This is the thread where we post terrifying stories that might discourage you from drinking (or, how to keep Ian R-M teetotaling for the rest of his life)

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I was reminded recently of one of the ladies in the laundromat up the street from my flat who told my mother a while ago that her son (who is my age) got drunk off a whole bottle of vodka and passed out on the couch. He woke up vomiting and the circulation to his leg had been cut off for a long while in the position he was sleeping in and it was coloured grey, and his leg and other body parts swelled up to three times their normal size and he was rushed to a hospital where they almost amputated his leg. Had he been asleep for another hour he probably would've died. Does anyone know of a worse drinking story then that to keep me from drinking permanently? I don't want to drink at all as it is, but I wouldn't mind keeping perfectly sober and clear-headed until death.

― Kitten, the body needs it, the body cries out for Ian Riese-Moraine! (Eastern Ma, Saturday, 23 July 2005 21:33 (twenty years ago)

should i drink another bottle of windshield wiper fluid?
i am freeling it
its like i am sitfffting her8e but i am driving with unimpaired vision
you guys have to try this serio{{{usly in ita()()==Dlian

― Marco Salvetti - world moustache champion (moustache), Saturday, 23 July 2005 22:11 (twenty years ago)

so you want a drink or sumthin'?

― Marco Salvetti - world moustache champion (moustache), Saturday, 23 July 2005 22:12 (twenty years ago)

not a drinker, huh?

― Marco Salvetti - world moustache champion (moustache), Saturday, 23 July 2005 22:12 (twenty years ago)

that's okay.

― Marco Salvetti - world moustache champion (moustache), Saturday, 23 July 2005 22:13 (twenty years ago)

marco forgives you.

― Marco Salvetti - world moustache champion (moustache), Saturday, 23 July 2005 22:13 (twenty years ago)

because he LOVES you.

― Marco Salvetti - world moustache champion (moustache), Saturday, 23 July 2005 22:13 (twenty years ago)

you know that, right baby?

― Marco Salvetti - world moustache champion (moustache), Saturday, 23 July 2005 22:13 (twenty years ago)

why don't we get outta here?

― Marco Salvetti - world moustache champion (moustache), Saturday, 23 July 2005 22:14 (twenty years ago)

i've got a sweet place uptown.

― Marco Salvetti - world moustache champion (moustache), Saturday, 23 July 2005 22:14 (twenty years ago)

fine corinthian leather.

― Marco Salvetti - world moustache champion (moustache), Saturday, 23 July 2005 22:14 (twenty years ago)

no??

― Marco Salvetti - world moustache champion (moustache), Saturday, 23 July 2005 22:14 (twenty years ago)

cunt!!

― Marco Salvetti - world moustache champion (moustache), Saturday, 23 July 2005 22:16 (twenty years ago)

i bought you that ring you're wearing!

― Marco Salvetti - world moustache champion (moustache), Saturday, 23 July 2005 22:16 (twenty years ago)

you think that shit was cheap?

― Marco Salvetti - world moustache champion (moustache), Saturday, 23 July 2005 22:16 (twenty years ago)

don't be such a fucking prude.

― Marco Salvetti - world moustache champion (moustache), Saturday, 23 July 2005 22:16 (twenty years ago)

you're doing this because of last night, aren't you.

― Marco Salvetti - world moustache champion (moustache), Saturday, 23 July 2005 22:17 (twenty years ago)

HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW BOLOGNA WOULD DO THAT TO YOUR SKIN.

― Marco Salvetti - world moustache champion (moustache), Saturday, 23 July 2005 22:17 (twenty years ago)

WHAT DO I WORK AT A DELI OR SOME SHIT?

― Marco Salvetti - world moustache champion (moustache), Saturday, 23 July 2005 22:17 (twenty years ago)

alright. i'm sorry.

― Marco Salvetti - world moustache champion (moustache), Saturday, 23 July 2005 22:17 (twenty years ago)

i went overboard.

― Marco Salvetti - world moustache champion (moustache), Saturday, 23 July 2005 22:18 (twenty years ago)

but it's only because i LOVE you, baby!

― Marco Salvetti - world moustache champion (moustache), Saturday, 23 July 2005 22:18 (twenty years ago)

i LOVE you!

― Marco Salvetti - world moustache champion (moustache), Saturday, 23 July 2005 22:18 (twenty years ago)

GOD.

― Marco Salvetti - world moustache champion (moustache), Saturday, 23 July 2005 22:19 (twenty years ago)

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE BEING SUCH A CUNT ABOUT THIS.

― Marco Salvetti - world moustache champion (moustache), Saturday, 23 July 2005 22:19 (twenty years ago)

IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE INTERWEB.

― Marco Salvetti - world moustache champion (moustache), Saturday, 23 July 2005 22:20 (twenty years ago)

LOOK. THEY'RE ALL WATCHING US.

― Marco Salvetti - world moustache champion (moustache), Saturday, 23 July 2005 22:20 (twenty years ago)

YOU'RE MAKING A SCENE.

― Marco Salvetti - world moustache champion (moustache), Saturday, 23 July 2005 22:20 (twenty years ago)

DAMN IT. FINE.

ATTENTION:

THE WEDDING IS OFF. FUCK THIS FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT CUNT THREAD AND FUCK ALL HER FISHEATING CUNT FUCKING LESBO FRIENDS.

PEACE BITCH.

― Marco Salvetti - world moustache champion (moustache), Saturday, 23 July 2005 22:21 (twenty years ago)

STOP CALLING ME YOU PSYCHO BITCH.

― Marco Salvetti - world moustache champion (moustache), Saturday, 23 July 2005 22:21 (twenty years ago)

― ?ÎÓDDDJHKHVBNM (eman), Saturday, 23 July 2005 22:32 (twenty years ago)

if you think you're boring, now, you'd be 1000 times worse, drunk.

― RJG (RJG), Saturday, 23 July 2005 22:34 (twenty years ago)

I would tell the story of the night I don't remember driving home, but I can't remember it. Also the night I vomited out of a moving vehicle - that I was driving. New Year's, weed + many shots of 101 = passed out on back vomiting, my girlfriend's wallet got stolen while trying to get me out of the house, etc.

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Saturday, 23 July 2005 23:09 (twenty years ago)

I broke my ex-girlfriend's record player (just by staggering around, not intentionally) and then almost started a fist fight with her new boyfriend (intentionally). I remember not one minute of this. (I also think I've told this story before.)

Also, drinking too much is really depressing.

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Saturday, 23 July 2005 23:20 (twenty years ago)

Marco, did you go through that exchange with an ex while drunk?

Mmmm, Jenny Agutter. "Seen that! Seen THAT."

Nah, I don't think I'm boring, but I may seem like it around people who don't inspire me. I'm scared of getting drunk though because there are so many abusive alkies in my family and that's stopped me from ever wanting to drink. My mother will ask me to take sips of drinks sometimes and I'll find them horrible because I can discern the alcohol in them and it's nauseating. Alcohol ruins drinks that would otherwise be lovely, like margaritas.

Also, last year, a schoolmate of mine asked me to try out this caffeinated water he had (it said that on the bottle), I took a swig, and immediately spat it out -- I had never tasted anything so vile in my life. I didn't know what the fuck it was and the schoolmate and his friend died laughing and after they regained their composures they informed me it was vodka. People are fucking crazy if they can drink that horrid fucking shit.

― Kitten, the body needs it, the body cries out for Ian Riese-Moraine! (Eastern Ma, Saturday, 23 July 2005 23:31 (twenty years ago)

most people (outside of binge-drinking illegal age) don't drink vodka straight.

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Saturday, 23 July 2005 23:40 (twenty years ago)

Except in the former Soviet Union.

― Rockist_Scientist (RSLaRue), Saturday, 23 July 2005 23:44 (twenty years ago)

yeah, i never ever drink vodka straight and i know plenty of seasoned drinkers who strongly dislike it in any form. also if they were only eighteen (your age, right?), i imagine they were drinking georgi or some other very cheap, easily obtainable (and fouuuuuuul) vodka.

one girl in my high school tried pulling the vodka-in-a-water-bottle trick and ended up passing out in her math class.

― joseph (joseph), Saturday, 23 July 2005 23:52 (twenty years ago)

much better to do the 'bourbon in an apple juice bottle' trick.

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Saturday, 23 July 2005 23:55 (twenty years ago)

The only time I ever drank so much* that I was sick the day after, I passed out while walking home from the train station. (I was living with my father in the suburbs at the time.) I don't know how long I was out (probably not very long). Maybe I'm lucky I made it home. (It's a good thing someone at the party I was coming from said something like, "I think you'd better get home. You've had to much to drink.") Anyhow, I hate getting throwing up, so doing that the next day made me very motivated about not getting that far gone again. Sorry, this is no doubt not helpful, but your question made me think of that.

*Whiskey. Whiskey plus probably some vodka and maybe some beer.

― Rockist_Scientist (RSLaRue), Saturday, 23 July 2005 23:57 (twenty years ago)

Actually, there is a litany of awful things I've done while piss drunk.

1) Opened the window next to my bed and puked out the window (that's a really vivid memory for some reason)
2) Hit a girl. No, not like that. I was at a party, and she smacked me playfully, and I thought I was being playful back, but I was too drunk to judge my punch, apparently. She goes, "Shit, dude!" and I was so embarrassed that I left. Also a vivid memory. I was horrified at myself.
3) While trying to get a key into a lock, fell right into the brick doorframe face-first. Woke up with a six-inch scab right down the middle of my face.
4) After a bunch of jello shots, my friend comes into the room and says, "Time to go, man." And I yell back at him, "I'm not a child!" I have no idea what that meant.

Anyway. Yeah, my early twenties were fun, but not really.

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Sunday, 24 July 2005 00:37 (twenty years ago)

Jesus... thank God I'm not that bad at drinking anymore.

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Sunday, 24 July 2005 00:38 (twenty years ago)

Now I just tell people a bunch of personal shit that they don't care about.

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Sunday, 24 July 2005 00:38 (twenty years ago)

I've passed out, thrown up, fallen against a chair resulting in a GIGANTIC black bruise I didnt recall getting the next day, had memory blackouts, fallen onto my arse in front of everyone at a club, spilt drink all over people, and more than once spent the whole next day (seriously til like, 9pm) being so violently ill I thought I'd have to call an ambulance.

I am not proud of any of this, and I have to say that booze and weed especially dont mix well at all.

I still drink far too much, and have probably damaged my liver, but I dont get nastily roaringly DRUNK anymore. I'm too scared of what'll happen.

― it isnt trayce (trayce), Sunday, 24 July 2005 00:45 (twenty years ago)

I dont get nastily roaringly DRUNK anymore

Yeah, same here. I care about myself way more than I used to.

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Sunday, 24 July 2005 00:49 (twenty years ago)

I have a real problem with getting disorientated and lost when I get drunk these days. Never used to happen. Now if I have to get home on my own, I'll get hopelessly lost and wander the streets for hours. I'm currently trying to blame this on Prozac, as I never experienced this before I started taking it. Maybe I'm just getting old.

― Colonel Poo (Colonel Poo), Sunday, 24 July 2005 00:53 (twenty years ago)

Prozac makes you dysfunctional if you drink, from what I hear. Also, drunk much faster. You're not really supposed to drink at all on that shit.

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Sunday, 24 July 2005 00:55 (twenty years ago)

I don't drink to vomiting drunkenness anymore because my sinuses are built so that spew fills my sinus cavity and comes out my nose as well as my mouth. Really gross. I only ever got THAT drunk two or three times before learning my lesson. I like to reach that state between buzzed and drunk and hold it there.

― Truckdrivin' Buddha (Rock Hardy), Sunday, 24 July 2005 00:56 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, that's my goal, too.

You puke out your nose? Every time? That sounds horrible.

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Sunday, 24 July 2005 00:59 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, I can't take my drink very well these days. It's a problem, because I'm used to being able to sink 10 pints and hardly bat an eyelid. But now, I have 7 or 8 and I'm all over the place. I lost my glasses a couple of days ago. Luckily I needed to replace them anyway because they were falling apart.

But because I'm used to being able to drink quickly and now I can't, I'm worried about my lack of control.

― Colonel Poo (Colonel Poo), Sunday, 24 July 2005 00:59 (twenty years ago)

Dude, just learn to drink half of what you used to and get the same amount of drunk.

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Sunday, 24 July 2005 01:00 (twenty years ago)

Every time. I'm also not fond of food poisoning and stomach flu. (xxp)

― Truckdrivin' Buddha (Rock Hardy), Sunday, 24 July 2005 01:02 (twenty years ago)

Haha I'm trying. It's not working...

I'm currently feeling like I don't need Prozac any more (I've been taking it for over 2 years) but depression is all over my family so I think it's genetic. My doctor recommended I never stop taking it.

The problem is I really like drinking. A lot.

― Colonel Poo (Colonel Poo), Sunday, 24 July 2005 01:03 (twenty years ago)

Don't necessarily do what your doctor says. Prozac, at its best, is a crutch when you need it and a hinderance when you don't. If you're not depressed anymore, try laying off of it for a month. See what happens.

However, the fact that you like to drink a lot could be part of your depression.

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Sunday, 24 July 2005 01:08 (twenty years ago)

Argh I know just what you mean Cl Poo, me too :( Kenan's right tho - try halving yr amounts. Ive taken to pouring myself a 3rd-glass of wine and topping it up with water or soda. So used to that now I get knocked sideways if I drink full real glasses of wine, heh :/

― Trayce (trayce), Sunday, 24 July 2005 01:15 (twenty years ago)

It's difficult to accomplish this practically. When you're in the pub and people are buying you pints, you can't really ask for a shandy. I'm going to a stag do next weekend, which is what's making me more worried about this. I'm even deliberately drinking a lot this weekend as a sort of practice for it! After that I'm going to try hard not to drink much for a while, the only other night I have coming up is my birthday on Aug 6th (29, ugh).

― Colonel Poo (Colonel Poo), Sunday, 24 July 2005 01:25 (twenty years ago)

vodka should only be drunk straight

possibly chased with ornage juice

never mixed. urgh!

― ambrose (ambrose), Sunday, 24 July 2005 02:12 (twenty years ago)

Vodka is a terrible thing indeed. I quit drinking it straight about 8 years ago. Definitely have no interest in going back. It made me start throwing things around (though thankfully not at people) - my walkman, my shoe...I don't even mess with hard liquor now.

Also vodka tastes like hair spray.

― Hydrochloric Shaved Weirds (Bimble...), Sunday, 24 July 2005 02:34 (twenty years ago)

No it doesn't. It tastes like alcohol.

Do you drink hairspray often?

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Sunday, 24 July 2005 02:43 (twenty years ago)

vodka is great! and good vodka can and should be drunk straight. maybe an ice cube.

― s1ocki (slutsky), Sunday, 24 July 2005 02:47 (twenty years ago)

Come on - name another alcoholic drink that tastes as vile as vodka straight!

Also I think if you're the sort that grows up around a lot of alkies then you probably shouldn't drink, but I realize that can come across condescending or whatever.

― Hydrochloric Shaved Weirds (Bimble...), Sunday, 24 July 2005 02:49 (twenty years ago)

uhh, peach schnapps?

― s1ocki (slutsky), Sunday, 24 July 2005 02:51 (twenty years ago)

Hahahaha. Okay, but that's a sickly sweet taste. Totally different kind of "yuck" than vodka straight.

― Hydrochloric Shaved Weirds (Bimble...), Sunday, 24 July 2005 02:53 (twenty years ago)

OH SCHNAPPS

― s1ocki (slutsky), Sunday, 24 July 2005 02:55 (twenty years ago)

Good straight vodka is the cleanest liquor you can get, and the easiest on your liver (since it only has to process alcohol, not all the the crap that's usually in liquor). If straight (decent) vodka tastes bad to you, that's because you don't like the taste of alcohol. And that's fine, more power to you and all, but try drinking straight Jim Beam sometimes. Let's see how much you can *really* be nauseated by liquor.

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Sunday, 24 July 2005 03:26 (twenty years ago)

BTW: I love Jim Beam. It's also the nastiest thing I've ever willingly drahk a large amount of.

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Sunday, 24 July 2005 03:28 (twenty years ago)

Jagermeister is gross, too, to be honest. I used to like coffee flavoured brandy with milk but I can't stand that now either.

And everclear is to be avoided at all costs. Be careful - that punch at the party might be a lot stronger than you think it is. You could have a splitting headache for days, and you have been warned.

― Hydrochloric Shaved Weirds (Bimble...), Sunday, 24 July 2005 04:01 (twenty years ago)

Jagermeister... Everclear... what is this? Amateur hour?

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Sunday, 24 July 2005 04:04 (twenty years ago)

Vodka isn't very good. I prefer gin. But then again, I hardly ever drink hard liquor period. I pretty much stick to beer and wine, which is fine with me.

― jaymc (jaymc), Sunday, 24 July 2005 04:13 (twenty years ago)

Ian, btw, I had absolutely no interest in alcohol when I was your age, and once I got to college spent the first three years sober except for the rare Lynchburg Lemonade or half-pint of hard cider. Then someone got me drunk on red wine and Guinness in Edinburg, Scotland, and I realized it was not a bad thing at all. Well, actually I puked all over the floor of the hostel I was staying at, but the pub band covering the Proclaimers that night sounded GREAT.

― jaymc (jaymc), Sunday, 24 July 2005 04:17 (twenty years ago)

Edinburgh, sorry.

― jaymc (jaymc), Sunday, 24 July 2005 04:17 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, I didn't drink alcohol until I was in college, either. And then my girlfriend gave me blackberry schnapps by the bucketful one night and I puked out the window. Difficulty: screen was in the window. The smaller chunks blew through, sorta sprayed the snow outside like a splatter painting. And a buncha dinner 'n' shit stuck inside the screen, which I had to clean out with a toothbrush.

Fucking nasty.

― Remy (x Jeremy), Sunday, 24 July 2005 04:20 (twenty years ago)

Straight vodka is great. I have Russian or Polish neighbors, they keep switching what they tell me, and they are always giving me shots of vodka over the fence. Ice cold, dirty vodka martinis or infused vodkas that you can actually see the vats of the crap floating around in it, it's the way to go.

― Mendoza Lineman (Carey), Sunday, 24 July 2005 04:21 (twenty years ago)

I drink vodka straight. I've never had a problem with it. Except that one time I added gin to the equation.

― Melissa W (Melissa W), Sunday, 24 July 2005 04:25 (twenty years ago)

warm banana schnapps was the worst alcohol I ever tried straight.

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Sunday, 24 July 2005 04:29 (twenty years ago)

Hahaha, banana shots are our traditional "bad idea" shots.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Sunday, 24 July 2005 05:08 (twenty years ago)

grey goose or belvedere vodka straight = da bommmmmb

― ?ÎÓDDDJHKHVBNM (eman), Sunday, 24 July 2005 05:27 (twenty years ago)

Why don't you want to experience drunkenness, Ian? Maybe you'd really enjoy it. Maybe it will enrich your life like it has mine.

When I get drunk, I have a laugh. Then I sleep, wake up and go about the rest of my week. No horror stories here.

― Danny L, Sunday, 24 July 2005 05:50 (twenty years ago)

ANOTHER TRUE STORY

New Years Eve 1999: me and a bunch of friends went camping and drinking to a lodge in the middle of a forest. At small hours I was getting very tired, so I decided to go to sleep. Then I noticed that a friend who was lying beside me wasn't looking too good - she was about to barf. I saw a bucket with a lid nearby, so I gave it to her. She barfed in it. Not giving it a second thought, I closed the lid and put the bucket back to where I found it.

At some point, I woke up when someone said "Tuomas, do you want some tea?" I thought about it, but decided I was too tired to get up, so I continued to sleep.

I woke up in the morning and went to the camp fire. My friends were looking kinda sick, so I asked what's the matter. It turns out the bucket the girl had barfed in was were our water supply had been. My friends had decided to make some tea, but it was dark in there, so they didn't notice the vomit in the water. Only after they'd drank their tea someone had said "this tea sure tastes weird", and the truth had been revealed. Naturally, most of them went and barfed themselves.

Although this was all my fault, I couldn't stop laughing...

-- Tuomas (tuomas.alh...), April 16th, 2003.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Sunday, 24 July 2005 08:23 (twenty years ago)

During the same night, I slept using my jacket as a pillow, only I was a bit too close the fireplace, and when I woke up the next morning, my jacket had melted. Thank god it hadn't melted into my hair.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Sunday, 24 July 2005 08:28 (twenty years ago)

Has anyone here tried the "improve cheap vodka by putting it through a Britta filter" trick?

― Truckdrivin' Buddha (Rock Hardy), Sunday, 24 July 2005 11:47 (twenty years ago)

this thread is outrageous. vodka and beam straight are both ok

― 006 (thoia), Sunday, 24 July 2005 12:20 (twenty years ago)

When you're in the pub and people are buying you pints, you can't really ask for a shandy.

Um, why not?

― Markelby (Mark C), Sunday, 24 July 2005 12:28 (twenty years ago)

Also vodka tastes like hair spray.
-- Hydrochloric Shaved Weirds (bimble87...), July 24th, 2005 11:34 PM.
No it doesn't. It tastes like alcohol.
Do you drink hairspray often?

-- Paunchy Stratego (fluxion2...), July 24th, 2005 11:43 PM.

You know, it does taste like hairspray infused with alcohol! And yes, I know what hairspray tastes like because I use ridiculous quantities of it and it's bound to end up on your lips if you're not careful.

It's not that I really want to get drunk, but I'm afraid of becoming as violent as my father and grandfathers and various other relatives of mine. They've nearly killed people in drunken rages and I don't want a part of it. There are a few other underlying reasons, too, that are a bit more controversial/potentially WTF and you'd all consider me even crazier for it, and so I won't say why.

― Kitten, the body needs it, the body cries out for Ian Riese-Moraine! (Eastern Ma, Sunday, 24 July 2005 13:28 (twenty years ago)

A friend of my parents died after choking in her vomit (while passed out).

My gran kept drinking throughout pregnancy. As a result my dad was infertile at a very young age - about 21, just after fathering(?) me. (A doctor asked him if his mother had drunk... That's the way he found out.)

An acquaintance is in a wheelchair because of her drinking problem. She stopped eating more or less, so she's a... not walking... skeleton.

― nathalie's body's designed for two (stevie nixed), Sunday, 24 July 2005 13:38 (twenty years ago)

I have only one really awful story.

Earlier this summer, while way too drunk, I had a threesome with another guy and a girl. The girl is a pretty close friend and the guy was a coworker (but has since quit). Afterwards, it was extremely awkward facing both of them.

At one point in the night I was standing on her apartment balcony, naked, puking over the side.

I guess it doesn't sound so terrible, but it really was. Sex with people you don't want to have sex with is disagreeable.

― I know I'm logged in but damn it (modestmickey), Sunday, 24 July 2005 13:43 (twenty years ago)

no standards internet

i was at the beach today and i saw this fat tanned man walk up and start flirting with this squat little hobbit girl

it was fantastic

― Marco Salvetti (moustache), Sunday, 24 July 2005 13:49 (twenty years ago)

i go to the beach a lot so i probably smell like the beach but i am unsure as my moustache is in the way of my nostrils

i am pretty sure i smell fantastic though

― Marco Salvetti (moustache), Sunday, 24 July 2005 13:51 (twenty years ago)

A friend of mine got some whiskey from a dodgy offie after an all day bender and went round a mate's house. He remembers nothing of subsequent events except being wrestled to the ground and punched in the face by his mate's dad at about three in the morning - and this is a normal, peacable, cuddly dad by all accounts. We still don't know quite what transpired, but we think he may have called the dad a cunt at some point.

― chap who would dare to thwart the revolution (chap), Sunday, 24 July 2005 13:54 (twenty years ago)

I once threw up in a cab, whilst on a date.

It wasn't our first date, but it was our last.

― shookout (shookout), Sunday, 24 July 2005 13:54 (twenty years ago)

i've been sick out of windows, into pillowcases, outside a 24-hour shop and on my girlfriend in the back of a cab. i've punched out one pane of glass (not a scratch) and one mirror (nearly lost the use of a finger). i've pulled in a club and then forgotten to go home with the girl; i've had a gun pointed at me; i've called my sleeping flatmates "cunts" very loudly at four o'clock in the morning. i've woken up with a bucket on my head. i've run round pontins at camber sands shouting "rock and roll!" and i've fallen off a chair and cracked my head open while trying to skin up.

these are just the incidents that spring immediately to mind. recently i made the decision to cut down on the ol' booze a bit. sometimes it makes you a bit of a twat.

still: i'd be lying if i said i hadn't had fun.

(NB: three of the above adventures, which took place in the mid-1990s, involve one particular fellow ILXor. another incident was caught on camera by a different ILXor; if the evidence turns up here, he will die painfully with the imprint of a boot on his testicles.)

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Sunday, 24 July 2005 17:50 (twenty years ago)

Hairspray and vodka both contain alcohol, people.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Sunday, 24 July 2005 19:03 (twenty years ago)

Garu G tells me that he first pooed in his nan's flange after they both got drunk together.

― Kitten, the body needs it, the body cries out for Ian Riese-Moraine! (Eastern Ma, Monday, 25 July 2005 00:38 (twenty years ago)

This thread needs more Marco.

― The Ghost of No One Is Trying To Make You Drink, Ian (Dan Perry), Monday, 25 July 2005 02:24 (twenty years ago)

Hairspray and vodka both contain alcohol, people.

Ha ha. All too true.

Ian, you're a great guy. Just play the entire Cocteau Twins discography 12 times and you'll be fine. :)

Grimly, I much appreciate your contribution here as well. Cheers.

― Hydrochloric Shaved Weirds (Bimble...), Monday, 25 July 2005 04:46 (twenty years ago)

Ian I like to think also that its possible to enjoy a drink without getting drunk, let alone being aggressive or violent :)

That said, if you dont like or enjoy the taste, dont feel bad about not wanting to indulge. I daresay in this day and age people'd probably find that refreshing TBH. I know I envy people who dont drink or smoke and arent stressed out or anything, I really do.

(the moral: DONT use bad for you shit to deal with stress...)

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 25 July 2005 04:53 (twenty years ago)

Enough years of drinking and you shall be required to post once a day (or more) to Ask A Drunk.

What's worse, you shall be required to read all other postings to that forum. Your own postings you may dispense with reading. Small blessing.

― Aimless (Aimless), Monday, 25 July 2005 05:00 (twenty years ago)

Teehee, merci to all of you.

― Kitten, the body needs it, the body cries out for Ian Riese-Moraine! (Eastern Ma, Monday, 25 July 2005 15:27 (twenty years ago)

I did the Riverdance after having a lot of vodka. That's the worst I am prepared to admit to.

― Raston Warrior Robot (alix), Monday, 25 July 2005 15:40 (twenty years ago)

I married Britney. I'm not proud. It was only for 56 hours tho and then we had it annulled. She still calls and texts but I don't think it's fair on weasel boy so I've not replied.

I also created taxation. I'm so sorry.

― Kv_nol (Kv_nol), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 08:38 (twenty years ago)

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