**OFFICIALLY** the best Knock-Knock Joke EVER

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A: Knock, Knock
B: Who's there?
A: Christian Slater
B: Christian Slater, who?

A: Christian Slater, MUSLIMS NOW!!!

[Hilarity ensues]

― MESTEMA (davidcorp), Thursday, 13 October 2005 15:07 (twenty years ago)

that's a pretty good joke

― lolol, Thursday, 13 October 2005 15:11 (twenty years ago)

That isn't in the same league as

A: Knock Knock
B: Who's there?
A: I Dunnop
B: I Dunnop Who?
A: HAHAHAHA YOU DONE A POO!!!!

― Don King of the Mountain (noodle vague), Thursday, 13 October 2005 15:11 (twenty years ago)

That was my childhood favourite joke.

― chap who would dare to kill all the threads (chap), Thursday, 13 October 2005 15:12 (twenty years ago)

Some days it's my favourite adulthood joke.

― Don King of the Mountain (noodle vague), Thursday, 13 October 2005 15:13 (twenty years ago)

Everyday it's Garu G's only joke.

― giboyeux (skowly), Thursday, 13 October 2005 15:17 (twenty years ago)

And yet I still kinda miss the bad Garu impersonators compared to the overworked schtick of Oestrogen Butties.

― Don King of the Mountain (noodle vague), Thursday, 13 October 2005 15:19 (twenty years ago)

the best knock knock joke starts with "Say knock knock..."

― Britain's Obtusest Shepherd (Alan), Thursday, 13 October 2005 15:20 (twenty years ago)

I dig that one too.

People stay freeze framed inside the joke. You can actually *see* them reeling inside.

I just did it to this guy in my office. He's called Prince Wani. He kinda started shaking .

― davidcorp ltd (davidcorp), Thursday, 13 October 2005 15:42 (twenty years ago)

Q. Knock knock.
A. Who's there?
Q. The interrupting cow.
A. The inte--
Q. *MOOOOOOOOOOO*.

― Douglas (Douglas), Thursday, 13 October 2005 16:05 (twenty years ago)

similarly...

Q. Knock knock.
A. Who's there?
Q. Amy Fisher.
A. Amy Fish-
Q. BANG!

― petesmith (plsmith), Thursday, 13 October 2005 16:07 (twenty years ago)

http://www.dataste.com/blog/wordpress/wp-images/smilies/jesuslol.jpg

― feminazi (feminazi), Thursday, 13 October 2005 16:07 (twenty years ago)

Okay, tell me the "say knock knock" joke.

― Sengai, Friday, 14 October 2005 07:37 (twenty years ago)

OK. Say "Knock Knock"

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 14 October 2005 07:40 (twenty years ago)

knock knock?

― g-kit (g-kit), Friday, 14 October 2005 07:43 (twenty years ago)

Who's there?

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 14 October 2005 07:46 (twenty years ago)

doctor

― Ste (Fuzzy), Friday, 14 October 2005 07:49 (twenty years ago)

My favourite (which I first heard and, mysteriously, understood when I was about 4):

A: Knock, Knock
B: Who's there?
A: Euripides
B: Euripides trousers, you pay for dem

― Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 14 October 2005 07:50 (twenty years ago)

now i'm just confused. i dunno who's there, you asked me to say knock knock.

― g-kit (g-kit), Friday, 14 October 2005 07:51 (twenty years ago)

"you menna dese trousers"

― Ste (Fuzzy), Friday, 14 October 2005 07:54 (twenty years ago)

They are all interrupting cows.

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 14 October 2005 07:55 (twenty years ago)

Start again.

Say "Knock Knock"

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 14 October 2005 07:56 (twenty years ago)

you could do one that's "interrupting killer" and when they say "who's..." you stab them.

that's one for halloween.

xpost
oh, who's there? (don't stab me!)

― g-kit (g-kit), Friday, 14 October 2005 07:57 (twenty years ago)

no, wait!
fuck.

knock knock.

― g-kit (g-kit), Friday, 14 October 2005 07:57 (twenty years ago)

Who's there?

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 14 October 2005 07:59 (twenty years ago)

er... it's The Kit.

― g-kit (g-kit), Friday, 14 October 2005 07:59 (twenty years ago)

Er.. It's the Kit Who?

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 14 October 2005 08:00 (twenty years ago)

The Kit Kitten?

― g-kit (g-kit), Friday, 14 October 2005 08:01 (twenty years ago)

i don't get it.

― g-kit (g-kit), Friday, 14 October 2005 08:02 (twenty years ago)

DOCTOR!!

― Ste (Fuzzy), Friday, 14 October 2005 08:04 (twenty years ago)

Aye, get a doctor to sedate mark grout.

― g-kit (g-kit), Friday, 14 October 2005 08:05 (twenty years ago)

The situation, as played out in a real live scenario, consists on inverting the supply mechanism of the joke, to whit, the joke started by respondent A is unknowingly transferred to respondent B. To work satisfactorily, the respondent B needs to have no time in which to invent or recall a satisfactory feedline, as at that point, he realises that he is in control of a situation in which he is supposed to be an indirect participant.

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 14 October 2005 08:06 (twenty years ago)

A: Knock, Knock
B: Who's there?
A: Mark Grout
B: Mark Grout, who?
A: Mark, Grout there and do something useful instead of spending all day on ILX

― Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 14 October 2005 08:07 (twenty years ago)

haha pwned

― g-kit (g-kit), Friday, 14 October 2005 08:08 (twenty years ago)

"Knock...etc... Dadaismusbecallingthekettleblack!"

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 14 October 2005 08:10 (twenty years ago)

haha pwned

― g-kit (g-kit), Friday, 14 October 2005 08:13 (twenty years ago)

* *

:...?

― The Vintner's Lipogram (OleM), Friday, 14 October 2005 08:25 (twenty years ago)

that's great!

― g-kit (g-kit), Friday, 14 October 2005 08:26 (twenty years ago)

yes.

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 14 October 2005 08:30 (twenty years ago)

DR WHO?

― put you out, Friday, 14 October 2005 10:25 (twenty years ago)

knock knock
who let the dogs out who who
who let the dogs out who who who?
lol

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 14 October 2005 10:36 (twenty years ago)

Knock knock?
Who's there?
Big Ish
Big Ish who?
Haha you're a homeless.

Not actually funny unless you say it to an actual Big Issue vendor.

― Suckling robot at a warrior rave (alix), Friday, 14 October 2005 10:47 (twenty years ago)

2 days ago, reading town centre outside WH Smiths:

"Come on gents, buy my last copy then I can go home!"

umm, hello?

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 14 October 2005 10:57 (twenty years ago)

it was the final pound he needed to purchase a new house, mark grout. i hope you helped him!!

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 14 October 2005 11:02 (twenty years ago)

A house is not a home, when there's no-one there. And it's not a chair.

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 14 October 2005 11:05 (twenty years ago)

yeah but what sound would a chair make in a home with nobody there? huh? answer that

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 14 October 2005 11:30 (twenty years ago)

a sigh

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Friday, 14 October 2005 11:34 (twenty years ago)

Me and a friend recently tried to figure out the international variations on KNOCK KNOCK.

Apparently the Germans (those crazy katz!) say: TOK, TOK

(And they have ways of making you TOK)

― MESTEMA (davidcorp), Friday, 14 October 2005 12:49 (twenty years ago)

frappez frappez
qui et la?
doctor
doctor qui?
HA HA HA HA HA

― Britain's Obtusest Shepherd (Alan), Friday, 14 October 2005 12:53 (twenty years ago)

That's the whole point of the Big Issue - it gets people into housing and gives them a way to remain housed.

xxxpost

― Suckling robot at a warrior rave (alix), Friday, 14 October 2005 12:58 (twenty years ago)

Apparently the Germans (those crazy katz!) say: TOK, TOK

really??

― one eye white, one eye black (FE7), Friday, 14 October 2005 13:08 (twenty years ago)

Er why is that strange?

Norwegian: BANK BANK

― The Vintner's Lipogram (OleM), Friday, 14 October 2005 13:17 (twenty years ago)

bussa bussa!
chi c'e'?
la mucca che interrompe
la muc-
MOOOOOOO!

― Teh HoBB (the pirate king), Friday, 14 October 2005 13:34 (twenty years ago)

Aw thx mark & greg for liking my joke!

Another one (not mine, written by um was it Spike Milligan?):

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Alençon.
Alençon who?
(massive choir:) Allons enfants de la Patrie, le jour de gloire est arrivé !

― The Vintner's Lipogram (OleM), Friday, 14 October 2005 23:33 (twenty years ago)

i'm sorry, but this is the best knock-knock joke ever.
http://www.sickanimation.com/knock.html

― Christopher Costello (CGC), Saturday, 15 October 2005 00:28 (twenty years ago)

that wasn't really a knock knock joke though was it?

― dog latin (dog latin), Saturday, 15 October 2005 01:02 (twenty years ago)

Knock knock
Who's there?
Argo
Argo who?
Argo fuck yerself

― steve ketchup, Saturday, 15 October 2005 16:12 (twenty years ago)

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Knock.

Knock who?

Knock knock.

― Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Saturday, 15 October 2005 16:17 (twenty years ago)

(That's the most memorable Momus moment of all time, btw)

― Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Saturday, 15 October 2005 16:18 (twenty years ago)

Who's David E Kelly?

― the pr00de abides (pr00de), Saturday, 15 October 2005 17:43 (twenty years ago)

this one has nothing to do with knock-knock jokes, but it's funny.
http://www.sickanimation.com/dragonclub.html

― Christopher Costello (CGC), Saturday, 15 October 2005 21:02 (twenty years ago)

knock knock
who's there?
interupting starfish.
interupting star ----
*shoves outstretched hand into other person's face*

― j c (j c), Saturday, 15 October 2005 23:58 (twenty years ago)

Knock knock

Who's there?

Knock knock

Who's there?

Knock knock

(continue until they grow irritable)

Philip Glass!

― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Sunday, 16 October 2005 02:49 (twenty years ago)

funniest knock knock joke to me, age 7:

knock knock

who's there?

dwayne.

dwayne who?

dwayne the bathtub, i'm dwownding!

(i think this was mostly hilarious to me for the Elmer Fudd voice you can do in the last line)

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Sunday, 16 October 2005 02:55 (twenty years ago)

Cock Block.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Sunday, 16 October 2005 06:07 (twenty years ago)

Cock Block Who?

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 17 October 2005 07:09 (twenty years ago)

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