'Good in bed'

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Is one of my least favourite phrases in existence. I'm sure this reveals all sorts of sexual hang ups on my part, but maybe that's my point.

― N., Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

So, N., please describe the sexual hang-ups you beliueve you might suffer from, in detail, with reference to the most disgusting things to have come out of your ass, if you feel they're pertinent.

― Mark C, Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

what d'you prefer? porno in the sack? (ps i was quoting, on the other thread)

― mark s, Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Marks:

C: leave me alone.

Mark s, I know you were. "Porno in the sack" would be marginally preferable on wtf grounds, but it's really the concept I don't like.

― N., Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i dislike the phrase because it implies sex as a performance which someone is good/bad at, regardless of the partner, which is a particularly self-oriented way of looking at something, i cannot relate to that. for me, it is something shared between 2 people, and the emotions etc involved would transcend any 'ability' the other person had.

― gareth, Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

being evil in bed is much more interesting!

― katie, Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

What does that involve? Eating biscuits and soiling the bedclothes?

― N., Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Or sticking a hot poker up yr ass?

― AP, Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

whatever's yr bag!

― katie, Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Sticking yr head in a bag? Is this a Michael Hutchence thing?

― AP, Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

My serious point is that I agree with Gareth quite a bit. But maybe some men are just 'good in bed' and that's the end of it. Maybe I am. I don't fucking know. But it pisses me off when I hear women say it about someone and they get that look in their eye.

― N., Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Do men ever say it about women? Not in my experience, really. Maybe it's cause we feel like we are supposed to be making all the effort.

― N., Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Maybe it's b/c men are just to happy to get in a woman in bed and don't quibble about the quality.

― Samantha, Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I fear Samantha may be on the money.

― N., Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

blimey! it's Samantha's on the money day! :)

― katie, Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

um, that's not meaning to suggest that Samantha is rarely on the money - far from it. it's just that the last 2 threads i read had her being so (this and the Nimoy Photography thread)

― katie, Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i'm very hung over katie which you would think would inhibit being OTM but who knows?

Last night was the premier of a garage/surf/punk club night that Hank and another guy are djing. We were trying to think of a good name. Some finalists: Fuzz Local 301; The Human Flys; George Harrison's Corpse. Preferences?

― Samantha, Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Samantha, you may be riding high on a wave of money, but that's no excuse for hijacking my thread so tangentially.

Fuzz Local 301

― N., Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

hm yes i like Fuzz Local 301 as well.

― katie, Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Dr.Strangelove's Boogie Woogie Wonderland!

I shall not attempt any good in bed...oh you mean sex? jokes.

― james, Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

no one actually says "Soandso is good in bed!" thats just in the movies.

― chiznaki, Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i must live in a movie then.

i hope it's an interesting one, with lots of plot twists and some sort of happy ending. or really anything but a teen slasher movie, please.

― nancy b., Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The girl said it on TV last night! "[x] is good in bed!" I meet [x]'s dad on the stairs every other day! (Tho not today sadly!)

― mark s, Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i think everyone man in existence has the capacity to be good in bed. but they all need to be taught how. and then they have to relearn with each successive partner. some men would do well if they opened their ears.

― di, Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Certain women would do well to learn and open their ears, too. Perhaps if they did they wouldn't make so many gross generalizations all the time.

― Phil, Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Of course the funny thing is, with one obvious change and a couple of smaller ones, I agree with you:

"i think every person in existence has the capacity to be good in bed. but they need to know how to communicate with their partner to understand their partner's needs. [they also should know some basic anatomy, and do a little reading on sexology and human sexuality.] and then they have to relearn with each successive partner, since everybody's responses and needs are different. some people just need to open their ears a little more."

― Phil, Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

But that's exactly what she said.

― Graham, Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

No, she said "men", not "people".

― Phil, Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

No, she said "everyone man."

― bnw, Friday, 28 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

but does this mean "every one man" (ie every single man) or "everyone, man" (ie di is a hippy, maaaan)??

― carsmilesteve, Saturday, 29 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

it's SO a hippy thing to say: "everyone has the capacity to love, man" => di = phil = hippies

OK, so how bout this?
"everyone has the potential to love the Man, man"

― mark s, Saturday, 29 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Pervert.

― Ned Raggett, Saturday, 29 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Well, there are the next-evolution men, who have moved beyond the "I'm just glad to get a girl in bed" ethos, and have jumped to the next step, which is "I've gotta be better in bed than the other guy, to prolong my sexual status." That, I think, is the idea behind "good in bed." I , however, would not use that phrase. I would use the phrase "he/she is handy with common household appliances." It is much more overt.

― Gage-o, Saturday, 29 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I'm sorry to say that i do believe the "good in bed" cliche to be a well-founded one. Some people are just good, and some people are just bad. But it's not nice to judge, really.

― Tim, Saturday, 29 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

phil = hippie

It took you this long to figure that out?

Myself, I think "good in bed" is a more-or-less viable phrase that doesn't necessarily imply that one size fits all (so to speak!). It depends quite a bit on what the speaker means, of course, since it varies according to what they want. Some will slant it more towards the stamina / power / physical characteristics end of the spectrum, while others will place a greater emphasis on a person's sensitivity, understanding, creativity, open-mindedness and ability to adapt.

I do agree that it's a phrase leveled more often at men, since sex is often portrayed as something in which men are the ones who are expected to perform and, thus, are the ones to be evaluated. (cf. "50 Ways Men Fail in Bed" and other popular forwards.) I would submit that that's a very limited view, though, and one that does a lot to perpetuate a fair number of bad things.

― Phil, Saturday, 29 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Women can be crap in bed. I'm crap in bed. I'm lazy and I don't like to move. I've even heard rumours about how crap I am in bed.

― toraneko, Saturday, 29 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I heart toraneko.

― N., Saturday, 29 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

>>Certain women would do well to learn and open their ears, too. Perhaps if they did they wouldn't make so many gross generalizations all the time. <<

oh calm down.

― di, Saturday, 29 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Do you think it might just mean 'big cock'? It could be a kind of code.

― Peter Miller, Sunday, 30 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Informal survey would suggest that's maybe (....calculating level of emphasis used into a numerical figure....) 30% of the term.

― Tim, Sunday, 30 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

In that case, I'm EXCELLENT in bed.

― Dan Perry, Sunday, 30 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Ahem. You're supposed to be counting in inches, not centimeters.

― Ned Raggett, Sunday, 30 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I agree w/ Tim that one can indeed be "good in bed" -- and also that it is not innate, but a matter of style, really. There's a certain degree of quantitative knowledge -- moves, etc. which produces fairly universal results.

― Sterling Clover, Sunday, 30 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Area codes! Damn.

― Tracer Hand, Monday, 31 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

You say that now, Sterling. ;-)

― Ned Raggett, Monday, 31 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

It's all in the way you move. Fluidity is good. And it's always better to be too gentle rather than too rough. Asking for it harder is easy but asking for it softer is scary.

― toraneko, Monday, 31 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"Good" = perceptive, enthusiastic, active rather than passive. Has relatively little to do with physical appearance. Technique can be a nice bonus, but it's not much more than that.

― Douglas, Monday, 31 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Don't forget confidence. That's 50% of it by itself. For me, my confidence can fluctuate wildly, even with the same person. Alcohol seems to make less difference than you'd think.

― Mark C, Monday, 31 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Ahem. You're supposed to be counting in inches, not centimeters.

Don't be a hater, Ned. Few people can "hang" with the DJP.

― Dan Perry, Monday, 31 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

SAUCE!!

― katie, Monday, 31 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Skipping 73 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

i was referring to not having a problem with oral sex slobber.

― kephm, Wednesday, 23 July 2003 17:54 (twenty-two years ago)

you mean you don't find it alluring ally?

― Chris Radford (Chris Radford), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 17:55 (twenty-two years ago)

'Alluring Ally'

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 17:56 (twenty-two years ago)

as a young kephm i lost many a girl to the slobber that is my jagger lips. they drowned. (this has changed)

― kephm, Wednesday, 23 July 2003 17:56 (twenty-two years ago)

N. wants me.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 17:56 (twenty-two years ago)

can a woman receive poor oral sex? as in, are there moments where your just lying back, rolling your eyes thinking "what the fuck is going on down there"

if you have to ask...

― Mary (Mary), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 17:56 (twenty-two years ago)

N. wants me

No, I was just thinking it would be an appalling sequel to 'Chasing Amy'.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 17:57 (twenty-two years ago)

in vegas they sell "pipe burgers". they are 1/2 lb. beef shaped into giant hotdogs. at 4am after much drinking i almost slobbered one.

― kephm, Wednesday, 23 July 2003 17:57 (twenty-two years ago)

"pipe burgers". heh.

― Chris Radford (Chris Radford), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 18:01 (twenty-two years ago)

This is a doll to purchase for N.?

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 18:06 (twenty-two years ago)

For a second I thought you meant one of those 'special' dolls.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 18:06 (twenty-two years ago)

He probably already has one, Ally.

― Larcole (Nicole), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 18:08 (twenty-two years ago)

*notes to self : never ask "do you like this?" and always wipe*

― Chris Radford (Chris Radford), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 18:09 (twenty-two years ago)

six cream crackers Vs. a square of 90% cocoa chocolate?

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 18:11 (twenty-two years ago)

For N's doll collection

http://www.bobagirl.com/anime/misc/cuties-fran-kogal-face.jpg

― Mary (Mary), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 18:29 (twenty-two years ago)

it's the Mary doll!

― M Matos (M Matos), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 18:30 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.dollsjapan.com/s15.jpg

?? Collect all of NYC ILX!

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 18:30 (twenty-two years ago)

And here's Felicity

http://www.bobagirl.com/anime/misc/cuties-chiaki-kogal-face.jpg

― Mary (Mary), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 18:31 (twenty-two years ago)

HAHA!

http://www.collectorsconnection.org/imagesb/28a185.jpg

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 18:31 (twenty-two years ago)

the stomach's about the right size, as is the skin tone

― M Matos (M Matos), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 18:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Ooh! I'm kind of creepy, yet intriguing...

http://www.nikkidolls.homestead.com/files/sarah1.jpg

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 18:35 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.forgottentoys.co.uk/royalnavy.jpg

James Blount doll

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 18:35 (twenty-two years ago)

I want a James Blount doll! Esp. if it were one of those talking dolls, it could make snarky but loveable comments about music.

― Larcole (Nicole), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 18:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Hang on hang on!

http://indianservice.com/barbie/bout_pic-1.jpg

These Barbies have good clothes!

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 18:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Ha ha! Even as a doll I can afford a Burberry knockoff doll scarf!

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 18:44 (twenty-two years ago)

sarah: KIND OF?? the pic alone is gonna give us consumption.

― g--ff c-nn-n (gcannon), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 18:51 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.highseaspoker.net/news/Mermaid1.gif

― Mary (Mary), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 19:02 (twenty-two years ago)

'Good in bed' sounds like you are trying to sell something. 'Bad in bed' sounds like you are making an excuse. In either case I think it should be relatively easy to find more respectful ways of playing kiss & tell eg 'we had a great time together' or 'it didn't work out so well' as opposed to describing another person based on yr (probably v. limited) experience of their kinks and turn-ons and range of skills. So I agree with N.'s initial comment. The phrase itself is pretty dumb if not also a little demeaning.

― Millar (Millar), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 19:05 (twenty-two years ago)

If we had a better Search feature I would link to Sarah "The Coke Girl" McLUsky's post about "Here they have lots of shoes and they are very affordable!"

[insert picture of hundreds of Barbie shoes]

That was one of my favorite things ever.

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 19:06 (twenty-two years ago)

it's not that bad, must be you...

― gygax! (gygax!), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 19:21 (twenty-two years ago)

If you walk around publically telling everyone who is good and bad in bed you're a bit of a dick anyway.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 19:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Unless you do it loudly, out on the streets and in the square, prefacing it with "Hear ye, hear ye," in which case you're the Town Crier of Funkytown.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 19:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Best job ever!

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 19:29 (twenty-two years ago)

"Town Crier of Funkytown"!?!?!? wow

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 19:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Is there like a scroll involved? That'd be awesome.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 19:33 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm a cry onna Poostah.

― Millar (Millar), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 19:36 (twenty-two years ago)

You can't be a Town Crier without a scroll, geez. Of course there's a scroll.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 19:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Backing up to the thread title, the phrase "Good in bed" doesn't bother me at all. It gets right down to it. If the point is sex, then it doesn't matter what someone looks like, it's if they know how to create the mood and have the sensitivity and skills to give someone pleasure while getting it themselves. That's "good in bed" to me; doesn't bug me a bit.

― Orbit (Orbit), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 19:37 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm sorry about my lack of knowledge about Town Criers, being as we haven't had those for about 5,000 years now!!!!!!!!!

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 19:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Even creepier...

http://personalpages.tds.net/~dpfield/diundies.jpg

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 19:42 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm pretty sure the town I grew up in (come to think of it, the paper is called the Town Crier) has an official Town Crier. He came out in like 18th century garb during the Bicentennial dealie.

(this is the thread where we start the rumor that Tep is Amish and/or 800 years old.)

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 19:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Too busy staring at naked Diana to start that rumour for you, sorry.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 19:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, I get that a lot.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 19:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Her underwear go up SO high! Is that what royalty wear?

― Sarah Mclusky (coco), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 19:46 (twenty-two years ago)

reverse empire waist

― gygax! (gygax!), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 19:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes, I want to have sex with all these dolls.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 22:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Thank you gygax!!

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 22:35 (twenty-two years ago)

talking about sex --> pictures of dolls = most amazing threadrot ever.

― praying mantis (praying mantis), Thursday, 24 July 2003 14:16 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm quite pleased as well;)

― Mary (Mary), Thursday, 24 July 2003 14:22 (twenty-two years ago)

My doll's the coolest cuz it has the black plague.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 24 July 2003 14:33 (twenty-two years ago)

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