Garu G Identity Theft

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Someone has registered my 'Garu G' identity. I have noticed several posts made in the last 48 hours, and some less recently made by and imposter. This happened to me once before with one of my other characters 'Amazing Randy', and it's not on. Now I have to retire Garu. I know this community considered him a troll, but he was a genuine, fully realised character who must now suffer the abuse of some "hilarious" regular who doesn't understand the intricacies of Garu's character enough to do him justice (and who is probably American), making unfunny impersonations. When Randy was hijacked, he was used to make racist and homophobic remarks that contradicted his fun, carefree personality. Randy gave joy and happiness to alot of people through his singing threads, and cheeky "hi dere" exclamations. You'll find his idiosyncratic use of language rife amongst internet message boards web-wide; ILX's own Noise Board for example, pilfers much of its humour from the Scandinavian's lexicon.

Now Garu's time is up. I know there is nothing that can be done about this. When I began this thread, I was angry, I wanted to point fingers and name names. Now, just thinking about the rich humour of the raucous Yorkshireman, has calmed me. I would like to make it clear then, that any posts purporting to be made by Garu in the future, are in fact, not the real deal. I trust that it rests on the conscience of the identity thief to take responsibility for his actions and cease his poor impersonations.

Yours, on behalf of The Amazing Randy and Garu G,

― CC, Tuesday, 16 August 2005 13:13 (twenty years ago)

I think everyone and their pooey gran realized this had happened.

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 16 August 2005 13:16 (twenty years ago)

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 16 August 2005 13:18 (twenty years ago)

Shame though, Garu is my favourite ilxor. My secret ILX fantasy was that one day I'd be able to reveal that I was the true Garu G. Except i couldn't, cos I wasn't.

― JimD (JimD), Tuesday, 16 August 2005 13:19 (twenty years ago)

AND ME NAN!

― XGARU-G (mark grout), Tuesday, 16 August 2005 13:19 (twenty years ago)

RIP Garu
you will be sorely missed.

― Fetchboy (Felcher), Tuesday, 16 August 2005 13:19 (twenty years ago)

I knew something had gone awry with Garu lately. It's a shame.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Tuesday, 16 August 2005 13:21 (twenty years ago)

Blimey. I feel something akin to sadness at the passing of an era.

― Mrs. Cranky (From Crankytown) (kate), Tuesday, 16 August 2005 13:22 (twenty years ago)

I hope some of the better GARUers continue to uphold the torch. Curtis was good at it. But CC is right, too many imposters just don't get it and sully GARU G's good name. A pox on them and their subpar use of scat-cum-nan imagery.

― Affectian (Affectian), Tuesday, 16 August 2005 13:25 (twenty years ago)

GOD BLESS YA LAD GOD BLESS YA.

― GARUGNO.1FAN, Tuesday, 16 August 2005 13:26 (twenty years ago)

i haven't a clue who Garu G is

― Ste (Fuzzy), Tuesday, 16 August 2005 13:37 (twenty years ago)

According to Google image search, this is Garu G:

http://blog.khan.co.kr/usrinfo/g/a/garu3/thbnL_garu3_20040725162446.jpg

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 16 August 2005 13:39 (twenty years ago)

Always leave them wanting more.

― On one hand I've got myself to blame (Lynskey), Tuesday, 16 August 2005 13:44 (twenty years ago)

i felt an autumnal chill reading this. farewell, garu.

― N_RQ, Tuesday, 16 August 2005 13:46 (twenty years ago)

http://www.ttvnol.com/uploaded/garu333/g13.jpg

Perhaps one of these ladies is Garu's nan?

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 16 August 2005 13:47 (twenty years ago)

wow. i mean... wow.

― g-kit (g-kit), Tuesday, 16 August 2005 13:50 (twenty years ago)

I'm cry-ying.

― The Walrus, Tuesday, 16 August 2005 13:57 (twenty years ago)

Goo goo ga joob!

― The Eggman (Ken L), Tuesday, 16 August 2005 14:00 (twenty years ago)

CC OTM.

― Michael Philip Philip Philip Avoidant (Ferg), Tuesday, 16 August 2005 14:16 (twenty years ago)

Even if he's lying.

― Michael Philip Philip Philip Avoidant (Ferg), Tuesday, 16 August 2005 14:17 (twenty years ago)

I must confess that I "stole" Garu G and used his posts on another forum, but I have never posted as him here.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 16 August 2005 15:25 (twenty years ago)

link plz, nick.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 16 August 2005 15:27 (twenty years ago)

marissa marchant's still going strong, at least

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 16 August 2005 15:45 (twenty years ago)

Excellent post and characters, but this: (and who is probably American) seemed like a cheap shot.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Tuesday, 16 August 2005 16:21 (twenty years ago)

I, too, will miss Garu G, and his gran's storied flange.

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Tuesday, 16 August 2005 16:38 (twenty years ago)

this is like a funeral where you see old friends and family members you haven't spoken to in years.

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 16 August 2005 16:45 (twenty years ago)

Thanks for the mental image of the Sears Tower, J0hn.

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 16 August 2005 16:46 (twenty years ago)

RIP Garu, you're a G. I feel you on the copycats, they're like the people who do bad copycat threads but you can't even say anything about them because CORNY PEOPLE STICK TOGETHER and you have to deal with at least ten consolidated happy meal motherfuckers simultaneously - I've had to hold back so many times.. Godspeed Garu, a true original

― LeCoq (LeCoq), Tuesday, 16 August 2005 17:10 (twenty years ago)

haha, consolidated happy meal motherfuckers, you are a master wordsmith LC

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 16 August 2005 17:12 (twenty years ago)

quitting while ahead = good. Far too much over-rating going on here though. it was good but it wasn't THAT good. Morley made an interesting point about this on the Late Review last week - about how though it was great that G's efficiency combined with succinctness puts him leagues above CRW and also his former incarnation, but this alone doesn't really warrant the 'all-too-easily-understood genius' tag being bandied around by the press. It took Kermode as ever though to point out that if you're going to cry off about being imitated, however poorly, you might want to develop a schtick that's difficult to reproduce without compromising on the efficiency and deftness rightfully praised in this instance.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Tuesday, 16 August 2005 17:32 (twenty years ago)

;^ (

http://home.att.net/~condocat/pics/taps1.jpg

― amon (eman), Tuesday, 16 August 2005 22:41 (twenty years ago)

x post

Mark Kermode's a Rockist fuck tho.
Frank Kermode's okay.

― I Ain't No Addict, Whoever Heard of a Junkie as Old as Me? (noodle vague), Tuesday, 16 August 2005 22:43 (twenty years ago)

I haven't been this upset since Lacey Davenport passed away.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Tuesday, 16 August 2005 22:44 (twenty years ago)

I've made some fake-GARU posts on ILX but I didn't register the name.

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Tuesday, 16 August 2005 22:50 (twenty years ago)

I love you Garu! If I had a flange you could do your business in it!

― Ian Riese-Moraine: a casualty of social estrangement. (Eastern Mantra), Tuesday, 16 August 2005 23:15 (twenty years ago)

That is nasty.

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 16 August 2005 23:23 (twenty years ago)

Ahh, I have a penchant for saying the repulsive!

― Ian Riese-Moraine: a casualty of social estrangement. (Eastern Mantra), Tuesday, 16 August 2005 23:26 (twenty years ago)

is frank kermode mark kermode's dad? the apple fell far from the tree!

― N_RQ, Wednesday, 17 August 2005 08:01 (twenty years ago)

― amon (eman), Thursday, 18 August 2005 00:13 (twenty years ago)

four weeks pass...

I miss (teh real) Garu G... :'-(

― Gerard (Gerard), Friday, 16 September 2005 15:35 (twenty years ago)

I am coping OK.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Friday, 16 September 2005 15:44 (twenty years ago)

So you're not even remotely curious about the life and times of his GRAN?

― Gerard (Gerard), Friday, 16 September 2005 15:47 (twenty years ago)

Garu Gran clearly defined infirmity.

― Who the hell do you THINK I am? I'm the goddamn Batman! (Barima), Friday, 16 September 2005 15:57 (twenty years ago)

was he south or west yorkshire?

i'm thinking barnsley

― terry lennox. (gareth), Friday, 16 September 2005 16:29 (twenty years ago)

west yorkshire, defntly.

from way-keh, perhaps.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 16 September 2005 16:34 (twenty years ago)

five years pass...

just been reading this again and lolling: GARU G APPRECIATION THREAD

― NI, Friday, 8 October 2010 11:52 (fifteen years ago)

NI OTM, tears coming out over here

― bitchmaid (sic), Friday, 8 October 2010 13:53 (fifteen years ago)

ive hated ilx since garu died. buncha twee flaggots fuck u

― amon (eman)

― buzza, Friday, 8 October 2010 14:40 (fifteen years ago)

Amazing Randy was Scandinavian??

― dude (del), Friday, 8 October 2010 14:56 (fifteen years ago)

jlol

― am0n, Friday, 8 October 2010 16:09 (fifteen years ago)

scandanaifian

― buzza, Friday, 8 October 2010 16:12 (fifteen years ago)

just found out that garu g was actually based on a friend of mine:

"i started garu g! it was based on this guy niche ian knows, but then someone started posting on behalf of him and completely ruined the joke"

seriously proud right now

― NI, Friday, 8 October 2010 19:03 (fifteen years ago)

does 'beatles fan'/'sylvester stallone' still post on ilx?

― NI, Friday, 8 October 2010 19:05 (fifteen years ago)

two years pass...

"i started garu g! it was based on this guy niche ian knows, but then someone started posting on behalf of him and completely ruined the joke"

woah, don't remember this? who was behind GARU G?

― NI, Wednesday, 3 April 2013 18:29 (twelve years ago)

two years pass...

the mystery continues

― Neanderthal, Wednesday, 9 March 2016 23:29 (nine years ago)

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