WHY DAVE CUTLER CHIEF ARCHITECT OF NT DID NOT INCLUDE DISK OPTIMIZATION REMAINS A MYSTERY BY TIM

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IM TRY TO HELP MY BROTHER FRED. FRED WATCHED THOSE SHOWS CALLED UNSLOVED MYSTERIES. I SAW THOSE SHOWS TOO. SOME OF THOSE SHOWS. THEY JUST TRY HARD TO UNSLOVE THE MYSTERY. I FOUND A UNSLOVED MYSTERY JUST FOR FRED AND AM HELP HIM SLOVE IT FOR GOOD PRACTICE. FRED HAVES A WISH. HE WANTS TO BE THE UNSLOVER. THE SLOVER OF MYSTERIES. I SAID TO FRED THE ASKING QUESTION. I SAID WHY FRED YOU WANT TO BE THAT UNSLOVER ON THAT SHOW. THEY AREADY HAVE THE UNSLOVER. THEY CANT HAVED TWO UNSLOVERS BOTH SAYING WELCOME TO UNSLOVED MYSTERIES AT TE SAME TIME AND TRYING TO UNSLOVE THE MYSTERY AT SAME TIME. THAT WOULD BE CONFUSSING. PEOPLE WOULD FORGET ABOUT EVERTHING AND JUST WONDER WHICH ONE THE REAL UNSLOVER WAS AND THEN THAT WOULD BE THE MYSTERY TO SLOVE.

THEN FRED SAID ME THAT HE WONT JUST BE 2# UNSLOVER. FRED WONT HAVE THAT. FRED THINKEDS ABOUT HIS WISH A WHOLE LOT. THAT GUY. THAT UNSLOVER. HES OLD. THEY CANT JUST GET RID OF THE SHOW WHEN HE GOES INTO THAT COFFIN. THE UNSLOVING DONT GO IN WITH HIM. THATS FOR SOMEONE ELSE NEXT TO DO ON THAT TEEV SHOW. HE COULD GO IN THAT COFFIN ANY MINUTE. AND FRED HAVES NOT ALOT TIME TO WASTE IF HE WANTS TO BE THE NEXT UNSLOVER. FRED SAYS HE KNOWS A EMRGENCY WHEN HE SEES IT. IM HELPING MY BROTHER FRED. I HAVE TO. I HAVE TO HELP HIM BECOME THE NEXT UNSLOVER QWIK.

THAT I FOUND THIS JUST FOR FRED.

MS-DOS up to version 5 and Windows NT through version 4 did not come with any defragmentation utility much less disk optimization. Why Dave Cutler, chief architect of NT did not include disk optimization remains a mystery, as apparently he had included disk optimization in all his very similar operating systems from VMS back to his work supporting OSs at Carnegie Mellon.

UNSLOVED MYSTERY. UNSLOVED MYSTERY IT SAIDS. UNSLOVED MYSTERY OF DAVE CUTLER.

THAT GUY. THAT DAVE CUTLER. HE DID THINGS TO THE COMPUTERS BRAINS INSIDES. ONE DAY HE FORGETTED SOME STUFF ABOUT DOING PLAIN OLD REGULUR THINGS TO THE COMPUTERS BRAINS I GUESS. I DONT KNOW WHAT HE FORGETTED BUT I GUESS HE FORGETTED PRETTY BAD ABOUT IT OR WHY THEY WRIT THOSE THINGS DONE. THEY WANT TO KNOW MORE WHY HE FORGGETTED. THEY ARE USING THE ASKING QUESTION CALLED WHY. BECOS THEY WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT IT. I DONT KNOW DAVE CUTLER OR WHAT TO DO WITH HIM. I DONT KNOW BRAINS OF A COMPUTER OR WHAT TO DO WITH HIM. ONLY DAVE CUTLER DOES KNOW.

I JUST WANT TO HELPED FRED BECOME THE UNSLOVER ASAP. TONIGHTS THE NIGHT. IM ON THE INTERNET KEYBOARD. KFC HAS GIVED IMPORTONT TRUSTS IN ME BY HAVING A TRY GOES ON THE QUESTION NEVER GOTTEN ANSEREDS. WELL LETS SEE I GUESS.

FIRST WE HAVE TO EAT SOMETHING TO EAT. UNSLOVING A TUFF ONE ABOUT DAVE CUTLER AND THOSE COMPUTERS COULD TAKE A LONG TIME. BUT WERE LEARNING. AND EATING TOO. FRED HAD A TRY GO ON A FLOPPY DISK YESTERDAY. AND THEN JUST WONDERING ABOUT DAVE CUTLER A WHOLE LOT. BUT THAT DIDNT MAKE FRED ANY MORE TO UNSLOVE THE MYSTERY. THAT DIDNT MAKE FRED ANY MORE EXPERTIBBLE THEN FRED WAS LAST TIME I SAW. I GUESS WE NEED A PLAN. NOT ANY OLD PLAN. WE NEED PLAN OF LEARN TO FIND OUT HOW TO UNSLOVE MYSTERY OF DAVE CUTLER. THATS NOT JUST ANY OLD PLAN. THATS A PLAN FOR UNSLOVING.

WE JUST NEEDS TO BE MORE EXPERTIBBLE ABOUT ALL THAT THING. THAT HAVES SOMETHING TO DO WITH A COMPUTER. JUST DONT KNOW WHAT IS ALL. WE COULD TAKE A LONG TIME. I READ THAT BOOK WHERE THEY BULDED THOSE BIG THINGS AND JUST LIKE THAT IT COULD TAKE A LOT OF TIME. I HOPE NOT THOUGH. ME AND FRED HAVES OTHER THINGS TO DO TOO. NOT JUST TRY AND THINK OF DAVE CUTLER THINGS. OTHER THIGNGS TOO. THAT EVEN NOT HAVES ANYTHING TO DO WITH DAVE CUTLER AND THAT UNSLOVED MYSTERY. BUT NONE THOSED THINGS MAKE FRED THE BETTER UNSLOVER.

ITS TUFF. FRED HAVES BEEN TELLING ME. FRED DECIDED HE WOULD BE THE NEXT ONE THAT SAYS WELCOME TO UNSLOVED MYSTERIES NO MATTER WHAT.

FRED JUST STANDS THERE WAITING TO SAY UNSLOVED MYSTERIES AT THE RIGHT TIME. IT TAKES PRACTICE TOO. WHAT IF THE UNSLOVER JUST STOOD THERE. WHAT IF IT COULD OF HAPPENED JUST LIKE THAT. THAT WOULD BE TERIBBLE. PEOPLE WOULD SAY. WHATS HAPPENED TO THE UNSLOVER. AND THEN WHAT WOULD HAPPEN. FRED KNOWS WHAT WOULD HAPPEN. IT WOULD BECOME THE UNSLOVED MYSTERY WHY THE UNSLOVER JUSTS STAND THERE. FRED SAYS THAT CANT HAPPEN WITH HIM. FRED SAIDS ITS HIS GURANTEE. FRED IS 100% FOR UNSLOVING THE MYSTERY.

OR WHEN THE COMMCERCIAL FOR BUY THESE FISHSTICKS HAPPENS FRED JUST SAYS UNSLOVED MYSTERIES AND JUST GOES AWAY FOR THE COMMERCIAL. BUT FRED DOESNT JUST GOES AWAYS FOR REAL. THATS JUST A TV TRICK TO AMAZE LIKE RANDY. FREDS JUST STAND THERE AND GET READY FOR WHEN THEY NEED HIM TO SAY UNSLOVED MYSTERIES AGAIN. PEOPLE WATCHING TV KNOW WHATS GOING ON AND NOT GET CONSFUED WITH THE COMMERCIALS. THATS FREDS WORK. THEY NEED TO BE READY TO HELP SLOVE THE MYSTERY. THEY CANT WONDER WHERE FRED WENT OR WHY THE BUY THESE FISH STICKS IS HAPPENED. THEY NEED FRED TO BRINGED THEM BACK TO UNSLOVING THE MYSTERIES AND JUST FORGET ABOUT THOSE FISH STICKS FOR RIGHT NOW. BECOS FREDS THE UNSLOVER.

SOMEBODY TO HELP US LEARN TO UNSLOVE BETTER.

― TIM@KFC.EDU, Wednesday, 7 September 2005 10:00 (twenty years ago)

Hooray for the mazing Randy.

HI DERE.

― Pete (Pete), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 10:03 (twenty years ago)

disk optimization is for gays

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 10:04 (twenty years ago)

MYSTERY SOLVED!

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 10:04 (twenty years ago)

SLOVED you mean

― Raymond Douglas Dadaismus (Dada), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 10:07 (twenty years ago)

THEY SHOULD GET PAUL NEWMAN.

― when something smacks of something (dave225.3), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 11:24 (twenty years ago)

YOU KNOW ALOT ABOUT PAUL NEWMAN.

― TIM@KFC.EDU, Wednesday, 7 September 2005 11:33 (twenty years ago)

How his eyes got so sexie is the great unsolved mystery.

― when something smacks of something (dave225.3), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 11:34 (twenty years ago)

ANOTHER UNSLOVED MYSTERY FOR THAT NEXTS WEEK SHOW. THIS WEEKS SHOW NOW ALL DONE WITH. GOODNIGHT LADIES AND GENTLEMAN FROM FRED THE SLOVER.

THAT LOOKS GOOD LIKE THAT.

― TIM@KFC.EDU, Wednesday, 7 September 2005 11:43 (twenty years ago)

What I love is that Tim/Fred apparently doesn't know about the allcaps key or web spell check but he does know enough HTML to use italics.

― J (Jay), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 12:03 (twenty years ago)

HI I LIKED THAT STORY A WHOLE BUNCH WAHT IS YOUR NAME HI MY NAME IS TONY MAYBE WE COULD HANG OUT THAT WOULD BE COOL

― TONY TIGER, Thursday, 8 September 2005 00:36 (twenty years ago)

WE ARE HANGING OUT RIGHT NOW DEAR TOMMY. HI. HAVE YOU UNSLOVED ANY MYSTERIES. ME AND FREDS BEEN GETTING BETTER AT THE SLOVING. I REALLY THINK SO. THAT FLOPPY DISK. WE JUST LOOKED AT THAT DISK AND THOUGHT OF DAVE CUTLER CHEF ARTICHECT OF NOT AND ALL THOSED ASKING QUESTIONS. THE DISK IT HELPEDS US CONSONRAT ON THE UNSLOVING. AND ME AND FREDS BEEN TAKE TURNS HOLDING ONTO THE FLOPPY DISKS AND JUST TRY AND THINK WHAT DOES DAVE CUTLER THINK LIKED WHEN HE HOLDS ONTO THE FLOPPY DISKS. I THINK WERE GETTTING SOMEWHERE WITH THIS TOMMY BUT DONT KNOWED FOR SURE YET. WELL TRY BACK LATER WHEN WERE 100% THE WAY THERE OK TOMMY.

― TIM@KFC.EDU, Thursday, 8 September 2005 02:37 (twenty years ago)

HI THANKS FOR LETTING ME HANG OUY IF YOU MAYBE PUTS THE DISK INTO THE COMPUTER HOLE THEN MAYBE IT WILL HAVE THE MANS STORY IN IT BECASUE I SAW A SHOW THAT SAID ALIENS WILL LEEVE ALL THERE STORYS ON DISKS LIKE COMPUYTERS DISKS AND MAYBE THAT WHAT HE DONE

― TONY TIGER, Thursday, 8 September 2005 12:38 (twenty years ago)

I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT. IT SAYS MSDOS THEN A PERIOD TO END THE SENTENCE DONE AND THEN THE WORD SYS. TOMMY MY HEADS STARTING TO HURT. THIS STUFF. I THINK THOSED ETEES YOU SAID ABOUT UPPED THERE WROTE IT ALL DONE MAYBE FOR LATER. FREDS GONE TO LOOKED IT ALL UPPED ENCYLAPEDIA BRITANICA WHERE IT SAYS FOPPY DISK. DO YOU LIKE BATS. FRED LOOKED THEM UPPED WONCE AND THERE WAS TOO MUCH TO READ FOR FRED BUT THEY HAVE FUR ON THERE HEADS. I THINK FRED MIGHT WANT JOB ABOUT BATS IF HE CANT GET JOB ABOUT SLOVING ASAP. HE DOES KNOW ABOUTS THEY HAVE FUR ON THE HEADS. THAT PUT FREDS MORE FURDER THEN SOMEONE KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT BATS RIGHT.

― TIM@KFC.EDU, Thursday, 8 September 2005 14:40 (twenty years ago)

WELL MY MOM TOLD ME THAT BATS CAN GO TO SLEPE UPSIDE DOWN SO MAYBE TAHT COULD BE HIS NEXT MYSTERY IS TO FIND OUT WHY THEYD DO THAT AND NOT IN BEDS LIKE PEOPLE DO.BECUSE THIS IS WHAT I THINK ABOUT IT IS THAT IF THE BATS WAS SLEPPING UPSIDE DOWN ALL THE TIMES THEN THEY MUST GET ALL THERE BLOOD RUSHES TO THERE HEADS BECAUSE THAT DID HAPPEN TO ME ONCE WHEM I DID HANG UPSIDE DOWN AND MY FACE WENT RED SO MAYBE THAT COULD BE HIS SECOND MYSTERY TOO

― TONY TIGER, Thursday, 8 September 2005 15:10 (twenty years ago)

TOMMY MAYBE YOU ARE REALLY A BAT AND YOUR MOTHER DIDNT TELLED YOU. I WAS AT SUPERMARKET WONCE AND SAW THE MAGAZINE. YOU KNOWS WHAT I MEAN. IT HAD A BOY ON THE COVER SAID WAS A BAT JUST LIKE A BATS A BAT. I SAW. I HAD NO 100% OF THE MONEY TO BUY IT BUT I SAW. JUST THINKING ANYWAY. MAYBE THATS WHY YOUR FACE WENT RED BECOS ITS FACE OF THE BATS YOU MAYBE HAVE.

― TIM@KFC.EDU, Thursday, 8 September 2005 15:42 (twenty years ago)

I DONT KNOW THAT IM THE BAT OR THAT IM THE PEOPLE.IT IS A HARD QUESTION I GUESS.MY MOM TOLD ME ABOUT BRIDS AND THE BEES BUT NO BATS INVLOVED.

― TONY TIGER, Thursday, 8 September 2005 16:20 (twenty years ago)

TOMMY. YOUR NOT GOING BELIVE THIS. TOMMY MY MOTHER SAID THE SAME THING YOURS DID. WOW TOMMY MY MOTHER SAID THE SAME THING ME YOURS DID. WOW TOMMY. MAYBE WE HAVE THE SAME MOTHER AND ARE REALLY BROTHERS LIKE ME AND FRED IS BROTHERS. OR WHY SHE SAYS THAT TO MORE THAN ONE TOMMY THEN. WHY SHE SAY THAT THEN TOMMY. COULD OF BE WHY SHE LIED TO YOU ABOUT NOT BEING THE BAT. COULD BE TRUE RIGHT. IM NOT 100% BUT COULD BE TRUE RIGHT. TOMMY THIS CALLS FOR OPRAH I THINK MAYBE.

TOMMY THIS SLOVING THE MYSTERY. IM GETTING BETTER AT I THINK.

― TIM@KFC.EDU, Thursday, 8 September 2005 16:57 (twenty years ago)

DEAR TIM AND FRED,

IN 1968, I BEGAN WRITING A SONG ABOUT THIS VERY QUESTION. PERHAPS AFTER YOU SLOVE YOUR MYSTERY, YOU CAN FINISH THE SONG FOR ME. THERE WILL BE AN ANSWER.

YOURS VERY TRULY,
PAUL

― SIR PAUL MCCANTERY (gabbneb), Friday, 9 September 2005 23:42 (twenty years ago)

HI MY NAMES PAUL MCCARDY
IM HAVING BIRTHDAY PARRTY
I DONT KNOWED HOW OLD I AM
THEY DIDNT BRING MY CAKE IN
THAT PAN
WITH CANDLES ON TOP TO COUNT
NO CANDLES ON TOP TO COUNT
MEANS I DONT KNOW IF IM TEN
OR FORDY SIX YEAR OLDS

I THINKED MY NAMES PAUL MCCARDY
SOMEONE WROTE IT ON A CARD TODAY
WAS IT ME OR SOMEONE ELSE WITH
NAME OF PAUL MCCARDY
I LOOKED PAUL MCCARDY IN THAT
PHONE BOOK AND SAW A WHOLE
BUNCH MAYBE WE CAN GO GET LUNCHED
TO FIND OUT WHICH ONES
NOT ME BECOS I WANT TO FINDS OUT
WHO IS ME I JUST KNOW MY NAME
MIGHT BE PAUL MCCARDY IS ALL
I HOPE THE LUNCH NOT COST TOO MUCH
I DONT HAVE LOTS OF MONEY AND
MAYBE THEY MIGHT HAVE SOME MONEY TOO
TO HELP PAY FOR THE LUNCH HAVING TOO
AND FIND OUT WHICH ONES ME
THE END OF THE SONG BY PAUL MCCARDY
WITH A GUITAR PLAYING.

WAS THAT THAT SONG YOU WROTE DONE IN 1968. ITS GOT A MYSTERY IN THE SONG. WELL THERES A LOT OF PAUL MCCARDYS AROUND AND HE NOT KNOW WHICH ONE HE IS. AND ONLY WAY TO UNSLOVE THE MYSTERY UNTIL THERES NONE MORE LEFT AND HELL JUST BE THE LEFTOVER PAUL MCCARDY AT THE TABLE.

WHATS THE ANSWER THEN PLEAZE MISTER MCCARDY. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT A ANSER IS PLEASE.

― TIM@KFC.EDU, Sunday, 11 September 2005 02:31 (twenty years ago)

hi tim and guy.whyis the letters small.anywhay wahy is the next mistery. r u in jr hihg beacause this misterys are avanced for jr high.level.
my sister sais who is hanando cortez

― mistery fan, Monday, 12 September 2005 19:19 (twenty years ago)

HI MYSTERY FAN. LETTERS WRITE SMALL SOMETIMES. LETTERS BIG SOMETIMES. THIS TIME THERES SOME BIG LETTERS. SOMETIMES YOU NEVER KNOW WHO READS WHAT. AND SOMETIMES THEY HAVES SMALL EYES MAYBE LIKE A TOADS OR FROGS HAVES EYES. YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT MIGHT WANT TO READ A TIM WRITES DONE.

IM STILL HAVE A TRY GO ON ALL THAT UNSLOVING FOR FREDS AVANCEDMENT. MAYBE FRED WILL GO TO JUNURE HIGH OR MAYBE FRED WILL GO RIGHT BEYOND TO BECOMED THE UNSLOVER ASAP. FREDS ALMOST BEYOND PASSED THE
ILLRIDDERATE. WHY NOT HE COULD OF JUST GO PASSED JUNURE HIGH AND THEN BE THE UNSLOVER. WHY NOT FRED. COULD OF JUST GO RIGHT PASSED BEYOND. BENJAMIN FRANKLING DIDNT GO TO SCHOOL AND THEN JUST WENT RIGHT BEYOND AND WAS PRESDERENT OF USA OF AMERICA. JUST WENT RIGHT PASSED BEYOND LIKE THAT. IT COULD HAPPEN WITH FRED. NOT TO BE PRESDERENT LIKE THAT. JUST TO BE THE NEXT UNSLOVER RIGHT BEYOND THAT JUNURE HIGH. HE JUST NEEDS TO UNSLOVE A LITTLE BIT FOR GOOD LUCKS SAKE IS ALL.

YOUR SISTER WANT TO KNOWS ABOUT THAT HANADO. WELL FRED IS ON THE CASE TO UNSLOVE HIM. FRED IS LOOKING FOR HIS FAN CLUB ADDRESS. FREDS BELONG TO SOME FAN CLUBS AND KNOWS ITS THE BEST WAY TO LEARN ABOUT A HUMAN BEING OR ZOO ANIMAL IS FAN CLUBS.

― TIM@KFC.EDU, Monday, 12 September 2005 20:42 (twenty years ago)

nine months pass...

― lord pooperton (ex machina), Thursday, 15 June 2006 22:18 (nineteen years ago)

Why bump own thread.

― Andrew (enneff), Thursday, 15 June 2006 23:08 (nineteen years ago)

why Vista still includes the LM hash for all passwords under 14 characters in length + reportedly doesn't allow sysadmins to set the global policy to force all passwords to be longer than 14 characters in length, eliminating said massive horrifyingly bad vulnerability, is a better question.

apparently the answer is that lots of the biggest institutions still have legacy apps on DOS they're loathe to replace. guh.

― TOMBOT (TOMBOT), Thursday, 15 June 2006 23:15 (nineteen years ago)

Dude, I wish I was TIM@KFC.EDU but I don't have the attention span to write anything as long as he does!

― lord pooperton (ex machina), Friday, 16 June 2006 13:56 (nineteen years ago)

COBOL is here to stay, just accept it.

― Rufus 3000 (Mr Noodles), Friday, 16 June 2006 14:08 (nineteen years ago)

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