Brian Mulroney: Class Act

"He didn't want anybody to succeed where he had failed," said Mr. Mulroney. "Trudeau's contribution was not to build Canada but to destroy it, and I had to come in and save it."

- Jean Chretien was a "vulgar" politician who made "phoney old ministerial jokes," hadn't read a book in 20 years, and was dominated by his wife.

As well, Mr. Mulroney was livid with Mr. Chretien for criticizing the Tories over free trade and then proceeding with NAFTA.

"It's just an awful bloody piece of business. Only a mean, dirty bastard would do something like that, or a f---ing stupid one. And you know what? He's both. And he's sucking in this bunch of a--holes in the press gallery in Ottawa."

- Mr. Wells was vilified for helping defeat the Meech Lake accord in 1990.

"Nothing has ever compared to the lack of principle of this son of a bitch."

- Lucien Bouchard, who left the Tory Cabinet that same year to become a leading Quebec separatist, was also blasted.

"I have never known a more vulgar expression of betrayal and deceit."

- Kim Campbell, who became prime minister in 1993, is described as a "very vain person" and Mr. Mulroney blames her for losing that year's election.

- The Ottawa press corps was a "phoney bunch of bastards" who wouldn't give Mr. Mulroney credit for anything.

"You will not find one favourable adjective in 10 years. Even f---ing Hitler had someone writing one good adjective."

VERBATIM

ON THE "YOU HAD AN OPTION, SIR" QUOTE TO JOHN TURNER, CRITICIZING HIM FOR PATRONAGE APPOINTMENTS, IN A 1984 ELECTION DEBATE: At this point, I know there's been a dramatic, historic exchange, but I wasn't sure whether I had helped or hurt my case. I really wasn't. As the debate ended, I could see from Ed Broadbent's attitude that I had scored heavily.

ON THE DECISION TO AWARD AN AIRCRAFT-MAINTENANCE CONTRACT TO MONTREAL'S BOMBARDIER INSTEAD OF WINNIPEG-BASED BRISTOL AEROSPACE: We made a very major decision at the Cabinet level, ordering the CF-18 contract into Montreal to ensure that Montreal and French Canadians have a technological foot in the 21st century. What was the response from Montrealers? "Give us the fucking Space Centre." Not even a moment to say thank you. Why would I be spending any time in Montreal? And why would any of my people. What they really need in Montreal is an NDP government.

ON SENATOR MICHEL COGGER, A CLOSE MULRONEY FRIEND WHO WAS THE SUBJECT OF AN RCMP PROBE INTO ALLEGED INFLUENCE-PEDDLING: I'm very upset by what happened, but not half as upset as my wife is. The reason I put Cogger in the Senate was to keep him out of this kind of stuff. I thought that with a position in the Senate and a modest association with the law firm, he could earn a nice living for the rest of his life. But he just can't seem to resist. He's got to have a Mercedes and not a Chevy.

ON THE ACCORD'S FAILURE: I'm discouraged by the fact that we had the sweetest deal ever known to man and it was thrown away. I'm discouraged for Canada because I know what's going to happen with these vain, stupid people in short period of time. There's a televised picture of Chretien at the Calgary leadership convention, where he hugged Clyde Wells for killing the Meech Lake Accord. That was the modern equivalent of hugging [Sir John A.] Macdonald for hanging Louis Riel.

ON CLYDE WELLS: Could I have known what Wells was going to do? It's like somebody saying, well, I suspect that this Oklahoma City bomber Timothy McVeigh down in the United States is a killer. You might've suspected that, but until you've seen him blow up the building, you had no reason to think that the guy was really going to do that.

ON ANNA PORTER, WHO PUBLISHED CLAIRE HOY'S FRIENDS IN HIGH PLACES, AN UNFLATTERING MULRONEY PORTRAIT: All that is left of the Hoy thing is that it cost Julian Porter [Ms. Porter's husband] the chief justiceship of Ontario. They came forward with him for chief justice of Ontario, and I killed it right on the spot. I killed that. And then he tried to get back in as one of the Ontario candidates for the Senate, and I killed that too."

ON LUCIEN BOUCHARD'S DEFECTION FROM CABINET TO LEAD THE BLOC QUEBECOIS: Things are not usually clear in politics, but this one is clear as hell. Bouchard thought he would take 25 or 30 people to the Bloc Quebecois. I never thought that. Bastard.

ON BOUCHARD, AGAIN: I think there's no way I could have known about Bouchard. No way. I trusted him too much. You've got to understand, I had his goddamned wedding reception in my house. That's how close he was.

STILL ON BOUCHARD: Bouchard now says, "I was never a Conservative." That's true. He can also say, "I was never a friend, I was never an ally, I was never trustworthy, I was always deceitful."

ON FORMER CABINET MINISTER PAT CARNEY, WHO WROTE A BOOK ON THE MULRONEY YEARS: She ain't going to get the time of day, and let me just tell you this, if she wrote a book -- I mean if it sold five thousand copies that would be a huge, huge success. I'd be surprised if it sold two thousand or three thousand. Who the hell is Pat Carney?

ON THE LIBERAL "RAT PACK": The Rat Pack? These are Nazis. They deal in lies and calumnies. They are the worst kind. The Liberals developed this Nazi-style caliper -- tell a lie often enough about somebody and people will believe it.

ON OTTAWA: This place is sick. They're all married to one another. They're shacked up with one another. Their wives are on the payroll of CBC. It's just awful, the goddamned incest here.

ON ALLAN FOTHERINGHAM, FORMER COLUMNIST FOR MACLEAN'S AND THE TORONTO SUN: I mean, when Fotheringham was in his prime, it was different. He was funny and entertaining, he was fresh and so on. But now he's jaded. Fotheringham -- piss on him.

ON THE NASCENT REFORM PARTY: The Reform Party is anti-everything. There's really deep-, deep-seated racism there. I still don't know what to make of Reform. I know that for the moment it's growing, but these are one-trick ponies. They're not standing on a whole lot of sound ground -- it's all negative.

ON PRESTON MANNING: Manning painted himself as being different from the rest of us lowlife -- he was like the Blessed Virgin Mary and the rest of us were a bunch of pretty bad actors.

ON BRIAN MULRONEY: You cannot name a Canadian prime minister who has done as many significant things as I did, because there are none.

ON MAUREEN McTEER: Joe's wife hates me, but then again, she hates most people.

ON JOE CLARK: It's some kind of comment that in seven years in this house, he never once invited Mila and me for lunch, breakfast or dinner. It may have been insecurity or maybe the guy just profoundly disliked me.

ON ONE OF HIS FIRST VISITS TO 24 SUSSEX DRIVE, AFTER DEFEATING JOHN TURNER IN 1984: I ordered coffee, and he ordered Perrier, in the morning. He was in pretty bad shape, the poor bugger. He was pretty hungover.

ON PIERRE TRUDEAU: He has an unbecoming habit of distorting the truth, and he has a streak of vindictiveness to him. He's infinitely more partisan than I ever thought possible. He has a streak of malice in him that is most unbecoming.

ON TRUDEAU, AGAIN: Trudeau, point of fact, was always treated with absolute contempt and derision by all of our allies. They had no time for him. It was almost a joke. The only people who thought Trudeau had any influence in world affairs were the Toronto Star. God bless them for their ignorance.

STILL ON TRUDEAU: This guy was a bully with people when he became prime minister. He was dishonest intellectually; he moved from party to party for opportunistic reasons and his record as a prime minister is absolutely mediocre.

ON SHEILA COPPS: Sheila is a partisan but she's also her own worst enemy and she'll never be a leader because she has no judgment. She never knows when to stop.

ON JEAN CHRETIEN, AFTER BREAKING PROMISES TO REPEAL THE GST AND NAFTA: The guy just swallows himself whole on NAFTA, nobody says a word. It's just been an awful bloody piece of business. Only a mean, dirty bastard would do something like that, or a fucking stupid one. And you know what? He's both. And he's sucking in this bunch of assholes in the press gallery in Ottawa.

wow, that shit made it north, too. Did he also later attack Liberal-types for using the same Nazi comparison?

I was gonna buy the new Bret Easton Ellis book this week but I may have to get this one instead, unless Huck continues to post its contents here!

And he spawned an Idol host who actually manages to be more smarmy than Ryan Seacrest!

Ben Mulroney is like Guy Smiley but less human.

HAHAHAHAHAHA I'm going to be laughing for days over this comment ...