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"Porn is fake - people don't have sex like that"

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What is like that refering to?

― Ben in Dover, Saturday, 1 October 2005 16:51 (twenty years ago)

with cameras

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Saturday, 1 October 2005 16:55 (twenty years ago)

Without cellulite.

― Laurel, Saturday, 1 October 2005 16:56 (twenty years ago)

in real life men dont have 12-inch cocks except me!!!!

― ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!, Saturday, 1 October 2005 16:56 (twenty years ago)

with hedgehogs.

― polyphonic (polyphonic), Saturday, 1 October 2005 16:57 (twenty years ago)

I have never pulled out to ejaculate over anyone's back.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 1 October 2005 17:07 (twenty years ago)

Not even your own?

― Ben in Dover, Saturday, 1 October 2005 17:09 (twenty years ago)

It's not a particularly reliable form of birth control, but I've had occassion to use it as a last resort from time to time.

― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Saturday, 1 October 2005 17:14 (twenty years ago)

Ejaculating over a woman doesn't generally cause her to orgasm.

― tokyo nursery school: afternoon session (rosemary), Saturday, 1 October 2005 17:21 (twenty years ago)

then you haven't lived, Martin!

xpost

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Saturday, 1 October 2005 17:21 (twenty years ago)

Wearing a plumber's outfit.

― Don King of the Mountain (noodle vague), Saturday, 1 October 2005 17:30 (twenty years ago)

http://www.gudlyf.com/fark/mario-jeremy.jpg

― Ben in Dover, Saturday, 1 October 2005 17:35 (twenty years ago)

With a fluffer.

― Jessie the Monster (scarymonsterrr), Saturday, 1 October 2005 17:36 (twenty years ago)

wearing 5-inch translucent pumps

― kingfish superman ice cream (kingfish 2.0), Saturday, 1 October 2005 17:49 (twenty years ago)

how come guys in porn never have shit on their stick after they've done anal?

― want to know, Saturday, 1 October 2005 17:51 (twenty years ago)

Dubbed.

― Don King of the Mountain (noodle vague), Saturday, 1 October 2005 17:52 (twenty years ago)

how come guys in porn never have shit on their stick after they've done anal?

-- want to know (wan...), October 1st, 2005.

Enemas.

― Ben in Dover, Saturday, 1 October 2005 18:04 (twenty years ago)

I read an article recently about going to a porn set and there is a lot of attention and anxiety regarding showing any excrement because it means instant obscenity law violations, so they make sure you never ever see it.

― kyle (akmonday), Saturday, 1 October 2005 18:11 (twenty years ago)

Why should porn depict how people have sex? Last I checked it wasn't intended as a documentary.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Saturday, 1 October 2005 19:25 (twenty years ago)

But how do people have sex? 100% missionary position in the dark?

― Ben in Dover, Saturday, 1 October 2005 19:37 (twenty years ago)

In the butt.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Saturday, 1 October 2005 19:40 (twenty years ago)

I would hazard a guess that the incidence of double penetration in real life is significantly lower than pornography might lead one to believe.

― nabiscothingy, Saturday, 1 October 2005 20:39 (twenty years ago)

"Porn is fake - straight guys aren't that comfortable around one another's penises!"

― nabiscothingy, Saturday, 1 October 2005 20:39 (twenty years ago)

Last night I dreamt I was in a canoe with two male ILXors, out in the middle of the ocean, and then one of them is all like "Man, there's nothing to do out here, let's compare penises," and then the other one drops his shorts and he has this MASSIVE chunky horselike penis, and then the first ILXor is like "hey, wow, that's a good one" (even though I got the distinct impression they'd done this before), and then gradually the first ILXor goes from pointing to it, conversationally, to kind of touching it, and then stroking it, and then eventually he's like groping all over it and I'm politely staring out across the endless ocean like "ho-hum, interesting tern over there, don't you think" while second ILXor is all like "ooo" and giggling.

I'M SORRY THREAD I WILL NEVER TRIFLE WITH YOU AGAIN

-- nabiscOHGODNO (oedipu...), September 16th, 2005 10:13 AM. (nabisco) (link)

― jaymc (jaymc), Saturday, 1 October 2005 20:43 (twenty years ago)

I imagine they were hoping to tern nabisco out.

― moley, Saturday, 1 October 2005 21:30 (twenty years ago)

god, we're all going to have to relive nabsico's dream again and again in some nightmarish episode of star trek that is ile.

― carly (carly), Saturday, 1 October 2005 23:29 (twenty years ago)

I have never had a dream like this.

― Alfred Soto (Alfred Soto), Saturday, 1 October 2005 23:37 (twenty years ago)

I just want to clarify that I wasn't upset by the penis. The problem was that the whole thing was really socially awkward. I mean, it's a bit third-wheely, when ILXors start stroking one another's bits and you're trapped two feet away. And all indications were that we were going to be trapped in that canoe for a good long while.

― nabiscothingy, Saturday, 1 October 2005 23:48 (twenty years ago)

i guess i meant, remember it. we do not often have to relive it per se.

― carly (carly), Saturday, 1 October 2005 23:52 (twenty years ago)

I think the most disturbing part of the dream is the descriptor "chunky."

― jaymc (jaymc), Saturday, 1 October 2005 23:52 (twenty years ago)

Well see the penis wasn't very human-looking. It was kind of, you know, horsey, or something.

― nabiscothingy, Saturday, 1 October 2005 23:54 (twenty years ago)

haha. horsey might be worse a descriptor than chunky. not sure though, because i am throwing up over here.

― carly (carly), Saturday, 1 October 2005 23:57 (twenty years ago)

I can't remember, did Nabisco ever make it clear WHOSE equipment was which in this scenario?

― Laurel, Sunday, 2 October 2005 00:31 (twenty years ago)

I have never publically admited, and will never publically admit, which ILXors were involved, or whose "equipment," as you put it, was at issue.

― nabiscothingy, Sunday, 2 October 2005 00:38 (twenty years ago)

Killjoy.

― Laurel, Sunday, 2 October 2005 00:41 (twenty years ago)

wow, saturday night and the coolest kids are all online.

― carly (carly), Sunday, 2 October 2005 00:44 (twenty years ago)

I am (a) sick and (b) weirdly intent on clarifying my relationship with the penis.

― nabiscothingy, Sunday, 2 October 2005 00:47 (twenty years ago)

Last night was such a blow-out, I'm only allowed to have that much fun once a week. Besides, if it weren't for Saturday nights I'd NEVER get my laundry folded.

― Laurel, Sunday, 2 October 2005 00:47 (twenty years ago)

FIFTH WHEEL, NOT THIRD

― tokyo nursery school: afternoon session (rosemary), Sunday, 2 October 2005 01:18 (twenty years ago)

THERE WERE THREE OF US AND THE OTHER TWO WERE FORMING LIKE VOLTRON INTO A TWELVE-SPEED SCHWINN COCKCYCLE

― nabiscothingy, Sunday, 2 October 2005 01:22 (twenty years ago)

I just want to clarify that I wasn't upset by the penis. The problem was that the whole thing was really socially awkward. I mean, it's a bit third-wheely, when ILXors start stroking one another's bits and you're trapped two feet away. And all indications were that we were going to be trapped in that canoe for a good long while.
-- nabiscothingy

When in Rome...

― moley, Sunday, 2 October 2005 01:41 (twenty years ago)

...do each other as the Romans did. Er, wait.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 2 October 2005 05:37 (twenty years ago)

Nabisco seems like an intelligent, even wise man, but in his dreams he's Caligula.

― moley, Sunday, 2 October 2005 07:24 (twenty years ago)

Some time ago, wasn't it really popular to film yourself having sex and then sell the tape? Never saw a tape of my neighbours having sex, thank GOD.

― nathalie, a bum like you (stevie nixed), Sunday, 2 October 2005 09:33 (twenty years ago)

porn is lord, some girls love it, while i had one chick who flat out refused to watch any of it, and would roll over and go to sleep if i even hinted i might put some on, she couldnt be in the same room with porn, she wasnt for me i worked out, i think when she saw my dvd collection and those first words from her mouth, i would rather sleep then watch that!@! it all went downhill after that...... never got to fuck her arse either, so was a prettty dissapointing 4 month relationship.... quite boring in bed really........

1: porn is your friend
2: pull out and cum on her back, stomach, face, fuck it just pull out and blow up in the air and tell ehr to catch
3: porn is great for chicks who know nothing :) you should them anal porn and in the end (haha) they wqill get interested and want to try it, this is a proven fact :):):) she started off no way, never, fuck you put that up my arse, then after a few dvd, devoted 100% to anal, she wanted to try it, she cried the whole time, never said stop and this went on 4 times a day, for a week, was great, then i dumped her :) hahahah

― rohan, Sunday, 2 October 2005 17:52 (twenty years ago)

:):):)

― sunny successor (he hates my guts, we had a fight) (katharine), Sunday, 2 October 2005 19:11 (twenty years ago)

hehehe

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Sunday, 2 October 2005 19:54 (twenty years ago)

hehehe?

― Porn is lord, Sunday, 2 October 2005 20:34 (twenty years ago)

comma splice is lord

― Banana Nutrament (ghostface), Sunday, 2 October 2005 20:49 (twenty years ago)

I don't understand this thread. Like most men, I am always driving around in a bus into which I lure women with whom I then perform sexual acts.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Sunday, 2 October 2005 21:30 (twenty years ago)

twelve years pass...

I just want to clarify that I wasn't upset by the penis

― fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Sunday, 22 April 2018 23:56 (seven years ago)

A+ thread revive

― ad homineminem (Ye Mad Puffin), Monday, 23 April 2018 00:11 (seven years ago)


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