Future Tory leader David Cameron smoked grass..oh, no he didn't, well he isn't saying...

Yeah, it's a well-known fact that posh women are filthy.

And clearly my efficiency when completing tasks which require scissors has been very impressive.

-Chopped through the Berlin Wall.
-Gave "the snip" to world hunger.
-Cut a heart in the minds of pro-Apartheid South Africa
-Opened numerous garden centres and community halls.

Anyway, this isn't about fancying Marina Hyde. It's about her making a good scissor joke.

It's a dirty job, etc

'Following a missive from one Richard T Kelly, I am compelled to correct last week's suggestion that Sean Penn's New Orleans rescue effort was hampered by a "personal photographer". Contrary to wire reports, Sean's boat sank under the weight of, among others, a historian, and some kind of Boswell working for Rolling Stone magazine. But no photographer.

Hurtfully, particularly from someone who styles themselves as "Mr Penn's biographer", Richard adds that celebrity is "hardly a topic that taxes a columnist's expertise". Couldn't agree more on the expertise front. You'll note they don't waste Simon Jenkins on the contents of Beyoncé's bins. But not taxing? Richard, this week I read OK!, Hello!, Reveal, Closer, Now, Sneak, Grazia, Heat, six days of the Daily Star ... it goes on. I have seen more pictures of reality TV contestants getting the weekly shop in - dammit, more circled celebrity sweat patches - than you probably behold in a decade. To quote Tom Cruise's speech to his ungrateful client in Jerry Maguire: "I am out here for you. You don't know what it's like to be ME out here for YOU. It is an up-at-dawn, pride-swallowing siege that I will NEVER fully tell you about. OK?"'

richard 't' kelly can be a bit of a fanny.

have just read this thread and would like to inquire (on the marina hyde tip) whether anyone guiltily fancies kirsty wark?

don't you think the tory membership will be more right-wing (ie pro-davis) than the mps, though?

i think a section of it will, but i think that, in a final survival bid, the membership will have to take notice that nationwide opinion polls had clarke ahead by a mile. hence, cameron reps the only sensible option. granted, they haven't been sensible for a good while but I think it's never been more transparent that a vote the wrong way (ie Davis) would be the death of them. Also, Davis, by all accounts - even his own support, was absolutely useless in blackpool at the conf and I think the membership will have taken note of that. even if they view cameron as fairly substanceless - which he obv is - there's nothing besmirching on his record, him having played the drugs charges very, very sensibly.

why don't you like kirsty wark?

where on earth is the love for kirsty wark?

I like Piers Morgan. Not in a jonesing sense, but I do like him. He's amusing and has a soft-looking face.

http://www.toysbuymail.com/images/mrm16.jpg

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/6905886.stm

The Tories are being very quiet on this, presumably well aware that trying to score political points will just make Davey C look shiftier than ever.

fucking hypocrite cunts.

Welcome to the US 80s-90s

It was one looong interview on the GMTV this morning. The 'contentious' bit was 30 seconds long.

Within seconds of it finishing, they had the whole *exclusive* news snippet put together, and for the rest of the show, talked about her 'changing lifestyle'.

ye gods.

doing the confessional interview is the right way to do it and the only reason the cameroons haven't is because their drugs of choice were likely harder and continued after their poxbridge years.

i think reporters should grill all poiticians about whether they've had unprotected sex - it's far more irresponsible and dangerous, and just as personal a decision - but mainly it would allow for similar "revelatory" stories like this one where they say they did - but they certainly didn't enjoy it

.. and they would recommend the young people of today, in their 'crews', not to do it.

has any politician admitted to harder drugs? i don't think so though i am having difficulty separating rumours from actual admissions here.

boris johnson has admitted cocaine, i think.

and they don't call him gordon 'brown' for nothing.

cue the stranglers..

or on second thought, don't!

yes indeed for boris and the white girl http://www.oxfordmail.net/search/display.var.1446705.0.boris_i_took_cocaine_and_cannabis.php

funny, i don't actually remember any controversy about that

I think cos BJ on coke actually makes sense, while DC with a bifter is a less obvious image.

i think reporters should grill all poiticians about whether they've had unprotected sex

also drink-driving

and school hazing

"yes. yes, i did give jenkins a swirly - but i didn't enjoy it"

"have you ever avoided taxes as a result of hiring an accountant?"

"have you ever employed domestic help? what were their names?"

"have you ever seen a grown man naked?"

"have you ever seen, a billboard as lovely as a tree?"

"Wacky baccy Jacqui" is London Lite's Sun-tastic headline.

excellent

i thought everyone who would actually use that term would be dead by now

I saw Boris on Holloway Road this morning, I can't say for sure whether he had just stumbled out of a crack house or not - it was early, about 8.15

he lives round there. finsbury park/highbury sort of area.

i thought everyone who would actually use that term would be dead by now

Is there some kind of fatal disease that only affects subeditors?

have such revelations ever not been accompanied by "OH AND I REGRET IT SO IT WAS WRONG WRONG WRONG", and/or "but I didn't enjoy it"? Any attempt to be down with the kids without infuriating Daily Mailites is destined to fail of both fronts.

they should say "it was ok but i wanted to be a politician so i gave it up".

Is there some kind of fatal disease that only affects subeditors?

hell i hope not.

what would be the repercussions if an MP/minister said "i smoked weed as a student and enjoyed it but grew out of it like most people do"?

have a think

Depends on whether Rupert Murdoch agrees with his politics or not

i mean, if cameron said it, and then brown said the same, and then campbell...ok, well the third one's pretty unlikely. but the daily mail-ites can't run forever!

It's official. Britain's favorite tousle-haired cad, the Tory MP and television personality Boris Johnson, has tossed his bowler into the ring. The former Spectator editor officially announced yesterday his intention to run against Labour mayor Ken Livingstone.

Livingstone, who recently called Castro's dictatorship "one of the high points of the 20th century'' and is planning a $4 million tribute to "50 years of justice in Cuba" in London's Trafalgar Square, openly challenged Johnson to run, though, as the Telegraph explains, if there is anyone whose celebrity can eclipse that of "Red Ken," it's the MP from Henley:

Mr. Johnson, a columnist on The Daily Telegraph, is the party's best known MP. His appeal extends across party lines and he has become a regular on television panel games, such as Have I Got News For You.

Predictably, the (London) Times and Telegraph are rather excited by the prospect of Mayor Johnson. Even more predictably, The Guardian's class-obsessed killjoy Polly Toynbee—the real-life version of "modern parent" Cressida Wright-Pratt—thinks the old Etonian is a "sociopath." From Toynbee's account, it sounds like Boris is something of a Tory libertarian:

He hints at utter contempt for the NHS, with USSR comparisons. Though liberal on matters of sex (what else could he be?) and drugs ("I'm instinctively inclined to liberalise"), his politics are right off the Cameron scale. Here he is on education: "I am in favour of selection ... So is every member of the British ruling classes"; and on universities: "I believe passionately in academic inequality."

In other nutty British political news, George Galloway, the execrable MP who celebrated Saddam Hussein's "indefatigability" and claimed that the end of the Soviet Union was "the biggest catastrophe of my life," has been suspended from parliament for "concealing his financial dealings with Saddam Hussein's government."

and is planning a $4 million tribute

that's like £26, big deal

haha

wow though, ken really does hate gays.

(it is hard covering for dom, but i think that's what he'd say?)

Not as much as you hate Ken (xp)

"I believe passionately in academic inequality."

i think i actually read this column of bj's. like most of them this was the bold claim (recently he did: 'let's reoccupy france') to hook you in. he then argued that *everybody* believed in academic inequality, and i'm afraid he was kind of right. obviously the conclusions this led him to, viz privatizing the universities, were wrong though.

xpost

yuppers

stupid fucking socialists.

ken is the mayor of the most plutocratic, rich-bastard-friendly city in the world. it's like havana in the 50s.

ok wtf

i actually don't believe ruth kelly

Haha I read that earlier and was like "yeah even Cameron's done that now who cares?" until I got to the words 'Ruth Kelly' and was like woah.

"cannabis"

Health Secretary Alan Johnson said he "did the sex and rock and roll but not the drugs"

DO NOT WANT TO KNOW

I was just listening to the news on the radio and they came up with the immortal line: "A spokesman for Gordon Brown said he was taking a relaxed view of the issue."