captain Anderson!

*inaudible mutter*

― estela (estela), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 11:54 (twenty years ago)

None of that sullenness now, wench, or I'll have my husband ROAR at you! (With added extra glowering if you're really insouciant.)

― Rum, Sodomy and the LAN (kate), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 11:55 (twenty years ago)

*Sniffle*

― estela (estela), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 11:57 (twenty years ago)

What does insouciant actually mean?

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 12:03 (twenty years ago)

'marked by blithe unconcern'

― estela (estela), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 12:09 (twenty years ago)

I can be the cheeky cabin boy scamp who runs around bringing tea to the officers and weevils to the crew.

― Come Back Johnny B (Johnney B), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 12:44 (twenty years ago)

We can have little chats about how uppity Mrs Captain Anderson is and then one wintry evening I will confide that Captain Anderson has been having his way with me. You will look intrigued and say 'go on then' but you'll be secretly crushed because you have gone sweet on me. I'll get pregnant to cruel heartless Captain Anderson and you'll offer to marry me and give my baby a father and a name. I will accept and we'll go back to dry land where you'll get a job in a garage and I'll paint my nails and sigh a lot. One day I'll keep an appointment I made, meeting a man from the motor trade. That night you'll sit in our cold kitchen wondering what you should give the baby for tea. The phone won't ring.

― estela (estela), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 13:16 (twenty years ago)

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

OK, no, not just coz I am jealous. But also because Captain Anderson would not do that because of his DEEP DARK SECRET.

Besides, he is a gentleman. Harrumph.

― Rum, Sodomy and the LAN (kate), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 13:19 (twenty years ago)

You know him so well.

― estela (estela), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 13:20 (twenty years ago)

I'll be the Paris Hilton wannabe who lies on the deck all day drinking and complaining that I'm bored!

Mrs. Captain Anderson, your riches convert to a small fortune in NZ, you'll probably have to bankroll the entire voyage.

― rainy (rainy), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 22:06 (twenty years ago)

When I've tanned myself to a deep ochre, I'll give the scullery maid an un-needed makeover.

― rainy (rainy), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 22:11 (twenty years ago)

You will tell me that the Lady Di ruffled blouses from 1981 are making a comeback and I'll be initially a bit suspicious but in time I will acquiesce. I will look foolish in my gravy-stained Lady Di ruffled blouse and you will laugh- a tinkling laugh. Mrs. Captain Anderson will be quaffing rum-based beverages and will be as drunk as a lord. Captain Anderson won't want a bar of any of us.

― estela (estela), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 23:07 (twenty years ago)

Ah, Captain Anderson's roar is so bad (and his bark is apparently worse than his bite) that it will cut through all of our drunken stupours and get us under weigh!

― Rum, Sodomy and the LAN (kate), Wednesday, 20 July 2005 06:59 (twenty years ago)

I don't think I like the sound of Captain Anderson.

― estela (estela), Wednesday, 20 July 2005 13:27 (twenty years ago)

You don't have to. I do, though. :-)

http://www.bbc.co.uk/pressoffice/images/bank/programmes_tv/drama/ends/300_jared.jpg

― Rum, Sodomy and the LAN (kate), Wednesday, 20 July 2005 13:29 (twenty years ago)

Surely the less people like him, the more he's left with no other opportunity than to run to Kate.

xpost

― tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Wednesday, 20 July 2005 13:29 (twenty years ago)

He looks better than he sounds!

I aren't going to wash the dishes Mrs. Captain Anderson.

― estela (estela), Wednesday, 20 July 2005 13:32 (twenty years ago)

He is a solitary man and he likes his pleasures solitary. Apart from that what he shares with his wife! You have your duties of dishwashing, wench, and I have my duties of teabagging.

― Rum, Sodomy and the LAN (kate), Wednesday, 20 July 2005 13:54 (twenty years ago)

The HMS Suds is like Paradise on Earth.

― estela (estela), Wednesday, 20 July 2005 14:00 (twenty years ago)

It is a "happy ship" indeed. More rum?

― Rum, Sodomy and the LAN (kate), Wednesday, 20 July 2005 14:01 (twenty years ago)

Yes please Mrs Captain Anderson.

― estela (estela), Wednesday, 20 July 2005 14:04 (twenty years ago)

Instead of washing the dishes, let's throw them over the side. Extra rum ration for anyone who hits the cockade on Captain Anderson's hat!

― Rum, Sodomy and the LAN (kate), Wednesday, 20 July 2005 14:07 (twenty years ago)

I'm going to aim for his sharp pointy nose.

― estela (estela), Wednesday, 20 July 2005 14:08 (twenty years ago)

ILX is scaring me recently.

― tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Wednesday, 20 July 2005 14:09 (twenty years ago)

(Why, TISSP? The real world is a scary place, I don't want to live there any more, I want to live on the HMS Suds with Captain Anderson.)

Oh no, careful Estela! You might actually hit him, and then he would no doubt beat me. Possibly even with his cat'o'nine tails!

― Rum, Sodomy and the LAN (kate), Wednesday, 20 July 2005 14:12 (twenty years ago)

I will hit him because I'm a crack shot.

― estela (estela), Wednesday, 20 July 2005 14:16 (twenty years ago)

(Don't be scared TISSP.)

― estela (estela), Wednesday, 20 July 2005 14:17 (twenty years ago)

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for the piracy. We were drinking teh rum and speaking like pirates for a good twenty minutes last night in the pub (this is actually true).

― tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Wednesday, 20 July 2005 14:19 (twenty years ago)

Good.

― estela (estela), Wednesday, 20 July 2005 14:24 (twenty years ago)

We are not all pirates. Captain Anderson is a Post Captain Of The Line!

(The piracy is going on under his pointy nose with this infernal Help!)

― Rum, Sodomy and the LAN (kate), Wednesday, 20 July 2005 14:24 (twenty years ago)

Exhausted by my travails- peeling potatoes and whatnot- I shall now retire to my little bunk where I will sleep fitfully.

Goodnight Mrs. Captain Anderson (and TISSP if you are still here.)

― estela (estela), Wednesday, 20 July 2005 14:29 (twenty years ago)

Yarr, take thee to your bunk, yarr

― tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Wednesday, 20 July 2005 14:32 (twenty years ago)

Sleep well, me hearties!

I mean, err, that will be all, Miss.

― Rum, Sodomy and the LAN (kate), Wednesday, 20 July 2005 14:33 (twenty years ago)

Hush hush whisper who dares
estela the scullery maid is saying her prayers

― estela (estela), Wednesday, 20 July 2005 14:35 (twenty years ago)

Hush hush whisper not on your life
Captain Anderson is beating his wife...

― Rum, Sodomy and the LAN (kate), Wednesday, 20 July 2005 14:37 (twenty years ago)

Maid! Maid! Where is that blasted scullery maid? No good help on the high seas. Where is my morning coffee? Be so good as to put a shot of rum in it, my dear girl. The good Captain was positively... willful with me last night! I require fortification!

Where is that scamp!?

― Rum, Sodomy and the LAN (kate), Thursday, 21 July 2005 07:47 (twenty years ago)

Can I be the ship porcupine?

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 21 July 2005 07:53 (twenty years ago)

A porcupine? What would we do with a porcupine? Running about, getting its quills stuck in the sails? I'm sure it's bad luck to have a porcupine aboard a ship! (Yes bad luck to have a woman aboard as well, but the Captain does need his wife. And the wife her maid.)

― Rum, Sodomy and the LAN (kate), Thursday, 21 July 2005 07:55 (twenty years ago)

Daw ya ruined me Young Ones joke ;P porcupine.. concubine.. ah ne'er mind ;)

Hey that rhymes!

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 21 July 2005 07:58 (twenty years ago)

I feel we have crossed some sort of line here. And I don't mean the equator.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Thursday, 21 July 2005 08:08 (twenty years ago)

::hangs down her head in shame::

I understand not the humour of the lower orders, obviously. Sigh.

― Rum, Sodomy and the LAN (kate), Thursday, 21 July 2005 08:10 (twenty years ago)

x-post ... WAIT!!!

We have crossed the equator?!?!?

BADGER BAG!!! A BADGER BAG!!!! HA HA!!!

We shall have some sport today!

― Rum, Sodomy and the LAN (kate), Thursday, 21 July 2005 08:11 (twenty years ago)

Who you callin' the lower orders, woman? ;P

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 21 July 2005 08:12 (twenty years ago)

I'm not making any coffee for anyone. I've got a mood.

I will smuggle you aboard Trayce! We won't tell Mrs. Captain Anderson. I will line a cardboard box with some shredded newspapers for you to sleep in!

― estela (estela), Thursday, 21 July 2005 08:16 (twenty years ago)

Show some respect, you stroppy lass, or I'll have my husband keelhaul you!

(I would chase you and thrash you but I am still quite sore from the keelhauling my husband administered me last night.)

― Rum, Sodomy and the LAN (kate), Thursday, 21 July 2005 08:18 (twenty years ago)

Yarr, tis a blustery morning. What be going on on deck?

― tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Thursday, 21 July 2005 08:19 (twenty years ago)

The captain is stomping about the Quarterdeck, his wife is drinking, her maid is sulking, and the porcupine is, erm... doing whatever it is porcupines do!

How are you this morning, Lt. TISSP?

― Rum, Sodomy and the LAN (kate), Thursday, 21 July 2005 08:32 (twenty years ago)

I am indeed grateful for my wax earplugs and my opium.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Thursday, 21 July 2005 08:47 (twenty years ago)

Yarr, I be ready for some mutiny on the high seas. But I'm always ready for mutiny on the high seas.

'Tis time for some rum, methinks. Yarr.

― tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Thursday, 21 July 2005 08:54 (twenty years ago)

Do not even joke of mutiny! Do you not know the power a Captain holds on his own ship? He can do anything he likes to you short of getting you in "the family way".

I'll tell the Captain you were saying such things! It would be nice to see him beat someone except me for a change!

― Rum, Sodomy and the LAN (kate), Thursday, 21 July 2005 08:56 (twenty years ago)

Mrs Captain Anderson, help!

*muffled scream*

― estela (estela), Thursday, 21 July 2005 08:57 (twenty years ago)

Oh no! Estella! What has happened to you!

have you fallen overboard? Or have you injured yourself upon the porcupine? I told you not to bring such things onboard.

― Rum, Sodomy and the LAN (kate), Thursday, 21 July 2005 08:59 (twenty years ago)

Bah! Back to my quarters, then. I have found a security hole in the UNIX Subversion client, and I be exploiting it in order to board enemy vessels. Yarr.

(this be an xpost)

― tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Thursday, 21 July 2005 09:01 (twenty years ago)

Trish, tissp and the porcupine are all flirting with Captain Anderson, and 'the porcupine' is actually a very attractive girl with red hair!

― estela (estela), Thursday, 21 July 2005 09:27 (twenty years ago)

It was the opium!

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Thursday, 21 July 2005 09:37 (twenty years ago)

You are all horrid to me. I know that the Captain is faithful to me.

― Rum, Sodomy and the LAN (kate), Thursday, 21 July 2005 09:39 (twenty years ago)

This is my fantasy and you are RUINING it. Humph.

― Rum, Sodomy and the LAN (kate), Thursday, 21 July 2005 09:39 (twenty years ago)

See Trish, first you chase the dragon then the dragon chases you.

― estela (estela), Thursday, 21 July 2005 09:40 (twenty years ago)

::starts to cry::

― Rum, Sodomy and the LAN (kate), Thursday, 21 July 2005 09:40 (twenty years ago)

Just you wait till we make landfall, Estela. Misadventure ain't even in it. Oh yes.

Anyway, that's that unfortunate business taken care of. Back to snoozing among the livestock. Wake me up when the guns need running out.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Thursday, 21 July 2005 09:44 (twenty years ago)

Yarr, what the fuck be all this noise?!!

― tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Thursday, 21 July 2005 09:46 (twenty years ago)

The dreadful servants are teazing me horribly with tales of my husband's supposed flirtations. Take away their paregoric immediately! The Captain would have them in irons (and not the sort they might enjoy, either!) immediately if he knew of this slander upon his good, pure name.

― Rum, Sodomy and the LAN (kate), Thursday, 21 July 2005 09:48 (twenty years ago)

Bah, be quiet all of ye! Or it be to the plank, yarr!

― tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Thursday, 21 July 2005 09:53 (twenty years ago)

You cannot threaten me! I am the Captain's wife! Only the Captain himself my threaten me upon his own ship!

(And I usually enjoy it when he does so.)

― Rum, Sodomy and the LAN (kate), Thursday, 21 July 2005 09:54 (twenty years ago)

*runs in, scampering*

I've bought you coffee, maaaaam! Sorry it took so long . . . there was a hull breach in the rigging and the poop deck needed a new dylithium crystal. Once i've compiled this .mdb, I'll be awaiting your orders, maaaaam.

― Come Back Johnny B (Johnney B), Thursday, 21 July 2005 11:03 (twenty years ago)

Now THAT is what I call a dilligent young officer! He will go far! I will give the Captain my commendation and have him reccomend you for promotion!

― Rum, Sodomy and the LAN (kate), Thursday, 21 July 2005 11:05 (twenty years ago)

Thank you, maaaaam! Um . . . yarrr!

(it doesn't really work when I do it)

― Come Back Johnny B (Johnney B), Thursday, 21 July 2005 11:09 (twenty years ago)

Do you have anything for me, cabin boy? I want a parrot that swears and sings sea shanties.

― estela (estela), Thursday, 21 July 2005 11:11 (twenty years ago)

Cabin Boy? He's been promoted to Midshipman!

― Rum, Sodomy and the LAN (kate), Thursday, 21 July 2005 11:12 (twenty years ago)

It's alright John, only the lower orders talk like that (which proves that tissp was promoted from among the men. Suspicious).

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Thursday, 21 July 2005 11:13 (twenty years ago)

Master B, yesterday:

http://www.nmm.ac.uk/upload/img_400/PW4970.jpg

― Rum, Sodomy and the LAN (kate), Thursday, 21 July 2005 11:13 (twenty years ago)

You might want to reconsider that promotion, Mrs. Captain Anderson. While we were 'aving our tea he told me your Christian name is 'Tenille'.

― estela (estela), Thursday, 21 July 2005 11:15 (twenty years ago)

Estella, you tell wicked tales and I no longer believe a word that comes out of your wicked mouth!

― Rum, Sodomy and the LAN (kate), Thursday, 21 July 2005 11:15 (twenty years ago)

That chap's got a mighty big sextant.

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Thursday, 21 July 2005 11:16 (twenty years ago)

Maybe it's a VERY SMALL MIDSHIPMAN!!!

(Like the very small Pirate in the West Cornwall Pasty Company logo.)

― Rum, Sodomy and the LAN (kate), Thursday, 21 July 2005 11:17 (twenty years ago)

You could be right - the book under his arm looks rather big too.

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Thursday, 21 July 2005 11:18 (twenty years ago)

Either this is the biggest pasty I've ever seen, or the Pirate is not actual size.

http://www.westcornwallpasty.co.uk/images/logo.gif

(As discussed on the Hornblower thread, midshipmen could start as young as 11 or so.)

― Rum, Sodomy and the LAN (kate), Thursday, 21 July 2005 11:21 (twenty years ago)

(which proves that tissp was promoted from among the men. Suspicious).

Yarr, 'twas a tale of blackmail and revenge, yarr.

― tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Thursday, 21 July 2005 11:56 (twenty years ago)

I think I saw a pastie that large in a shop window once.

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Thursday, 21 July 2005 12:00 (twenty years ago)

I go for lunch and I end up a midshipman - fantastic!

That chap's got a mighty big sextant.

I use it for navigation.

― Come Back Johnny B (Johnney B), Thursday, 21 July 2005 12:02 (twenty years ago)

I insist we go to shore so I can get a latte and a pedicure. Also, I am allergic to the porcupine.

― rainy (rainy), Thursday, 21 July 2005 20:58 (twenty years ago)

Yes, let's. I need to get my eyebrows renovated after yesterday's botched makeover. I do believe it was an error, by the way, not plain old-fashioned malice.

I don't know where the porcupine is! I wish she would re-appear.

― estela (estela), Thursday, 21 July 2005 21:49 (twenty years ago)

I wish she would too, so she can APOLOGISE for the RASH I am sporting.

Or perhaps I have scurvy, All I've been eating and drining this whole time is Bacardi Breezer and Turkey Twizzlers...

― rainy (rainy), Thursday, 21 July 2005 21:57 (twenty years ago)

At least you don't look surprised all the time due to someone else's over-zealous tweezing.

― estela (estela), Thursday, 21 July 2005 22:00 (twenty years ago)

At least you don't look expressionless all the time due to over-zealous botoxing.

Look, it's clear we all have a bit of cabin fever. Let's just go ashore and do a bit of shopping together, hmm?

― rainy (rainy), Thursday, 21 July 2005 22:04 (twenty years ago)

Ok, I love purchasing items.

― estela (estela), Thursday, 21 July 2005 22:50 (twenty years ago)

okay, it's settled then. You go and borrow The Captain and Mrs. Anderson's credit cards, I'll wait here. You know, keeping watch.

― rainy (rainy), Thursday, 21 July 2005 23:31 (twenty years ago)

Yarr! I be goin' nowhere near the land! The sea is my mistress, ye scurvy landlubbers! Yarr!

― tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Friday, 22 July 2005 07:59 (twenty years ago)

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