Do you wander over to strangers in public places and engage them in conversation?

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I don't. I wish I did. Do you? Does it ever lead to lasting friendships or sexual relationships?

― N., Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

[prompted by watching 'Would Like To Meet' update on TV last night]

― N., Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

my neighbour's son was outed as "good in bed" on that programme!

― mark s, Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i hate people,e specially in public.

― Geoff, Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I tried once (in a club). Unmitigated disaster. Other times I've done so in a less forced fashion (that is, helping someone cheat on a test, shopping in a record store, meeting @ a party), it's been just peachy. Catch as catch can; if you drop the ball, you shouldn't let that stop you.

Of course, it stops me.

― David Raposa, Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Please reveal the details of the unmitigated disaster, daver.

― N., Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Does talking to strangers in, say a bar ever lead to sexual relationships? Uh, yeah. Or so I've read.

― Sean, Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Nothing special, N. Just a painfully stilted conversation that ended abruptly and left me feeling quite dopey. (And it was a conversation with a guy, with absolutely no sexual "thing" happening at all. In some ways, that's even worse.)

― David Raposa, Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I've read it too Sean. I just wanted to know if it was all MEDIA LIES. And to hear personal reports.

― N., Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

On the train home (well actually walking through stations and the tube and stuff) I kept noticing various pretty GURLS possibly smiling at me. This keeps happening and I'm wndering whether it's my God complex playing up (but Sara did chase after me the first time we met, I haven't asked her why yet), or whether I should try speaking to them next time. What the fuck do I say?

― Graham, Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Do you mean she literally chased you? I like this image.

S: "Come here boy-girl!" G: "Yikes! I'M OFF"

Girls are always looking at me too, Graham. I doesn't mean you're God, but it's nice. Of course, they could just be intrigued about our gender.

― N., Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Nick, I was kidding. I've more than just read it. Are you really saying you've never had a conversation in a bar with someone and then brought them home? What kind of tales do you want to hear? I've done it many, many times. I'm sure I'm not the only one.

― Sean, Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

No, I was being somewhat disengenuous. Maybe I just wanted tips (no, I have never done it). And stories. But I am also interested in the platonic side of this - just going up to people with a view to making friends.

― N., Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

disengenuous = disingenuous. That word is not only hard to spell but never means what I quite want it to mean, either. I mean I was being faux-naif in suggesting that it was an extraordinary thing to do. I know people do it - I see it all the time. Although people I know never seem to. I obviously just hang out with social retards. I mean, I get talking to people in bars and clubs sometimes, but only if it happens in like a 'natural' way, like David R describes. I never just get someone across the room in my sights and move in.

― N., Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i think its fun as crap to talk to completely random people. alcholol does seem t help this process. throw a few Heinys in me, and im a bloody chatty cathy with anyone.

― Brock K., Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I used to be good friends with a girl who could just walk up to anyone and strike up a conversation - in fact, that's how her and I became friends! I was shopping around at Target for some new notebooks and she just started talking to me. Observing her behavior and her talking to strangers, I've noticed that she never really made any good friends nor any sexual partners - usually it just amounted to some creep who decided to follow her around all night or whoever she decided to talk to treating her like she was nutty.

― Mandee, Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Very much like that. We'd just had some university intorductory talk and afterwards she asked me when our next one was, and it being my first week and having yet to speak to *anyone*, I said the minimum possible ("'morrow, 'leven [subtext: LEAVE ME ALONE]") and [politely] RANAWAY.

All she asked when she caught up was where it was, which she could have found out from anyone else there (I'm sure she'd have been confident enough to) or from her own timetable (she = v. organised). So for whatever reason she wanted to speak to me. I shall ask her about it right away.

― Graham, Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

(That was a response to Fearful Dastoor, though it works just as well with Mandee's comment)

― Graham, Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i do

― anthony, Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

wander over to strangers in public places and engage them in conversation

this is so troubling. I keep thinking of weird men in shorts and puffy jackets and greased-back hair who sort of fix you with their gradient sunglasses and mutter something in bad French to impress you, and when you respond in kind get all flustered and go "je ne parle le francais" and then try to talk to you about harry nilsson. Which actually happened to me and Bryan and Lisa last Saturday. "engaging in conversation with a stranger" just sounds so weird. i think "wryly making light of the situation with the guy/girl next to you" works better. unless you are wearing shorts and a shell suit top and get your songs lost in the jukebox and complain about it like a damn fool.

― Tracer Hand, Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

It has been known, for every interesting conversation alas there's someone convinced you're a nuttah.

Last good one was with a 50 + marxist bloke called Bob (+ his dog) down my local. Worst, two middle-aged women in a pub in Glasgow. me -sleep deprivation, travel weary, and in need of human contact, they- apparently convinced I was trying to get them both in bed.

― stevo, Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I'd like to sometimes. I fear, however, that I may get to the approaching a stranger part and then say nothing, which would make said person beleive that I was some kind of weirdo.

― james, Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

fuck no.

― Duane, Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i don't, because i usually assume that everyone i don't know isn't worth knowing until they prove otherwise.

but sometimes people walk up to me on the street and start talking to me. sometimes its great, like the time i was at the busstop and some kid started talking to me about his ballet classes and then proceeded to rap the entire nelly CD at me. but most of the time its awful. like the rabid christian guy who tried to befriend me and now he tries to talk to me about his god and getting a cheap asian bride everytime i see him and i hate being rude to people but i have gotten to the point where i just cross the road when i see him coming.

― di, Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Yes. Yes.

― sundar subramanian, Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Yes, I like to give people an entertaining story for their friends

― Menelaus Darcy, Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Only to mad old people when im walking Ringo (the dog I live with).

― ducklingmonster, Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

A woman started up a conversation with me in the (very long) lingerie queue in the House of Fraser sale yesterday. She seemed pretty depressed and told me lots of stuff I wouldn't even tell my mother. Eventually she asked what I was buying, and when I showed her she said, 'ooh, who're you trying to impress?', which could've been funny but there was an undertone of creeping malice that made me feel like I'd been called on something very horrible, and that feeling of being unmasked hung around me all afternoon. (I wouldn't be trying to impress anybody, I was trying to please myself).

― Ellie, Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Sorry to be anecdotal but ANYWAY I was walking my dog on the beach and a lady had a daschund, but I thought 'sausage dog' was the name of the breed. And she said 'nice dog' so I said 'your sausage dog is nice too' and she got really mad and said 'this is a pure bred!' and walked off.

― maryann, Saturday, 29 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

hah! THis happens to us as well. No, they don't US sausage dogs. They refer to our bassets artesiens. Sometimes kids yell "Hey look a STOVE PIPE."

― helenfordsdale, Saturday, 29 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

duckling, you forget about grant mcdougall

― Menelaus Darcy, Saturday, 29 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The only time I talk to complete strangers is for 1. The time, and 2. If I'm making a stupid story up to make someone I'm with laugh. Being completely open to strangers in New York City is kind of like playing social Russian Roulette. and...we used to call those "weiner dogs" in texas.

― Gage-o, Saturday, 29 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

One time I started chatting with a guy next to me at a concert. A few weeks ago he approached me at a concert. I hadn't recognized him. He apparently did. Or maybe he likes to talk to strangers. "Hey I think I have met you before."

― helenfordsdale, Saturday, 29 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Yes all the time. Last night I was at my debs ball and we went to some wine bar afterwards at 5 or so. Una had gone home and I couldn't find anyone I wanted to talk to from my school so I went and started talking to these black guys from London. It proved to be a good move because it was one of their 30th birthdays and they had champagne which they kept giving to me. They also kept trying to chat up girls for me but I wasn't interested because Una had gone home so it was quite funny, they were making a genuine nice effort and I was like "eh so yeah see you later".

― Ronan, Saturday, 29 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Last night when I was drunk I wandered over to a service station attendant and asked him if I could touch his hair, which I feel sort of embarrassed about now. I wasn't trying to make friends with him, it was just that his hair was really long and shiny and pretty. He didn't seem to mind though, not even when my fingers got tangled up and had to be freed by his (short haired) co-worker.

― rainy, Saturday, 29 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

You can stroke my long and shiny and pretty hair anytime you like. YOU CAN. When your parcel arrives, anyway.

― Graham, Saturday, 29 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Ahem, Graham, that's *my* line. I believe you were saying something like "Oh please, please, please, do not smite my undeserving self."

― Ned Raggett, Saturday, 29 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I don't, though people constantly do it to me.

I'm not sure why. Something about me seems to make people feel they have a right to talk to me. Comments range from people (constantly) assuming I'm gay to people asking if I'm anorexic (once, in Manchester a girl asked me if I was anorexic, I misheard and thought she asked me "Where's the exit" and replied "I don't know - ask someone else").

I have made a few quite reasonable friendships from people coming up to me in clubs/gigs/&c and talking to me (this sort of = how I met my girlfriend)

― jamesmichaelward, Saturday, 29 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

My dad says, 'it's surprising how you get talking to folks.' I say it's surprising how I don't get talking to folks.

― Peter Miller, Sunday, 30 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

two years pass...

You can stroke my long and shiny and pretty hair anytime you like. YOU CAN. When your parcel arrives, anyway.

Ah!! The origin of the hair posting fiasco.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 29 January 2004 00:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Re: Orignial question
Yes and Yes

― Orbit (Orbit), Thursday, 29 January 2004 02:00 (twenty-two years ago)

I wish more people did, honestly. Lord knows I've given up (on most people).

― Francis Watlington (Francis Watlington), Thursday, 29 January 2004 02:40 (twenty-two years ago)

is this thread about picking up girls?

― omg, Thursday, 29 January 2004 02:49 (twenty-two years ago)

no it's about talking to people you don't know. and having it lead to a meaning friendship or relationship. (at least that's what I thought)

― Orbit (Orbit), Thursday, 29 January 2004 03:00 (twenty-two years ago)

does blowjob count as meaning friendship or relationship?

― omg, Thursday, 29 January 2004 03:04 (twenty-two years ago)

neither

― Orbit (Orbit), Thursday, 29 January 2004 03:05 (twenty-two years ago)

I think someone's joshing yr chain, Orbit. And it ain't me.

― Francis Watlington (Francis Watlington), Thursday, 29 January 2004 03:06 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm too tired to care.

― Orbit (Orbit), Thursday, 29 January 2004 03:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Talking to strangers is "like a Box of Chocolates", to lift a line from Forrest Gump. You never know what yer gonna get.

― jim wentworth (wench), Thursday, 29 January 2004 03:42 (twenty-two years ago)

I keep thinking of weird men in shorts and puffy jackets and greased-back hair who sort of fix you with their gradient sunglasses and mutter something in bad French to impress you, and when you respond in kind get all flustered and go "je ne parle le francais" and then try to talk to you about harry nilsson.

Wait, wait, has this ever actually happened to anyone?

― Allyzay, Thursday, 29 January 2004 04:03 (twenty-two years ago)

argh!!! dammit!

― The River Kate (kate), Thursday, 29 January 2004 04:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Kate's modus operandi is blown.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 29 January 2004 11:52 (twenty-two years ago)

My best one of these was this completely drunk Russian guy, we talked about DRUNK TYPE SHIT for a while then I moved things on to COMMUNIST RUSSIA! So I brought up Beria and I dunno a bunch of other prominent Russian Communist types and the Lenin conspiracy theories etc and he made the 'You know too much!!' joke about 5 times. He was about 50, obv. It ruled. Otherwise I'm the creepy drunk in the 4 or so other times I can remember, sorry ladies/men

― Silly Sailor (Andrew Thames), Thursday, 29 January 2004 12:29 (twenty-two years ago)

well, considering the random girl i 'adopted' at the quiz on tuesday, i can't say no. normally, i don't talk to people in bars or other public places, but sometimes i'll just start talking to people. usually this just leads to an evening of conversation rather than long-term friendships or relationships, but i guess there have been a few exceptions.

― colette (a2lette), Thursday, 29 January 2004 12:32 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't talk to most people I know.

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 29 January 2004 12:34 (twenty-two years ago)

i much enjoyed the sign language conversation with you the last time.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 29 January 2004 12:39 (twenty-two years ago)

I keep myself to myself. Any time someone gets too close I launch into a loud anecdote about my children, of which I have none, but I don't let that stop me.

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 29 January 2004 13:11 (twenty-two years ago)

i do it sometimes when i'm drunk - when there's something to talk about e.g. at a bus stop when a bus driver is being a MORON. or sometimes when i ask people for the time or something they'd end up talking to me for ages.

never led to sex, which is good cos most of the time the conversations were with middle aged blokes.

there was one time on the tube when some girl thought the way i ate chips was funny. and i'd have totally struck up a conversation had i not been too drunk to speak/do anything apart from carry on eating my chips in a funny manner. should have at least offered a chip but i was hungry.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 29 January 2004 13:25 (twenty-two years ago)

A girl sort of tried to start a conversation w/me about waiting for BUSES at the BUSSTOP the other day, she was like 14 tho

― Silly Sailor (Andrew Thames), Thursday, 29 January 2004 14:38 (twenty-two years ago)

one of my friends started talking to a guy at the bus stop and she ended up inviting him home and they went out a few times!

― colette (a2lette), Thursday, 29 January 2004 14:42 (twenty-two years ago)

My mom has always made it a point to embarass me by striking up awkward conversations with strangers. The worst was when she started talking to a cashier in a health food store about how do deal with this STD she had. This was all said in front of me and I was in high school at the time. And then there was that time my grandmother made the hot young stock boy at Kroger's help me find the sanitary napkins.

In conclusion, I never ever talk to strangers. My silence is an apology of sorts for my family.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 29 January 2004 14:44 (twenty-two years ago)

girls can pull this off a lot easier than boys i'd imagine - cos when a girl does it the reaction is not always immediately "FUCK THIS FREAKO IS TALKING TO ME BUGGER OFF!". Unless you live in london.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 29 January 2004 14:51 (twenty-two years ago)

I approached a bunch of high school girls and ask them if they wanna have some serious FUN. They sad 'yes', and so we went to nearby snooker parlour. That was a long time ago.

― Death and Despair, Thursday, 29 January 2004 15:18 (twenty-two years ago)

one of my friends started talking to a guy at the bus stop and she ended up inviting him home and they went out a few times!

This has happened to me on two occasions (although on one of those I was drunk and forcibly DRAGGED onto said bus).

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 29 January 2004 15:20 (twenty-two years ago)

seriously? girls have picked you up at the bus stop and forced you to go home with them? no wonder you reject my feeble attempts at matchmaking, you stud!

― colette (a2lette), Thursday, 29 January 2004 15:43 (twenty-two years ago)

three years pass...

I approached a bunch of high school girls and ask them if they wanna have some serious FUN. They sad 'yes', and so we went to nearby snooker parlour. That was a long time ago.
-- Death and Despair, Thursday, January 29, 2004 3:18 PM (3 years ago) Bookmark Link

― Surmounter, Monday, 16 July 2007 20:58 (eighteen years ago)

i still want to know if tracer's example actually came from anything approaching real life.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, 16 July 2007 21:00 (eighteen years ago)

some dude (aged around 50, wearing nice suit) once tried to convince me to join the foreign service, after i made his acquaintance on the drunken last train out of charing cross. i was seriously tempted to find out what he was on about. he mentioned some sort of internet fast-track. still haven't investigated.

― Just got offed, Monday, 16 July 2007 21:16 (eighteen years ago)

p.s. i do this (thread title) fairly often

― Just got offed, Monday, 16 July 2007 21:17 (eighteen years ago)

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