"Police say they WILL catch the people responsible"

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They're always saying this on the news. What do they expect the police to say? "Actually, we can't be arsed. It's a nice day, so we thought we'd go down the park instead."

More examples of commonly used superflous phrases in journalism.

― chap who would dare to thwart the revolution (chap), Friday, 23 September 2005 13:26 (twenty years ago)

I dunno, but have you ever seen a sniffer dog fail to find the suspicious package during a televised training exercise?

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 23 September 2005 13:29 (twenty years ago)

"Red faced bosses"

― Ste (Fuzzy), Friday, 23 September 2005 13:29 (twenty years ago)

"Cops" to thread.

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Friday, 23 September 2005 13:29 (twenty years ago)

I think really what you're looking for is superfluous phrases used by officials, not by journalists.

"Our hearts go out to the people of New Orleans," and such.

― Hurting (Hurting), Friday, 23 September 2005 13:30 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, that's the kind of thing. When a politician makes a statement, and basically just says "This is a Very Bad Thing." Thus implying that, by condemning it, they are a Very Good Person.

― chap who would dare to thwart the revolution (chap), Friday, 23 September 2005 13:36 (twenty years ago)

I thought they were implying, by condemning it, that they were Captian Obvious from the planet Duh.

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Friday, 23 September 2005 13:37 (twenty years ago)

I think it's more that they don't want to be seen as the only politician NOT condemning it (whatever 'it' is).

― chap who would dare to thwart the revolution (chap), Friday, 23 September 2005 13:42 (twenty years ago)

Descriptions of the former interests of some kid who got hit by a bus/stray bullet/etc. "Liked Harry Potter."

― Old School (sexyDancer), Friday, 23 September 2005 13:46 (twenty years ago)

I saw an news item tonight about some kiddies who'd been fed methodone (ffs) by adults and died from it. And the official comment that stood ouy was "there are no winners here". WTF. Someone wants to WIN this? Um. HUH!?

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 23 September 2005 13:56 (twenty years ago)

I fed my child methadone and he didn't die! A WINNER IS ME!

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Friday, 23 September 2005 14:02 (twenty years ago)

Did you have some money riding on it?

― chap who would dare to thwart the revolution (chap), Friday, 23 September 2005 14:03 (twenty years ago)

WE'RE GONNA GET THEM FOLKS THAT DID THIS

― DUBYA, Friday, 23 September 2005 14:06 (twenty years ago)

'an apalling tragedy'

as if there's such a thing as 'a heartwarming tragedy'

― Teh HoBB (the pirate king), Friday, 23 September 2005 14:20 (twenty years ago)

I have a whole 4 or 5 minutes in my act about drug deals "gone bad".

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Friday, 23 September 2005 14:23 (twenty years ago)

Descriptions of the former interests of some kid who got hit by a bus/stray bullet/etc. "Liked Harry Potter."

They were always popular and full of life too. You never hear they were shy loners bullied by everyone. Understandable they don't say that though I guess.

― beanz (beanz), Friday, 23 September 2005 14:24 (twenty years ago)

"War On Terror"

― tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Friday, 23 September 2005 14:25 (twenty years ago)

In Canada: "We are dedicated to protecting healthcare"

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 23 September 2005 14:36 (twenty years ago)

THIS

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Friday, 23 September 2005 15:20 (twenty years ago)

THE

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Friday, 23 September 2005 15:20 (twenty years ago)

ONE