women: don't expect any help on a Thursday

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So, ladies of ilx.. do you normally expect help (on non-Thursdays?) on like electrical stuff and MEN things like i don't know.. opening tight jam jars?

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 10:04 (twenty years ago)

ENOUGH OF THIS SEXUALIST MENTALISM

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 10:09 (twenty years ago)

Ken, really don't do this. I'm about two steps aways from hysteria as it is, without you bringing up one of the worst ad caqmpaigns in magazine history.

― Anna (Anna), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 10:11 (twenty years ago)

Given that it was an advert for one of the worst magazines in publishing history, I thought it was very astute.

― Nobody, Wednesday, 5 October 2005 10:17 (twenty years ago)

Men: Don't Expect any girlfriends on Friday.

― Pete (Pete), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 10:18 (twenty years ago)

I'm with Anna on this one.

― Paranoid Spice (kate), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 10:19 (twenty years ago)

Surely it's only a bit of fun?

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 10:20 (twenty years ago)

calm down, dear

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 10:22 (twenty years ago)

sorry i'm not helping here am i?

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 10:23 (twenty years ago)

(and it's only wednesday!)

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 10:23 (twenty years ago)

Today I hate fun. I am grumpy and under-caffinated and I had a row with my boyfriend this morning and I can see a job I really want slipping away because I don't have time to do the application and I want to sleep for a hundred years.

Plus ... it isn't that funny really is it?

― Anna (Anna), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 10:24 (twenty years ago)

Whilst I think it may be admirable to explore gender issues on this board, I wonder if the way said issues are being broached in the correct way.

Or rather, if someone broaches the "jjust a bit of fun" argument within eight posts we really are in dire straits.

― Pete (Pete), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 10:25 (twenty years ago)

I mean, what is this thread about? Is about gender role divisions? Like, who does the cooking and the washing up and who changes the lightbulbs and winds the clocks?

Or is it a criticism of this (I believe genuinely quite sexist and borderline offensive) ad campaign?

I don't want to come off like a humourless feminist, honestly. (I am humourless but it's nothing to do with being feminist.)

Because honestly, if we're talking about it, I think it's a shit ad for a shit publication. But then again, I also find those Mr Muscle style "look how rubbish men are at household cleaning" adverts quite sexist and offensive as well.

― Paranoid Spice (kate), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 10:29 (twenty years ago)

i'm kind of interested in this actually. but yes change the thread title if you likes.

I told this lady on a bus this morning at the camden bus stop, when she switched seats from a full to an empty one that the bus in fact terminates there. But she already knew apparently and I felt like a fool for trying to be helpful. It was perplexing.

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 10:30 (twenty years ago)

it's really about whether i should offer help to females who didn't ask. i guess. in case it comes off as being condescending.

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 10:31 (twenty years ago)

Would you have said anything if it had been a guy on the bus?

― C J (C J), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 10:31 (twenty years ago)

If she had been a man you would surely have done the same thing no?

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 10:32 (twenty years ago)

which ad campaign is being referred to, out of curiosity?

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 10:32 (twenty years ago)

advert in sexist & borderline offensive shocker, I know.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 10:33 (twenty years ago)

Closet Homo-Eroticists Weekly

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 10:33 (twenty years ago)

It's for one of those crap weekly sport-n-tits men's "magazines"

(I can't remember which one, which shows how well the advert worked on me)

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 10:34 (twenty years ago)

Zuts. Or was it Noo? I forget.

― Me, Wednesday, 5 October 2005 10:35 (twenty years ago)

well yes. today's was a generic example of offering needless help. but i was thinking more in the lines of the more traditional gentleman offering aids to ladies in need. and where the line is drawn in these modern times when actually we realise that ladies are quite capable of doing things themselves.

but are there females who do still expect help on things without asking?

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 10:35 (twenty years ago)

I always offer to help ladies with their ablutions.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 10:36 (twenty years ago)

oh no, my answer really ought to have been "haha a man would never do a dumb thing as to swap seats seconds before leaving a bus duh" sorry.

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 10:37 (twenty years ago)

When it comes to helping women on public transport ,nothing can be as bad as the classic "fat or pregnant" question.

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 10:42 (twenty years ago)

I don't think you're supposed to ask that question.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 10:46 (twenty years ago)

In a situation where it's obvious that a person needs help, I think the gracious thing for others to do is offer help, regardless of gender.

However, the quandary lies in the term "obvious".

I don't expect help from anyone (of either gender). However it can be nice when it happens.

The situation that springs frequently to mind is that of women with strollers who require help up stairs. And streams of people will go by, but often it will be a woman who gives the required hand up the stairs. (though that brings up a memory I will always treasure, of Liz texting me to say that she'd just helped Bobby G tote a dirty dronerock baby up the stairs at Kings X.)

― Paranoid Spice (kate), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 10:48 (twenty years ago)

i think it's rude whether you offer to help a woman to get fat or to get pregnant, on a bus.

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 10:48 (twenty years ago)

WRT the "fat or pregnant" question, I don't really care so long as I get the seat. But then again, I'm selfish.

― Paranoid Spice (kate), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 10:49 (twenty years ago)

A certain member of these boards has been known to stick her tummy out in order to get a seat.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 10:50 (twenty years ago)

i think getting pregnant is quite a lot of hassle just for the sake of a seat

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 10:50 (twenty years ago)

You get a council house thrown in.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 10:50 (twenty years ago)

would your jokes like to sit down ken?

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 10:51 (twenty years ago)

Sometimes its nice to be offered help when you DON'T actually need it. Far better than the reverse, and far more common situation, of being ignored when you blatantly could do with assistance. Its a sad situation when someone can't receive an offer of help graciously. In such moments, it helps to PUT A KNIFE IN THEIR EYES.

― hobart paving (hobart paving), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 10:53 (twenty years ago)

are you trying to tell me my jokes are phat?

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 10:55 (twenty years ago)

I think if someone offered me a seat when I didn't need it I'd be embarrassed at everyone around thinking "what a poof/cheeky sod". Maybe I could arrange it with a stooge granny as an art prank.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 10:56 (twenty years ago)

I'm officially adding Stooge Granny to my list of made-up band names for when I write a novel set in the world of indie.

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 11:00 (twenty years ago)

PHAT
CHAT
CHAP
CRAP

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 11:02 (twenty years ago)

I've met a Stooge Granny.

― Paranoid Spice (kate), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 11:03 (twenty years ago)

If only poofs did get free seats on buses. I would spend all day travelling round, thrusting my sexuality in people's faces.

― hobart paving (hobart paving), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 11:04 (twenty years ago)

so if you offer a seat to someone you're basically saying that they're crap? actually i guess that makes sense!

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 11:05 (twenty years ago)

maybe they should change the signs on buses to be "please offer your seat to someone who's crap at standing"

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 11:05 (twenty years ago)

I don't think I believe in chivalry anymore, as opposed to just being courteous to people as and when.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 11:08 (twenty years ago)

You can give your seat up without making it obvious, though, can't you? That way you avoid the embarassing "you're old, have my seat" situation.

Yesterday, I had a row with a man who thought his newspaper deserved a seat on the train more than I did.

― hobart paving (hobart paving), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 11:09 (twenty years ago)

yes but the question is whether it is expected of you.

xpost

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 11:10 (twenty years ago)

well newspapers don't have any legs.

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 11:11 (twenty years ago)

Was it the Telegraph or the Mail?

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 11:11 (twenty years ago)

Well, half the bus will be sitting in their seats and tutting that you haven't given up yours..

x-post

― hobart paving (hobart paving), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 11:11 (twenty years ago)

xpost how old was his newspaper?

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 11:11 (twenty years ago)

It was The Times, so it probably was quite feeble.

― hobart paving (hobart paving), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 11:12 (twenty years ago)

yes but the question is whether it is expected of you.

xpost

how would i find out?

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 11:12 (twenty years ago)

I am surprised no one has offered to help Anna fill in her form.

― PJ Miller (PJ Miller 68), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 11:15 (twenty years ago)

by asking on this thread xpost

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 11:16 (twenty years ago)

Yep, I just believe in being nice. I do feel terrible if I am sitting in the mothers with babies/elderly seats because I have luggage on the luggage bit, but I don't want to leave that, and equally sometimes the only place you can travel with suitcases is in the buggy area.

I am generally of the opinion though that anyone who travels at rush hour knows what to expect. It is why I don't travel at rush hour.

The helping a baby buggy up and down steps is a great thing and I love doing it, unless it is one of those three wheeler ones which have nothing to grab and take up too much space and are RUBBIDGE!-

― Pete (Pete), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 11:19 (twenty years ago)

Wow...people with buggies just let you sit there? You want to try tavelling in Birmingham. Actually, no you don't. You're lucky if they don't remove their baby from the pushchair and bludgeon you over the head with it.

Also, why do people take double-buggies on the bus, not fold them up, and then get angry when they can't get them through a crowd of people?

― hobart paving (hobart paving), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 11:29 (twenty years ago)

In Streatham they don't bother removing the baby before bludgeoning!

(then again, as someone who frequently has to transport tons of music gear at rush hour, I often end up in the disabled seat simply because I don't want my bags of gear either nicked (this has happened before) or taken off and blown up as a suspect device.)

― Paranoid Spice (kate), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 11:33 (twenty years ago)

I meant with the baby, not the pushchair.

― hobart paving (hobart paving), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 11:34 (twenty years ago)

My favourite is when they use the babycarriage as a battering device to prevent doors from closing - and then start shouting at the bus driver for closing the doors on their baby.

One of the more recent Brixton busfites got started that way.

― Paranoid Spice (kate), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 11:35 (twenty years ago)

Yes, I have witnessed such behaviour. An equally clever manouevre is pushing the buggy out into the road to stop the traffic.

― hobart paving (hobart paving), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 12:11 (twenty years ago)

Also fun in busy shopping centres when people use their baby's buggy as a sort of snowplough to push other shoppers out of the way.

― Archel (Archel), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 12:27 (twenty years ago)

Mind my heels, ow!

― Mädchen (Madchen), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 12:27 (twenty years ago)

>> An equally clever manouevre is pushing the buggy out into the road to stop the traffic.

I have to admit when trying to cross busy roads I will walk down to where a mother with pushchair is standing cos I know I'm more likely to get across there!

― Colonel Poo (Colonel Poo), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 13:09 (twenty years ago)

Huzzah, it appears ILx has found a common enemy. DESTROY!

― Pete (Pete), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 13:19 (twenty years ago)

Yeh, all mums, single or not. Good work liberals.

― Come Back Johnny B (Johnney B), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 13:22 (twenty years ago)

People with babies are often at the end of their tether. It is wise for others to make allowances.

Perhaps we should have a thread about all the obstacles faced by people with pushchairs.

― PJ Miller (PJ Miller 68), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 13:24 (twenty years ago)

oh boRING. Its much more fun to bitch in an uninformed way.

― hobart paving (hobart paving), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 13:36 (twenty years ago)

(it is nice to see the word "liberals" being used, once again, as an insult though...)

― hobart paving (hobart paving), Wednesday, 5 October 2005 13:37 (twenty years ago)

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