Gov. Jeb Bush unleashes Chang, his mystical warrior friend

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I thought this was an Onion article, but apparently it isn't. Can we saw Florida off from the continent like right now? k thx bye

Article published Sep 18, 2005

Gov. Bush & his mystical buddy

After more than an hour of solemn ceremony naming Rep. Marco Rubio, R-West Miami, as the 2007-08 House speaker, Gov. Jeb Bush stepped to the podium in the House chamber last week and told a short story about "unleashing Chang," his "mystical warrior" friend.

Here are Bush's words, spoken before hundreds of lawmakers and politicians:
''Chang is a mystical warrior. Chang is somebody who believes in conservative principles, believes in entrepreneurial capitalism, believes in moral values that underpin a free society.

''I rely on Chang with great regularity in my public life. He has been by my side and sometimes I let him down. But Chang, this mystical warrior, has never let me down.''

Bush then unsheathed a golden sword and gave it to Rubio as a gift.

''I'm going to bestow to you the sword of a great conservative warrior,'' he said, as the crowd roared.

The crowd, however, could be excused for not understanding Bush's enigmatic foray into the realm of Eastern mysticism.

We're here to help.

In a 1989 Washington Post article on the politics of tennis, former President George Bush was quoted as threatening to ''unleash Chang'' as a means of intimidating other players.

The saying was apparently quite popular with Gov. Bush's father, and referred to a legendary warrior named Chang who was called upon to settle political disputes in Chinese dynasties of yore.

The phrase has evolved, under Gov. Jeb Bush's use, to mean the need to fix conflicts or disagreements over an issue. Faced with a stalemate, the governor apparently "unleashes Chang" as a rhetorical device, signaling it's time to stop arguing and start agreeing.

No word on if Rubio will unleash Chang, or the sword, as he faces squabbles in the future.

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Tuesday, 20 September 2005 19:17 (twenty years ago)

It's like the Bushes are daring us do not believe they're part of some Illuminati cult.

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Tuesday, 20 September 2005 19:18 (twenty years ago)

ugh. "TO"

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Tuesday, 20 September 2005 19:19 (twenty years ago)

Is Chang in his pants? If so, don't unleash please.

― andy --, Tuesday, 20 September 2005 19:19 (twenty years ago)

i'm hoping some good farking comes out of this.

― the happy smile patrol (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 20 September 2005 19:20 (twenty years ago)

http://www.comicspage.com/annie/asp.gif

― Old School (sexyDancer), Tuesday, 20 September 2005 19:21 (twenty years ago)

In a 1989 Washington Post article on the politics of tennis, former President George Bush was quoted as threatening to ''unleash Chang'' as a means of intimidating other players.
Michael Chang?

― Last Of The Famous International Pfunkboys (Kerr), Tuesday, 20 September 2005 19:25 (twenty years ago)

In The X-Factor, George Plimpton reveals the identity of Chang:

The most esoteric [home-grown Bush Sr. phrase] is "unleash Chiang!" -- years ago an oft-used phrase during the hue and cry in government circles to allow Chiang Kai-shek to invade the Chinese mainland from Taiwan; on the Bush tennis court it refers to a potential source of power.

Plenty of non-Bush Google hits for "unleash Chiang."

― Paul Eater (eater), Tuesday, 20 September 2005 19:31 (twenty years ago)

Sounds like Jeb has no idea what his dad was talking about though. Kind of cute, really, their little dynasty.

― Paul Eater (eater), Tuesday, 20 September 2005 19:33 (twenty years ago)

Former Canadian Prime Minister William Lyon Mackenzie King (from Wikipedia):
Mackenzie King was a cautious politician who tailored his policies to prevailing opinions. "Parliament will decide," he liked to say when pressed to act.

Privately, he was highly eccentric with his preference for consulting spirits, including those of Leonardo da Vinci, Louis Pasteur, his dead mother and his dog. He sought personal reassurance from the spirits, rather than political advice. Indeed, after his death, one of the mediums said that she had not realized that he was a politician. King did ask whether his party would win the 1935 election, one of the few times politics came up during his seances. His occult interests were not widely known during his term in office, however, and only became publicized by biographers after his death who used the extensive diaries that he kept most of his life.

He never married, but had a close female friend, Joan Patteson, a married woman, with whom he spent much of his leisure time. His country retreat at Kingsmere in Gatineau Park, near Ottawa, is open to the public.

Mackenzie King died on July 22, 1950, at his home near Ottawa. He is buried in Mount Pleasant Cemetery, Toronto. He is pictured on the Canadian fifty-dollar bill.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Tuesday, 20 September 2005 19:35 (twenty years ago)

andrew m., are you seeing this? c-hang!

― ai lien (kold_krush), Tuesday, 20 September 2005 19:52 (twenty years ago)

I think I should bulldoze the Governor's Mansion with him in it.

― Ian Riese-Moraine: Let this bastard out, and you'll get whiplash! (Eastern Mantr, Tuesday, 20 September 2005 20:22 (twenty years ago)

I live in FL, now. I will help.

― Thea (Thea), Tuesday, 20 September 2005 20:26 (twenty years ago)

It shouldn't be too hard. There's a really old gate surrounding it and not much of a yard.

― Ian Riese-Moraine: Let this bastard out, and you'll get whiplash! (Eastern Mantr, Tuesday, 20 September 2005 20:28 (twenty years ago)

In case he decides to "unleash Chang" I will bring rope and some mace.

― Thea (Thea), Tuesday, 20 September 2005 20:33 (twenty years ago)

Good call. We should release our own mystical Chinese warrior on his ass, too.

― Ian Riese-Moraine: Let this bastard out, and you'll get whiplash! (Eastern Mantr, Tuesday, 20 September 2005 20:39 (twenty years ago)

These fearsome Shi Tzus should do it:

http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:LFmqaRNu1G0J:www.cz-pes.cz/katalog/obrazky/bohemiaacro1.jpg

― Thea (Thea), Tuesday, 20 September 2005 20:44 (twenty years ago)

I believe that Chang is the most common surname in the world - so really it could be anybody.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Tuesday, 20 September 2005 20:44 (twenty years ago)

ILX, you can call on me whenever you need to form a consensus, especially about MIA or New Order.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Tuesday, 20 September 2005 20:45 (twenty years ago)

What Spencer, you don't like my Shih Tzus?

― Thea (Thea), Tuesday, 20 September 2005 20:45 (twenty years ago)

No No, my parents have owned a series of them actually.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Tuesday, 20 September 2005 20:51 (twenty years ago)

Your Shih Tzus will do, Thea!

― Ian Riese-Moraine: Let this bastard out, and you'll get whiplash! (Eastern Mantr, Tuesday, 20 September 2005 20:53 (twenty years ago)

Their names are Chang, Chang Deux and Chango

― Thea (Thea), Tuesday, 20 September 2005 20:54 (twenty years ago)

They are definitely in my top 5 breeds.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Tuesday, 20 September 2005 20:55 (twenty years ago)

The one on the far right, Chango, is a Shih Tzu AND a Santerian deity and god of war, which might come in handy, it being Florida and all.

― Thea (Thea), Tuesday, 20 September 2005 20:58 (twenty years ago)

The crowd, however, could be excused for not understanding Bush's enigmatic foray into the realm of Eastern mysticism

― kingfish superman ice cream (kingfish 2.0), Tuesday, 20 September 2005 20:59 (twenty years ago)

Chango? Awesome, a Santeria Shih Tzu! Double whoopass!

Oh, xpost!

― Ian Riese-Moraine: Let this bastard out, and you'll get whiplash! (Eastern Mantr, Tuesday, 20 September 2005 21:00 (twenty years ago)

My joke was that I am Chow, mystical warrior friend to ILX.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Tuesday, 20 September 2005 21:02 (twenty years ago)

There was a joke, there? You are not mystical, you are real, have attended a party of mine.

Doesn't matter, we have more important things to think about, right Ian? Yeah!

― Thea (Thea), Tuesday, 20 September 2005 21:07 (twenty years ago)

the mystical is real, pal.

― Old School (sexyDancer), Tuesday, 20 September 2005 21:09 (twenty years ago)

photo of this posted on Wonkette right now

― kingfish superman ice cream (kingfish 2.0), Tuesday, 20 September 2005 21:10 (twenty years ago)

That's right, Thea! First we'll drive a procession of bulldozers into Tallahassee at 4:30 PM on Friday down Apalachee Parkway, turn right on Monroe Street in front of the Capitol and stop for five minutes to showcase our vehicles of doom while pissing off everyone at rush hour, continue up Monroe Street to First Street and then -- GUBERNATORIAL DEMOLITION DERBY!

― Ian Riese-Moraine: Let this bastard out, and you'll get whiplash! (Eastern Mantr, Tuesday, 20 September 2005 21:14 (twenty years ago)

Hell yeah! Now I know why I've felt the need to ride my bike so hard, lately. Getting in shape for this. Lincoln Road was created to ride your bike along really fast when all the tourists have been scared off by tropical rains.

xpost

Yes, well...in California the mystical is real. Florida's all about results (remember the election?), action (though here in South Beach mainly the sex and drugs type, ho-hum). I am becoming a misanthrope, living in Florida.

― Thea (Thea), Tuesday, 20 September 2005 21:19 (twenty years ago)

I think Lee is the most common surname in the world (xpost).

― andy --, Tuesday, 20 September 2005 21:22 (twenty years ago)

"A Yahoo! Search on 'most common last name' resulted in this pithy article from the good folks who bring us Meriam-Webster's Word for the Wise column. The world's most common surname (not surprisingly, considering the numbers) is Chang or Zhang..."

I stand corrected.

― andy --, Tuesday, 20 September 2005 21:24 (twenty years ago)

The Great Chow of ILX is never wrong.

― Thea (Thea), Tuesday, 20 September 2005 21:25 (twenty years ago)

Ahh, Thea, this will be so fulfilling. I haven't been able to breathe freely through my nose ever since Election Day of '98, and I've been sick on every single Election Day since that year.

― Ian Riese-Moraine: Let this bastard out, and you'll get whiplash! (Eastern Mantr, Tuesday, 20 September 2005 21:39 (twenty years ago)

At least he didn't unleash Wang.

― the son of dean cameron (dr g), Tuesday, 20 September 2005 21:41 (twenty years ago)

chang is slang for cocaine, no?

― foxy boxer (stevie), Tuesday, 20 September 2005 21:52 (twenty years ago)

Chang don't surf.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Tuesday, 20 September 2005 21:54 (twenty years ago)

Grandmaster Chang Tung-Sheng

― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Tuesday, 20 September 2005 23:25 (twenty years ago)

I have missed much today, including this thread. My.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 20 September 2005 23:35 (twenty years ago)

They don't talk about "Ching", wonder why? Ching is the Goofus to Chang's Gallant, believing in free health care for all, ESP, and balloons for the kids. He lives attached in Changs stomach as a symbiote twin, like so:

http://www.gaylactica.dk/movie_images/totalrecall/openyourmind.jpg

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Tuesday, 20 September 2005 23:46 (twenty years ago)

no no that's kuato.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 00:54 (twenty years ago)

Did he mention the "ancient Chinese secret"?

― k/l (Ken L), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 01:31 (twenty years ago)

...is ILX getting all of its threads from reddit.com these days or what?

― giboyeux (skowly), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 02:25 (twenty years ago)

if jeb didn't actually know this referred to an anticommunist general...

― geoff (gcannon), Wednesday, 21 September 2005 02:37 (twenty years ago)

my cat's name is chang.

http://static.flickr.com/27/42959506_a731e34ed1_m.jpg

he is my mystical warrior friend.

― foxy boxer (stevie), Friday, 23 September 2005 12:56 (twenty years ago)

eight years pass...

Jeb Bush vs Chris Christie FITE!

― calstars, Friday, 2 May 2014 13:19 (eleven years ago)

Chiang Kai-shek is dead, Jeb. Wear gloves.

― Aimless, Friday, 2 May 2014 16:24 (eleven years ago)

neither of these guys has a chin

― PLATYPUS OF DOOM (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 2 May 2014 16:25 (eleven years ago)

mud wrestle

― Brian Eno's Mother (Latham Green), Friday, 2 May 2014 16:29 (eleven years ago)

Jeb-Hil election will make the charade evermore explicit to the masses

the prezirrelevency

― images of war violence and historical smoking (Dr Morbius), Friday, 2 May 2014 16:30 (eleven years ago)

five years pass...

Remember when Jeb! came “under fire” in 2016 for saying he thought the actress who played Supergirl in the TV series was “pretty hot”?

― treeship., Sunday, 8 December 2019 02:33 (six years ago)

Just want to remind yall of that wonderful in consuming media. 2016.

― treeship., Sunday, 8 December 2019 02:34 (six years ago)

eleven months pass...

Jeb!

Mr. Room Rater, is it possible now that the election is over to rate rooms on a non partisan basis? Are you a room rater or a hyper partisan person that is the problem? We need less hyper partisanship on backgrounds at this time for our country. https://t.co/6oPKILYLZB
— Jeb Bush (@JebBush) November 21, 2020

― wasdnuos (abanana), Wednesday, 25 November 2020 18:31 (five years ago)

kudos

― calstars, Wednesday, 25 November 2020 18:39 (five years ago)

ILX's first mention of Marco Rubio in the OP!

― jaymc, Wednesday, 25 November 2020 18:53 (five years ago)

nine months pass...

Greetings from the Biddeford CVS where Jeb Bush locked his keys in his van and is using the store phone to call lmao pic.twitter.com/o7IKOGrV9q
— Steve Jobs Built The Apple iPhone (@NiceSheehan) September 24, 2021

― certified juice therapist (harbl), Friday, 24 September 2021 22:51 (four years ago)

four years pass...

10 years ago today!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Please_clap

― Venus of Willendorf on Golf (jaymc), Monday, 2 February 2026 13:26 (two days ago)

Hahahaha what

― Clever Message Board User Name (Raymond Cummings), Monday, 2 February 2026 14:02 (two days ago)

still kind of sad I didn't buy the Jeb! molcajete on clearance from his campaign site when he dropped out

― mh, Monday, 2 February 2026 14:57 (two days ago)

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