Crackers

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What's the best thing you've ever got out of a cracker?

I would ask about the worst too but jesus, where to begin?

― Tom, Tuesday, 18 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

A blow job.

― Mark C, Tuesday, 18 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Good grief. Tell us more.

― N., Tuesday, 18 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I think this all depends on the definition of the word 'cracker,' you realize. ;-)

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 18 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh, that's boring then. The best thing I've got is an indoor firework that resulted in my setting alight to the tablecloth and my dad sending to my room and telling me that I had 'killed Christmas stone dead'. Either that, or a mini screwdriver set.

― N., Tuesday, 18 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I got a dream catcher out of a feng shui cracker.

― james, Tuesday, 18 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

what in the fuck is a cracker? talk english dammit.

― jess, Tuesday, 18 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Patch! Your dad sounds ace! Does he have a beard? I got a tiny piece of plastic from a cracker once, I couldn't tell waht it was, but it was pretty exciting, I can tell you. I like setting fire to the strip of explody stuff instead. It's more entertaining. Also, why are those paper hats so big? Are the cracker companies catering for afros?

― alix, Tuesday, 18 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Big? Mine always rip in half because of my enormous head.

― Tom, Tuesday, 18 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

four things that make the UK great: xmas crackers and lazy builders, lousy drugz and mind the gap

― mark s, Tuesday, 18 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

jess, crackers = these things that you pull with a friend (you can do it by yourself, but that sorta defeats the purpose). It goes bang and something falls out.

― james, Tuesday, 18 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

That's usually how it happens, doesn't it?

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 18 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

that was bad even for you.

― jess, Tuesday, 18 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

how 'bout pinatas?

― Samantha, Tuesday, 18 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

the best thing of course is watching my proper wasp grandmother wear a silly paper crown.

― anthony, Tuesday, 18 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Reading this thread where "cracker" = "white redneck" is making my entire holiday season.

― Dan Perry, Tuesday, 18 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Best = little puppy dog key chain. It had scary red eyes. Worst = that my family insists on wearing the funny little hats and reading the jokes in french, english and oh lets be funny and read them in spanish even though we don't speak it!

― Evangeline, Tuesday, 18 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

aw jeez, I thought this was gonna be about crackers that you eat. I am passionate about that kind of cracker. Christmas crackers are always disappointing, they always have a joke that says:

My dog has no nose!
How does he smell?
Terrible!

― rainy, Tuesday, 18 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Hi, I have enjoyed the New Year's crackers with all of the party favors inside! The hats, whistles sparklers! What fun! :)

― Gale Deslongchamps, Tuesday, 18 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Where can I find these joke-cracking X-mas crackers?

― Honda, Tuesday, 18 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Hair bobbles with monster animals on them. Also BANG ... then gun smoke smell.

― ducklingmonster, Wednesday, 19 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Crackers from the Co-op always used to have a game like ludo or snakes and ladders on the underside of the box. Now that was cool.

― MarkH, Wednesday, 19 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

the crackers the other day had PARTY POPPERS inside, yet more bangs and gunsmoke hurrah! the best evah thing i got was a mini screwdriver set which was most useful for fixing me mam's glasses when they broke. once we also got tiny blue plastic animals which me and my boyfwiend wore around our wrists (on party popper string!) until they broke to, er, signify our undying love or something. he got a croc and i got a kitty!

― katie, Wednesday, 19 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I so read that as PARTY POOPERS, like that Nick Dastoor. He ruins every Christmas for me.

However, you can get adult crackers, whereby the contents are not a million miles from my initial answer... Try Ann Summers for details.

― Mark C, Wednesday, 19 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

ooohh! bet they're not suitable for family dinners though! :)

― katie, Wednesday, 19 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

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