Chronicling Mandee's highest matches on Okcupid.com

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So.. does anybody get any good matches on Okcupid.com? Because my "matches" are pathetic. Take a look at these jokers:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v209/Mandalion/cupidmatch4.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v209/Mandalion/cupidmatch3.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v209/Mandalion/cupidmatch2.jpg

and best of all...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v209/Mandalion/p1118802964.jpg

So which one should I ask out?

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Friday, 16 September 2005 16:54 (twenty years ago)

Well the first one is clealy Ned in drag so...

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Friday, 16 September 2005 16:57 (twenty years ago)

is the first one... ned?

xpost

― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 16 September 2005 16:57 (twenty years ago)

"Oh Heavens! :-)"

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Friday, 16 September 2005 16:58 (twenty years ago)

The second guy has potential, I mean he looks fun and reassuringly portly.

Invite the fourth guy along just so you can batten down his hair with a cricket bat occasionally.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Friday, 16 September 2005 16:58 (twenty years ago)

I'm pretty sure all four of these jokers post on the Noise board, incidentally.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Friday, 16 September 2005 17:00 (twenty years ago)

I like the fourth guy's Art Garfunkel vibe that he has going on.

― O'so Krispie (Ex Leon), Friday, 16 September 2005 17:00 (twenty years ago)

I think the second guy might be a former roommate from college. We were in a sea shanty acapella group together.

― Laura H. (laurah), Friday, 16 September 2005 17:01 (twenty years ago)

me and the 2nd guy could really get hot 'n' heavy at the ren fair, i bet

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Friday, 16 September 2005 17:02 (twenty years ago)

I swear that looks so like Ned.

"Heavens ; ) This thong sure rides up!"

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 16 September 2005 17:02 (twenty years ago)

Guy #4 has killed many men and would do so again, all for your love.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Friday, 16 September 2005 17:03 (twenty years ago)

It looks just like him, for sure.

x-post

― O'so Krispie (Ex Leon), Friday, 16 September 2005 17:03 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, I'm a bit disconcerted about that first photo myself. Since it isn't me, but does rather look like me, clearly it is Kevin Shields in drag.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 16 September 2005 17:09 (twenty years ago)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v209/Mandalion/p1118802964.jpg
http://www.suprmchaos.com/phil-spector_050704.jpg

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 16 September 2005 17:11 (twenty years ago)

Are these local or worldwide?

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Friday, 16 September 2005 17:16 (twenty years ago)

yeah, ask out the 2nd guy for gigantic turkey legs and mead.

― tokyo nursery school: afternoon session (rosemary), Friday, 16 September 2005 17:17 (twenty years ago)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v209/Mandalion/cupidmatch4.jpg

"Oh dear. I seem to have lost my MANTIES!"

― Ned Raggett In Drag (Dan Perry), Friday, 16 September 2005 17:18 (twenty years ago)

I honestly thought that was Ned.

― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 16 September 2005 17:18 (twenty years ago)

MANDEE
Are these REALLY the dudes they are trying to set you up with?
This makes me sad.

― n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 16 September 2005 17:18 (twenty years ago)

These are local dudes, Andrew

Nick - YES, THESE ARE REALLY MY MATCHES

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Friday, 16 September 2005 17:22 (twenty years ago)

OMG, that last picture is me!!! Mandee, we have been matched by complex logarythms run by super-computers!!!

no, just kidding. I am on okcupid though. I occasionally get very attractive matches, though they always seem to be married or something.

― stewart downes (sdownes), Friday, 16 September 2005 17:23 (twenty years ago)

For some reason, Yahoo daily sends me my newest matches. Because my zip code is Oakland, they're always curvy 420 friendly homegirls with pierced fingernails.

― andy --, Friday, 16 September 2005 17:27 (twenty years ago)

MANDEE Why are they setting you up with LOSERZ instead of HUNKZ WHO LOOK LIKE RALPH MACCIO? Are they PREJUDICED?

― n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 16 September 2005 17:32 (twenty years ago)

shit my blood pressure went through the roof when you said that, stewart downes

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Friday, 16 September 2005 17:33 (twenty years ago)

maybe i am a nerd?? (??)

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Friday, 16 September 2005 17:33 (twenty years ago)

Why are they PREJUDICED against NERDS?

― n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 16 September 2005 17:35 (twenty years ago)

I have never even heard of OKCupid, and I have a girlfriend, but after this thread, I might sign up.

― PappaWheelie B.C., Friday, 16 September 2005 17:36 (twenty years ago)

Hahaha spot the subtle warning sign!

http://www.okcupid.com/profile?tuid=14674075597740859281

I am a better match that all these schmucks! I will marry you to save you from LARPG hell! (I won't move to Denver, though)

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Friday, 16 September 2005 17:37 (twenty years ago)

sorry mandee, i am a jokr. I have become increasingly addicted to dating websites lately, even though I live in suburban wasteland and so the dating pool is not exactly spectacular. Well, I don't actually ever contact anyone, so I guess it doesn't really matter anyway.

― stewart downes (sdownes), Friday, 16 September 2005 17:40 (twenty years ago)

neither will nobody else, apparently. THIS TOWN IS FULLA DORKS>

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Friday, 16 September 2005 17:41 (twenty years ago)

"This is the character I play in a live-action role-playing game. No, I'm not a furry."

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Friday, 16 September 2005 17:44 (twenty years ago)

Because that would apparently be a deal-breaker for some.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Friday, 16 September 2005 17:44 (twenty years ago)

circus of freaks:

a: a tranny
b: dodgy goth-metal dude
c: kinky rivethead
d: big hair nerd

mandeewright you need to change the inputs of your search

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Friday, 16 September 2005 17:44 (twenty years ago)

Pierced fingernails?

― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 16 September 2005 17:45 (twenty years ago)

Town and surrounding woods, by the look of it.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Friday, 16 September 2005 17:45 (twenty years ago)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OMG

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Friday, 16 September 2005 17:46 (twenty years ago)

but I don't have inputs of my search!!! i did the "OKcupid.com test" or whatever and it just SELECTS who I should date!

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Friday, 16 September 2005 17:46 (twenty years ago)

If you HAD to pick one which would you pick?

― , Friday, 16 September 2005 17:47 (twenty years ago)

Duh, Fey Ned.

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Friday, 16 September 2005 17:47 (twenty years ago)

MANDEE U MY BOO U COME TO NYC OK BI

― ~~~~ DODONGO DISLIKES SMOKE ~~~~ (ex machina), Friday, 16 September 2005 17:47 (twenty years ago)

I'd go for the big-haired serial killer i think

― , Friday, 16 September 2005 17:47 (twenty years ago)

Are you sure you're not at OKcomputer.com? I mean, look at this closely.

― PappaWheelie B.C., Friday, 16 September 2005 17:48 (twenty years ago)

Duh, Fey Ned.

I suppose I should be flattered. But am I? ;-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 16 September 2005 17:48 (twenty years ago)

I think I'd choose the big-haired guy, too. Or fey Ned. OR THE SECOND GUY - OKAY SEE, I JUST CAN'T CHOOOOOOOOOSE

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Friday, 16 September 2005 17:49 (twenty years ago)

That's okay. They look like broad-minded guys.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Friday, 16 September 2005 17:50 (twenty years ago)

They are human and need to be loved.

― laurence kansas (lawrence kansas), Friday, 16 September 2005 17:51 (twenty years ago)

mandeewright you need to change your dating site then.

What about giving Yahoo Personals a whurl?

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Friday, 16 September 2005 17:52 (twenty years ago)

I actually kind of like LEATHER DUDE the best. He has a dreeeaaaamy grin.

― n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 16 September 2005 17:53 (twenty years ago)

you're not helping me stay 100% UNGOOGLEABLE, DJ MARTIN

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Friday, 16 September 2005 17:53 (twenty years ago)

Do you think LEATHER DUDE would bring his wife-assistant on a date too? I can't help thinking he's a magician of some sort from that picture.

― Matt #2 (Matt #2), Friday, 16 September 2005 17:55 (twenty years ago)

Skipping 230 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

LUNA I ALREADY USED MY WEIGHT JOKE, STOP SETTING ME UP

― Dan (Must Resist) Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 3 April 2006 22:02 (nineteen years ago)

He killed them AND, ATE THEM. (x, post)

― pixel farmer (Rock Hardy), Monday, 3 April 2006 22:02 (nineteen years ago)

I like the tubby guy saying I don't care about looks, as long as you're not piggish.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 3 April 2006 22:05 (nineteen years ago)

haha, "hanky gag" omg.

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Monday, 3 April 2006 22:16 (nineteen years ago)

We laugh now, but we'll be reading about him on Yahoo news here in about eight months.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Monday, 3 April 2006 22:35 (nineteen years ago)

I admit that I'm a little surprised we haven't already.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 3 April 2006 22:37 (nineteen years ago)

whoa.

hott

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Monday, 3 April 2006 22:40 (nineteen years ago)

He's got to learn to trust his captive first and then take her out to Karoke Night.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Monday, 3 April 2006 22:40 (nineteen years ago)

yeah this guys a real dreamboat, huh!

IM HARD AT WORK WRITING MY RESPONSE, WHICH WILL BE EQUALLY GREAT

actually if he's obsessing over my soul that's probably not a good idea.

― POOP BITCH (Mandee), Monday, 3 April 2006 23:13 (nineteen years ago)

I doubt he has enough working brain cells to google his own words, but just in case, is this thread googleproofed?

― pixel farmer (Rock Hardy), Monday, 3 April 2006 23:16 (nineteen years ago)

i'm convinced it's donut bitch having a laugh.

― POOP BITCH (Mandee), Monday, 3 April 2006 23:17 (nineteen years ago)

It doesn't seem like his style, though, with the violent undertones.

― jergins (jergins), Monday, 3 April 2006 23:23 (nineteen years ago)

This guy in 5 years:

Police in a Columbus, Ohio, suburb arrested Alan Patton, 54, outside a movie theater restroom in February and later listened to him describe in detail his unusual behavior. According to police, Patton is obsessed with collecting and consuming the urine of young boys, which he said he has done for over 40 years. "I like it because it makes me closer to them like I'm drinking their youth." His modus operandi is to shut off a urinal's flush water, wait for a boy to finish, and then gather up the urine. "Listening to him describe it," said one detective, "it's like listening to a crack or cocaine addict. He's addicted to children's urine." [WCMH-TV (Columbus), 2-21-06]

― latebloomer: someone's been drinking my youth! (latebloomer), Monday, 3 April 2006 23:32 (nineteen years ago)

Urea kiddin' me.

― pixel farmer (Rock Hardy), Monday, 3 April 2006 23:35 (nineteen years ago)

Why can't half the people on these sites bother to replace the pic they took 5 years ago with their monitor-mounted logitech QuikCam or whatever. THE SHIT IS WORSE THAN MY CELLPHONE CAMERA.

― Baba Yaga, The Iron Hag (blastocyst), Tuesday, 4 April 2006 00:03 (nineteen years ago)

well, the only reason i have chosen donut bitch is because this dude supposedly lives in seattle

― POOP BITCH (Mandee), Tuesday, 4 April 2006 00:12 (nineteen years ago)

It can't be, Donut Bitch is gallivanting off in Sydney right this second.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 4 April 2006 00:13 (nineteen years ago)

That's where his 'boss lady' lives.

― My Psychic Friends Are Strangely Silent (Ex Leon), Tuesday, 4 April 2006 00:20 (nineteen years ago)

i admit, the thought of being this man's fridge decor is kinda tempting

― POOP BITCH (Mandee), Tuesday, 4 April 2006 02:37 (nineteen years ago)

another love letter from a potential suitor:

Hello, i am Les S****, a businessman, and i have a big shop where in sell wears for male and female. i say your pic and ur information, so i belive and also my mide tell me that u are the right person for me, so i will like to known u better and , i am a kool looking good man, looking for a lovely and caring woman to be with like u and i will like to have my own kids and have a lovely famiy of my, so plz do send me back a mail and also if u have a yahoo mail box u can send it to me, my is les_*****@yahoo.com and i also make use of it for my yahoo chatting mail ok, so i will be looking forward to ur mail as soon as u get my ok. Bye and love u . And also if u have a phone no do send it to me so that i can give u a call ok.
Thanks.

― i've dreamt of rubies! (Mandee), Wednesday, 12 April 2006 16:24 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah, I used to get messages like that. They were exciting the first couple of times until I realised they were fake (the ones I got weren't so full of imaginatively spelled words). I put up a message that said "Dear girls of Russia and Winnipeg who are fake. Stop asking for my email address. I may look like I just fell off the shit cart yesterday, but I'm not gonna give it to you", and the messages stopped. I'm kinda sad about that now. This guys sounds good, though. I wish I was a kool looking good man.

― Bryan (Bryan), Wednesday, 12 April 2006 16:42 (nineteen years ago)

I THINK DUDES WHO SEND SHIT LIKE THAT ARE DESPARATE; NOT FAKE

― Fight the Real Enemy -- Tasti D-Lite (ex machina), Wednesday, 12 April 2006 16:54 (nineteen years ago)

yeah i think that one is definitely a fake, most likely.

― i've dreamt of rubies! (Mandee), Wednesday, 12 April 2006 16:59 (nineteen years ago)

WOW the masked intruder one is amazing/terrifying

Bye and love u .

― sleep (sleep), Wednesday, 12 April 2006 17:02 (nineteen years ago)

two weeks pass...

[spam]

― Steroids, Monday, 1 May 2006 02:32 (nineteen years ago)

Now even Mandee is getting steroid spam.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Monday, 1 May 2006 02:35 (nineteen years ago)

― i've dreamt of rubies! (Mandee), Monday, 1 May 2006 02:51 (nineteen years ago)

You don't want steroids do you?

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Monday, 1 May 2006 02:52 (nineteen years ago)

one month passes...

Ha just read this on TechCrunch

SmutVibes is social networking minus censorship
http://tinyurl.com/pywy6

web2.0 / social networks / tagging meets kinky swingers / casual adult fun / personal profiles with xxx rated pictures

SmutVibes.com
http://www.smutvibes.com

any ilxors signing up?

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Wednesday, 14 June 2006 18:19 (nineteen years ago)

one month passes...

www.okcupid.com/profile?u=marlenuk

http://is0.okcupid.com/users/682/814/6838151623687923920/p1143199781.jpg

"chocolate and vanila...mmmmmmmmmm"

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 14:42 (nineteen years ago)

are you posting this in outrage at the black bra/white knickers coupling?

― Cathy (Cathy), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 17:25 (nineteen years ago)

WTF is "?vzzk"...is that supposed to say "PUSSY"?

― the doaple gonger (nickalicious), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 18:19 (nineteen years ago)

I am disgusted with ILE for letting that DJ Martian post go without comment for almost two months.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 19:45 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.smutvibes.com/files/116/PHO_57804_95230.jpg

Would you do sex with this man?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 19:50 (nineteen years ago)

"chocolate and vanila...mmmmmmmmmm"

― nervous (cochere), Thursday, 3 August 2006 05:05 (nineteen years ago)

one year passes...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v209/Mandalion/p1118802964.jpg
http://i17.tinypic.com/7wosbc7.jpg

― Slumpman, Tuesday, 27 November 2007 19:35 (eighteen years ago)

http://nymag.com/daily/intel/20061211gladwell_lg.jpg

― jaymc, Tuesday, 27 November 2007 19:39 (eighteen years ago)

White guy fro guy looks like David Duchovny.

― nickalicious, Tuesday, 27 November 2007 19:41 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.weht.net/pics/yahootime.jpg

― Tuomas, Wednesday, 28 November 2007 09:16 (eighteen years ago)

three months pass...

Ok, just received this message:

Did someone in the Americas actually print: (I quote)-
Bel Biv Devoe?

Muthaaaafecker.. let's talk about Prefab Sprout instead - and then do Scritti Politti just to show we both know what a Fairlight can do in deranged hands.. with all of 8bit sample resolution.

You crazy bassplayin' hot in the pants woman thing chick you, why not write some suggestive phrases and rocket them up to me for embellishment? j✧✧✧.g✧✧✧@gm✧✧✧.c✧✧ and of course, though we wish he wouldn't, rohanhunt.com

Happy Krimbo

― roxymuzak, Tuesday, 25 March 2008 02:34 (seventeen years ago)

rocket them up, girl

― libcrypt, Tuesday, 25 March 2008 02:44 (seventeen years ago)

jesus christ the first post of this thread

― deeznuts, Tuesday, 25 March 2008 02:54 (seventeen years ago)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v209/Mandalion/cupidmatch3.jpg
CHAKI

― Electronic Bugaloo, Tuesday, 25 March 2008 03:36 (seventeen years ago)

three months pass...

47% Friend, 13% Enemy

;_;

― rogermexico., Saturday, 12 July 2008 16:15 (seventeen years ago)

one year passes...

This was the best okcupid thread.

― svend, Wednesday, 16 September 2009 03:50 (sixteen years ago)

I THINK DUDES WHO SEND SHIT LIKE THAT ARE DESPARATE; NOT FAKE
― Fight the Real Enemy -- Tasti D-Lite (ex machina), Wednesday, April 12, 2006 11:54 AM (3 years ago) Bookmark

― bamcquern, Wednesday, 16 September 2009 03:52 (sixteen years ago)

five months pass...

Okay, I'm back. I deleted my Okcupid account years ago, but in a stoned moment of stupidity, I created one on Plentyoffish.com.

Yikes.

Okay, so thus far I seem to be VERY popular among the 40+ crowd. They think I'm a real dish. ALSO, men obsessed with 50's memorabilia have also favorited me - probably because I have FUNKY, HORN-RIMMED GLASSES OMG. Although if they are expecting to me to go to a Rockabilly concert they are dreaming.

So, beyond the 40+ set and the rockabilly wannabes, there is also another group that is aching to get in my pants:

Men mere moments away from offing themselves. Am I last-stop junction? It's kind of a sad thing to realize. But I have had at least three messages from men who, in examination of their profiles, seem to be knee-deep in serious depression.

YAY FOR ONLINE DATING!!

― homosexual II, Saturday, 20 February 2010 19:59 (fifteen years ago)

― nitzer ebbebe (gbx), Saturday, 20 February 2010 20:12 (fifteen years ago)

lol

― nitzer ENBB (latebloomer), Saturday, 20 February 2010 20:14 (fifteen years ago)

Reading that makes me realise that the gap between internet dating sites and ChatRoulette is not that wide.

― might seem normal (snoball), Saturday, 20 February 2010 21:20 (fifteen years ago)

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