eating disorders - can we talk?

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so last night i, uh, purged. for the first time in about 2 yrs. i thought i was "over it," but i guess i was proven wrong. i've been struggling with one eating disorder or another for what seems like most of my adult life. (a nasty riposte to anyone who thinks men dont suffer from body image issues or cultural stereotypes...even subcultural stereotypes...hello skinny indie boy.) i don't quite know how to feel about it as this point. i have talked about it with at least one person close to me, but sometimes i wonder if those close to you can really offer any sort of distanced, nuanced discussion about this sort of thing. i know this can be a tough thing to talk about, so stay anonymous if you wish, but i'm personally sick of anonymity.

― jess, Wednesday, 19 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

you know the drill.

― jess, Wednesday, 19 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

hey jess. there was a really bad time of my life once when I guess I had some sort of eating disorder in that I didn't really eat anything for about a year. More of a symptom of depression than a thing in itself maybe, but I had a pretty poor self image all round.

I think I felt I really didn't deserve anything, not even food. And also I had this really big desire to not be noticed, even to disappear, fade away - which I kind of almost did. When I see photos of myself from that time, I feel really sorry for myself, but in a distanced kind of way, like it's another person.

I don't really see how I could be helping by saying this, there's not really anything anyone can do for you except be patient and kind and love you and have faith in you, even if sometimes you don't feel that way for yourself.

Also I guess if other people let you know if thay have been through something similar, it can maybe dissolve any feelings of shame or embarrassment. I remember feeling really ashamed anyway, people would invite me for a meal and I would nearly cry with how disempowered and just, inhuman I felt.

Um, hang in there jess. Just try to take care of your body, do whatever you can to be relaxed about your body, your self-image. If I think of something better to say I will, I apologise if this sounds clumsy.

― rainy, Wednesday, 19 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Feebles love.

― Nicole, Wednesday, 19 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Sorry, wrong thread. I'm kind of impaired tonight. I am not trying to make light of the problems that are being talked about here.

― Nicole, Wednesday, 19 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I feel really stupid for what I just wrote, I didn't mean for it to come out sounding so self-centered. I was just trying to bring my own experience to the issue and be supportive. It's hard to talk about though, even I don't really understand how I feel about it.

― rainy, Wednesday, 19 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i wish i knew what to say jess.

― anthony, Wednesday, 19 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

seek professional help with courage

― Mike Hanle y, Wednesday, 19 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Hey Jess, I don't really know you but I want to help as much as I can. Almost all, if not all, of my girlfriends have an eating disorder of sorts. One was three years bulimic before her parents caught her after dinner. Another one did it through bulimia to anorexia to self-mutilation. Another one constantly is on a diet, make that three or four. The first girl that I talked about was made to a psychiatrist for about six months and it just made it worse. She hated it there and ended up hating her parents even more. Now she does what you did last night...I understand you though.

I had a sort of eating disorder for a while where I would occaisionally throw up almost everything I ate or just plain starve myself. I tell you, it's not worth it. Society pushes this image of people that are abnormally skinny or even more frequently - who aren't real. The pictures that they take of models in ads and whatnot are TOUCHED UP. They are redone to make them look skinnier, making it nearly impossible to look like them unless one got some really nasty surgery.

My advice about seeking professional help is do it only if you think it will help you or you'll be open with the psychiatrist. Most people are forced and so it actually does opposite results. I personally think that it would help to talk to someone, especially since it would be someone you would need to learn to trust.

It's hard to, but it sounds like you were doing well. 2 years is a lot. If you can hold out for that long, I think you're strong enough not to do it again. Believe in yourself and don't conform to society - it's sick and twisted and not worth it.

― kimera, Thursday, 20 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I'm a boy and I've suffered from an eating disorder for two years. A lot of my "issues" had come from an unhealthy family relationship with food. I have an aunt hooked on laxatives. I also have general self esteem problems though I admit that my disorder is at least influenced by (moodswings to) nacissism. And it hasn't been helped by comparison to many of my skinny indie boy friends, even though I'm kinda average weightwise I purge when I'm bored and when I lack routine as well as if i don't exercise. Good luck with your problem Jess because I suppose I've never dealt with mine.

― x, Thursday, 20 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Is your body the problem? I always suspect that your emotional problems are the caure, not so much the physical. The only advice You will be stuck with it for the rest of your life. That is if you address the problem. You have to approach it, deal with it. To let it slumber or just ignore it is wrong. And I agree, your close ones aren't necessarily the ones that can help you. Maybe because they are too close or maybe because they will just give you the wrong advice. Also because maybe you feel uncomfortable telling them. Sometimes just going to a therapist for a couple of times might help. I use you but one time it was I. It took me about three years to get over the eating disorder.
Has there been a problem recently that you think you can't cope with?
I hope I didn't come across as cold or distant or whatever.

― helenfordsdale, Thursday, 20 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Hi, I had a look on the British Medical Journal website, and this website was referenced in an article:

here

I hope it is of some use to you. Best Wishes.

― james, Thursday, 20 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

fourteen years pass...

Motion to move this thread to 77, or at least ILTMI.

― the clarence thomas of shoegaze (monster mash), Saturday, 19 March 2016 04:58 (nine years ago)

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