a very smart/cool ex of mine has been spending the last few years dating a CRASHING BORE

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as far as i can tell, this new gf has no interests of her own and just tends to go along with whatever he likes and/or wants to do. i guess he likes her cuz she's sort of indie-looking and has a goofy smile, and she's "nice" in a way he can bring home to mom, but that's about it as far as her exhibiting any signs of life.

this thread isn't about pop culture dick-measuring contests, or even about why someone would want to go out with (shockah) a nice person. or maybe it is. i'm nice, and i'm not braindead. what's wrong with me?? oh, i'm better looking too, by leaps and bounds. (and humble, i might add.)

― not a crashing bore, Tuesday, 26 July 2005 13:21 (twenty years ago)

So did you have anal sex with him?

― Tumililingan (ex machina), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 13:25 (twenty years ago)

sounds like you have a huge crush on your friend? oh no...

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 13:25 (twenty years ago)

i'd like to date a crashing bore

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 13:26 (twenty years ago)

maybe losing in a dick-measuring contest is what made the girl quite desirable.

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 13:27 (twenty years ago)

?? oh, i'm better looking too, by leaps and bounds. (and humble, i might add.)

pics, pls?

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 13:28 (twenty years ago)

did i have anal sex with him? yeah, and neither of us was that into it. do i have a crush on him? yeah, and then i think better of it.

― not a crashing bore, Tuesday, 26 July 2005 13:29 (twenty years ago)

I wonder what logged out is doing right now...

― N_RQ, Tuesday, 26 July 2005 13:30 (twenty years ago)

a very smart/cool ex of mine has been spending the last few years dating a CRASHING BORE
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

as far as i can tell, this new gf has no interests of her own

is a gf still a "new gf" if you've been spending the last few years dating her?

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 13:30 (twenty years ago)

So is the crashing bore A) more or B) less boring than a fleshlight?

― geyser muffler and a quarter (Dave225), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 13:30 (twenty years ago)

Maybe you have an ugly asshole? xpost.

jahahaha

― Tumililingan (ex machina), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 13:31 (twenty years ago)

She's probably got one of those supertight, supertidy 'cheeseburger' style funboxes that a lot of really average looking girls have. Don't trip out and get labia reduction surgery or anything, guys are pigs so you shouldn't sweat it.

― LeCoq (LeCoq), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 13:31 (twenty years ago)

lecoq is prolly otm here, altho i have no way of verifying it.

― not a crashing bore, Tuesday, 26 July 2005 13:35 (twenty years ago)

i mean i could ask...

― not a crashing bore, Tuesday, 26 July 2005 13:36 (twenty years ago)

It seems every time LeCoq posts, I learn something I didn't even realize I needed to know. It's seriously amazing.

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 13:43 (twenty years ago)

post a picture of your coochie

― Tumililingan (ex machina), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 13:44 (twenty years ago)

http://digicollage.com/1215/cheeseburger.jpg

― N_Rq, Tuesday, 26 July 2005 13:46 (twenty years ago)

rude, jon

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 13:47 (twenty years ago)

didn't say please!

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 13:47 (twenty years ago)

http://www.pablotron.org/gallery/coochie_coo/coochie_coo.jpeg

― not a crashing coochie, Tuesday, 26 July 2005 13:47 (twenty years ago)

http://www.moviecitygeek.com/arrays/images/2003/core/core2.jpg
WHAT'S THIS YOU SAY ABOUT A CRASHING BORE!?!?!

― TRILLIONS OF MILES BELOW THE EARTH'S SURFACE (nickalicious), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 13:49 (twenty years ago)

omg where's that picture of the young noize dudes!!?

xpost

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 13:50 (twenty years ago)

FLAPS DOWN!

― Tumililingan (ex machina), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 13:50 (twenty years ago)

i'm nice, and i'm not braindead. what's wrong with me?? oh, i'm better looking too, by leaps and bounds.

Maybe he was looking for someone boring and you were just too eeeexciiiittttiiing.

post a picture of your coochie

http://www.lomblad.net/rob/archives/blogimages/Cheeseburger-boy.jpg

My husband eating my cheeseburger coochie.

― nathalie's body's designed for two (stevie nixed), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 13:51 (twenty years ago)

altho i have no way of verifying it.

http://shermix.free.fr/videos.php?id=shark

― fe zaffe (fezaffe), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 13:58 (twenty years ago)

I can't wait 'til that guy and his crew get whacked.

― M. White (Miguelito), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 14:29 (twenty years ago)

surprise! you are in a jane austen novel! surprise!

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 18:04 (twenty years ago)

i've seen this happen to others. in one case, she broke up with deadbeat cool punk funny crazy and settled in with quiet predictable churchboy supreme. breeder syndromes in this case.

my big college relationship ex moved away and married a drug cop. not that i was a dealer or something. but she used drag MY straight edge punk ass to raves so...
m.

― msp (mspa), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 18:21 (twenty years ago)

wait, what is a cheeseburger style funbox?

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 18:24 (twenty years ago)

I would imagine a vagina shaped like a mcDonald's cheesburger held vertical, i. e. no wild n crazy labia minora shaped like butterflies or what have you

― Boring Satanic Space Jazz (sexyDancer), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 18:27 (twenty years ago)

Also, it comes with a Pocahontas action figure.

― Draw Tipsy to see if you give a shit about art (Dave225), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 18:29 (twenty years ago)

OH MY GOD HE'S YOUR FUCKING EX GET OVER IT

$10 says that the reason this girl comes off as a "crashing bore" around you is because you're still in love with your SEVERAL YEARS AGO relationship and act like a TOTAL CUNTBURGER when she is in your presence, so she acts VERY BORING AND QUIET around you BECAUSE YOU ARE A CUNTBURGER TOWARDS HER cos you are IN LOVE WITH THIS DUDE WHO YOU BROKE UP WITH FOREVER AGO.

I don't even hang out with any of my exes! People that is the way! Don't ever, ever speak to them again! Move on with your lives!

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 20:06 (twenty years ago)

oh my god sorry I have just heard waaaay too much conversation the past week or two about people's fucking exes. I don't even know if my exes are still living! That's how it should be!

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 20:07 (twenty years ago)

Ally is right, again.

― estela (estela), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 20:13 (twenty years ago)

I'm going through nicotene withdrawal so I'm a little more forceful than I should be, but I am glad you see my point through the shouty.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 20:17 (twenty years ago)

woo. b-b-but what if your ex(es) are all still very much a part of your group of friends, ally? are you really meant to cut off your entire social gang, just cos you used to go out with some of 'em? my take: if current squeeze has issues with former squeezes still occasionally in the vicinity, that's current squeeze's issue, no?

i think it's a positive thing, and ought to reflect well on the person still-friends-with-ex, UNLESS s/he is only doing so in the vain hope of getting back with them at some popint, in which case, ally, you're bang on!

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 20:51 (twenty years ago)

I don't think it's so bad to keep in touch with old exes, but thats probably because I've been able to repress any memories of sexual encounters with any of them, making everything a whole lot less uncomfortable.

― In the springtime of the year / Kate (papa november), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 20:54 (twenty years ago)

Ally otm, and not just because I really like the word 'cuntburger'.

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 20:55 (twenty years ago)

Yeah.

― Cuntburger-style funbox? (Eastern Mantra), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 21:07 (twenty years ago)

but that's what I'm saying...it sounds hardcore like this is a case of her pining after her ex, because I mean otherwise...why bang on about the whole "what's wrong with ME? I'm so much more interesting than her and prettier than her..." angle? I mean Charlie what you're saying about if current gf has problem with ex gf still being friends with bf, well that can reflect badly on the current, yeah, something she would need to get over. But if ex gf is quite nasty and gives off vibes that she thinks she's "better" than you, than it's pretty freaking understandible that that the current would have issues with the ex!

NB I have never, ever met any of my bf/gf's exes and in the rare circumstance that we met thru mutual friends, the mutual friends all kind of chose me over the person I broke up with. This is mainly cos I used to go out with total cockburglers.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 21:09 (twenty years ago)

― Cuntburgers and cockburglars to GO! Fries come in regular and crepuscular size (, Tuesday, 26 July 2005 21:13 (twenty years ago)

-- not a crashing bore (nop...), July 26th, 2005 10:21 AM.

yes you are. yessireebobarino. booooooorrrriiiiiing ZzZzZZzzZZzz

― ghetty green (eman), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 21:22 (twenty years ago)

what's wrong with thinking you're better than someone else? all men are not created equal. who says you have to be friends with the person you think you're better than?

― noise dude, you're stepping on my mystique (Jody Beth Rosen), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 00:50 (twenty years ago)

also i find it hilarious that suddenly the whole of ilx believes that snobbery and condescension and dick-measuring are A BAD THING.

― noise dude, you're stepping on my mystique (Jody Beth Rosen), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 00:54 (twenty years ago)

Allyzay sounds a lot like one of my ex-girlfriends. so obviously, im terribly interested.

― JD from CDepot, Wednesday, 27 July 2005 04:26 (twenty years ago)

what's wrong with thinking you're better than someone else?

It's not a bad thing at all, but she's saying her ex has now downgraded himself (?). She doesn't know what the attraction is. THe new girl may seem boring to her, but it apparently does not for the ex. Anyway, WHY BOTHER? It's over! Passe. Move on. If you're better, you'll have no problem finding someone new. :-)

― nathalie's body's designed for two (stevie nixed), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 06:07 (twenty years ago)

I wonder how often the mods look at "logged out" ip addresses.......

― Tumililingan (ex machina), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 06:07 (twenty years ago)

Reasons Jon isn't an ILE mod #253.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 08:38 (twenty years ago)

i don't think ally is right. i think you can be friends with exes. although it can be frustrating and confusing much of the time. especially if neither of you are dating anyone and you want to stick your hand down her pants all the time.

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 08:47 (twenty years ago)

oops.

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 08:47 (twenty years ago)

i used to be better about being friends with exes. maybe this time i'm just too horny, or she's too confused, or something.

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 08:48 (twenty years ago)

one of my exes is one of my best friends but the rest are his-to-ree

but this is really abt inability to percieve past yourself. of course all the guys after me are going to be short dippy fuckups with a bad sense of humor, right?

― geoff (gcannon), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 08:52 (twenty years ago)

i'm always morified by the thought that what i perceive to be 'signals' are just the person trying to be my friend. like 'ooh she invites me into her room.' but if i hadn't slept with this person, would that be unusual at all?

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 08:55 (twenty years ago)

mortified

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 08:55 (twenty years ago)

wow,someone stop me

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 08:57 (twenty years ago)

and frankly i love running into shit like this: person you know who is a bit dim or full of themself or both explains to you meeting some other unknown person. "and they were such a dumbass, they said to me [hilarious cutting deadpan thing which person a didn't get at all]" and you get to say "yeah, that's pretty dumbass all right"

― geoff (gcannon), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 08:58 (twenty years ago)

stop amateurist.

― geoff (gcannon), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 08:59 (twenty years ago)

i rarely meet dumb people. i feel sort of lucky that way.

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 09:00 (twenty years ago)

and: thank you, geoff.

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 09:00 (twenty years ago)

I don't so much agree that you can't be friends because sometimes (not always) you can- I have been- it's this part of Ally's post I totally agree with, completely agree, felt gleeful when I read it because it's so exactly what I was thinking:
"$10 says that the reason this girl comes off as a "crashing bore" around you is because you're still in love with your SEVERAL YEARS AGO relationship and act like a TOTAL CUNTBURGER when she is in your presence, so she acts VERY BORING AND QUIET around you BECAUSE YOU ARE A CUNTBURGER TOWARDS HER cos you are IN LOVE WITH THIS DUDE WHO YOU BROKE UP WITH FOREVER AGO."

― estela (estela), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 09:16 (twenty years ago)

It's difficult to the point of impossible to be friends with an ex if one still has unrequited feelings for them.

Coincidentally, I have noticed that many men seem to believe they can/actually want to be friends with their exes. Conversely, I have noticed that many women think that it is pointless and/or hurtful to remain friends with their exes. (Yes, these are stereotypes, but typical, I have found.)

Gender stereotypes also point to the notion that men are much more accustommed to/able to shut down and/or ignore their emotions.

I wonder if these two sets of stereotypes show causation as well as correllation.

― It Is What A Man Does Which Demeans Him, Not What Is Done To Him (kate), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 09:21 (twenty years ago)

I've stayed good friends with one of my exes for years, so I think there's nothing wrong with it. But I think you have to be the sort of a person who doesn't get jealous too easily, because the jealousy towards your exes new flames can last for quite a long time.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 09:24 (twenty years ago)

(x-post)

Haha, I guess I fit into your scheme Kate, except that I'm not that good at shutting down my emotions.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 09:25 (twenty years ago)

Kate's experiences are totally different to mine. I haven't had an ex who's had a problem with being friends afterwards since I was 16 - which isn't to say I'm friends with all my exes, but they've invariably seemed cool with it if it happened.

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 09:57 (twenty years ago)

Anyway, WHY BOTHER? It's over! Passe. Move on. If you're better, you'll have no problem finding someone new.

Yes, nathalie otm.

― Leon C. (Ex Leon), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 10:08 (twenty years ago)

Gender stereotypes also point to the notion that men are much more accustommed to/able to shut down and/or ignore their emotions.

whatever the stereotypes may be, i find this to be totally 100% untrue in terms of people i actually know.

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 17:30 (twenty years ago)

I've only stayed friends with one of my exs. We never wanted to split up in the first place (we split pretty much because my father incarcerated me in his house for five months when I was fourteen and I wasn't able to speak to anyone), but there's no way we'd get back together now -- she's gone emo and is a lesbian who's aiming to be a professional drag king and looks like a lost member of Linkin Park. Oy vey. As far as the rest, I don't see the point in staying friends with them, as it only looks like you want them back (or vice versa).

― Cheeseburger-style funbox to GO! Fries come in regular and crepuscular size (Eas, Thursday, 28 July 2005 01:15 (twenty years ago)

"If you're better, you'll have no problem finding someone new."

I've met quite a few new someones. That's not what I'm getting at with this thread. I don't want the dude back, I just want to find out what the appeal of the boring girlfriend is.

― nacb, Thursday, 28 July 2005 02:57 (twenty years ago)

Cuz I've seen this happen with other couples too, and it's baffling. Then again, what LeCoq said upthread is probably OTM.

― nacb, Thursday, 28 July 2005 02:58 (twenty years ago)

Anyway I should never have started this thread because if there's one thing I know about ILX, it's that people love to make assumptions (and project their own emo baggage onto your story) when they have very few facts, and of course it's difficult to present facts when you log out.

― nacb, Thursday, 28 July 2005 03:02 (twenty years ago)

Well, you really have no way of seeing exactly what is going on in your ex's head, either. Perhaps she has hidden depths that you don't understand. Or perhaps since your friend is so "smart/cool" he needs someone lowkey to balance or counteract his intensity.

And honestly, if he's your friend, and he is happy, what business of yours *is* it what he sees in her?

― It Is What A Man Does Which Demeans Him, Not What Is Done To Him (kate), Thursday, 28 July 2005 06:52 (twenty years ago)

"If you're better, you'll have no problem finding someone new."

I've met quite a few new someones. That's not what I'm getting at with this thread. I don't want the dude back, I just want to find out what the appeal of the boring girlfriend is.

Okay, sorry. But honestly we can never know what attracts people to eachother. Obviously he sees something in her that you don't.

― nathalie's body's designed for two (stevie nixed), Thursday, 28 July 2005 07:01 (twenty years ago)

I don't see how any of us can tell you the appeal of the "boring girlfriend" since none of us know her and have nothing at all to go on other than she's apparently boring, to you!

Anyway, I was wrong, I stayed friends with one ex! Gah I ruin my own logic with reality. Also, already pointed out, but there's nothing inherently wrong with thinking you're better than someone else, but there was a weird, creepy, persistent undertone to the initial posts by Fraulein Logged Out and some people here should understand why the "my ex from 27 years ago is dating this girl i hate who isn't me and everyone sucks" vibe is awful and blaaargh more than others here!

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Thursday, 28 July 2005 13:56 (twenty years ago)

ok also the real thing is this assumption that ppl. who are "smart/cool" (which generally just means talkative) want to date other ppl who are like them in this regard.

i mean issues like trust, emotional intimacy, etc. also loom large. and quiet and talkative types go together too.

+ maybe he partially DOES get along with this person coz she's friendly and nice and he finds it a relief from someone that is v. excitable and talkative and creative but also requires lots of attention and is v. high maintenence. i.e. a crazy-intense thing isn't what he wants.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Thursday, 28 July 2005 14:14 (twenty years ago)

perhaps they're really, really good in the sack

― shine headlights on me (electricsound), Thursday, 28 July 2005 23:13 (twenty years ago)

Jim is so OTM, the Money is seeping into his trousers.

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 29 July 2005 00:09 (twenty years ago)

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