Like A Retard With Safety Scissors

Also, I was laughing my ass off at this preface of a certain copy of The Tao Teh Ching today:

"If any sinologists object to anything in this translation, let him go absorb his Yang in his own Yin, as the Americans say, and give me credit for an original Masterpiece. Whatever Lao Tze said or meant, this is what I say and mean."

They used to describe Tommy Stinson as being "As cool as a short-tailed cat in a roomfull of bean bags."

Aw, poor kitty!

Here is a room apparently full of one bean bag:

http://www.osage.net/~trs13/funkystuff/ozzie-beanbag.jpg