How do you poo?

i've nearly popped a vein, if that counts

Everything counts, in large amounts.

well, there was this one time i went to this curry house, it was a buffet kind of place but my stomach wasn't feeling all that well anyway, so I really couldn't eat a lot. They had Lamb Vindaloo, Chicken Rogan and Bombay Potatoes on offer. My stomach was feeling so fragile that I had to Pick Only One.

I chose the Lamb Vindaloo, and never regretted it one bit. If I were to POO all over again I'd POO the same Vindaloo.

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. ^_^

Dude, Vindaloo poo smarts. And then there's an afterglow that I swear makes a throbbing humming noise like in the movies where something radioactive is glowing.

Last year, I bought my (then) girlfriend a new range of Gucci scent called "Perfume Of Oranges". I wrapped the POO up in a box for her to open on the morning of her birthday, and sure enough she was pretty flummoxed to say the least, to see POO given as a gift. However she warmed to it quite quickly, and within days got into the habit of putting POO behind each ear and on the wrists every morning... in fact it may have even helped her in a job interview the following week! The pungeant, unmistakable scent of POO would have made her a unique candidate, that's for sure.... The woman interviewing her even asked if she could sample some of her POO on the neck to see what her husband thought, and my girlfriend happily obliged!! Her motto became "Share your POO as much as possible, and with as many different people as you can!"

Sadly I don't see her anymore. One morning she suddenly emigrated to Germany without a moment's notice. Shame.....

excelosiur lok m

From "News of the Weird":

"The National Health Service office in Dundee, Scotland, has recommended toilet techniques for the estimated one-third of the population that suffers from bowel and bladder dysfunction, according to an April report in The Times of London. The pamphlet, "Good Defecation Dynamics," lists preferred breathing habits and describes the proper, upright, seated posture for effective elimination ("Keep your mouth open as you bulge and widen"), and encourages support for the feet, perhaps "a small footstool." [The Times (London), 4-29-06]"

"Keep your mouth open as you bulge and widen":

http://www.library.gatech.edu/about_us/news/banned/images/grendel.gif