Awkward Social Situations.

I'm okay with up to 4 people inc. moi.

And, pretty much, anytime of the day, anywhere, really.. I manage to feel only minimally uncomfortable and awkward.

people are so strange. and they're everywhere! i think you don't have a choice -- sometimes you have to be a little awkward.

and like, work functions? i don't know about that. i find them awkward. but a lot of people don't.

I find situations where everyone else knows each other, and they all have a first language that I don't speak, really awkward.

Also, "networking" situations are awful. I've come across a couple lately and they all tend to involve meeting someone accomplished in my field and getting completely tongue-tied as a result of nerves. Like, what do you ask someone whose life work is really interesting and over your head, but you have no idea where to start a conversation? I am grateful to meet these people, but I'm afraid the impression I make is worse than not meeting them at all!

im imagining surmounter approaching coworkers at the christmas party all like u think ur smarter than me?

omg

AWKWARD!

sometimes i force myself to like run with the awkward. really take it there.

Maria, basically the way around that is to say you're new to it all and are looking for clues, get a card, arrange more formal coffee meeting for later where you can dork out over their work. Or you can dork out in the email to lay groundwork for discussion at that meeting.

I find situations where everyone else knows each other, and they all have a first language that I don't speak, really awkward.

OTM.

Also awkward is when you just fucked something up really bad at work (well not terribly bad, but notably), and then your manager comes in and you stand around for four hours with nothing to do, that failure over both your heads. Not that this happened to me to-day.

"networking" situations are awful.

I CANNOT cope with these, and am a bit worried that I will never have a worthwhile career as a result, unless I unexpectedly become a famous novelist or serial killer or something.

I have to go to one tomorrow night, the biggest one of the year. I fear that, like most years, it will result in me talking only to people I already know because everyone else is either much older than I am or looks obnoxious.

i once tried to get together a networking event at a mexican place and a lot of people showed up, but i found them to be so annoying that weeks later i ditched my career

I wish "serial killer" was a career track in The Sims.

I'm sure there's a way.

Do you start out killing ants under a magnification glass?

And then you know you're set when they've made a movie out of one of the true crime books in which you've starred.

Awkward is the only language I ever learned

It's the international language.

Awkward is the only language I ever learned

-- Curt1s Stephens, Tuesday, June 10, 2008 7:45 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

It's the international language.

-- Abbott, Tuesday, June 10, 2008 7:47 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

Aw. True though.

I don't like self pity as a rule, really don't, but that ^^^ conversation makes me feel really sorry for myself... and anyone else sort of like me, in similar situations, etc.

Other people admitting to awkwardness actually makes me feel much, much better about myself. Like there's nothing uniquely wrong with me, some situations are just uncomfortable, at least until you've figured out how to make them not so. (Also, being thrown into some situations this year that I cannot imagine ANYONE finding comfortable have made me look at awkwardness as often much more situational than personal.)

Suzy - thank you for the advice. Very sensible.

Anyone at a certain level in a field with some potential for mentoring (which I'm assuming this situ is) is used to meeting hopefuls, has probably met more of them than you've had hot dinners and seriously will not sweat it. besides, once you get their card you can relax and talk about something tangentially related to the subject at hand, which is more fun and lets you get to know them too.

I was in an awkward social situation with a couple of ILXors last night. But we muddled through.

I absolutely 100 percent cannot handle large collective celebration.

kind of funny coming from ilx's own house/techno dj!

Man can I sympathize with anyone who has ever felt socially awkward in any situation ever. I've got infinitely better since high school, no feelings of death panic when I have to go into, say, a public office, can converse with most anyone if they're doing the initiating. Still pretty awkward at parties, which is where alcohol comes in. Still hate to use a telephone.
Funny though, as my social skills have improved I've found I can't do things I used to; I used to remember meager to reasonably sized conversations verbatim (IF I was paying attention, that is), I don't remember banal minutia like I used to--placements of things around a house, that sort of thing. I no longer have the patience for web design and 3d computer graphics like I did as a teenager. Etc etc.
Possibly these things are totally unrelated, but the timing correlates.

http://i44.tinypic.com/2d0jcd2.jpg

had a brilliant one last week. was going for a job which my colleague who sits on the same desk was also going for. I'd had my interview on the Thursday and it was a real "don't mention the war" atmosphere with neither of us bringing it up or really talking. So on Friday I was sprinting for the lift to bring a tape somewhere in a hurry and I just made it in time to hold the door open, only to find the co-worker on her way up to a floor miles away, with the editor who's about to interview her in tow.

couldn't resist just saying "phew....it is RAINING out there today! R-A-I-N-I-N-G!"

good one!!

http://www.lolblog.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/2d9r8uv.jpg

dude just link to encyclopedia dramatica

wait it just got weird didn't it

what's encyclopedia dramatica?

http://www.boomspeed.com/neogeoarcade/confused.gif / tuomas

omar, keep posting those. i mean, if you want to.

xpost

no no...

it's too awkward now

no, it's ok, they're funny!

augh, sorry

haha

http://i39.tinypic.com/b8va05.jpg

we need a thread of the penguin and the wolfie

do you want to start one or should i....

I was gonna post hungry like the me on the other thread yesterday!

okay, how to deal with this:

I live in a small lolcollege town, and a couple moved in across the street two years ago. In theory we should hang out - similar ages, they look like they'd be into the same kinds of stuff, etc, but we never met them and the guy was kind of surly and didn't seem interested in meeting us when we'd cross paths.

However, a year and a half ago our friend had a post-breakup series of flings and ended up hooking up with a dude a couple times who said he was single, then changed that to being in a long distance relationship that wasn't working out, then fessed up to being married and that his wife was actually here with him. He was totally cheating on his wife with this younger newly single girl. Over the next month we realized it was our neighbor and we began to refer to him as WC for "wife cheater", and calling her CW, for "cheated wife". We'd see them out the window or on the bus but still never met either of them, and always wondered how to deal with them if we ever actually had to.

Tonight we went to a party at my wife's colleague's house and finally met them which was awkward enough, but made even stranger by totally getting along with them - she's super cool, seems like she and my wife would be friends, they want to hang out with us, and so on.

So what now? I feel really weird hanging out with this guy who cheated on his wife with our friend, like three of the four of us know a secret that the wife doesn't know. Do we call him on it? Tell him that we know and see if he decides to not hang out with us because of that? Act like nothing happened, while knowing that he was cheating on her?

I take cheating kind of seriously, and they have six month old twins now. But maybe she knows what he was up to and they worked it all out - she's doesn't seem stupid or oblivious or anything, and she has to have wondered what he was doing when he was vanishing overnight to sleep with our friend. I don't want to call him out in front of her, but it feels so crazy to pretend like nothing happened.

Seriously, what am I supposed to do? Nothing? Tell him we know? Casually bring up our friend by name so he can figure it out on his own?

Casually bring up our friend by name so he can figure it out on his own?

This may actually be your best (or least-worst, realistically) move.

as a performer, I hate it when I'm in a get together with someone I don't know, and a friend goes "You should hear Jerry play, he's phenomenal!". Because then it always involves me having to play for everyone and in the back of my head I think "geez, what if the dude that was just told I was amazing thinks I suck, I'm going to feel like such an asshole".

leave it, they've got twins. you don't want to be responsible for those kids growin gup without a dad, even if he's a cheating dad. it's always possible that having children has made him wise up. if you really have to do something, mentioning your friend by name is the least worst option but i'd say don't get involved unless you want to heap misery on this family.

The only winning move is not to play.

go for the threesome

they're only six months old, I don't think they're into threesomes

dude "twins" = boobs

they're only six months old, I don't think they've grown boobs

I think not playing is probably the only legit move. I don't want to cause the downfall of anyone's marriage, particularly where kids are involved. Nor do I want to end up being really close friends with the wife only to feel like I'm holding back some horrible secret from her.

Unless they somehow come out and say that they had some rough patch that they worked out or something, it's probably best to be neighborly and nothing more.

you're forgetting blackmail.

One of my coworkers pointed at my neck where I have a pimple coming in and said, boy you're too old for that which led to me getting a bit huffy and self conscious. When I just looked in a mirror, I realized it looked a little like a hicky, which is pretty clearly what she meant. Whoops.

i am not the kind of person who normally uses "pooh-pooh" in a sentence.

but today, i was in a meeting, and i was basically trying to express that i didn't want totally dismiss the value of a certain dataset. and i started a sentence with something like "now, don't get me wrong, i certainly don't want to...", and i paused to find the right word. and for some reason, i just could NOT figure out a way of saying it that did not involve saying "pooh-pooh", so i just fucking WENT FOR IT and said "i certainly don't want to ...pooh-pooh on that dataset, but ..." and kept going like it was no big deal. but it WAS a big fucking deal, to me at least, and i giggled it a little bit to myself at the end of the sentence.

that's the first time i've ever used "pooh-pooh" in that kind of context, out loud, and later i realized that you don't say "pooh-pooh ON", you just say "pooh-pooh".

FUCK

ahahahahahaha

<3

Z S rules

NEVER AGAIN dudes

oh man

that's like something that would happen to me in a nightmare

awwww. you can pass it off as being like 'hating on'. except with more excrement.

"I'll take a wee wee bit more to drink"

nice

Isn't it "I'll take a wee wee on a bit more to drink" to be equivalent to the original story?

Z S that is an embarrassing situation but that story is basically perfect.

It's like an ad for one of those telephone sex lines: "POOH-POOH ON MY DATASET! Calls cost £$£$£ / min. Must be 18 or over."

http://25.media.tumblr.com/890db48db0ce72e2b785715afe720cd6/tumblr_mfe7epV5VK1qdmmiqo1_500.gif

yesterday i was trying to find seats for a friend and myself in a crowded dining situation. i made a reasonable proposal which was rejected by an awkward stranger in favor of a ridiculously awful rearrangement that took literally 2 minutes to complete

at least i didn't say poo poo

That reminds me of a situation that happened to me once on a train.

<snoball enters packed rush hour train, goes over to two backpackers who are taking up six seats with all their gear>
snoball: "Hey, do you mind moving some of your stuff so that some people can sit down?"
backpacker: "Huh?"
snoball: "Maybe put some of your bags up on the luggage racks so that people can sit down?"
backpacker: "No we're not going to do that."
snoball: "Why? This train is packed and..."
backpacker: "We're not moving out bags."
snoball: "Did you buy six tickets or only two?"
backpacker: "Eh?"
snoball: "What you want to do is have some consideration for other people." <snoball storms off up the carriage>

wait zs why did you even need her permission to sit at a table she wasn't sitting at? what a strange lady!

no, i didn't need permission! and one thing i left out of the gif is that the two seats on the right were being vacated by another couple. i was standing around saying to my friend "jeez, it's crowded, what should we do?" and then i glanced over and they were grabbing their coats and belongings and they gave me the international sign for "it's ok, you can these seats". so i said thanks and then the awkward lady began her awkward move. i was like "oh, do you mind if we sit there?" and that proposal was REJECTED as the awkward lady began the long process. so fucking weird.

that's so weird, zs

So weird. I woulda just sat down and let her futz w/ whatever.

Futzy lady.

ZS made her get up and scream.

what explanation did she give?!

only possible one i can think of is that she was close to leaving (or closer than you) and didn't want to awkwardly shovel her stuff past you as she exited

laughed every time i watched that gif and i watched it several times

a GIF that keeps on giving

i love the bit when it goes "proposoal reject". that probably my number one fave gif.

The only words she said were something like "I will sit there". There was no advantage to be gained by moving - not closer to the door, and she ended up staying to eat for another 20 minutes. The only thing I could think of is that maybe she had been sitting between two different conversations and wanted to be on the outside. But the person on the table on the left ("nice woman") was by herself so I'm sure she wasn't being too annoying.

Awkward person was looking at her phone the entire time, like 30 minutes straight, through lunch and even while she was moving her belongings, do maybe she was just catastrophically distracted.

Maybe a more likely explanation is that in the minutes before my friend and I arrived, awkward person came up with a plan to move to the edge table as soon as it became available. Some people are obsessed with that kind of symmetry and distance between strangers. But when we showed up and took the edge table, she couldn't recalibrate her plan (or, you know, just sit there and eat without creating a weird incident). So she went ahead and carries out her plan even though it no longer made sense.

I'm going to assume she actually said "PROPOSAL REJECTED" in a robot voice.

"Siri, can I sit here?"
"PROPOSAL REJECTED"

i wish i could have zs create diagram gifs for everything i do

pleasant dinner table conversation with those near and dear to me

:(

Wow, so much drama about a table!! Jeez, when that happens to me, I just pack up my shit and take it back to the office.

<3 to u conty

thanks, man. i'm cool, but holidays are fraught.

they are

Friend said I looked tired, i explained i was saving my energy for being cheerful over Christmas as i find it hard work. She laughed and agreed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_f2-88pyRtU