Sleepwalking: embarrassing story of last night and a request for information.

-- mark p (mark.p****...), September 26th, 2004.

If you've read The Corrections, then you can call me Alfred.

I said, "What?!", and suddenly he looked at me, awake now, looked at the pillow, then looked at me and said, "Whoops, nevermind."

And the guy in the middle says, "That's weird. I only dreamed about snowskiing."

Another time I found her hanging over the side of the bed trying to touch the floor. I asked her what she was doing and she said, in a tone that suggested I was an idiot for asking "trying to push the key button!".

Another time she ran into the closet because she thought that she was in church and that I was some strange guy that she didn't know.

William, I know you haven't had sex in a while, but seriously...

For some reason, I can't read this without tearing up!

about 20 minutes after getting into bed, i was just drifting off to sleep when wham, i'm woken up by matthew leaping on top of me. "matt, you cunt!" i yelled. "wuhmmgg glrrmm," he said, getting off the bed and walking over to the window.

then he appeared to come to. "sorry, sleepwalking," he said. "need a piss." and off he heaved in the direction of the bog.

two minutes passed. i hadn't heard the toilet door open. the toilet light wasn't on. but lo, there was the unmistakable sound of someone having a big piss.

i found matthew in the last place i looked: the cupboard in my flatmate's room. he was pissing all over a big amplifier we kept in there. luckily, my flatmate was away.

i have a very, very grim memory of (stupidly) trying to point matthew - still micturating - in the direction of the bog. well done, there's now piss in the amp, in the cupboard and all over my flatmate's bed. in the end i left him to it and went back to my room.

next morning, matthew was in my cousin's bed. "i weed in the cupboard, didn't i?" i nodded and gave him a cup of tea. blood, after all, is thicker than water.

then i made him clean it all up, the filthy bastard :)

Other things I've done while sleeping:
1) removed my shirt, tied it around my head, turned on my light and told my roommate to shut the fuck up.

2) invited another roommate to "do the monkey dance" (i don't know what that means/meant, but that's what i said according to her)

3) pushed my high school best friend out of bed, causing her to have a life threatening seizure on the floor.

that last one was scary.

I might say drunkeness but minus the walking part I often do this sober. Once when I was dreaming of getting into a fight with a skinhead in a postal office line I was really punching my ex-boyfriend in the head! ah haha eh. .

My current boyrfriend said last week I woke him up, poking him on the shoulder, discreetly trying to point his attention to the opposite side of the room. When he asked me what was I going on I would give him the "shh!" sign. Weird thing is I remember waking up then but it wasn't like waking up. It was as if were talking when a split second ago we hadn't been. And I was sitting up and really didn't know what had been going on so told him nevermind and went back to sleep.

Some nights before we had jokingly discussed things we had/seen heard that led us to believe our old house is haunted. . .

It makes me wonder if I just had way too much to drink this summer and listened to too much WOLF EYES and my brain is starting to go crazy.

Oh, and I did try to explain it to the roommate. I wrote him a note apologizing that I ocasionally walk in my sleep. I haven't talked with him since though. Holy shit this is still embarrassing.

I talk about my penis in my sleep a lot. It's one of my most common subjects. One time I just started randomly saying words that had something ot do with penises and/or erections.

PENIS. ROCK. HARD. LONG. STICK. WOOD. etc.

One summer I travelled around the U.S. and spent many nights sharing hotel rooms with friends. I had to share the bed with a guy, innoncent and sweet as can be. But I remember waking up in the middle of the night because he was tickling me in his sleep. He was caressing the area just below my breasts, and murmuring his girlfriend's name. I just replaced his hand back to his side and turned over. Never mentioned it to him because it would probably needlessly make him feel weird.

That same summer many people reminded me that I talked a lot in my sleep. Even more embarrassing was that several sleeping mates told me that I sounded like I was having intensely sexual dreams as I moaned very loudly. And I don't recall having a single erotic dream during that summer!