In search of the perfect Dungeon Mistress.

Baaha :D

Um ... saving throw versus ... something?

A: Yes there was, though it was not a TSR product (as one would infer
from that name). Chiefly compiled by Reid Bluebaugh from
submissions by many people on the Internet (collectively known as
"The Guide Creator"), it has been revised to remove trademarks &
copyrighted material belonging to TSR, as well as make it more
applicable to more games than just AD&D; its proper name is now "The
Complete RPG Guide to Unlawful Carnal Knowledge." At this time, no
FTP site is publically known to contain any of the Complete Guides.
Revised versions of these files, in which all of TSR's trademarks
and any quotes from TSR's books have been removed, are slowly
making their way onto the net, via rec.games.frp.archives and a web
page, as the compiler finishes them. As none of them are really
AD&D-specific now, they are all called "The Complete RPG Guide
to..." or "The Fantasy Guide to..." Direct any questions about, as
well as any requests for copies of the Guides to Reid Bluebaugh
.
On a side note, if you happen to find a copy of a '92 version of
the Guide to Sex--or a copy of any of the guides which is dated
before 1996--pass it by. There are much better, much more complete
(some 200+ pages longer in a couple instances), and much more recent
versions available.

http://members.shaw.ca/gwynn/carnalguide/
http://www.lysator.liu.se/~johol/netbooks/CarnalGuide/TOC.html
http://www.lysator.liu.se/~johol/netbooks/CarnalGuide/carnal.txt
http://www.netbook-of-uck.net/

m.

At work.

Low-intelligent beings have an obsession with smut. They love to
purchase and look at pornographic periodicals. Player character's can
come across such periodicals in humanoid housing, a seedy magazine
stand, a gross conquered enemy, etc.. These periodicals need a name and
the following system gives a periodical a name:

1) Roll 2d10 on a Table 1 to get the race that created the periodical.
The writing (if any) in the periodical will be of the preferred
language of the race.

2) To get the name of the periodical:

- Roll 1d30 on Table 2 to get an adjective. You may roll more than
once if desired.
- Roll 1d20 on Table 3 to get an noun.

Thus, a roll of 4 and a roll of 14 would produce Jiggling Hooters.
But this isn't good enough for the old GM, so he rolls for another
adjective and gets a 25 Oily Jiggling Hooters. And the roll from step 1
reveals that Orcs created this periodical. Thus, we have Oily Jiggling
Hooters of Orcs.

TABLE 1: Humanoid Creators

Die Die
Roll Humanoid Roll Humanoid
2 Bugbear 12 Drow Elf
3 Gully Dwarf 13 Ettin
4 Gnoll 14 Goblin
5 Hag 15 Half-Orc
6 Harpy 16 Human
7 Hill Giant 17 Hobgoblin
8 Kobold 18 Lizard Man
9 Mongrelman 19 Orc
10 Ogre 20 Troglodyte
11 Were-Rat

TABLE 2: Adjectives

Die
Roll Adjective Roll Adjective Roll Adjective
1 Arousing 11 Big 21 Delectable
2 Erotic 12 Fleshly 22 Greasy
3 Hard 13 Hefty 23 Hors d'oeuvre
4 Jiggling 14 Juicy 24 Large
5 Luscious 15 Moist 25 Oily
6 Profuse 16 Savory 26 Scrumptious
7 Sensual 17 Slimy 27 Sticky
8 Stimulating 18 Succulent 28 Sumptuous
9 Swollen 19 Tantalizing 29 Tender
10 Titillating 20 Voluptuous 30 Warted

TABLE 3: Nouns

Roll Noun Roll Noun
1 Balls 11 Bolas
2 Butts 12 Caves
3 Clubs 13 Dungeons
4 Holes 14 Hooters
5 Jugs 15 Knockers
6 Lingerie 16 Mounds
7 Pits 17 Rods
8 Staves 18 Strongholds
9 Stuff 19 Swords
10 Wands of Wonder 20 Wonkers

A typical periodical may contain perverse artwork, Q&As, forum,
advice column, letters, or raunchy stories. They are not necessary
created on printing presses. They can be hand-written or drawn by
scribes or artists. The lower intelligent beings are so primitive they
usually have clumps of scrolls with their perversion on them. The key
for success with this system is for the GM to think. How intelligent
are the authors? What resources do they possess? What is believable
and realistic? This isn't a detailed system, it is merely guidelines to
stimulate creative thought in the GM.

http://www.kolumbus.fi/raine.maattanen/gurps/gurps_sex.htm