"Weep, you girls. My penis has given you up." -- Roman Graffiti from Pompeii

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II.7 (gladiator barracks); 8767: Floronius, privileged soldier of the 7th legion, was here. The women did not know of his presence. Only six women came to know, too few for such a stallion.

[...]

III.5.3 (on the wall in the street); 8898: Theophilus, don’t perform oral sex on girls against the city wall like a dog

― kingfish (Kingfish), Thursday, 21 July 2005 04:45 (twenty years ago)

Theophilus surely was a Greek visitor?

I love ancient graffiti. I love that the Egyptian temple in the Met in NYC has all that great graffiti from visitors across many years, much in Greek.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Thursday, 21 July 2005 04:51 (twenty years ago)

* Lesbianus, you defecate and you write, ‘Hello, everyone!’

Yeah, I know, from a pottery shop, but still.

― weather1ngda1eson (Brian), Thursday, 21 July 2005 04:59 (twenty years ago)

II.7 (gladiator barracks); 8792: On April 19th, I made bread

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 21 July 2005 05:29 (twenty years ago)

if you know what i mean

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 21 July 2005 05:32 (twenty years ago)

VIII.2 (in the basilica); 1882: The one who buggers a fire burns his penis

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Thursday, 21 July 2005 05:33 (twenty years ago)

(i'm struggling to come up with a metaphorical application for that one)

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Thursday, 21 July 2005 05:33 (twenty years ago)

A larger collection of these would be good for the UNIX fortune command.

― OLD SPICE® CHEMTRAILS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (ex machina), Thursday, 21 July 2005 05:39 (twenty years ago)

VIII.2 (in the basilica); 1842: Gaius Pumidius Dipilus was here on October 3rd 78 BC.

How did he know it was gonna be 78 years before Jesus showed up? Was he Jewish? Did he get a memo?

― HukL, Thursday, 21 July 2005 05:47 (twenty years ago)

That's my birthday.

― OLD SPICE® CHEMTRAILS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (ex machina), Thursday, 21 July 2005 05:59 (twenty years ago)

i forgot that we share a birthday.

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Thursday, 21 July 2005 06:02 (twenty years ago)

IX.8.3 (House of the Centenary; in the latrine near the front door); 5243: “Secundus defecated here” three time on one wall.

WHO DOES NUMBER 2 WORK FOR???!!!

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Thursday, 21 July 2005 06:03 (twenty years ago)

He works for number two, apparently.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Thursday, 21 July 2005 06:05 (twenty years ago)

The full content of the thread title bears relating.

I.2.20 (Bar/Brothel of Innulus and Papilio); 3932: Weep, you girls. My penis has given you up. Now it penetrates menâ€™s behinds. Goodbye, wondrous femininity!

― Laura H. (laurah), Thursday, 21 July 2005 06:17 (twenty years ago)

VI.16.15 (atrium of the House of Pinarius); 6842: If anyone does not believe in Venus, they should gaze at my girl friend

Ahhhh how lovely

prbably defecated upon her too....

― battlingspacemonkey (battlingspacemonkey), Thursday, 21 July 2005 08:00 (twenty years ago)

Nice:

VIII.2 (in the basilica); 1880: The man I am having dinner with is a barbarian.

V.5 (just outside the Vesuvius gate); 6641: Defecator, may everything turn out okay so that you can leave this place

VIII.2 (in the basilica); 1826: Phileros is a eunuch!

― Vichitravirya XI (Vichitravirya XI), Thursday, 21 July 2005 08:24 (twenty years ago)

VI.14.43 (atrium of a House of the Large Brothel); 1520: Blondie has taught me to hate dark-haired girls. I shall hat them, if I can, but I wouldn’t mind loving them. Pompeian Venus Fisica wrote this.

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 21 July 2005 08:29 (twenty years ago)

some things never change

VIII.2 (in the basilica); 1824: Let everyone one in love come and see. I want to break Venus’ ribs with clubs and cripple the goddess’ loins. If she can strike through my soft chest, then why can’t I smash her head with a club?

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 21 July 2005 08:30 (twenty years ago)

a smartass

VIII.2 (in the basilica); 1904: O walls, you have held up so much tedious graffiti that I am amazed that you have not already collapsed in ruin.

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 21 July 2005 08:31 (twenty years ago)

Hahaha the original ILXor!

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 21 July 2005 08:40 (twenty years ago)

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 21 July 2005 08:42 (twenty years ago)

Irrumator!

― Rum, Sodomy and the LAN (kate), Thursday, 21 July 2005 08:43 (twenty years ago)

these are so good.

a heartwarming story from Roman history.

Herculaneum (bar/inn joined to the maritime baths); 10675: Two friends were here. While they were, they had bad service in every way from a guy named Epaphroditus. They threw him out and spent 105 and half sestertii most agreeably on whores.

ROCK ON.

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 21 July 2005 08:43 (twenty years ago)

is 105 and a half sesterti a lot?

― battlingspacemonkey (battlingspacemonkey), Thursday, 21 July 2005 08:48 (twenty years ago)

Today our estimates suggest it is a most agreeable amount of whores

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 21 July 2005 08:52 (twenty years ago)

Theophilus, don’t perform oral sex on girls against the city wall like a dog

i remember reading that romans found the idea of oral sex incredibly amusing and absurd. the mouth was the fount of oratory, a noble and sacred orifice that should not be besmirched by contact with the base sexual organs. some oral sex paintings on a roman bath house that archaeologists thought were pornographic in purpose are now thought to be absurdist cartoons!

― grosvenor lucrece, Thursday, 21 July 2005 08:55 (twenty years ago)

http://www.sturmsoft.com/Writing/Images/AssistedSuicide.gif

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 21 July 2005 09:13 (twenty years ago)

OK that was totally in the wrong thread,. sorry.

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 21 July 2005 09:13 (twenty years ago)

Trayce can not tell her sandals from her toga.

Molius, 78 BC

― moley, Thursday, 21 July 2005 11:16 (twenty years ago)

I made fun of the volcano. what's the worst that can happen.

Stupidius, Pompei 78 BC.

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 21 July 2005 11:21 (twenty years ago)

This basillicus has been locked by il moderatus!

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 21 July 2005 11:25 (twenty years ago)

II.4.1 (bar; left of the door, near a picture of Mercury); 8475: Palmyra, the thirst-quencher

FOR THAT DEEP DOWN BODY THIRST

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 21 July 2005 12:50 (twenty years ago)

http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drc000/c018/c018215xlsb.jpg

― kingfish (Kingfish), Thursday, 21 July 2005 13:01 (twenty years ago)

VIII.2 (in the basilica); 1820: Chie, I hope your hemorrhoids rub together so much that they hurt worse than when they every have before!

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Thursday, 21 July 2005 13:01 (twenty years ago)

Are there any more pages of these?

― OLD SPICE® CHEMTRAILS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (ex machina), Thursday, 21 July 2005 14:56 (twenty years ago)

yeah if so please provide a link

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 21 July 2005 15:18 (twenty years ago)

VIII.2 (in the basilica); 1926: Epaphra is not good at ball games.

― Adam In Real Life (nordicskilla), Thursday, 21 July 2005 15:33 (twenty years ago)

Herculaneum (on the exterior wall of a house); 10619: Apollinaris, the doctor of the emperor Titus, defecated well here

It's nice to be good at something.

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Thursday, 21 July 2005 15:35 (twenty years ago)

Herculaneum (on a water distribution tower); 10488: Anyone who wants to defecate in this place is advised to move along. If you act contrary to this warning, you will have to pay a penalty. Children must pay [number missing] silver coins. Slaves will be beaten on their behinds.

but urinating is fine????

so the kids pay but the slaves get a treat?

― battlingspacemonkey (battlingspacemonkey), Thursday, 21 July 2005 15:47 (twenty years ago)

VII.9 (Eumachia Building, via della Abbondanza); 2048: Secundus likes to screw boys.

Secundus sure gets around.

― Leeeeeee (Leee), Monday, 1 August 2005 06:13 (twenty years ago)

VIII.7.6 (Inn of the Muledrivers; left of the door); 4957: We have wet the bed, host. I confess we have done wrong. If you want to know why, there was no chamber pot

― Leeeeeee (Leee), Monday, 1 August 2005 06:18 (twenty years ago)

boring bastard:

VII.1.40 (House of Caesius Blandus; in the peristyle of the House of Mars and Venus on the Street of the Augustales); 1714: It took 640 paces to walk back and forth between here and there ten times

life in ancient rome sounds awesome. sex death and shitting in the street

― ambrose (ambrose), Monday, 1 August 2005 13:59 (twenty years ago)

secundus is latin for logged out

― mark s (mark s), Monday, 1 August 2005 21:45 (twenty years ago)

VXIII.2 (in the basilica); 1966: I have defecated in my grandmothers orifice. GARV G

― ghetty green (eman), Tuesday, 2 August 2005 01:27 (twenty years ago)

six years pass...

"I Marcus am irresistable to all the girls. Apart from a few"

― The New Dirty Vicar, Thursday, 29 September 2011 15:43 (fourteen years ago)

People who YELP are scumbags.

― emil.y, Thursday, 29 September 2011 18:42 (fourteen years ago)

lol @ GARV G

― dayo, Thursday, 29 September 2011 22:17 (fourteen years ago)

Ha ha

― What does one wear to a summery execution? Linen? (Michael White), Thursday, 29 September 2011 22:19 (fourteen years ago)

Actually, I believe that the "amusing and absurd" part was the act of being penetrated. Being penetrated made you a lesser human being.

― Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Thursday, 29 September 2011 22:22 (fourteen years ago)

Aenean Randy: "Aliquam id perfici"

― Mark G, Friday, 30 September 2011 11:32 (fourteen years ago)

one amusing thing about Pompeii is the backed up queue of guided tours waiting to get into the brothel. And it isn't even a real brothel.

― The New Dirty Vicar, Friday, 30 September 2011 14:01 (fourteen years ago)

twelve years pass...

Link is a 404 now, a grievous loss for classical literature.

― Ella Minnow Picaresque (Leee), Monday, 1 July 2024 02:46 (one year ago)

Thankfully: https://web.archive.org/web/20050325064246/http://www.personal.kent.edu/~bkharvey/roman/classes/graffiti.htm

― Ella Minnow Picaresque (Leee), Monday, 1 July 2024 03:02 (one year ago)

Literally was about to post the same link. Thank goodness for the internet archive!

― octobeard, Monday, 1 July 2024 03:06 (one year ago)

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