The Sun Wants You To Make Britain Great.

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http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2005350771,00.html

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 4 August 2005 10:25 (twenty years ago)

The Full News Index bit's a bit poignant.

― Michael Philip Philip Philip Avoidant (Ferg), Thursday, 4 August 2005 10:29 (twenty years ago)

hahahaha!

― N_RQ, Thursday, 4 August 2005 10:30 (twenty years ago)

I would like to make Sienna great.

― N_RQ, Thursday, 4 August 2005 10:31 (twenty years ago)

A BUILDER got three months’ jail for headbutting a DJ who played Wham! hit Wake Me Up Before You Go Go.
Roy Nash, 48, broke Andrew Cleeson’s nose because he said the music made the event like a “gay night”, a court heard.
Mr Cleeson, 35, had put on a string of hits from the 1970s and 1980s at the Moonshine Disco in Weymouth, Dorset.
Burly Nash snapped when he heard the 1984 chart-topper from George Michael and Andrew Ridgeley.
The drunken attack in November put the DJ in hospital.
Prosecuting Elizabeth Valera said Nash had complained earlier in the evening about the “gay” music.

Nash’s solicitor Ian Graham admitted: “He had a lot to drink and alcohol tends to bring out the worst in him.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 4 August 2005 10:31 (twenty years ago)

But the "Great" in Great Britain refers to geographical size tho doesn't it? Are The Sun suggesting we go down to the seashore and try sticking bits on to the coastline to make Britan "greater"?

― Vicious Cop Kills Gentle Fool (Dada), Thursday, 4 August 2005 10:32 (twenty years ago)

WRITE to your MP demanding that this crazy law [the Human Rights Act] is repealed.

― NickB (NickB), Thursday, 4 August 2005 10:32 (twenty years ago)

good old the sun

http://image.guardian.co.uk/sys-images/Media/Pix/pictures/2002/06/20/Littlejohn_RichardTurner1.jpg

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 4 August 2005 10:32 (twenty years ago)

You couldn't make it up.

― Michael Philip Philip Philip Avoidant (Ferg), Thursday, 4 August 2005 10:33 (twenty years ago)

The Sun Says: Make London Even Greater

― N_RQ, Thursday, 4 August 2005 10:33 (twenty years ago)

No, actually, the "Great" refers to the fact that includes all the little islands around the mainland, as well as the mainland.

So we should knock down bridges and causeways which are connecting us to the little islands, so we can have more little islands again, and therefore be greater!

― Masonic Boom (kate), Thursday, 4 August 2005 10:35 (twenty years ago)

No, actually, the "Great" refers to the fact that includes all the little islands around the mainland, as well as the mainland.

Yes, well that's what I meant, it's geographically derived

― Vicious Cop Kills Gentle Fool (Dada), Thursday, 4 August 2005 10:36 (twenty years ago)

Oh yuck! Man I am starting to hate this paper almost more than the Mail and the Express. Yesterday's front page was enough to make me wanna retch all over the newsstand.

― dog latin (dog latin), Thursday, 4 August 2005 10:37 (twenty years ago)

Oh yuck! Man I am starting to hate this paper almost more than the Mail and the Express. Yesterday's front page was enough to make me wanna retch all over the newsstand.

but then you opened page 3 and bought it and let the newsagent keep the change

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 4 August 2005 10:39 (twenty years ago)

SAVE OUR BARMAIDS' BOOBS

― Frogm@n Henry, Thursday, 4 August 2005 10:39 (twenty years ago)

anyway, the best way to read the Sun is to not read the actual articles and just enjoy the truly delightful puns (especially in the sports pages).

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 4 August 2005 10:40 (twenty years ago)

to pass laws vitally needed to combat terror attacks

I have a terrible habit of skim-reading things too quickly. I was sure that said wombat attacks.

― C J (C J), Thursday, 4 August 2005 10:41 (twenty years ago)

Since The Beatles took the world by storm in the mid-1960s, Britain has rocked MUSIC, now ruled by superstars such as Coldplay, while our TV is the envy of the world thanks to classics like Only Fools And Horses.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 4 August 2005 10:41 (twenty years ago)

I for one will be Doing My Bit by knocking down the bits of the Embankment which prevent the waters from retaking beautiful ~~Westminster~~ Thorney Island to its lovely island status!

Who cares if it washes away a few MPs on its way?

― Masonic Boom (kate), Thursday, 4 August 2005 10:43 (twenty years ago)

It won't wash any MPs away. They're orf on their hols.

― C J (C J), Thursday, 4 August 2005 10:44 (twenty years ago)

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2005350741,,00.html

Save our barmaids' boobs

By TIM SPANTON

THE EU has declared a crackpot war on busty barmaids — by trying to ban them from wearing low-cut tops.
Po-faced penpushers have deemed it a HEALTH HAZARD for bar girls to show too much cleavage.

And in a daft directive that will have drinkers choking on their pints, Brussels bureaucrats have ordered a cover-up.

They say barmaids run a skin cancer risk if they expose themselves to the sun when they go outside to collect glasses.

Last night the move was blasted as an affront. Annie Powell, of real ale group Camra, raged: “It’s just another blatant example of Europe gone mad.”

Page 3 babes Nicola T, 22, and Keeley, 18, show just what we could all soon be missing at the pub.

― Frogm@n Henry, Thursday, 4 August 2005 10:45 (twenty years ago)

neglecting the real trend with bar staff which is pants popping out of low-riding trousers/skirts

― Britain's Jauntiest Shepherd (Alan), Thursday, 4 August 2005 10:49 (twenty years ago)

KNOW a busty barmaid who could be hit by the ban? Email a snap of her to barmaids@the-sun.co.uk or post to Busty Barmaids, The Sun, 1 Virginia Street, London E98 1SN.
We’ll print the best — and make a plaster cast of the winner’s boobs to hang in your local.

!!!! this is awesome!

"please don't assume i'm being pervy here when i take a photo of your tits luv, i'm just trying to win us a plaster cast of your boobs yeah?"

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 4 August 2005 10:51 (twenty years ago)

I'm sure this campaign will succeed as spectacularly as the News of the World STOP THOSE EVIL PAEDIATRICIANS campaign did.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 4 August 2005 10:55 (twenty years ago)

you mean the wrong tits will get photographed?

― N_RQ, Thursday, 4 August 2005 10:57 (twenty years ago)

ihttp://www2002.stoke.gov.uk/museums/pmag/nathist/environment/content_images2/blue_tit_1.jpg

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Thursday, 4 August 2005 10:59 (twenty years ago)

"Mr Carlin of Streatham, south-west London, is 41 and SINGLE. He WALKS THE STREETS carrying LARGE BAGS containing UNKNOWN MATERIAL. He is known to have an UNHEALTHY INTEREST in POP MUSIC which, as every vigilant SUN-reading citizen knows, is POPULAR WITH CHILDREN. WHAT IS BRITAIN TO DO ABOUT THIS MENACE? TV's CAROL VORDERMAN reports..."

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 4 August 2005 11:00 (twenty years ago)

Does he wear BIG JACKETS?

― tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Thursday, 4 August 2005 11:02 (twenty years ago)

What a load of shit. Who writes this stuff?

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Thursday, 4 August 2005 11:04 (twenty years ago)

Cambridge graduates

― Masked Gazza, Thursday, 4 August 2005 11:06 (twenty years ago)

"Tim Berners-Lee [...]invented the internet in 1989."

hey, not-goodwin, at least it's factually accurate.

― N_RQ, Thursday, 4 August 2005 11:08 (twenty years ago)

isnt great britain in order to differenitate from brittania minor, (ie bretagne/brittany)

― charltonlido (gareth), Thursday, 4 August 2005 11:08 (twenty years ago)

TECHNICIAN Graham, 63, said: “We should stop all illegal immigrants entering the country. And I think that preachers of hate should be charged with treason.”

good thinking! illegal immigrants should be made er... illegal

― grosvenor lucrece, Thursday, 4 August 2005 11:11 (twenty years ago)

Wait, you mean there's another place, in FRANCE of all places, called Britain?? It's just another blatant example of Europe gone mad.

― Masked Gazza, Thursday, 4 August 2005 11:12 (twenty years ago)

“The other week, I saw a crowd of hooded boys surrounding two girls fighting on the floor, cheering them on. I’ve never seen anything like it.”

http://mysite.wanadoo-members.co.uk/celebrity-wrestling/images/0-picture.jpg

― Archel (Archel), Thursday, 4 August 2005 11:25 (twenty years ago)

"Passengers were horrified to see Mr Carlin, 41, being brutally kicked, whipped and trodden on by hunky ex-SUN columnist Ms Platell, 48. 'WE ARE CONSENTING ADULTS AND THIS IS THE 21ST CENTURY FOR FECK'S SAKE!' Carlin subsequently quipped to reporters."

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 4 August 2005 11:32 (twenty years ago)

More people have now seen that picture than ever watched Celebrity Wrestling when it was on.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Thursday, 4 August 2005 11:33 (twenty years ago)

The sun is a piece of shit. The best thing it could do to make britain better is cease publication immediately.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 4 August 2005 11:34 (twenty years ago)

it's just a pity that interesting threads keep getting derailed, ruined and rendered unreadable by the usual savage egos around here

― Masonic Boom (kate), Thursday, 4 August 2005 11:39 (twenty years ago)

I thought it was Great Britain as in as opposed to Brittany.

That is a good article about gay music.

― PJ Miller (PJ Miller 68), Thursday, 4 August 2005 11:41 (twenty years ago)

5. Ranting clerics are free to spit hatred thanks to the Human Rights Act, which prevents their deportation.

WRITE to your MP demanding that this crazy law is repealed.

― Come Back Johnny B (Johnney B), Thursday, 4 August 2005 11:42 (twenty years ago)

I was gonna point stuff out, but I realised it would be overkill.

― Come Back Johnny B (Johnney B), Thursday, 4 August 2005 11:43 (twenty years ago)

4. Britain is a nation at war — we can no longer worry about being labelled a “grass”.
Don’t hesitate to REPORT suspicious activity or anti-social behaviour.

Call your local police or phone the anti-terror hotline on 0800 789 321 if you have important information or suspicions.

9. Communication while travelling on public transport has almost broken down, fuelled recently by an atmosphere of mutual suspicion.

Don’t be afraid to challenge the climate of fear by making CONVERSATION.

― Masked Gazza, Thursday, 4 August 2005 11:43 (twenty years ago)

And yeh, I thought it was Great Britain as opposed to Little Britain = Brittany.

― Come Back Johnny B (Johnney B), Thursday, 4 August 2005 11:43 (twenty years ago)

The Sun helps even further to dispel the climate of suspicion:

6. Many of us no longer know the names of our neighbours, even though we have sometimes lived side by side for years.

Take the trouble to CHAT to those who live close by to revive close-knit communities of the past.

It may also save you from being burgled next week

― Masked Gazza, Thursday, 4 August 2005 11:45 (twenty years ago)

The sun is a piece of shit. The best thing it could do to make britain better is cease publication immediately.

10000000000000000x OTM

― dog latin (dog latin), Thursday, 4 August 2005 11:49 (twenty years ago)

So that chap using the computer represents "the internet" in that heroes poster? I thought it was supposed to be a celebration of ILX :(

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 4 August 2005 11:49 (twenty years ago)

it's actually calum but not a word to anyone...

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 4 August 2005 11:51 (twenty years ago)

5. Ranting clerics are free to spit hatred thanks to the Human Rights Act, which prevents their deportation.

WRITE to your MP demanding that this crazy law is repealed.

im baffled by this - can someone explain?

― jed_ (jed), Thursday, 4 August 2005 11:52 (twenty years ago)

factually nonsense that no one wants to hear!

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Thursday, 4 August 2005 11:53 (twenty years ago)

Skipping 27 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Bakri: "she is free to make her own choices in life"
Bakri: "Her behaviour should be the responsibility of her husband"

MAKE YOUR MIND UP SON

― Ismael Klata, Friday, 26 September 2008 16:49 (seventeen years ago)

one month passes...

http://www.thesun.co.uk/discussions/posts/list/Euro_Nazi_leader_allowed_to_live_in_Britain-130944.page

^^^some great stuff here

― Peter "One Dart" Manley (The stickman from the hilarious 'xkcd' comics), Monday, 10 November 2008 16:08 (seventeen years ago)

Scummer Street; that's in Welling, isn't it?

― Worried Man (Marcello Carlin), Monday, 10 November 2008 16:17 (seventeen years ago)

Did you mean:
Summer St, Stroud GL5, UK
Summer St, Norton, Sheffield S3, UK
Summer St, West Bromwich, Sandwell B71, UK
Summer St, Slip End, Luton LU1, UK
Summer St, Aberdeen, Aberdeen City AB10, UK
Summer St, Leighton-Linslade LU7, UK
Summer St, Kingswinford, Dudley DY6, UK
Summer St, Belfast BT14, UK
Summer St, Lye, Stourbridge, Dudley DY9, UK
Summer St, Willenhall, Walsall WV13, UK

From Googlemaps...

― Mark G, Monday, 10 November 2008 16:29 (seventeen years ago)

ahem. Can you guess what I did?

― Mark G, Monday, 10 November 2008 16:29 (seventeen years ago)

Hmm, I tried AA road maps: scummer street. I got Chester-le-street golf club.

What's THAT all about then?

― Mark G, Monday, 10 November 2008 16:30 (seventeen years ago)

what is everyones problem with muslims???? ok so some are terrorists, thats bad and wrong but a lot of muslims are british, born in the uk so they are entitled to stay!!!!
AND how many british people are rapists? you don't get many "muslims" who are and has anyone ever heard of a "muslim" paedophiles???? NO!!! Clean up the "white british criminals then talk about bloody muslims!!!!

― The Slash My Father Wrote (DJ Mencap), Monday, 10 November 2008 16:54 (seventeen years ago)

has anyone ever heard of a "muslim" paedophiles???? NO!!!

Ah this is a belter.

― Matt DC, Monday, 10 November 2008 16:56 (seventeen years ago)

three weeks pass...

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1991685.ece

"Don't Fancy Whores Much"

― Peter "One Dart" Manley (The stickman from the hilarious 'xkcd' comics), Tuesday, 2 December 2008 11:31 (seventeen years ago)

lol wow

― Shacknasty (Frogman Henry), Tuesday, 2 December 2008 11:33 (seventeen years ago)

page not found?

― Ant Attack.. (Ste), Tuesday, 2 December 2008 11:48 (seventeen years ago)

Ain't you the lucky one

― Ich Ber ein Binliner (Tom D.), Tuesday, 2 December 2008 11:55 (seventeen years ago)

"404 Page Error" is another example of EUROPE GONE MAD.

― Germany's second-favourite Australian fat leg spin bowler (King Boy Pato), Tuesday, 2 December 2008 11:59 (seventeen years ago)

They've sadly deleted it from their site. It was an article called "Don't fancy whores much: none of these hookers are lookers", with pictures of some crackwhores busted in a US sting operation.

― Peter "One Dart" Manley (The stickman from the hilarious 'xkcd' comics), Tuesday, 2 December 2008 12:00 (seventeen years ago)

Bullshit they've deleted it. It's no doubt a case of some Brussels Bureaucrat spending British pounds on putting Great British webpages into some CRAZY EU SCHEME called "404" and then losing them!

― Germany's second-favourite Australian fat leg spin bowler (King Boy Pato), Tuesday, 2 December 2008 12:01 (seventeen years ago)

Slideshow still works though:

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1991849.ece?slideshowPopup=true&articleId=1991849&nSlide=1

― nate woolls, Tuesday, 2 December 2008 12:02 (seventeen years ago)

this thread languishing? but it's theme!

― Mark G, Tuesday, 2 December 2008 16:18 (seventeen years ago)

#4 looks like Kieffer Sutherland

― snoball, Tuesday, 2 December 2008 16:21 (seventeen years ago)

two months pass...

http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2009/feb/26/sun-pays-damages-to-muslim-bus-driver
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1562296.ece

― Eerie, Indierocker (The stickman from the hilarious xkcd comics), Thursday, 26 February 2009 18:05 (seventeen years ago)

sick sad world

― O Supermanchiros (blueski), Thursday, 26 February 2009 18:07 (seventeen years ago)

Dude has something of the Tuomas about him IMO

― Luka ModReq (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 26 February 2009 18:24 (seventeen years ago)

"We now accept that these allegations were completely untrue"

What a great half-assed way to apologise for something YOU did! (Accept? What's there for them to accept?)

― StanM, Thursday, 26 February 2009 19:19 (seventeen years ago)

FWIW that's basically the obligatory turn of phrase when British papers are forced to include an "er yeah busted sorry" note

― Luka ModReq (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 26 February 2009 19:35 (seventeen years ago)

We now accept that this knowledge wasn't available to all concerned parties.

― StanM, Thursday, 26 February 2009 19:36 (seventeen years ago)

two weeks pass...

"The Cajun Squirrel crisps are one of six new Walkers flavours, which
include Chilli and Chocolate, Builder's Breakfast, Fish and Chips, Onion
Bhaji and Crispy Duck.

They are inspired by the taste in parts of the United States for grey
squirrel, which is served up in Louisiana, Kentucky and West Virginia
in Brunswick stew."

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2318382.ece

I'm sure someone just forgot, but I'm not seeing "this is a paid advertisement" anywhere.

― StanM, Saturday, 14 March 2009 09:23 (sixteen years ago)

two months pass...

Now here's something that doesn't get another press! God bless the good people at The Sun: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/mysun/2460990/Call-centres-drive-you-crazy.html

― "too worldly to compete on /b/" (King Boy Pato), Wednesday, 3 June 2009 07:53 (sixteen years ago)

"It must cost the companies more money to employee them." says Naughtydog. "If I walk into a coffee bar and am served by someone with broken English I call the owner and tell them I will not be coming to your bar again."

NOW THAT'S A GREAT BRITISH HERO!!!

― "too worldly to compete on /b/" (King Boy Pato), Wednesday, 3 June 2009 07:54 (sixteen years ago)

Smudge06 and WozzaD, traditional British names there.

― James Mitchell, Wednesday, 3 June 2009 08:15 (sixteen years ago)

seven months pass...

http://themediablog.typepad.com/.a/6a011570c131b2970c012876f49c7d970c-320wi

― Space Battle Rothko (Matt DC), Thursday, 21 January 2010 13:01 (sixteen years ago)

that's worthy of a Private Eye parody

― dumb mick name follows (darraghmac), Thursday, 21 January 2010 13:42 (sixteen years ago)

Brilliant.

― Ned Trifle II, Thursday, 21 January 2010 13:48 (sixteen years ago)

I hope she really said "18th Century economist Adam Smith"

― gimme dat becky_lucas (Curt1s Stephens), Thursday, 21 January 2010 18:01 (sixteen years ago)

The division of labour in pun manufacturing.

― might seem normal (snoball), Thursday, 21 January 2010 18:05 (sixteen years ago)

four months pass...

love this fuckin rag

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2990390/Web-porn-But-I-was-only-after-br-wild-asian-ass.html

― max, Friday, 28 May 2010 07:04 (fifteen years ago)

picture could not be better

― max, Friday, 28 May 2010 07:04 (fifteen years ago)

two years pass...

https://twitter.com/hendopolis/status/302199018631614465/photo/1

scum. pure scum. no other word. 'cunts' isn't strong enough. scum.

― Black Sabbath - violence, religious obscurantism (imago), Friday, 15 February 2013 01:30 (thirteen years ago)

jesus. agreed.

― SOYLENT GREEN IS SHEEPLE (stevie), Friday, 15 February 2013 07:40 (thirteen years ago)

I was sceptical when I saw this being tweeted around, but it seems it's true? FFS.

― emil.y, Friday, 15 February 2013 08:44 (thirteen years ago)

They've long been my most hated media outlet for all sorts of reasons, but they keep excelling themselves. Would describe them as intractably evil now.

― Black Sabbath - violence, religious obscurantism (imago), Friday, 15 February 2013 10:10 (thirteen years ago)

They're just doing what their readers seem to want - a Good Story, and an excuse to get out the Kleenex.

As long as people keep buying the paper, they'll keep on doing it.

― Here he is with the classic "Poème Électronique." Good track (Marcello Carlin), Friday, 15 February 2013 10:53 (thirteen years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Heybq1s79Y

― Neil S, Friday, 15 February 2013 11:47 (thirteen years ago)

The thing is, people haven't stopped reading it. They didn't even do so during the whole Leveson thing. Probably because people tend to have a curious sense of loyalty to the newspaper of their choice - "Well, I'm going to carry on reading the Sun because I've always read the Sun, the Sun is my paper etc." - just as people will go on voting, blindly, for the same political party, regardless of what it's offering.

― Here he is with the classic "Poème Électronique." Good track (Marcello Carlin), Friday, 15 February 2013 11:54 (thirteen years ago)

a Good Story, and an excuse to get out the Kleenex.

Uhhhhhhhh, but what are they intending to do with the Kleenex?

― Le petit chat est mort (Tom D.), Friday, 15 February 2013 11:58 (thirteen years ago)

Yeah d00d I don't think many Sun readers are going to be crying over this

― I turned away to leave these few in thought and contemplation (Bananaman Begins), Friday, 15 February 2013 12:02 (thirteen years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xECUrlnXCqk

― On Being Blue (Da Ba Dee): A Philosophical Inquiry (wins), Friday, 15 February 2013 12:15 (thirteen years ago)

Crying tears of semen from out of their penises, am i veridical or am i not veridical

― glumdalclitch, Friday, 15 February 2013 12:24 (thirteen years ago)

veridiculous

― Mark G, Friday, 15 February 2013 12:35 (thirteen years ago)

Relax, the joke was good enough it can survive a bit of pummelling into the ground.

― I turned away to leave these few in thought and contemplation (Bananaman Begins), Friday, 15 February 2013 12:38 (thirteen years ago)

god, fuck the sun 4 real

― lex pretend, Friday, 15 February 2013 12:43 (thirteen years ago)

I'm sure millions of men do on a daily basis...

― Here he is with the classic "Poème Électronique." Good track (Marcello Carlin), Friday, 15 February 2013 13:40 (thirteen years ago)

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