Jon, here's another thread for you to ruin.

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I don't get the point of it, but whatever.

kelsey (kelstarry), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:05 (nineteen years ago)

Stick some lines in it. It's funny. No, really.

kelsey (kelstarry), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:06 (nineteen years ago)

Alex in Novosibirsk (ex machina), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:07 (nineteen years ago)

I think he's mad because he didn't get invited to the Halloween party.

n/a (Nick A.), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:07 (nineteen years ago)

Ironing! This is hilarious! Can someone post the Magna Carta, PLEASE?

The Milkmaid (of Human Kindness) (The Milkmaid), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:07 (nineteen years ago)

buh

n/a (Nick A.), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:08 (nineteen years ago)

...

Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:09 (nineteen years ago)

Did that fix it?

Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:09 (nineteen years ago)

Sweet.

Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:09 (nineteen years ago)

Is the paragraph tag important then?

jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:10 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.princeton.edu/~lawjourn/images/Magna%20Carta.jpg

Alex in Novosibirsk (ex machina), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:10 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.bl.uk/treasures/magnacarta/magna_main.html

M. White (Miguelito), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:14 (nineteen years ago)

All I did was (/strike). I don't know shit about this shit.

Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:15 (nineteen years ago)

I tried doing (/strike)s on the other threads but to no avail.

jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:16 (nineteen years ago)

like this?

gear (gear), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:17 (nineteen years ago)

The real ironing is that this specially designated thread for Jon to ruin is now the only one that's not ruined anymore.

jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:17 (nineteen years ago)

And there are now three or four Chicago threads on the board instead of one, of course.

Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:18 (nineteen years ago)

I like this one - let's keep it.

Eazy (Eazy), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:19 (nineteen years ago)

Johannes del gracia rex Anglie, dominus Hibernie, dux Normannie, Aquitannie et comes Andegavie, archiepiscopis, episcopis, abbatibus, comitibus, baronibus, justiciariis, forestariis, vicecomitibus, prepositis, ministris et omnibus ballivis et fidelibus suis salutem.

Sciatis nos intuitu Dei et pro salute anime nostre et omnium antecessorum et heredum nostrorum ad honorem Dei et exaltacionem sancte Ecclesie, et emendacionem regni nostri, per consilium venerabilium patrum nostrorum, Stephani Cantuariensis archiepiscopi tocius Anglie primatis et sancte Romane ecclesie cardinalis, Henrici Dublinensis archiepiscopi, Willelmi Londoniensis, Petri Wintoniensis, Joscelini Bathoniensis et Glastoniensis, Hugonis Lincolniensis, Walteri Wygorniensis, Willelmi Coventrensis, et Benedicti Roffensis, episcoporum; magistri Pandulfi domini pape subdiaconi et familiaris, fratris Aymerici magistri milicie Templi in Anglia; et nobilium virorum Willelmi Mariscalli comitis Penbrocie, Willelmi comitis Sarrisberie, Willelmi comitis Warennie, Willelmi comitis Arundellie, Alani de Galeweya constabularii Scocie, Warini filii Geroldi, Petri filii Hereberti, Huberti de Burgo senescalli Pictavie, Hugonis de Nevilla, Mathei filli Hereberti, Thome Basset, Alani Basset, Philippi de Albiniaco, Roberti de Roppel', Johannis Mariscalli, Johannis filii Hugonis et aliorum fidelium nostrorum:

In primis concessisse Deo et hac presenti carta nostra confirmasse, pro nobis et heredibus nostris in perpetuum, quod Anglicana ecclesie libera sit, et habeat jura sua integra, et libertates suas illesas; et ita volumus observari; quod apparet ex eo quod libertatem electionum, que maxima et magis necessaria reputatur ecclesie Anglicane, mera et spontanea voluntate, ante discordiam inter nos et barones nostros motam, concessimus et carta nostra confirmavimus, et eam obtinuimus a domino papa Innocentio tercio confirmari; quam et nos observabimus et ab heredibus nostris in perpetuum bona fide volumus observari.

Concessimus eciam omnibus liberis hominibus regni nostri, pro nobis et heredibus nostris in perpetuum, omnes libertates subscriptas, habendas et tenendas eis et heredibus suis, de nobis et heredibus nostris.


Si quis comitum vel baronum nostrorum, sive aliorum tenencium de nobis in capite per servicium militare, mortuus fuerit, et cum decesserit heres suus plene etatis fuerit et relevium debeat, habeat hereditatem suam per antiquum relevium; scilicet heres vel heredes comitis de baronia comitis integra per centum libras; heres veI heredes baronis de baronia integra per centum libras; heres vel heredes militis de feodo militis integro per centum solidos ad plus; et qui minus debuerit minus det secundum antiquam consuetudinem feodorum.


Si autem heres alicujus talium fuerit infra etatem et fuerit in custodia, cum ad etatem pervenerit, habeat hereditatem suam sine relevio et sine fine.


Custos terre hujusmodi heredis qui infra etatem fuerit, non capiat de terra heredis nisi racionabiles exitus, et racionabiles consuetudines, et racionabilia servicia, et hoc sine destructione et vasto hominum vel rerum; et si nos commiserimus custodiam alicujus talis terre vicecomiti vel alicui alii qui de exitibus illius nobis respondere debeat, et ille destructionem de custodia fecerit veI vastum, nos ab illo capiemus emendam, et terra committatur duobus legalibus et discretis hominibus de feodo illo, qui de exitibus respondeant nobis vel ei cui eos assignaverimus; et si dederimus vel vendiderimus alicui custodiam alicujus talis terre, et ille destructionem inde fecerit vel vastum, amittat ipsam custodiam, et tradatur duobus legalibus et discretis hominibus de feodo illo qui similiter nobis respondeant sicut predictum est.

Custos autem, quamdiu custodiam terre habuerit, sustentet domos, parcos, vivaria, stagna, molendina, et cetera ad terram illam pertinencia, de exitibus terre ejusdem; et reddat heredi cum ad plenam etatem pervenerit, terram suam totam instauratam de carucis et waynagiis, secundum quod tempus waynagii exiget et exitus terre racionabiliter poterunt sustinere.

Heredes maritentur absque disparagacione, ita tamen quod, antequam contrahatur matrimonium, ostendatur propinquis de consanguinitate ipsius heredis.


Vidua post mortem mariti sui statim et sine difficultate habeat maritagium et hereditatem suam, nec aliquid det pro dote sua, vel pro maritagio suo, vel hereditate sua, quam hereditatem maritus suus et ipsa tenuerint die obitus ipsius mariti, et maneat in domo mariti sul per quadraginta dies post mortem ipsius, infra quos assignetur ei dos sua.


Nulla vidua distringatur ad se maritandum, dum voluerit vivere sine marito, ita tamen quod securitatem faciat quod se non maritabit sine assensu nostro, si de nobis tenuerit, vel sine assensu domini sui de quo tenuerit, si de alio tenuerit.


Nec nos nec ballivi nostri seisiemus terram aliquam nec redditum pro debito aliquo, quamdiu catalla debitoris sufficiunt ad debitum reddendum; nec plegii ipsius debitoris distringantur quamdiu ipse capitalis debitor sufficit ad solucionem debiti; et si capitalis debitor defecerit in solucione debiti, non habens unde solvat, plegii respondeant de debito; et si voluerint, habeant terras et redditus debitoris, donec sit eis satisfactum de debito quod ante pro eo solverint, nisi capitalis debitor monstraverit se esse quietum inde versus eosdem plegios.

Si quis mutuo ceperit aliquid a Judeis, plus vel minus, et moriatur antequam debitum illud solvatur, debitum non usuret quamdiu heres fuerit infra etatem, de quocumque teneat; et si debitum illud inciderit in manus nostras, nos non capiemus nisi catallum contentum in carta.


Et si quis moriatur, et debitum debeat Judeis, uxor ejus habeat dotem suam, et nichil reddat de debito illo, et si liberi ipsius defuncti qui fuerint infra etatem remanserint, provideantur eis necessaria secundum tenementum quod fuerit defuncti et de residuo solvatur debitum, salvo servicio dominorum; simili modo fiat de debitis que debentur aliis quaim Judeis. [Articles, section 35.]


Nullum scutagium vel auxilium ponatur in regno nostro, nisi per commune consilium regni nostri, nisi ad corpus nostrum redimendum, et primogenitum filium nostrum militem faciendum, et ad filiam nostram primogenitam semel maritandam, et ad hec non fiat nisi racionabile auxilium; simili modo fiat de auxiliis de civitate Londoniarum.


Et civitas Londoniarum habeat omnes antiquas libertates et liberas consuetudines suas, tam per terras quam per aquas. Preterea volumus et concedimus quod omnes alie civitates, et burgi, et ville, et portus, habeant omnes libertates et liberas consuetudines suas.


Et ad habendum commune consilium regni de auxilio assidendo aliter quam in tribus casibus predictis, vel de scutagio assidendo, summoneri faciemus archiepiscopos, episcopos, abbates, comites, et majores barones sigillatim per litteras nostras; et preterea faciemus summoneri in generali per vicecomites et ballivos nostros omnes illos qui de nobis tenent in capite ad certum diem, scilicet ad terminum quadraginta dierum ad minus, et ad certum locum; et in omnibus litteris illius summonicionis causam summonicionis exprimemus; et sic facta summonicione negocium ad diem assignatum procedat secundum consilium illorum qui presentes fuerint, quamvis non omnes summoniti venerint.


Nos non concedemus de cetero alicui quod capiat auxilium de liberis hominibus suis, nisi ad corpus suum redimendum, et ad faciendum primogenitum filium suum militem, et ad primogenitam filiam suam semel maritandam, et ad hec non fiat nisi racionabile auxilium.


Nullus distringatur ad faciendum majus servicium de feodo militis, nec de alio libero tenemento, quam inde debetur.


Communia placita non sequantur curiam nostram, set teneantur in aliquo loco certo.


Recogniciones de nova disseisina, de morte antecessoris, et de ultima presentacione, non capiantur nisi in suis comitatibus et hoc modo; nos, vel si extra regnum fuerimus capitalis justiciarius noster, mittemus duos justiciarios per unumquemque comitatum per quatuor vices in anno, qui, cum quatuor militibus cujuslibet comitatus electis per comitatum, capiant in comitatu et in die et loco comitatus assisas predictas.


Et si in die comitatus assise predicte capi non possint, tot milites et libere tenentes remaneant de illis qui interfuerint comitatui die illo, per quos possint judicia sufficienter fieri, secundum quod negocium fuerit majus vel minus.


Liber homo non amercietur pro parvo delicto, nisi secundum modum delicti; et pro magno delicto amercietur secundum magnitudinem delicti, salvo contenemento suo; et mercator eodem modo, salva mercandisa sua; et villanus eodem modo amercietur salvo waynagio suo; si inciderint in misericordiam nostram; et nulla predictarum misericordiarum ponatur, nisi per sacramentum proborum hominum de visneto.


M. White (Miguelito), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:20 (nineteen years ago)

So what'd everyone have for lunch? I had some vegetable tempura and rice, and a smoothie from Jamba Juice.

jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:21 (nineteen years ago)

Blackened chicken calzone from downstairs - $4.95.

Eazy (Eazy), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:22 (nineteen years ago)

WAAAA! On a board with hundreds of threads to read there's one with people who know each other in real life but and talk about real life things instead of making funny internet jokes that I can get, too, and I don't know these people in real life so I'm going to be an asshole about it because I'm sad and lonely WAAAAA!!!

pullapartgirl (pullapartgirl), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:23 (nineteen years ago)

That's my take on it, anyway.

pullapartgirl (pullapartgirl), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:24 (nineteen years ago)

Build a Nest Box To Attract Birds
by Barb Ogg, Ph.D., Extension Educator

In the springtime in Nebraska some birds, like robins, build an open nest, but others prefer nesting in cavities in decayed trees or stumps. Cavity-dwelling birds, like woodpeckers, chickadees, house wrens, and bluebirds, will substitute a nest box for a tree cavity. Natural nest sites have disappeared as weakened or dying trees are removed from our landscape. Depending on other attributes in your landscape, providing an appropriately sized nest box may help attract some bird species to your yard.

Although elaborate designs for boxes are available, you can successfully attract birds by building an inexpensive, simple, six-sided box. Whatever the design or material used, the boxes must be strong, weatherproof, and securely fastened.

Single-compartment nest boxes are the easiest to build and the most frequently used by birds. When you are building the box, be sure to allow easy access for cleaning and occasional observations. You can use the same basic box design for all species (see Table 1 below). Table 1 gives the proper dimensions and hole sizes that are appropriate for different species.

Tips to improve the nesting of these species:

Wrens like to build "dummy" nests before they choose one to lay eggs in. Provide more than one box to improve the chances of attracting a nesting pair.

Chickadees prefer their nest boxes set close to shrubs or bushes. They will not tolerate any other chickadees in the vicinity of their nest.

Bluebirds may attempt a second nesting and would benefit from the chance to lay their next clutch in a second box.

Wood Ducks prefer a nest box near (or standing in) water. The young leave the nest within 48 hours of hatching by climbing up from the floor to the entrance hole and tumbling to the ground. Horizontal sawcuts or a piece of hardware cloth stapled to the inside wall between the floor and the entrance are essential for these species.

An excellent publication that gives diagrams of do-it-yourself bird houses is Shelves, Houses, and Feeders for Birds and Mammals, North Central Regional Publication 338. It is available from the University of Nebraska for $4 + shipping and handling.

For more specific information about bluebird nesting, contact Bluebirds across Nebraska; P.O. Box 67157; Lincoln, NE 68506.

gear (gear), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:25 (nineteen years ago)

Wait, what else did he ruin? I keep trying to find the threads but I can't.

This is an awesome trick, though. He could ruin the entire board by posting a gigantic stretchy picture over everything.

Then ILX would be dead as we know it!

GASP!

Cockbag, Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:27 (nineteen years ago)

After the storm passes, we should talk about Nellie McKay a little.

Eazy (Eazy), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:29 (nineteen years ago)

NO.

jocelyn (Jocelyn), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:30 (nineteen years ago)

Or, maybe people really hate us for our easy wit and breezy, chatty demeanor!

Who is Nellie McKay?

pullapartgirl (pullapartgirl), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:30 (nineteen years ago)

If you're going to ruin any thread today, please ruin the awful blackface/racism discussion that ILX has had ten million times already.

jocelyn (Jocelyn), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:31 (nineteen years ago)

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B0001AP07M.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:31 (nineteen years ago)

I had another deli sandwich because the one yesterday was so good. This one was pastramicentric and pretty decent, but I don't think had the same magic as the previous one. Also, I think the bag of chips was overreaching -- I was fighting sleep until 2:00.

Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:32 (nineteen years ago)

She's a kind of cabaret prodigy with an easy wit and a breezy, very chatty demeanor. John C. and I both heard her on 'Piano Jazz' on Sunday morning, and I was reminded of how great a songwriter she is, especially for being hardly in her 20s.

Eazy (Eazy), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:33 (nineteen years ago)

People like to hate on people, like all the TITTWIS hate over the years.

For lunch I had:
a PBH
carrots & celery
yog

Then we celebrated a birthday so I had lots and lots of chocolate.

Kittens Licking Cakes (coco), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:34 (nineteen years ago)

This just occurred to me:

http://www.fairfieldweekly.com/binary/77375-273-1/music-2702.jpeg http://findfamous.com/pictures/reba_mcentire.jpg

Eh?

jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:35 (nineteen years ago)

HAHAHHHAHAHA. Nice one.

The Milkmaid (of Human Kindness) (The Milkmaid), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:36 (nineteen years ago)

Piano Jazz, the Marian McPartland show? I didn't know that was still on. What time?

Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:36 (nineteen years ago)

I really really hate Nellie McKay.

jocelyn (Jocelyn), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:37 (nineteen years ago)

I never had a little sister
No brother to tell my troubles to
My nights were oh so sad and lonely
Until the day that I met you

Some people say it isn't healthy
To be the only one around
That's why I get a little edgy
Don't want to lose what I have found
'Cause I'm an only child

You are the light at the end of the tunnel
You are the sun and the moon and sky
You are my sister mother lover
Without you, babe, I'm gonna die

Some people say it isn't healthy
To be the only one around
That's why I get a little edgy
Don't want to lose what I have found
'Cause I'm an only child

F.R.I.E.N.D. (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:37 (nineteen years ago)

There is such a thing as being too clever.

The Milkmaid (of Human Kindness) (The Milkmaid), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:38 (nineteen years ago)

We were watching Tremors on TV the other night with my dad, during the commercials between The Sixth Sense, and REBA was in it. She plays Michael Gross's wife.

n/a (Nick A.), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:38 (nineteen years ago)

JC -- it's on from 11 am to noon on Sundays in Chicago.

jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:38 (nineteen years ago)

She's got the chops to go off the rails, and that's a good rare combination.

Eazy (Eazy), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:40 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.poppedculture.net/dumb_nosukn.jpg

Jerk, Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:40 (nineteen years ago)

This is good. Maybe if we can all agree to hate on this Nellie McKay person, we can stop hating on each other. Because internet-poster hate is largely pointless. But celebrity hate... now that's something that GETS THE JOB DONE.

pullapartgirl (pullapartgirl), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:40 (nineteen years ago)

Thanks, John. If it's on at the same time here I won't be able to catch it, that's when I have to play the church gig!

Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:40 (nineteen years ago)

I think I've explained why to John before. If I had just heard her voce, I think I would like her, but it's because she places her cute appearance and falsified age over her talent and has to mention it in every single interview, esp. the one I heard on NPR where she sounded like a total weirdo. As amanda said, there is such a thing as being too clever and it's why I despise the Augustan poets and Oscar Wildeophiles.

jocelyn (Jocelyn), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:41 (nineteen years ago)

http://sondrak.com/archive/skpics/goatse.jpg

Tester of HTML, Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:45 (nineteen years ago)

Set List for Nellie McKay on Piano Jazz
"The Suitcase Song" (McKay)
"The Work Song" (McKay)
"Pennies from Heaven" (Burke, Johnston)
"What'll I Do" (Berlin)
"Skylark" (Carmichael, Mercer)
"I Wanna Get Married" (McKay)
"The Dog Song" (McKay)
"Body and Soul" (Green, Heyman, Sour)
"Portrait of Nellie McKay" (McPartland)
"Portrait of Marian McPartland" (McKay)
"Route 66" (Troup)

jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:47 (nineteen years ago)

I think the image is more about deciding to be a major-label artist than an artistic choice. It's frustrating to hear and read interviews over and over with the same issues (age or whatever) to any musician, but most of the time those are the issues front and center in the label or PR person's press release. I just think the songs are complicated and interesting and innovative, and kind of like I keep saying this year with The Ditty Bops, I like that someone thinks that this quirky non-rock stuff is pop music and can be mass-marketed.

But I wouldn't ever make you listen to her again, Jocelyn. (But get used to her 'cause she's here to stay, heh.)

Eazy (Eazy), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:48 (nineteen years ago)

You crazy continuers of conversation carrying on do see the same thing I see, right? A devil fucking a goat?
Just checking.
Please acknowledge it.
Don't pretend like nothing's bothering you.

What Eh?, Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:56 (nineteen years ago)

Please acknowledge it.

I prefer not to.

The Milkmaid (of Human Kindness) (The Milkmaid), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 21:58 (nineteen years ago)

What are you responding to, Amanda?

Kittens Licking Cakes (coco), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 22:03 (nineteen years ago)

Talk to me... like lovers do! Taaaaalk to me...

Kittens Licking Cakes (coco), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 22:11 (nineteen years ago)

So, listen - I'm living kind of near the Beat Kitchen as of this weekend, and I'm working in the Loop 'til mid-December. What's the best commute? Today I caught the Belmont bus and got out at Paulina, walked up to the brown line and took it in. Belmont bus to the Red is another option. Any other expresses I'm not thinking of?

Eazy (Eazy), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 22:39 (nineteen years ago)

Those are probably the best two. Are you far enough that you can't walk to the Paulina stop?

jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 22:43 (nineteen years ago)

It'd be a bit of a walk - I'm near Leavitt (the intersection with the liquor store and the Starbucks). I had been planning to take the Belmont all the way to the red, but it was crawling along so slowly I got out at Paulina instead. Maybe tomorrow I'll see how the walk is.

(On the other hand, I found the plus side of a 45 minute commute vs. a 10-minute one - I actually got to read - dove into the Scowcroft article.)

Eazy (Eazy), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 22:46 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah, I liked that article (despite hstencil saying he didn't learn anything new from it). I only ever read on the train!

jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 22:48 (nineteen years ago)

You don't read before you go to sleep?

The Milkmaid (of Human Kindness) (The Milkmaid), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 22:49 (nineteen years ago)

I can't read this thread unless I turn images off -- otherwise the whole screen is the image, originally a lovely illuminated ms, now a goat in an indelicate condition.

Laurel (Laurel), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 22:54 (nineteen years ago)

If I read before sleep it's in the bathtub (that might stop now that I've got roommates - lots of feet on that surface!) - good for short articles and epigrammatic self-help books, but that's about it.

Eazy (Eazy), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 23:02 (nineteen years ago)

Didn't learn anything new from the Scowcroft article? All the history of Cheney and Rice's positions in previous administrations and the new quotes from Powell were all kind of new and enthralling to me.

Eazy (Eazy), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 05:19 (nineteen years ago)

0000000

nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 08:22 (nineteen years ago)


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