when you go to take a pee while you're really drunk, what sort of shit do you think about?

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I usually think Whoa, I'm drunk!

― mmm, Monday, 25 July 2005 01:53 (twenty years ago)

usally that my pee is a big eager racehorse-size bolt of hot piss. in the biggest and best condition it can ever be. when peeing out several beers, that is when pee shines.

― ath (ath), Monday, 25 July 2005 01:57 (twenty years ago)

That the solution to world terrorism is for everybody to snoop in each others' luggage during 10 minute subway rides.

― TOMBOT, Monday, 25 July 2005 17:25 (twenty years ago)

That I'm losing weight right at that minute. Coupla pounds, if it's a nice long pee.

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Monday, 25 July 2005 17:29 (twenty years ago)

Either, Not peeing on the reservoir again or 'Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!'

― M. White (Miguelito), Monday, 25 July 2005 17:33 (twenty years ago)

Were they indefinitely inactive?
At Stephen's suggestion, at Bloom's instigation both, first Stephen, then Bloom, in penumbra urinated, their sides contiguous, their organs of micturition reciprocally rendered invisible by manual circumposition, their gazes, first Bloom's, then Stephen's, elevated to the projected luminous and semiluminous shadow.

Similarly?
The trajectories of their, first sequent, then simultaneous, urinations were dissimilar: Bloom's longer, less irruent, in the incomplete form of the bifurcated penultimate alphabetical letter who in his ultimate year at High School (1880) had been capable of attaining the point of greatest altitude against the whole concurrent strength of the institution, 210 scholars: Stephen's higher, more sibilant, who in the ultimate hours of the previous day had augmented by diuretic consumption an insistent vesical pressure.

What different problems presented themselves to each concerning the invisible audible collateral organ of the other?
To Bloom: the problems of irritability, tumescence, rigidity, reactivity, dimension, sanitariness, pelosity. To Stephen: the problem of the sacerdotal integrity of Jesus circumcised (1st January, holiday of obligation to hear mass and abstain from unnecessary servile work) and the problem as to whether the divine prepuce, the carnal bridal ring of the holy Roman catholic apostolic church, conserved in Calcata, were deserving of the simple hyperduly or of the fourth degree of latria accorded to the abscission of such divine excrescences as hair and toenails.

― Josh (Josh), Monday, 25 July 2005 17:34 (twenty years ago)

I think about how I need to stop swaying.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Monday, 25 July 2005 17:35 (twenty years ago)

DON'T FALL DOWN DON'T FALL DOWN DON'T FALL DOWN DON'T FALL DOWN DON'T EVEN LOOK AT THE FLOOR EW WHAT IS THAT SHIT DON'T FALL DOWN DON'T FALL DOWN JIGGLE JIGGLE AWAY

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 25 July 2005 17:36 (twenty years ago)

OH SHIT...AIM HIGHER

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 25 July 2005 17:36 (twenty years ago)

As of late, when I'm drunk and peeing at a bar, I think of ways to destroy the advertising that's inevitably hanging above the toilet. Usually the ol' Swiss Army Knife does the trick.

― dan m (OutDatWay), Monday, 25 July 2005 17:39 (twenty years ago)

I usually just think about how great I feel. The invincible, ballsy, careless & carefree pee of the drunk.

― Drunken Pee, Monday, 25 July 2005 17:42 (twenty years ago)

sometimes i think damn, this is taking forever.
sometimes i think that by peeing out all this beer i can go out there and have a fresh start.

― andrew m. (andrewmorgan), Monday, 25 July 2005 17:43 (twenty years ago)

I think the last notable thing I drunkenly thought while urinating was "oh dear, it appears that some inconsiderate clubgoer done shit into this urinal, and now I am pissing onto it and turning it into a brown mush. How very unpleasant."

― Michael Annoyman (Ferg), Monday, 25 July 2005 17:46 (twenty years ago)

sometimes i think damn, this is taking forever.

I always do that when I'm high on pot. I'm like, "This is the looooongest pee ever! Wow, this is kinda weird!"

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Monday, 25 July 2005 17:52 (twenty years ago)

otm
if I'm still at the bar/house/club I'm just swaying thinking how wonderful life is, sometimes cocking my head back ala Homer Simpson and laughing at nothing in particular
if I'm getting up out of bed from a drunken coma to take a piss I just stand there dreading that weird thing where all the blood seems to race out of your head that makes you faint for a half a second or makes your legs give out. It never occurs to me to sit down to pee, to my credit.

― tremendoid (tremendoid), Monday, 25 July 2005 18:16 (twenty years ago)

"It would be nice to rest my head against the wall, but I don't want to breathe 100% urinal fumes."

― Truckdrivin' Buddha (Rock Hardy), Monday, 25 July 2005 18:22 (twenty years ago)

hm, am I the first girl?

I usually don't get that drunk unless I'm at a party and have been standing around chatting and drinking forever, so it's usually these two things at once:
"omg how nice to sit down I didn't realize I was so tired"
"crap, now that I've taken this first pee I'll have to pee every five minutes from now on"

― teeny (teeny), Monday, 25 July 2005 18:38 (twenty years ago)

ah, teeny. the old open the floodgates thing. many girls i've met have noted this.

― andrew m. (andrewmorgan), Monday, 25 July 2005 18:41 (twenty years ago)

i usually think: "thank fuck i've made it to the toilet in time."

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Monday, 25 July 2005 19:16 (twenty years ago)

"omg how nice to sit down I didn't realize I was so tired"

I always use the cubicle rather than the urinal, for exactly this reason.

― JimD (JimD), Monday, 25 July 2005 20:34 (twenty years ago)

In the sort of places where I sometimes find myself intoxicated, I would NEVER sit down.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Monday, 25 July 2005 21:26 (twenty years ago)

"once you break the seal..."

"boy, I needed to sit down"

"I wonder if I can stand up?"

"I hope I'm not showing my ass..."

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 25 July 2005 21:27 (twenty years ago)

I ALWAYS think of ILX threads I could start which are ALWAYS about some form of bathroom practice, problem or etiquette.

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 25 July 2005 21:48 (twenty years ago)

nickalicious + andrew m = pullapartgirl

― pullapartgirl (pullapartgirl), Monday, 25 July 2005 22:15 (twenty years ago)

"I wonder if I'll have to be while I'm fucking later?"

― Tumililingan (ex machina), Monday, 25 July 2005 22:22 (twenty years ago)

You will. You will need, certainly, to exist.

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Monday, 25 July 2005 22:24 (twenty years ago)

s/be/pee/

I make the typos when I am thinking drunk too!

― Tumililingan (ex machina), Monday, 25 July 2005 22:26 (twenty years ago)

i always think of the scene in "the naked gun" where leslie nielson is peeing for a really long time, and a microphone is picking up the sound and transmitting it to a court room, then he farts and goes "whooops!"

― cutty (mcutt), Monday, 25 July 2005 22:26 (twenty years ago)

Markelby yr a sick sicko

― sunny successor (he hates my guts, we had a fight) (katharine), Monday, 25 July 2005 22:29 (twenty years ago)

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