Worst confectionery: OPO

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I should have know better, and shouldn't have even touched the thing as it is made by Nestlé, but this is my nomination.

I had one of those 'Little Notions' lemon cheesecake bars as there is a box of about 200 going free at the moment at work and it was fucking nasty. I've got a horrible sensation in my mouth as if I've just ate a manky out of date biscuit topped with a couple of spoonfuls of margarine and a packet of cheap lemon sherbet. UGH!

― Chewshabadoo (Chewshabadoo), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 09:51 (twenty years ago)

Whisper

Are they still going? I always hated them.

― jel -- (jel), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 10:15 (twenty years ago)

Wispas rock, better than Aeros anyway.

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 10:15 (twenty years ago)

Strange foreign toffee that one of my colleagues brought in from her holiday. They said "milk" on them and had a picture of a cow, but I'm sure they were beef flavoured or something.

― Masonic Boom (kate), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 10:16 (twenty years ago)

I made the mistake of trying those 'Little Notions' in the raspberry yogurt version. Never, never again.

Whispas are great jel, you must be mental. Smaller bubbles than an Aero = more chocolate!!

― C J (C J), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 10:17 (twenty years ago)

Well that's three different spellings of 'Wispa' all on one thread.

(Beef flavoured toffee sounds intriguing, like chewing an Oxo cube or something)

― C J (C J), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 10:18 (twenty years ago)

They tasted a bit like salt water taffee gone horribly wrong. But then I had to explain to my colleagues what Salt Water Taffee was. Strange how they view me as a font of knowledge on all subjects American. Like, come on! I spend half the day wandering around talking like a pirate! Do you really think you can trust me not to just make stuff up?

(I am not making up the cow toffee, though. That was real. And odd indeed.)

― Masonic Boom (kate), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 10:20 (twenty years ago)

Inspection of the 'Little Notions' ingredients list allowed me to discover it was 40% fat and 33% Sugar - impressive!

― Chewshabadoo (Chewshabadoo), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 10:34 (twenty years ago)

i've never liked lion bars, or topic, or bounty. how can you not like wispas, though?!

― N_RQ, Wednesday, 3 August 2005 10:36 (twenty years ago)

I dread to think what the other 27% of the Notion bar is. Shit, probably.

― C J (C J), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 10:37 (twenty years ago)

Topic is my favourite thing in the whole world. Lots of places don't stock them any more though, so I am terribly afraid that there is some plan to discontinue them.

― C J (C J), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 10:38 (twenty years ago)

NECCO WAFERS

― Lupton Pitman (Chris V), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 10:40 (twenty years ago)

I don't know what necco wafers are, but they sound horrible.

― C J (C J), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 10:41 (twenty years ago)

Bounty makes me PUKE. Well it did when I was 6, and I've never touched the awful shite since!

I can't stand desiccated coconut, which may have something to do with it.

My 2nd vote goes to this Fair Trade white chocolate bar they used to sell (probably still do) in Oxfam. It wasn't selling very well so the manager gave a couple of bars to staff. We then knew why it wasn't selling.

― Colonel Poo (Colonel Poo), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 10:42 (twenty years ago)

Bountys are great, the dark chocolate ones are the best.

Drifters are fucking awful.

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 10:44 (twenty years ago)

Those Notion things are appalling. They had a gox of three going for cheap at Tescos, so I bought them, and yes, they taste like chocolate digestives left out for two days. Nasty.

I don't know about OLD Oxfam white chocolate, but the stuff in Oxfam at the moment is scrummy, the nicest white chocolate EVAH. Not as nice as their dark chcolate, all bitter and smooth, but still pretty good.

Kate, you don't talk like a pirate at work do you? That can't do good for inter-personell relations . . .

― Come Back Johnny B (Johnney B), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 10:50 (twenty years ago)

The strangest confectionary I've eaten was Israeli cheese-flavoured chocolate.

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 10:51 (twenty years ago)

http://waynesword.palomar.edu/images/necco1b.jpg

― Lupton Pitman (Chris V), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 10:52 (twenty years ago)

The dark & milk chocolate in Oxfam was always yum, maybe they have changed the recipe on the white stuff by now, it was about 2 years ago I think.

― Colonel Poo (Colonel Poo), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 10:53 (twenty years ago)

JB, that's one of the main reasons I *like* this job. No one seems to mind if I go around talking like a pirate at work. Haven't tried drinking a daily ration of Grog in the office yet, but still.

Ugh, Necco Wafers. Not as bad as those fried egg candy things, though.

― Masonic Boom (kate), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 10:54 (twenty years ago)

basically a necco wafer is a stale disc of chalk.

― Lupton Pitman (Chris V), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 10:56 (twenty years ago)

i also despise those rubbery orange peanut things. grandpa candy as i call them.

― Lupton Pitman (Chris V), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 10:57 (twenty years ago)

Those rubbery orange peanut things (Circus Peanuts) are excellent for throwing at bad poets. They bounce nicely.

― Masonic Boom (kate), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 10:58 (twenty years ago)

circus peanuts.

BLEAHHHHH!

xpost

― lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 10:58 (twenty years ago)

ah yes circus peanuts. why is it that my grandparents had possibly the worst candy dish in the world. circus peanuts, ribbon candy, maryjanes (which rip your fucking teeth out), peanut brittle...ugh.

― Lupton Pitman (Chris V), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 10:59 (twenty years ago)

Rubbery orange peanuts and discs of stale chalk??? I feel so sorry for you foreigners. We might not have much in this country, but at least we have nice sweets and chocolates.

― C J (C J), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 11:00 (twenty years ago)

1. Any Jaffa cake fakes from Lidl.
2. Those super piratos salty liquorice sweets.

― Raston Warrior Robot (alix), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 11:00 (twenty years ago)

the only thing necco wafers are good for is using as roof tiles on gingerbread houses.

― lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 11:02 (twenty years ago)

they're kind of great but i don't know how my teeth survived the wham bar.

― N_RQ, Wednesday, 3 August 2005 11:04 (twenty years ago)

WAGON WHEELS even tho they had such a great ad with that hiccuping french snail

*soggy tasteless biscuit centre
*oversweet jam
*thin mean layer of marshmallow
*non chocolate coating

― jeremy jordan (cruisy), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 11:10 (twenty years ago)

― jeremy jordan (cruisy), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 11:11 (twenty years ago)

...love necco wafers

― jeremy jordan (cruisy), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 11:11 (twenty years ago)

YOU ARE BANNED FROM ILX FOR LIFE.

― Lupton Pitman (Chris V), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 11:26 (twenty years ago)

In 6th grade they took us on a field trip to the plant where necco wafers are made. Why, I have no idea. But the place was a dump and they kept all the sugar in this huge hangar like place...just giant piles of it and it was filthy.

― Lupton Pitman (Chris V), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 11:28 (twenty years ago)

Wispas no longer exist do they, you have to get Dairy Milk Bubbly or something?

Confectionery I hate: Parma Violets, liquorice. And white Maltesers were a reeeaallllyy bad idea.

― Archel (Archel), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 11:31 (twenty years ago)

I can't quite decide if the Caramac Kitkat is a good idea or not.

― Raston Warrior Robot (alix), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 11:34 (twenty years ago)

Divinity (southern u.s. candy with pecans) is gross. I'm not too fond of those light coconut macaroons that consist of coconut, egg whites and sugar, either. (Real coconut cookies are a treat, though.)

― Truckdrivin' Buddha (Rock Hardy), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 11:39 (twenty years ago)

Alix, yes, it is.

I don't like wagon wheels either.

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 11:48 (twenty years ago)

1. Any Jaffa cake fakes from Lidl.

This is SO wrong. Lidlses fake jaffa cakes are The Best Jaffa Cakes In The World.

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 12:01 (twenty years ago)

Ooh I had some lovely fake Jaffa cakes the other day, I forget where they were from though. The jelly bit extended properly right to the edge rather than being a blob in the middle, and the chocolate was all thick.

― Archel (Archel), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 12:04 (twenty years ago)

Those melt in the mouth mint chewing gum thin things. Can't remember the name.
If that doesn't count as confectionary I nominate liquorice.

― beanz (beanz), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 12:04 (twenty years ago)

Lidl Jaffa Cakes are brilliant, what are you talking about?

I don't like Chocolate Eclairs because when I was a kid one of my Granny's old lady friends used to always give them to us when we visited. As a result I associate the flavour with decay, senility and impending death.

x-post: damn right wrt lidl jaffa cakes, onimo.

― lurker king, Wednesday, 3 August 2005 12:05 (twenty years ago)

Liquorice,worst food stuff ever.

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 12:37 (twenty years ago)

Ugh! Ugh! Liquorice!!! YUCK!!! Foul demon beast of satan, why would anyone eat it? See also, black jelly beans. Ick, I feel the urge to wash my mouth out just thinking about it.

― Masonic Boom (kate), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 12:43 (twenty years ago)

ugh. plain black liquorice is nasty. i have a grudging admiration for the salt-crusted scandinavian variety, though, which makes no sense.

― lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 12:44 (twenty years ago)

ihttp://www.canadiancravings.com/images/41_1_b.JPGwrong!

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 12:49 (twenty years ago)

http://www.canadiancravings.com/images/41_1_b.JPG wrong

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 12:50 (twenty years ago)

Hold on, is that one big square Crunchie, or what? I can't imagine any permutation of Crunchie being wrong though.

― Archel (Archel), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 12:58 (twenty years ago)

This whole thread makes my teeth hurt.

― Truckdrivin' Buddha (Rock Hardy), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 13:02 (twenty years ago)

http://www.sweetiebag.com/product_images/details/Wham.jpg

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 13:03 (twenty years ago)

Skipping 13 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

So, what about the liqourice Necco wafers? There were vaguely flavored gray ones.

For the record - love Neccos, love liquorice stuff - anisette, sambucca, black jelly beans, black Jujifruits, black liquorice.

HATE circus peanuts. and Mary Janes. And any non-black jelly beans with the inch-thick outside and the clear, gellatinous inside...I think Brach's, amongst others, makes them in the States.

― Big Loud Mountain Ape (Big Loud Mountain Ape), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 14:26 (twenty years ago)

Aren't there Clove Necco wafers too? They used to freak me out as a child because I could not identify the taste.
Sugar Daddies are horrible. You might as well just eat some Karo syrup straight from the jar. I also despise anything with gooey marshmallow fluff.

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 14:42 (twenty years ago)

http://bad-candy.com. this site is a bit juvenile but has provided me with much entertainment over the years (I suppose the same could be said of ILX)

― kyle (akmonday), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 14:58 (twenty years ago)

Peeps are awful. I don't like Twix bars, either, something about the cookie inside bothers me. Or Fun Dips - I liked the powder well enough, but the stick? Bleah.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 15:09 (twenty years ago)

These toffee flavoured jelly sweet things have to be up there. I bought a packet at a service station out of curiosity. Completely inexplicable. I can see how someone might have made a test run of the product, just to see what it would turn out like, but to go to all the effort of putting them on shelves...

― DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 15:11 (twenty years ago)

You Kate, yes you Kate.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 15:18 (twenty years ago)

y'all Necco and liquorice haters are all nuts.
FIGHT THE REAL ENEMY:
http://www.candyfavorites.com/shop/product_images%5C748.jpg
Wax Candy.

IT'S WAX.

― Half Moon Empty Sports Bag (sexyDancer), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 15:20 (twenty years ago)

Got yer email! Have replied!

― Masonic Boom (kate), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 15:32 (twenty years ago)

There is some true mentalism on this thread. There are few things nicer than a fresh Wagon Wheel, Necco Wafers are good, especially the clove ones, and Bounty are almost the only chocolate bars I eat, though I also like Big Turks so maybe you can't trust my judgement.

Candy corn are gross, as are those Halloween kisses (the greyish brown toffee), but I'd have to say that the chocolate Liquorice Allsorts are the worst confectionery.

― Bryan (Bryan), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 15:32 (twenty years ago)

oh god! those liquid-filled wax tube things! i successfully begged and begged my parents for them when i was really young, end result being technicolor vomit in the back seat of the family malibu.

― lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 15:34 (twenty years ago)

http://www.sweetstall.com/acatalog/zero.jpg

I shudder.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 15:41 (twenty years ago)

I saw an apple abba-zabba about a week ago - I thought it would be really gross, but it was kinda good.*

*I was high.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 15:44 (twenty years ago)

Also, Halloween peanut butter kisses are terrible, but I love them anyway. I don't like candy corn or red hots, though.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 15:46 (twenty years ago)

lion bars are quite bad too! i just thought of them, but i see that n_rq already mentioned them. yeah, ditto

i dont know if those gross body building protein bars or low carb bars count, but they are uniformly horrible

― jeremy jordan (cruisy), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 15:50 (twenty years ago)

Parma violets are the best sweet evah.

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 15:51 (twenty years ago)

xypost: I have puked wax as well.

― Half Moon Empty Sports Bag (sexyDancer), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 15:53 (twenty years ago)

Cadbury Cream Eggs are fucking nasty.

― Lupton Pitman (Chris V), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 16:02 (twenty years ago)

and wax lips. bleurrgh.

― lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 16:03 (twenty years ago)

Butterfingers jam up your teeth something awful. Will no one rid me of this accursed candy?

― bigkat4eva (lawrence kansas), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 16:24 (twenty years ago)

are you being force-fed?

― lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 16:25 (twenty years ago)

Foie goodness sake, no.

― laurence kansas (lawrence kansas), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 16:29 (twenty years ago)

Whatever shit I buy at Camber (evidence of this in ATP threads).

This was proven the other week, when I fed my parents Toxic Waste and watched with joy as the battery acid ate their faces.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Thursday, 4 August 2005 07:59 (twenty years ago)

Curly Wurlies are difficult to eat because all the chocolate falls off them at the first bite. It's odd that the chocolate is so non-toffeee-adhesive, considering it sticks so well and so messily to your clothes.

― C J (C J), Thursday, 4 August 2005 08:12 (twenty years ago)

This was proven the other week, when I fed my parents Toxic Waste and watched with joy as the battery acid ate their faces.

Toxic Waste is the Mother Of All Nasty Sweets. You never forget your first one.

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Thursday, 4 August 2005 08:15 (twenty years ago)

Fry's Turkish Delight. Second only to cheese as the most revolting, intolerable tasting foodstuff... in the worrrrrld.

I quite miss Cabana bars even though they were too, too sweet and gooey.

Dime bars are no good 'cos you just don't seem to get your money's worth. Are the ingrediants so incredibly expensive or what?

― David Merryweather Goes To Far (scarlet), Thursday, 4 August 2005 09:14 (twenty years ago)

Yeah Dime bars are rank. Worst ever are Gold Bars. I don't think they make them anymore, nasty gritty iron-filing-style biscuit covered with that sickly Caramac chocolate gunk but with the sugar and marge content ramped up to the max. You eat half and you feel queasy, you eat a full one and you're taking the day off work.

― Affectian (Affectian), Thursday, 4 August 2005 09:28 (twenty years ago)

Cabana was the best ever, chocolate, coconut, cherries. Yum!

Licorice is a no no though my wife is Danish and she loves it, including the salty stuff. They eat some kinds of licorice like chewing gum to freshen breath!?

If popcorn counts then the stuff you get at the cinema with melted butter on it. I can eat it salty or sweet but stick that butter substitute on and it's just foul.

I used to like Gold Bars.

― mms (mms), Thursday, 4 August 2005 13:18 (twenty years ago)

How can Sugar Babies be so classic and Sugar Daddies be so dud?

― n/a (Nick A.), Thursday, 4 August 2005 13:24 (twenty years ago)

I eat Curly Wurlies laying down so that the chocolate falls off into my mouth. I'm very good at being a fat guy.

― Bryan (Bryan), Thursday, 4 August 2005 13:25 (twenty years ago)

Mmm Gold Bars. Used to have them in my packed lunch. Not as good as Trios though.

― Archel (Archel), Thursday, 4 August 2005 13:25 (twenty years ago)

I gotta vote for peeps. Candy corn and circus peanuts are both bad candy, but they're relatively flavorless. Peeps have flavor, and it ain't pretty. Last time I ate peeps, I was taking bong hits, got hungry, ate a whole box of the nasty things, then puked bright pink. Not cool.

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Thursday, 4 August 2005 13:30 (twenty years ago)

circus peanuts seriously blow

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Thursday, 4 August 2005 14:01 (twenty years ago)

the fact they have dark bounties made my day.

― anthony easton (anthony), Thursday, 4 August 2005 15:57 (twenty years ago)

two years pass...

aero bubbles -- weak

― That one guy that hit it and quit it, Thursday, 14 February 2008 15:04 (eighteen years ago)

Circus peanuts are nasty. As are Peeps, which are only fit for art installations.

― j.lu, Thursday, 14 February 2008 18:09 (eighteen years ago)

Hershey's chocolate tastes like sick.

― Madchen, Thursday, 14 February 2008 18:15 (eighteen years ago)

i said this way upthread, but peeps are fantastic as cake decorations. as for eating, no way.

― lauren, Thursday, 14 February 2008 18:18 (eighteen years ago)

WORST EVER: Turkish delight, motherfuckers. I had SUCH HIGH HOPES for it, never having tried it as the US is a surprisingly sensible country about some things and we don't really have it here. But it was EVERYWHERE in Greece, AND ALWAYS GROSS.

― Laurel, Thursday, 14 February 2008 18:19 (eighteen years ago)

Some Italian nougat type stuff with hazelnuts in it - it was like eating a block of polystyrene full of squirrel turds.

― snoball, Thursday, 14 February 2008 18:36 (eighteen years ago)

Hershey's chocolate tastes like sick.

I was just reading about chocolate in the NY Times food section and it mentioned that Hershey's chocolate tastes the way it does because it probably contains butyric acid, which is a by-product of a process where they acidify milk proteins.

Wikipedia says butyric acid "is found in rancid butter, parmesan cheese, and vomit".

― joygoat, Thursday, 14 February 2008 20:25 (eighteen years ago)

Parmesan cheese is fantastic though.

― Bonita Applebum, Thursday, 14 February 2008 20:26 (eighteen years ago)

Hershey's chocolate isn't worth the vomit that it induces, though.

― Laurel, Thursday, 14 February 2008 20:29 (eighteen years ago)

I am reassured that my theory has been proven by science. I mean, I like parmesan, but nobody makes it into 'kisses'.

― Madchen, Thursday, 14 February 2008 20:44 (eighteen years ago)

Or, for that matter, 'duds'.

― Madchen, Thursday, 14 February 2008 20:44 (eighteen years ago)

Is it wrong to be salivating at the thought of parmesan duds?

― Madchen, Thursday, 14 February 2008 20:44 (eighteen years ago)

Wikipedia says butyric acid "is found in rancid butter, parmesan cheese, and vomit".

Hershey's specifically, or chocolate in general? I vaguely remember an article (somehow associated with that movie version of Perfume) that reported that flavor/taste bouquet most people recognize as "chocolate" includes a little butyric acid. The researchers tested a blend minus the BA, and test subjects reported that this chocolate seemed to be somehow "wrong."

[Very timely; this week I'm working at the USP on its Food Chemicals Codex. BA is on a long list of substances that I really don't want to think about their being in my food.]

― j.lu, Thursday, 14 February 2008 21:20 (eighteen years ago)

Hershey's specifically, or chocolate in general?

I'm not sure - the article was about milk chocolate in general. This is the bit:

American milk chocolate — specifically Hershey’s — is known for its tangy or sour flavor, produced by the use of milk that Mr. Landuyt refers to as “acidified.” Although Hershey’s process has never been made public (and a spokeswoman declined to comment on its techniques), experts speculate that Hershey’s puts its milk through controlled lipolysis, a process by which the fatty acids in the milk begin to break down.
This produces butyric acid, also found in Parmesan cheese and the spit-up of babies; other chocolate manufacturers now simply add butyric acid to their milk chocolates. It has a distinctive tang that Americans have grown accustomed to and now expect in chocolate. “I can’t think of any other reason why people would like it,” said Mr. Whinney, of Theo Chocolate.

― joygoat, Thursday, 14 February 2008 21:36 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.dazbert.co.uk/sites/rudefood/food/fartbar.jpg

― Bodrick III, Thursday, 14 February 2008 21:38 (eighteen years ago)

Walnuts make you fart? Yellow elephants fart walnuts?

― snoball, Thursday, 14 February 2008 21:53 (eighteen years ago)

It's made of sprouts.

― Bodrick III, Thursday, 14 February 2008 22:31 (eighteen years ago)

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