OK you've had a loss which nobody else here can really comprehend, even those of us who've lost people ourselves. But I have to agree with Jess here and say you can't go on using your wife's death as a security blanket or a moral hammer to beat everyone else over the head with.
Why I'm even bothering to say this Marcello is because I know that you're better than this. If you were just a heartless bastard getting his kicks by insulting/upsetting people then I'd think to hell with you and not even bother. But I remember the old Marcello, I remember the insight and humour you're able to come up with when you put your mind to it, and I tell you that the old Marcello would have ripped the new one to shreds. And I'm sorry to sound presumptuous, but, God Marcello how do you think that Laura would feel if she was here to see how far you've come down? She'd be shattered. She'd want you to carry on and I hope I speak for everyone else here when I say we want you to carry on too - but not like this. You're like an injured tiger cowering in its cage, lashing out with your claws at anyone who tries to get anywhere near you.
And what'll end up happening if you carry on blowing a fuse at anything anyone else says is that people will just stop responding and ignore you "oh there he goes again - ignore him, he just wants attention." And you'll be more alone than ever. I'm sure that's not what you want.
I'm glad you're taking a break this Christmas - it sounds to me like you're sorely in need of one. You need to recharge your batteries, try and find the peace and reassurance that you so desperately crave, and then come back here when you're ready.
Because Marcello when all's said and done you are a fucking good writer and have inspired people. Look at that Pulp piece or that thing you did on Mercury Rev - that was incredible man. Or all that cool funny stuff about Jools Holland and Spiritualized. We all know the guts it must have taken you to be funny given what else you must have been going through. I'd love to see some more "Bleeding Obvious Targets" in the New Year - what about Jay-Z? And the infuriating thing is that you can still do it. Your character things like Wally and Chingford are fantastic (even if they could do with a bit more punctuation!), the way you slowly build the characters up and invent a life for them. Have you ever considered taking up writing professionally? I think you'd be good at it.
I know that we posters can't be a substitute for Laura, and you know that too - I don't suppose anyone could. But please don't bite the head off people who might actually want to be friends with you and have something in common. Look at Jess - whatever you think of him, he doesn't deserve these potshots you take at him whenever he raises his head above the parapet. And this is someone who could have been a friend to you, who's gone through something like what you've gone through and could be of some help. Or DG, or Gale, or whoever - you know, we're not monsters waiting to attack whatever it is you think we're attacking.
You need to learn not to blow your top every time someone says something here which you interpret as taking the piss out of your situation, because they're not - everyone here has their share of problems, even though I dig that in your situation you probably can't see how anyone else could suffer the way you do. That's what bereavement does to a person - clouds their vision. And PLEASE don't shut the door on people. If all you can think of is Laura - and who could blame you - then if you want to post, why not just talk about her, reminisce about the good times you had together, what she was like as a person. I'm sure we'd all want to read that.
Finally - and again I know that deep down I don't have to tell you this, you know it inside - you really should investigate the idea of bereavement counselling, or psychotherapy, or any other kind of professional help. I know you might pooh-pooh the idea, but these people are trained professionals who could find you practical ways of coming to terms with things and coming back to a normal life.
Marcello, what happened to Laura was horrible and tragic. For you we all know it's like losing a right arm. But please think about what I've said, and please - if you can - let's have the old nice Marcello back.
May peace be with you this Christmas, for 2002 and throughout your life. Thinking of you.
― Anon, Friday, 21 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)
The content of what you're saying is for Marcello to comment on, I think - but he should have to option to do so privately.
― Tom, Friday, 21 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)
― jess, Friday, 21 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)
This has really pissed me off.
a. You are a filthy coward. If you had something to say you should have posted via email. I know who you are but it's obvious you have never suffered tradegy and your writing shows it.
When you lose someone you NEED to get some normalcy back into your life. If this mean for him to be posting on greenspun, then so be it. He NEEDS IT.
As for losing his top....if you are TRULY A FRIEND which it is so screamingly not you would have patience. It's nothing to do with the people involved. It's the emotion. Marcello recieves pure emotion and works on pure emotion. It's a beautiful thing.
I think you are a screaming piece of....no, forgot it, what you wrote was scum, attention seeking, couldnt careless about Marcello scum. And you did it under an assumed name.
Time heals all wounds. And time will heal Marcello's wounds. If you arent a friend you should not comment. And it's obvious you are not. And I know who you are. And I know that you are full of shite.
― micheal reed, Friday, 21 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)
Marcello if you read this just understand that this person is being selfish and please do not listen. They do not understand.
And to psychoanalyze someone's head...it's an extremely dangerous thing to do. When you are not qualified. I know people in the field that never do such poor pop oprah winfreyeseqe psychology shit.
DEFINITELY DO NOT LISTEN MARCELLO. PLEASE. AND DON'T LET THIS CRAP FUCK WITH YOUR HEAD.
Trust me on this, M, I had the same fucks do the same thing to me and really it means, Listen, I know that someone who was your world died but it's a drag now, so get it together....
Obviously that is what they meant. But it takes alot of time and you've got all of the time in the world, Marcello, so chill, get angry when you have to get angry, feel peaceful when you have to feel peaceful and don't let stupuid fucks psycho analyse you. One good thing, positive thing, is that you see who is real to you and who is not. As life becomes more precious this is a useful gift. It will be fine and just do what your heart tells you. The above post will only cause harm and confusion in a confusing strange time. It happened when my mother died suddenly - everyone becomes a funeral groupie and for about a month people rallied around only to drop off when the glamour of being a helping friend wears. Then they just want you to return to normal but remember Marcello it's a rebirth into the world and a difficult one at that. It will happen and things ease off but please please PLEASE do not take what this fucker has said to heart. I made the same mistakes and it caused so much confusion, Marcello. They only harm not help. Trust me on this one, I wouild not steer you wrong. People are afraid of death and when a tradegy happens they don't want to talk about it. You probably are experiencing this. But for godsakes, I made the mistake of trusting someone's 'advice' like this and it caused so much confusion. You'll get through this but omigod, I@m sounding like a broken record but don't let people do this to you.
O.k.?
Peace brother and have a good new year.
― micheal reed., Friday, 21 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)
This selfish fucker will burn in karmic hell. He was human and not a strange alien he will then realize that Christmas is coming up and is a hellish time.
I'm going through it at the moment Marcello. My mother died of a brain hemorrage coming home from work on January 4th, two years ago, she was in a coma for her birthday and was taken off of life support.
My father killed himself on Christmas Eve.
I'm still here and functioning. It's like after my mother died, it was so rough, Marcello, even after leaving the house, it felt like I was open sores, broken but yet I wanted to be normal and not talk about death and I wanted to talk about death. Back and forth. So odd.
The first Christmas is hard. It's like Christmas loses meaning and people seem like senseless ants rushing about and you want to scream, OH FUCK SAKES, live? Does that make sense.
If you can get the eels, second album, it's the whole process of death, there, and he's nailed it on the head. It's very soothing.
Remember Marcello I went through tradegy and I got through it. It takes time. O.k??????
Right now the sunlight of emotion is burning through your body it hurts.
And that is cool and you will be cool.
And for the stupuid fuck who wrote that message. Burn in Hell.
Avoid department stores for that month.
But I remembered going to work and being comforted by this huge sign which read 'REmember your mother on mother's day'......................
And I cried.
You will be alright. In fact, Marcello you will change but you will be different, new, and you will kick ass at life, easy scheamsy.
I'm worried that this fuck will cause confusion and really he is a selfish idiot with no understanding or perception of humanity or life.
I'll have a cigarette adn then clear out cause I've got a video to watch and some writing of my own.
Cool?
Your writing will improve and be a thousand times better than the crap that wrote you. You will have the reason to write, you will have gotten through the heaviest thing that a man has to go through and you will come out of it different.
O.k.
I'm going to finish this cigarette and then just hit refresh a bunch of times and then watch my movie.
Things are going to be o.k.
I'm off.
As for the fuck that wrote this message....I hope you die of cancer. I wish death and a three car pile up on your coward's ass.
― N., Friday, 21 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)
― katie, Friday, 21 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)
You can insult me until your blue in the face but the only reason that I'm here is that what was written is going to be hurtful and cause confusions cause that fucker was coming on strong like a friend which he is not.
I know death inside and out.
You can not challenge me on this subject. I@m here cause I'm worried about Marcello and if I can help him I will. So few people were there for me only the ones that went through massive tradegies.
It's a hard thing to understand.
So call me whatever you want. I'm being human and I'm worried.
Go on. Be a human, if only just for a minute.
I@m not being insensitive. I'm being honest.
Bye.
I'm gone.
I'm sure that the poster didn't mean any harm, if it is who I think it is.
I can't get worked up about what they said because fundamentally I agree with pretty well all of it.
Paul, you're OK. When my home PC's back up and running we can talk some more. I think we've got a lot of talking to do with regard to the things that have happened to us recently. Anyhow, have as good a Xmas/New Year as you can, and that goes for everyone else here. I'm sorry if I've pissed anybody off and will try not to do so when I come back in January. By the way, Jess, that includes you - believe it or not, I am thinking about you quite a lot.
Right I'm off to Dulwich to do some DJ-ing and thence to Glasgow.
Peace and love,
MC
― Marcello Carlin, Friday, 21 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)
Yup.
― Ned Raggett, Friday, 21 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)
Sorry if I lost my temper Marcello I'm protective of anyone that has gone through death.
It would be cool if 'that person and i know who that person is' did it through email, like Tom said, or proper channels, but he didnt. That's what pissed me off.
Have a good Christmas and hopefully we can talk.
I'm out of here. I'm back to occassional lurking. I worry about Marcello and it really has nothing to do with any of you.
Merry Christmas!
I sent you an email Marcello. Type me when you come back from the journeys.