Michael Flatley -- destroy or completely annihilate?

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Oh goddammit. According to fellow ILE denizen Tom P, he tells me that Flatley is returning to Southern California with his new show...Feet of Flames. FEET OF FLAMES?!? Weren't the abominations of Riverdance and Lord of the Dance enough? Dare anyone defend the man?

― Ned Raggett, Monday, 16 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Michael Flatley should definitely continue to exist as I have far too much fun laughing at him.

― Dan Perry, Monday, 16 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Michael Flatley is way cool, I wish I could dance like him, he is way popular with the ladies.

― james e l, Monday, 16 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

That man's a twunt. Feet of flames? Yes, if I pour gasoline on them and LIGHT IT. Then yes, feet of fucking flames indeed.

― suzy, Monday, 16 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

KILL HIM! FUCKING KILL HIM! KILL HIM ALREADY, KILL HIM!

― Richard Tunnicliffe, Monday, 16 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Twunt!!!! That is my new swearword for the rest of the month. Twunt, twunt,twunt. That is just sooo cool.

― Billy Dods, Monday, 16 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh dearie me, what a complete arse he is. Lord Of The Prance.

― Michael Bourke, Monday, 16 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Jeez, RickyT did he steal your wife or what?

― masonic boom, Monday, 16 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Hook him up to Al Gore.

― Mike Hanle y, Monday, 16 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

All I'm saying is that he's known as Canaveral round these parts.

― Richard Tunnicliffe, Monday, 16 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Feet of Flames, that's a great name for a show, what are you talking about?

― Ally, Monday, 16 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Please tell me you're kidding, Ally. It sounds like the prequel to Ass of Fire or Hands of Napalm.

― Ned Raggett, Monday, 16 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Hands of Napalm! That's even better.

― Ally, Monday, 16 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

What are those 'Riverdance' shows about anywho? Why are they popular? Why do people pay to watch a line of people dance from the ankles down only. For WHY?

― D*A*V*I*D*M, Monday, 16 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Feed him to the pigs. Alive.

― JM, Monday, 16 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

One might say that he has Flaming Feet?

― JM, Monday, 16 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

someone's been listening to shellac... I agree, terminate, with extreme prejudice

― Geoff, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

My decrepid grandpa turned up one Xmas clutching his 2 Michael Flatley vids. Aaarggghhh we all screamed. I managed to beat a hasty retreat to my bedroom with a chocolate orange but my mum, dad and bro had to watch it. Plus decrepid grandpa is stone deaf so the volume was turned up VERY LOUD. Diddly fucking diddly.

― Emma, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

You know, if you actually set fire to his feet, that'd be pretty damn entertaining.

― Paul Strange, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Flatley: saw an interview. Believe the polite description for his type is "self-possessed".

― AP, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Ohh! Erm, are any other twuntries being bombarded w/ Bond hype? Bond = four "easy on eyes" female violinists (haven't actually heard 'em yet, that's clearly secondary to mktg plan). They obv. exist cuz someone saw Lord of the Dance w/ the duelling blonde violinists and thought, ERP!! (That's all they thought, "ERP!!")

― AP, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Bond hype is over here too. They are v.bad, classical chewns set to unbanging beats in crude way.

― Richard Tunnicliffe, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

James Bond? WHat areyou talking about? DOes James Bond have to dance in the next movie?

― Mike Hanle y, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Apparently Michael Flatley is the next Bond baddie. He tries to make the entire population of China do Irish dancing thus causing a huge earthquake which threatens to swallow up Great Britain.

― Jonnie, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Are there flying cars? Cause I LOVE cars that can fly!

― Mike Hanle y, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Yeah, there was some story on Bond over here too. I glanced suspiciously askance.

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I think Bond is kind of cool, actually. All of the snippets I've heard have been much fun. My wife wants to collaborate with them on something.

― Dan Perry, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I think Colonel Sanderson's favourite, Mike Batt, is involved with Bond somehow ...

(so does this make their no-doubt-atrocious records the classical "All Around My Hat"?)

― Robin Carmody, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

S'pose violin-pop is bona fide genre now: Nigel, Vanessa, Bond. Kennedy took it all too far (pratness), but boy could he play chin-guitar. Ms. Mae is rowr on album covers (all I've, erm, "heard").

― AP, Wednesday, 18 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Don't forget Dave "Devil" Matthews

― Mike Hanle y, Wednesday, 18 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Mwahahaha. Check this out. A few years ago Flathead did a large 'farewell' show in Hyde Park. He was called to the stage while being pleasured by a young lady (whose 'job' it was apart from this to carry his flute and make him look sweaty with baby oil) and got so excited at the reception given by his fans at his big entrance that he spontaneously *ahem* dirtied the inside of his nice new light blue trousers. The resulting stain was visible to all on the large screens, was mentioned in reviews and the number itself consists of wide shots in the 'Feet of Flames' video .... what a nice man.

― suzy, Thursday, 19 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Suzy, when you say it was her job to carry his flute, do you think this refers to his, ahem, trouser flute? The moral of the story being: read your job description VERY carefully.

― Emma, Thursday, 19 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

One or the other, possibly both. From what happened next at least she didn't have to swallow.

― suzy, Thursday, 19 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

two years pass...

PANTS OF SHIT

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Saturday, 5 June 2004 03:26 (twenty-one years ago)

fourteen years pass...

He's back!

This, apparently, is really real. pic.twitter.com/4f0zD6Pvq3
— Barry J Whyte (@whytebarry) July 4, 2018

Really, this is real.

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 4 July 2018 21:22 (seven years ago)

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt8246646/

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 4 July 2018 21:23 (seven years ago)

man eric roberts really will do anything huh

also which one of those three is patrick bergin

― Fox News' Chad Pergram contributed to this report (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 4 July 2018 21:33 (seven years ago)

I can remember when people just paid a vanity publisher to print 500 copies of their book.

― A is for (Aimless), Wednesday, 4 July 2018 22:48 (seven years ago)

Ah, there's ANOTHER poster.

WHAT pic.twitter.com/QHEjFpVnB5
— Gray (@gray) July 5, 2018

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 5 July 2018 18:32 (seven years ago)

A more truthful poster. Certainly emphasizes that this is a Flatley vehicle, as all the action is confined to his silhouette, and that its about desperate greying B-listers, and the ingénues they can afford.

― Roomba with an attitude (Sanpaku), Thursday, 5 July 2018 18:50 (seven years ago)

I have been alerted to this thread.

it's monday afternoon...and ive got a hot date with a real special guy pic.twitter.com/sObrFQQqZJ
— Jonathan (@demarionunn) September 25, 2017

― Ned Raggett, Saturday, 7 July 2018 03:53 (six years ago)

omg that is incredible

― Fox News' Chad Pergram contributed to this report (bizarro gazzara), Saturday, 7 July 2018 08:08 (six years ago)

four years pass...

Michael Flatley's debut feature BLACKBIRD is heading for Irish cinemas on 2nd September.

✨ Starring Michael Flatley, Eric Roberts and Patrick Bergin
🎬 Written and directed by Michael Flatley

Check out the trailer 👇#Blackbird #MichaelFlatley pic.twitter.com/CJIBxrJXZr
— Wildcard Distribution (@WildCardDistrib) July 14, 2022

lol four years later and it's got an Irish release date

― calzino, Thursday, 14 July 2022 17:08 (two years ago)

one month passes...

I would like to share some of my favourite lines from #BLACKBIRD with you (***Warning: Spoilers ahead***)
— Aoife Moriarty (@AoifeMo) August 31, 2022

― mookieproof, Thursday, 1 September 2022 00:34 (two years ago)

Starting in the early 2010s, Flatley has used his choreographer dance moves to create artwork with his feet, by dancing upon paint splattered canvas. A series of paintings he created in the mid-2010s was based upon the Great Irish Famine.

― Kim Kimberly, Thursday, 1 September 2022 00:52 (two years ago)

I'm sure he'll cry (or dance) all the way to the bank.

Maybe he and Dan Brown can meet at the pub to commiserate.

― immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Thursday, 1 September 2022 01:08 (two years ago)

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