Scolded by the Boss

Beat him to death.

make him coffee, but wee in it.

cut his head off

Eat his cheese

invite him to eat a bowl of fuck

a big bowl of fuck!

with tinsel

A bucket of fuck.

And while you're there, tell him his records are terrible. Even "Born To Run". Especially "Born To Run".

Let it go. Life is too short, and hey - we bosses make mistakes every now and then.

cut petes head off

Burn Pete at the stake, Capitalist, Imperialist running-dog that he is.

Then sacrifice goats after that. You can't be too careful, really.

I guess I mostly feel liek I dont want him to get the wrong impression of me

If your contributions here are a true reflection, then the wrong impression is precisely what you do want your boss to get, Mik e.

Trust me, if he's the boss, he doesn't have an impression of you at all. Life is too short to have impressions of ones minions.

It also makes it much harder to fire 'em if you, like, know them.

Tell yr boss to visit this site then Mike, so he will appreciate the many facets of yr character...

perhaps some nestle quik?

Hanle y Deus, just smite him.

Hee hee hee, well, if my experience with bosses tells me anything, it's that they're assholes. I was always correcting my boss for jumping on me. Know what happened? He jumped on me more sneakily every day, trying to catch me in a fuck up, rather than barking randomly like an idiot. Ya see, if bosses want to yell at you, it will eat at their guts until they find a way. After years of putting my boss in his place and caring less about his power over me (hard to respect a guy like that), there was a not-so-subtle tension between us that led to my being laid off with a smile and that brilliant line I'll never forget, "You're just too good to be doing it all yourself". So, what it really boils down to, is he has the power to get rid of YOU, not the other way around. His yelling at you is his way of exercising that power, by dismissing you figuratively, rather than literally. You can't win with most bosses. I believe the people who become bosses actually become bosses because the fit the boss persona. It takes a certain kind of person to be embarrassingly domineering, opiniated and egotistical without batting an eyelash.

We bosses aren't all good Spock - but its good to see an employee see the intricate selection of skills which make up our complex job.

Batting an eyelid is a bad idea. You may end up batting the eye = squidgy mush of whats left of eye and blindness.

There are actually good bosses. My girlfriend's mother, for instance. But, there are the buttwipes, too. Seems most of them are buttwipes. And, unfortunately, being a buttwipe seems to "get the job done", as they say. If I work for any one person again, I want to make sure s/he's not a manipulative prick. As it is, I like freelancing, especially from home.

I still think you should "rebutt"...

IF YOU CAN IMAGINE IT, I ACTUALLY HAVE BEEN A BOSS TWICE AT JOBS, AND I WAS ALWAYS RATHER LASSAIZ FAIRE. I OFTEN LOOKED DOWN ON EMPLOYEES FOR CLEANING TOO MUCH AND NOT RELAXING ENOUGH

revive:

on friday (sent about 5 minutes after i'd left for the weekend) the boss sent a couple of us an email:

Looking at your progress report including past progress I am very disappointed that you have made very slow progress in relation to other team members who are making satisfactory progress...

My estimate of the work assigned to you was 15 man days...

I have indicated several times the need for efficiency and this issue is no longer a project management issue for me so unless the situation improves I will be compelled to refer your case to our HR.

which i thought was a bit off. we've never been given a deadline or project plan for this work which we're doing speculatively - we haven't been contracted to do it yet so, consequently, we've been taking it easy and, yes, i admit, slacking somewhat. and to use email rather than just talking to us is k-weasely.

anyway, today i sat down and did some sums. we got assigned the new piece of work at the start of the year. the snotty email came on valentines day, 6 weeks later, 30 working days. i've had 6 days holiday during that time and one day off for the doctor. also there was (at least) a two week period where we were unable to work because the database was down. 30 - 6 - 1 - 10 = 13. he's complaining that the work he'd given me 15 days to do wasn't finished 13 working days later and because of this he was going to sic HR onto me (effectively threatening us with being fired).

pah!

k

and he used 'issue' twice in the same sentence.
tssr.

cut his head off!

You have to document everything you do - do a stats report on how much you have done if you can. My boss' boss has gotten into the habit of blaming me first when something goes wrong. Three times now he has been completely wrong - the error was someone else's doing. But he cuts me off when I try to explain that it wasn't my fault, or he is really sarcastic.

Yet when he sends out departmental announcements there are misspellings, even though he is so arrogant about his own intelligence, which he overrates. The people on the bottom, the assistants, usually have a better idea of what is going on than the people above. I mean, they know all of the procedures and the systems and stuff. For example, I'm the only one who watches the budget here, even though I'm not paid to, and so I'm very aware of how the kingpin is wasting student's money and overexpending. Then he tries to blame it on people beneath him. But the stats don't lie.

He's always bitching about how many "backlogs" I have, so I did a stats report on my work. It turns out that I am doing nearly twice as much as the guy next to me, who is supposed to have the same responsibilities. So I printed out the stats that show how much work I've done and how much he has done. I've left them on my desk in case they want to go snooping.

I hate that.