I am v. upset at esquire

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its the most beauitful woman in the world issue. They had Gong Li in v. little clothes, but she looks better with more clothes! and they chose Jessica Biel as the most attratcive woman in america, which is confusing. and in their survey of the prettiest girls around the world, they forgot the countries of india and nigeria--which is insane

― anthony, Tuesday, 25 October 2005 05:06 (twenty years ago)

write a letter

― sub-dwayne nelson (dr g), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 05:12 (twenty years ago)

how much do you honestly care about this? on a scale of one to ten?

― vacuum cleaner (electricsound), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 05:14 (twenty years ago)

ten

― anthony, Tuesday, 25 October 2005 06:01 (twenty years ago)

they forgot the countries of india and nigeria

http://www.voiceofafricaradio.com/images/pg-miss-nigeria-uk-2004-winner.jpg

...?

― unconscious, honey (FE7), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 06:03 (twenty years ago)

what about diego garcia? who's the hottest chick there and have hern ipples melted off?

― queen Goin down around auroeleos, Tuesday, 25 October 2005 06:48 (twenty years ago)

http://419.bittenus.com/JennyD569/as3.jpg

― jergins (jergins), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 07:51 (twenty years ago)

and they chose Jessica Biel as the most attratcive woman in america, which is confusing.

why 'confusing', is she actually a man?

― J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 09:59 (twenty years ago)

well, she isn't the most attractive woman in america.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 10:04 (twenty years ago)

Because she's not attratcive?

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 10:04 (twenty years ago)

nope. she isn't. that one's even got me riled.

― geoff (gcannon), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 11:51 (twenty years ago)

No indian women? Indian women are teh uberhotness! That's rubbish.

― Come Back Johnny B (Johnney B), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 12:08 (twenty years ago)

because they're all so beautiful it's hard to pick one out of the lot

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 12:11 (twenty years ago)

maybe.. whereas they reckon all americans ming apart from Jessica Biel

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 12:12 (twenty years ago)

does anthony mean they had women from EVERY COUNTRY IN THE WORLD except india and nigeria? cos that would be fucked-up.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 12:12 (twenty years ago)

Who was the most attractive woman from Burkina Faso?

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 12:47 (twenty years ago)

she was pretty cute in 'stealth'

― _, Tuesday, 25 October 2005 12:50 (twenty years ago)

is that the one in which she's invisible?

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 12:52 (twenty years ago)

Jessica Biehl is pretty smokin' hot! Girls don't have to be uber-indie or indie-approved to be attractive!

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 12:55 (twenty years ago)

Jessica Biel is not even really the most attractive woman in Los Angeles, much less like the country in general. Anthony's right, this is a miscarriage of justice, as much as Matthew Maconuouaoihghy as Cosmo's sexiest man of the year.

xpost Dan you best not be implying I like my girls Indie-Approved.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 12:59 (twenty years ago)

http://www2.arnes.si/~jsubic5/Wallpapers/Ladies/Jessica%20Biel%2001.jpg

I will admit that this isn't the best picture of her face but seriously, who is looking at this picture and noticing her face?

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 13:03 (twenty years ago)

her mouth looks like a Sleestack's mouth

― kyle (akmonday), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 13:05 (twenty years ago)

or Greedo. Maybe I'm confusing them.

― kyle (akmonday), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 13:06 (twenty years ago)

That pic is more funny than sexy. She's going for a sex-kitten pout but she looks like a baby who's just tasted it's first lemon.

― Come Back Johnny B (Johnney B), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 13:33 (twenty years ago)

On the other hand, boobs.

― n/a (Nick A.), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 13:37 (twenty years ago)

i guess the point is fake tits, flat belly and a mouth that looks like it could suck a dick, right?

― sexyDancer (sexyDancer), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 13:39 (twenty years ago)

Those boobs aren't really that impressive, is the thing.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 13:53 (twenty years ago)

I'd hit it.

― Jimmy Mod wants you to tighten the strings on your corset (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 14:01 (twenty years ago)

I mean, yes, there are a bunch of women who are more attractive than Jessica Bie(h?)l but that doesn't mean she isn't pretty damn attractive!

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 14:02 (twenty years ago)

It's like her mouth looks like a ripe vagina...

― sexyDancer (sexyDancer), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 14:06 (twenty years ago)

"ripe"

― The Ghost of Context Can Make Anything Sinister (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 14:06 (twenty years ago)

If she was riding on BART with me, I would stare at her for the whole trip until she changed cars.

Ken C old chap, you're confusing Biel with Alba WRT your "invisible" remark.

― Super-8 Movie Shoot in the Chinese Quarter (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 14:07 (twenty years ago)

http://www.gawker.com/news/lyonnedoll.jpg

― So so Krispie (Ex Leon), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 14:20 (twenty years ago)

Jessica Biehl doesn't look like Greedo, you fucks.

Even if she did, I'd still shoot first.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 16:06 (twenty years ago)

Ally OTM.

― Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 16:08 (twenty years ago)

Jimmy the Mod would hit anything, I'd like to point out.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 16:08 (twenty years ago)

Does the magazine have a profile on any frat dudes from The Price is Right?

― sub-dwayne nelson (dr g), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 16:09 (twenty years ago)

You seem aggravated today, Ally. Are you tired?

― Jimmy Mod wants you to tighten the strings on your corset (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 16:10 (twenty years ago)

No, I'm not at all aggravated actually, I was just pointing out that you say "I'd hit it" on like every thread about sort-of-attractive up to highly attractive 18-35 year old celebrity females! Your high standards of real life do not seem to be reflected in your celebrity interestsests.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 16:11 (twenty years ago)

Well it seems like the thing to say!

― Jimmy Mod wants you to tighten the strings on your corset (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 16:21 (twenty years ago)

Moreso about some, than about others though.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 16:22 (twenty years ago)

I'd only hit it to be seen you see. It's not like I'd enjoy it or anything.

― Jimmy Mod wants you to tighten the strings on your corset (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 16:24 (twenty years ago)

never active

― sexyDancer (sexyDancer), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 16:25 (twenty years ago)

That is too fashion for me, Jimmy.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 16:28 (twenty years ago)

Y'all are a buncha cavemen.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 16:31 (twenty years ago)

Where is she?

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 16:32 (twenty years ago)

Esquire only did the most beautiful women from nations where they have an Esquire brand. (Esquire UK, Esquire China, etc.)

Biel is attractive, but the photoshoot they did of her for the special issue was pretty bad. As with all other starlet profiles, she was friendly, down-to-earth, never catty or bitchy and perhaps the most wonderful woman on the face of the earth. I'm still waiting for one profile to start off with "[x] is a bitch..."

― Are You Nomar? (miloaukerman), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 16:48 (twenty years ago)

Musician profiles do that all the time. I don't think there's much doubt that Lucinda Williams and Aimee Mann are total bitches. You'd think the reporter would love to present the unavailable hotties as bitches.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 16:55 (twenty years ago)

I don't think I've ever read an interview with Tara Reid that remarked on how nice and down-to-earth she is. People seem to get more joy out of talking about her binge-drinking and awful awful plastic surgery.

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 16:57 (twenty years ago)

I bet there were some complimentary interviews back before she became Hollywood's biggest ho-bag.

― Are You Nomar? (miloaukerman), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 17:03 (twenty years ago)

Even when "American Pie" hit, I remember the media painting her as the wild party girl who was all in love with herself.

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 17:04 (twenty years ago)

jessica biel's main charm is her hiney, which probably only looks impressive when compared to coked-up waif brigade.

― strongo hulkington's ghost (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 17:06 (twenty years ago)

(is there a thread about "Taradise" aka the greatest reality show ever?)

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 17:08 (twenty years ago)

some dude I work with flew out to eastern europe to participate in that cultural touchstone of a tv show.

― Stuh-du-du-du-du-du-du-denka (jingleberries), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 18:10 (twenty years ago)

and it avoided brazil too

― anthony, Tuesday, 25 October 2005 20:03 (twenty years ago)

Giselle >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Jessica Biel.

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 20:08 (twenty years ago)

Wasn't it you, Dan, who had some comment about Biiel being the 'cross between Sorority girl and porn star' that 'America needs in these troubled times?'

― Jimmy Mod wants you to tighten the strings on your corset (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Wednesday, 26 October 2005 04:30 (twenty years ago)

four months pass...

http://www.iap-tv.com/board/images/smiles/055.gif @ rosario dawson cover

― ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, Thursday, 16 March 2006 19:31 (nineteen years ago)

based on an old esq. cover with same premise featuring.... Candice Bergen! She was hot back in the day. Make y'wanna put your hand up her ass and get all Charlie McCarthy wit' it.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Thursday, 16 March 2006 22:21 (nineteen years ago)

haha ethan i thought about starting a thread about that rosario cover.

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 16 March 2006 22:27 (nineteen years ago)

Wasn't it you, Dan, who had some comment about Biiel being the 'cross between Sorority girl and porn star'

That was Blount about the Rules of Attraction and I am horrified that I know this.

― Erick Dampier is better than Shaq (miloaukerman), Thursday, 16 March 2006 22:28 (nineteen years ago)

my biel bon mots are priceless

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 16 March 2006 22:29 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.esquire.com/img/cover/2006/2006_4.jpg

― StanM (StanM), Thursday, 16 March 2006 22:30 (nineteen years ago)

Esquire is almost the perfect magazine now, if they'd upgrade their music coverage with someone interesting and readable (vs. John Mayer).

― Erick Dampier is better than Shaq (miloaukerman), Thursday, 16 March 2006 22:32 (nineteen years ago)

fucking adorable.

― Should've Never Give Jimmy Mod Money (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Thursday, 16 March 2006 22:39 (nineteen years ago)

Erick, Mayer's not the real problem there.

― Rickey Wright (Rrrickey), Friday, 17 March 2006 00:56 (nineteen years ago)

"the perfect $1000 warddrobe for $993" would be funnier if the mag cost $7

― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 17 March 2006 01:08 (nineteen years ago)

whats wrong with me? she does not look hot there.

― chaki (chaki), Friday, 17 March 2006 01:13 (nineteen years ago)

She's pretty basic looking in person, which only adds to cover hotness really.
Though I'm not quite overwhelmed either.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Friday, 17 March 2006 01:17 (nineteen years ago)

actually I gotta say that's probably the best photo of her I've seen in a while.

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Friday, 17 March 2006 01:24 (nineteen years ago)

Thandie Newton, however...

xpost

― Andy_K (Andy_K), Friday, 17 March 2006 01:24 (nineteen years ago)

I still dream of a Charlie's Angels sequel with Dawson, Shannon Sossamon and Rachael Leigh Cook as the leads.

― Erick Dampier is better than Shaq (miloaukerman), Friday, 17 March 2006 01:27 (nineteen years ago)

wow do I ever hate Esquire

― Thomas Tallis (Tommy), Friday, 17 March 2006 02:34 (nineteen years ago)

king>fuego>esquire>gq>playboy>maxim>fhm>stuff>vice

― j blount (papa la bas), Friday, 17 March 2006 03:03 (nineteen years ago)

GQ is too ugly to read, Maxim's never as good as Blender, the rest are meh. Cargo belongs on their somewhere, it's like the videogame nerd version of a lad mag.

― Erick Dampier is better than Shaq (miloaukerman), Friday, 17 March 2006 03:15 (nineteen years ago)

She's pretty basic looking in person, which only adds to cover hotness really.

U = crack head

― Should've Never Give Jimmy Mod Money (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Friday, 17 March 2006 03:15 (nineteen years ago)

DON DIVA>king>fuego>esquire>gq>playboy>maxim>fhm>stuff>vice

― Should've Never Give Jimmy Mod Money (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Friday, 17 March 2006 03:16 (nineteen years ago)

got damn

― geoff (gcannon), Friday, 17 March 2006 04:36 (nineteen years ago)

i wanna make her breakfast

― gbx (skowly), Friday, 17 March 2006 04:41 (nineteen years ago)

I was with you lot until I saw her face in that shot. Meh.

― ALLAH FROG (Mingus Dew), Friday, 17 March 2006 04:52 (nineteen years ago)

face?

― gbx (skowly), Friday, 17 March 2006 04:53 (nineteen years ago)

i'll be here all night

― gbx (skowly), Friday, 17 March 2006 04:54 (nineteen years ago)

U = crack head

shrug. She was around the public theater a lot last summer and i saw her in the halls quite a bit. Cute, but there are more than a few women who work there who are cuter and aren't on the cover of esquire.

Maybe not my type.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Friday, 17 March 2006 05:00 (nineteen years ago)

whats wrong with me?

it's the food-photography approach to presenting her there - way, way creepy

― Thomas Tallis (Tommy), Friday, 17 March 2006 15:54 (nineteen years ago)

she has nice skin

― amateurist0, Friday, 17 March 2006 16:01 (nineteen years ago)

The main thing about that cover isn't whether she's purdy or not at all (it helps, though), it's the mischievous "I know we just made love in a church and that's wrong, but I wanna do it again right now, come on, big boy(/girl)." look on her face and the "ooooh, look at how this body was built for Sin!" body language that causes the naughty and other bits to throb.

(don't know where all the Catholic guilt stuff suddenly came from, maybe it's because her name is a bit like Rosary)

― StanM (StanM), Friday, 17 March 2006 17:23 (nineteen years ago)

(and no, I haven't researched whether lesbians say Big Girl to each other, so apologies if that's not right)

― StanM (StanM), Friday, 17 March 2006 17:27 (nineteen years ago)

It's a boy's name, that's fucked up.

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 17 March 2006 17:33 (nineteen years ago)

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