WOREST MOVIE OF YEAR: THUMBSUCKER

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STUPID STUPID STUPID MIKE MILLS AND POLYPHONIC SPREE
I HATE I HATE IHATE POKE MY EYES OUT HATE MOVIE

― huell howser (chaki), Thursday, 22 September 2005 06:09 (twenty years ago)

HATE FUCK HATE FUCK MOVIE I WISH I NEVER WAS BORN
STUPID CHARACTERS I NEVER CARE ABOUT AND FORCED FAKE EMOTION STUPID DIALOGUE AND BAD VINCE VAUGHN BEING BAD SUCKY SUCKY IMAGIN A REM SONG MADE INTO A MOVE FUCK THE POLYPHONIC SPREE IN THE FUCKING ASSHOE

― huell howser (chaki), Thursday, 22 September 2005 06:18 (twenty years ago)

I have never heard of this movie. Polyphonic Spree is involved.

Therefore, it is undeniably the suck.

― John Justen (johnjusten), Thursday, 22 September 2005 06:22 (twenty years ago)

the polyphonic spree will change your life

― the happy smile patrol (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 22 September 2005 06:23 (twenty years ago)

GUILTY PARTIES ALSO INVOLVED: KEANU REEVES, BENJAMIN BRATT, TILDA SWINTON, SOME UGLY KIDS, VINCENT DINOFRO

― huell howser (chaki), Thursday, 22 September 2005 06:24 (twenty years ago)

But David Denby says it is "encouraging of ambiguities and multiple meanings" and that "Mills's refusal to rush brings out the humor and the hidden tensions in materia that, in more impatient hands, might have been conventionally winsome".

Not conventionally winsome enough for you then, Chaki?

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Thursday, 22 September 2005 06:27 (twenty years ago)

the last time the polyphonic spree changed my life, I was forced to do a regimen of antibiotics.

― John Justen (johnjusten), Thursday, 22 September 2005 06:46 (twenty years ago)

i had high hopes, found the cast/performances/script to be sufficient and the direction to be absolutely distractingly horrible.

― firstworldman (firstworldman), Thursday, 22 September 2005 06:51 (twenty years ago)

I FUCK David Denby

― huell howser (chaki), Thursday, 22 September 2005 06:53 (twenty years ago)

lord of war was even better than this and that's not a compliment.

― firstworldman (firstworldman), Thursday, 22 September 2005 06:54 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, it looked pretty fucking stupid from the trailer. Oh, look, he is going to suck his thumb?! Are you fucking kidding me? Desperate attempt at weird sensitivity, I guess.

― Penis Dresden, Thursday, 22 September 2005 06:55 (twenty years ago)

I liked it ok, but not as good as other emo movies - in fact, pretty annoying now that I think about it. Keanu is GREAT. Bratt is hilarious.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Thursday, 22 September 2005 06:56 (twenty years ago)

spencer, you like EVERYTHING.

― huell howser (chaki), Thursday, 22 September 2005 06:58 (twenty years ago)

deformer, his short about ed templeton is pretty good... as is paperboys, kinda sorta.

― firstworldman (firstworldman), Thursday, 22 September 2005 06:59 (twenty years ago)

Chaki, what is this board called again???

Also, I actually have some reservations about this movie (and was certainly underwhelmed) which means that to most people it will be like Gigli!

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Thursday, 22 September 2005 07:02 (twenty years ago)

[South Park Elementary]
Mr. Garrison: Okay, children. I have some very exciting news for youï¿½ Oo-why don't you tell them, Mr. Twig?
Mr. Twig: That's right, Mr. Garrison. The First Annual South Park Film Festival begins today.
Wendy: Wow! Cool!
Kyle: They're not gonna show that stupid-ass Godzilla movie again, are they?
Mr. Garrison: Nono, Kyle. These are independent films.
Stan: Hoohh, like Independence Day? That sucked ass, too.
Cartman: No, dude, independent films are those black and white hippie movies. They're always about gay cowboys eating pudding.
Wendy: No they're not! Independent films are produced outside the Hollywood system. They're movies about all the glitz and glamour of Hollywood.
Cartman: Byeh, sure. Well, you show me one independent film that [thump] isn't about gay cowboys eating pudding!
Wendy: Once again, you have no idea what you're talking about, fatass!
Cartman: [thump-thump] I'm not fat! I just haven't grown into my body yet, skinny bitch!
Wendy: Hrmph!
Mr. Garrison: Eric, if you call Wendy a bitch one more time, I'm sending you to the principal's office!
Cartman: [looks around, then] ï¿½bitch.
Mr. Garrison: That's it Eric, you-!
Cartman: I'm going! [hops off his chair and walks out, closing the door behind him]
Mr. Garrison: Anyway, children, I want you all to see at least one independent film at the festival and then write a paper about it. [the class groans] The first film showing is called Witness To Denial, and it's a sexual exploration piece about two women in love.
Stan: Oh, my uncle Jimbo has a ton of those movies in his dresser drawer.

― the happy smile patrol (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 22 September 2005 07:13 (twenty years ago)

Unauthorized explanation of Spencer Chow's media life: If you, the viewer, are really good looking but not in an asshole way, you naturally just tend to be gung-hoes-and-*roses about most movies, and unsurprisingly enough, most anything else out there, even just regular lawns and especially parks! Therefore, one could say, if this 'Spencer' person spontaneously sprouted a two-headed-Chang face or maybe even just got toxic shock for a few weeks and gimped a pinky permanently - he would likely grow into an age-appropriate cynicism, start hating more movies and everyday objects. * - A Google search says I have just coined that phase this post, which in the long run means likely little. Anyway, Spencer Chow is better looking than me and I whine about anything when I post in bed. Oh YA KNOW I LUV YA SPENCERRRRRRrrrrrr (said in a whiteboy voice...kinda halfway to YOURS, Spence! Blakkaw!). OK forget this whole stupid post, Im' just zooted anyway!

SPENCER CHOW GETS PUSSY

SPENCER CHOW DIGS MOVIES

AND SO WOULD YOU

― LeCoq (LeCoq), Thursday, 22 September 2005 08:02 (twenty years ago)

i liked this movie. i think huell likes weezer, right? i guess it was a bit emo but i don't have much emo in my life, so this was easily tolerable.

― N_RQ, Thursday, 22 September 2005 08:04 (twenty years ago)

I've just found my calling! Spencer Chow slash! Shzen-Xiao fan-fik fly-lice on the takeout menu. Oh God just say "number 38" already I'm STAAAARVING

― LeCoq (LeCoq), Thursday, 22 September 2005 08:07 (twenty years ago)

Weirdest and most absurdly adorable race-bait scene EVER EVER EVER was in Crooklyn, when the black kids are playing around with the CLEARLY WHITE/JEW AT A STRETCH guy on the stoop, and they call him, get this, a "CHINESE PUERTO-RICAN CHINK-SPIT!!" WTFLYINGF is THAT??!?

― LeCoq (LeCoq), Thursday, 22 September 2005 08:12 (twenty years ago)

Blakkaw!

― sux2bu (Adrian Langston), Thursday, 22 September 2005 17:02 (twenty years ago)

so, is this as much the pseudo-Wes Anderson that it looks like?

― kingfish superman ice cream (kingfish 2.0), Thursday, 22 September 2005 17:08 (twenty years ago)

The trailer alone made me want to gouge my eyes out.

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Thursday, 22 September 2005 17:10 (twenty years ago)

I have never heard of this movie. Polyphonic Spree is involved.

Therefore, it is undeniably the suck.

You wise, wise man.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 22 September 2005 17:11 (twenty years ago)

Is it just me, or do all of the promo posters look like they're trendy t-shirt designs?

― mike h. (mike h.), Thursday, 22 September 2005 17:22 (twenty years ago)

Mills is also a trendy designer.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Thursday, 22 September 2005 17:22 (twenty years ago)

Speaking of 'the suck,' Jarhead has one of the best trailers I've seen. Perfect use of "Jesus Walks."

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Thursday, 22 September 2005 17:24 (twenty years ago)

My wife wants to murder Polyphonic spree with rusty instruments of doom. She's so cute.

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Thursday, 22 September 2005 17:26 (twenty years ago)

I'm not really into them myself.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Thursday, 22 September 2005 17:27 (twenty years ago)

this had some sweet moments and a few really great shots (mills has a dp's eye) but the performances were almost uniformly terrible (exceptions: swinton and d'onofrio) and the tone and dialogue (mills has a dp's ear) were all over the place. he said at tiff that it took him over six years to complete this and the thought actually depressed me. it's such an uneven, go-nowhere wank! there's no takeaway, no point, nothing!

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 22 September 2005 17:27 (twenty years ago)

It's a terrible movie. I'm glad I didn't pay to see it. That would only have insult to the injury. Polyphonic Spree (who I had never heard before and are terrible) isn't even the worse thing about this film.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Thursday, 22 September 2005 17:28 (twenty years ago)

it's such an uneven, go-nowhere wank! there's no takeaway, no point, nothing!
You just described pretty much every American indie film of the last five years.

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Thursday, 22 September 2005 17:28 (twenty years ago)

Haha and what? We should clap since another one has just come out or something?

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Thursday, 22 September 2005 17:29 (twenty years ago)

Polyphonic Spree (who I had never heard before and are terrible) isn't even the worse thing about this film.

WOW. That actually impresses me!

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Thursday, 22 September 2005 17:29 (twenty years ago)

I'm certainly not cheering, Alex. Just saying that no one should be surprised when a quirky, critic-friendly Amerindie movie sucks donkey balls.

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Thursday, 22 September 2005 17:32 (twenty years ago)

Weird, I just checked IMDB because I expected Roman Coppola to be the second unit director or something since that's how this thing seems to work, but no dice.

Mills came out of the same Grand Royal/X-Large/skating loosely affiliated group as his contemporaries, right? I've seen some of his design stuff and that Air documentary-type thing.

― mike h. (mike h.), Thursday, 22 September 2005 17:34 (twenty years ago)

"They're always about gay cowboys eating pudding"

I saw a preview of this when I went to Constant Gardener last weekend - Brokeback Mountain I think it's called.

― Josh Love (screamapillar), Thursday, 22 September 2005 17:34 (twenty years ago)

Polyphonic Spree (who I had never heard before and are terrible) isn't even the worse thing about this film.

That's a very scary and disquieting thought. I will definitely go out of my way to avoid this movie.

― O'so Krispie (Ex Leon), Thursday, 22 September 2005 17:35 (twenty years ago)

also, it was obvious that the majority of his film experience is in music videos cause the only time the film really came alive was during the montages. everywhere else, he just seemed utterly lost.

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 22 September 2005 17:36 (twenty years ago)

let the record show that i was totally willing to forgive the polyphonic spree and the movie's overwhelming indie cuteness and i STILL hated it. seriously, it makes garden state look like the decalogue.

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 22 September 2005 17:40 (twenty years ago)

This movie is going to make sooooo much money. I almost want to go opening night here so I can count the number of emo kids in line.

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Thursday, 22 September 2005 17:41 (twenty years ago)

Tell me this: are the girls in this movie hot at least?

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 22 September 2005 17:43 (twenty years ago)

YES.

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 22 September 2005 17:43 (twenty years ago)

both of them are, although i think one is a little bigger than the other

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 22 September 2005 17:44 (twenty years ago)

Is Vince Vaughn playing another variation of Double Down Trent in this?

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Thursday, 22 September 2005 17:44 (twenty years ago)

are the girls in this movie hot at least?

hell yeah. the banner ads all feature some topless chick in a come-hither repose on a bed.

― kingfish superman ice cream (kingfish 2.0), Thursday, 22 September 2005 17:50 (twenty years ago)

and the ads were all over Myspace n' shit

― kingfish superman ice cream (kingfish 2.0), Thursday, 22 September 2005 17:59 (twenty years ago)

Thank god I use adblocking software, then.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 22 September 2005 18:00 (twenty years ago)

it makes garden state look like the decalogue.

oh come on now! this just isn't true. it's not as sappy as garden state. if you were to say, it makes you long for the day when the worst that could happen was the director could put the shins on the sdtk, maybe, and while it's not mike leigh, it ain't maid in manhattan either.

This movie is going to make sooooo much money. I almost want to go opening night here so I can count the number of emo kids in line.

i doubt it. i would be very surprised if this movie didn't come and go very quick. even with the barrage of magazine covers, fawning press, pitchfork ads. the movie is just too modest to do too much business.

Is Vince Vaughn playing another variation of Double Down Trent in this?

no. and he does great! tilda swinton is great as usual. d'onofrio does great. ben bratt and keannu reaves both were funny. lou taylor pucci was good and shows promise. the girl was good and good looking too. that's what is so frustrating. how did this not work?!

i have a youthful attachment to mike mills. he made me want to go to cooper union. i was AAAAAANGRYYYYYYYYYY.

― firstworldman (firstworldman), Thursday, 22 September 2005 18:08 (twenty years ago)

at least garden state had a consistent sensibility! it knew it what it was, knew what it wanted to accomplish and it stuck to that (whether it did, well, ymmv).

but this is a mess! its sloppy and unfinished, full of weird tonal changes (is it a gossamer daydreamy coming of age film? a goofy slapstick teen comedy? a saccharine cameron crowe knockoff? an art movie? a gross out movie?) and bad acting (sorry but vaughn and reeves were terrible as usual). plus, i mean really, the story didn't even make all that much sense!

i adore mills' design and his videos, but after hearing him speak, its obvious he's got some pretty hardline thumbsucker tendencies (trans: he's a bit of a wuss) and so seeing thumbsucker dude (SPOILER ALERT) being put through the paces only to magically recover and find instant success in his chosen vocation set off a few alarm bells. less insipid wish fulfillment, more 'storytelling please!

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 22 September 2005 19:11 (twenty years ago)

sorry, that should say "whether it did IT well" uptop

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 22 September 2005 19:12 (twenty years ago)

It's one of the worst written and paced movies I've seen in a while. Mills is absolutely tone deaf. I honestly had no idea what he was trying to do or say. Swinton and D'onofrio are good as always which frankly just made me wish the movie had been about their characters.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Thursday, 22 September 2005 19:17 (twenty years ago)

alex, you just got slocki's spot in my will.

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 22 September 2005 19:46 (twenty years ago)

Hahaha does that mean I get left free passes for the sequel to Valiant?

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Thursday, 22 September 2005 19:48 (twenty years ago)

you get my autographed storyboards for mills' scotched sequel, toesucker.

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 22 September 2005 19:51 (twenty years ago)

Excellent, but don't be sure that it's scotched (aka never underestimate the American indie film viewing audience.)

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Thursday, 22 September 2005 19:53 (twenty years ago)

featuring a very special soundtrack from clap your hands say wah

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 22 September 2005 19:54 (twenty years ago)

with additional music by Jeff Buckley

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Thursday, 22 September 2005 19:58 (twenty years ago)

You just made me hurl.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 22 September 2005 19:59 (twenty years ago)

I really wish I switched lines at the preview and seen A History of Violence actually (I didn't remember that it was Cronenberg.)

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Thursday, 22 September 2005 20:00 (twenty years ago)

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 22 September 2005 20:04 (twenty years ago)

Don't worry slocki, you can come over and look at the autographed storyboard anytime you want ("I SAID LOOK, NOT TOUCH!")

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Thursday, 22 September 2005 21:01 (twenty years ago)

*SPOILERS**

mills is definitely tone deaf, but beautifully shot which has to count for something. i found it frustrating, but certain sequences were quite well handled - the return to depression, for instance.

keanu was the perfect choice for the role - his woodenness *added* to it. vaughan was also passable.

mediocre, but not that bad - i would say worth seeing if you like a good montage, if you've ever wanted to see Big Star's "Thirteen" in a coming of age film sex scene (and a good one, let's be honest), or if you grew up in the Pacific Northwest in the 90s and want to get all drunkenly nostalgic.

(mark p were you at the tiff screening too?)

― yuengling participle (rotten03), Thursday, 22 September 2005 21:09 (twenty years ago)

This movie made me realize that Keanu will be doing a lot of voiceover work in the future.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Thursday, 22 September 2005 21:12 (twenty years ago)

i can't agree that keanu adds to any role - not even those that explicitly call for woodenness. i find it impossible to see beyond his hollywood caricature, ie. that of a handsome doof who might actually answer "what is light urple?" to the celebrity jeopardy question "name a color that ends in 'urple'" if only given the chance.

and yeah dave, i was at the tiff screening! not the press one though, the one later in the week. did you see l'enfant or sympathy for lady vengeance? they were my favs.

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 22 September 2005 21:54 (twenty years ago)

"Power Animal" is the best thing about this movie. I've never seen Bill & Ted's which I think explains why I can take Keanu "seriously."

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Friday, 23 September 2005 22:25 (twenty years ago)

How does Sympathy for Lady Vengeance stack up against Old Boy and Sympathy for Mr Vengeance?

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Friday, 23 September 2005 22:28 (twenty years ago)

i heard mark liked it alot!!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 23 September 2005 22:54 (twenty years ago)

I've never seen Bill & Ted's

! Truly, I'm amazed.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 23 September 2005 22:57 (twenty years ago)

I only saw Fast Times recently!

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Friday, 23 September 2005 23:00 (twenty years ago)

bill & ted's the only good shit keanu's ever done.

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 23 September 2005 23:20 (twenty years ago)

So wrong!

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Friday, 23 September 2005 23:23 (twenty years ago)

I only saw Fast Times recently!

Phew. Okay, I no longer feel bad about missing certain things these days, cause that's one hell of a delay!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 23 September 2005 23:23 (twenty years ago)

seven months pass...

i want you all to read your disscusion.
and then read it
and read it.

if you dont 'like' a movie, stop wasting your time making a whole entire post on it. Aarogant bitches wont shut up and stop complaining. I'd much like to see what you could do.

o and by the way, loved it. and the actors :)

― brittany gorton, Monday, 1 May 2006 21:31 (nineteen years ago)

If you don't like Hitler, then just shut up about him already!

― i'm from hollywood, Monday, 1 May 2006 21:37 (nineteen years ago)

How many Wes Anderson-wannabe flicks have we now had, anyway? 3? 4?

― kingfish doesn't live here anymore (kingfish 2.0), Monday, 1 May 2006 21:40 (nineteen years ago)

30? 40?

― milo z (mlp), Monday, 1 May 2006 21:45 (nineteen years ago)

brittany, if a film took up two hours of your life and you hated it it's perfectly reasonable to express that.

― jed_ (jed), Monday, 1 May 2006 21:58 (nineteen years ago)

WES ANDERSON INVENTED INDIE

― the Enrique who acts like some kind of good taste gestapo (Enrique), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 07:37 (nineteen years ago)

After reading this thread, I was expecting to hate Thumbsucker, but it was actually not too bad as a quirky coming-of-age tale. I don't know if it added up to anything deep or profound, but it was enjoyably goofy. It seemed like it was trying to make some point about Ritalin, but I'm not sure what it was.

― o. nate (onate), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 15:18 (nineteen years ago)

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