My girlfriend's little brother is a twat.

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One of their cat's went missing over the weekend - he came back Tuesday night and was limping abdly. They took him to the vet's and had him examined - a dislocated right hind leg; it seems as though he was run over. He's been strapped-up, given painkillers, and sent home with strict instructions not to let him out and not to let him move around too much (he's 7). They have another cat, so can't very well cover up the catflap, but they did close the kitchen door to the lean-to, where the catflap is, so the well cat could sleep in the lean-to and get out if he wanted in the night.

My girlfriend's brother, who is 14 and as insolent, selfish, surly and porn-obsessed as you could image a teenager to be, left the kitchen door open last night when he was last to bed and now Duster, the injured cat, has gone. There has been heavy rain in the night and very strong, gusting winds.

This is the thread where you a; reassure me that Duster will be OK and turn up soon (my girlfriend and her mum were out searching from 6.30am but Emma's had to go to a lecture now) and b; convince me not to beat the fucking living daylight shit out of my girlfriend's brother, who badly needs some discipline, probably in the form of a very nasty, terrifying shock to his system that will break him out of the unpleasant person he's been developing into over the last 18 months.

I am not happy. I am really not happy. And I am having to sit at a desk 12 miles away from where I feel I ought to be looking for this cat.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Thursday, 3 November 2005 10:30 (nineteen years ago)

He left the door open deliberately?

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Thursday, 3 November 2005 10:34 (nineteen years ago)

b; convince me not to beat the fucking living daylight shit out of my girlfriend's brother, who badly needs some discipline, probably in the form of a very nasty, terrifying shock to his system that will break him out of the unpleasant person he's been developing into over the last 18 months.

what's right is right, nick. this guy is scum.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 3 November 2005 10:35 (nineteen years ago)

He left the door open deliberately?

He had no reason to open it.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Thursday, 3 November 2005 10:39 (nineteen years ago)

i had a fight with my brother-in-law once, it cleared the air. we are now friends.

don't beat him up, just grab him by the scruff of his neck, push him up against a wall, do your best psycho eyes and warn him how close he is to a good shoeing. this will work, he'll behave around you.

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Thursday, 3 November 2005 10:41 (nineteen years ago)

It's not so much that I want him to behave around me - I just want him to not be a wanker in general.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Thursday, 3 November 2005 10:53 (nineteen years ago)

He's 14. It's prime wanker age.

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Thursday, 3 November 2005 10:55 (nineteen years ago)

Poor kitty, I hope he's ok. If it's been raining, he might be hiding out somewhere dry -- like under a bush or in a shed or garage. Cats generally come back when they're hungry enough. This exact same thing happened to one of ours and she turned up inside the neighbours' house. Try not to fret. Give that brother a stern talking to -- what a prat.

― salexander / sofia (salexander), Thursday, 3 November 2005 10:58 (nineteen years ago)

porn-obsessed

Are you his role-model?

― ILX, Thursday, 3 November 2005 11:00 (nineteen years ago)

porn-obsessed
Are you his role-model?

-- ILX (i...), Today 11:00 AM. (later)

Who the fuck is this? Is this Doomie? Are you still trolling?

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Thursday, 3 November 2005 11:02 (nineteen years ago)

I just want him to not be a wanker in general.

Well, what else is he going to do when he watches porn? ;-)

Do you really think he deliberately left the door open so the cat could escape?

― Nathalie, the Queen of Frock 'n' Fall (stevie nixed), Thursday, 3 November 2005 11:03 (nineteen years ago)

Do you really think he deliberately left the door open so the cat could escape?

That's the thing - I don't know. I cannot fathom the mentality of someone who would do that, and as unpleasant as he is a lot of the time I don't think he's malicious, just thoughtless and selfish. But, like I said earlier, he had no reason to open that door. None at all. I'm wondering if he's got some deep-seated flash jealousy thing going on cos of the attention that the cat's got for the last few days - obviously Emma and her mum have been worried sick. I've posted about Emma's dad before - her little brother has serius issues stemming from his dad being a pillock. I get on with her other brother, who's now 19 and who I've known since he was 15, really really well and pretty much always have.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Thursday, 3 November 2005 11:08 (nineteen years ago)

I think most people go through an arsehole phase in their early teens, don't they? That's not an excuse for what he did, but it might mean you get on better with each other in the future.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Thursday, 3 November 2005 11:23 (nineteen years ago)

i'm glad i live a long way from my g/f's family (so is she, i think). her brother has the mental age of 14.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 3 November 2005 11:29 (nineteen years ago)

I think most people go through an arsehole phase in their early teens, don't they?

OTM.

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 3 November 2005 11:37 (nineteen years ago)

Well, the point is not to think what you would (or would not) do. Maybe he did in fact leave the door open because he's jealous. I'd confront him with it. Not accuse him, of course, but ask him if he did. Also, cats run away but most of the time they do come back, no? At least I hope so in this case!

― Nathalie, the Queen of Frock 'n' Fall (stevie nixed), Thursday, 3 November 2005 11:38 (nineteen years ago)

Initially he admitted he left the door open but then he started denying it.

I know cats run away and come back but this cat has a dislocated leg at the moment.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Thursday, 3 November 2005 11:44 (nineteen years ago)

Where did the cat go missing? People can keep an eye out, maybe...

My GF's little sister is seven and is a nightmare. She can be a good kid sometimes, but she's been spoiled rotten by separated parents who are desperate not to upset her, thus making a rod for everyone else's back.

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Thursday, 3 November 2005 11:55 (nineteen years ago)

If the kid has any respect at all for you (I mean if you get along even a little bit) don't beat him up. Just ask him whey he's being such a fuckup.

The cat may not have gone too far in the rain... Hopefully, it's nearby under shelter.

― when something smacks of something (dave225.3), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:27 (nineteen years ago)

The cat has come home.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:37 (nineteen years ago)

Yay!

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:39 (nineteen years ago)

Hurray! What a relief -- even I was worried about it. Hope the brother feels guilty.

― salexander / sofia (salexander), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:39 (nineteen years ago)

winner!

beat on the brat ANYWAY.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:39 (nineteen years ago)

But the cat came back, she wouldn't stay away
She was sitting on the porch the very next day
The cat came back, she didn't want to roam
The very next day it was Home, Sweet Home

― when something smacks of something (dave225.3), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:44 (nineteen years ago)

Beat his ass.

― I do feel guilty for getting any perverse amusement out of it (Rock Hardy), Thursday, 3 November 2005 13:13 (nineteen years ago)

I'm kind of surprised that ken c didn't start a "My girlfriend's little twat is a bother" parody thread.

― Dan (I'm Just Saying) Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 3 November 2005 20:18 (nineteen years ago)

I think thats because he's not online!

― Last Of The Famous International Pfunkboys (Kerr), Thursday, 3 November 2005 20:41 (nineteen years ago)

Oh, like that's an excuse.

― Dan (Slacker) Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 3 November 2005 20:42 (nineteen years ago)

WHERE KEN C AT?

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Thursday, 3 November 2005 21:11 (nineteen years ago)

Break his leg and leave him in a field to crawl home.

― Are You Nomar? (miloaukerman), Thursday, 3 November 2005 21:40 (nineteen years ago)

I considered that, miloaukerman, but in actuality I scowled at him until he left the room with his head cowed when I saw him this evening.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Thursday, 3 November 2005 21:46 (nineteen years ago)

Woah, I wish I could turn someone's head into a cow.

― Dan (I Would Fight CRIME!) Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 3 November 2005 21:47 (nineteen years ago)

Best suggestion yet though I understand why you didn't do it.

Breaking legs is not as glamorous as you'd think.

― martin m. (mushrush), Thursday, 3 November 2005 21:48 (nineteen years ago)

that was totally xposted with Dan. My comment has nothing to do with cows. Or heads.

― martin m. (mushrush), Thursday, 3 November 2005 21:48 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah my gf has two right fuck up for bro's - one's 13/14 - the most spoilt fat little twat u ever met - and a right pain in the ass - never does what he's told - so fucking undisciplined - he's mum does everything for him. her older bro abt 20/21 is a knob - we never speak - he's such a cock - i think he's got some vendetta against me cuz im fucking his sister - the great thing is her bedroom is above his - so i make sure its extra noisey sometimes if u get me! he might be protective of her but theres no reason to blatantly not talk to me - but like i say ill always be the winner in that scenario!

― ski-man, Tuesday, 15 November 2005 11:17 (nineteen years ago)

are cats with dislocated right hind legs really more likely to escape from a house in the rain?

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 15 November 2005 11:27 (nineteen years ago)

(sorry Dan i was away and missed this thread, how disappointing :( although i dunno if i would have done "my girlfriend's little twat is a brother though" that's a bit too clever for me)

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 15 November 2005 11:28 (nineteen years ago)

im fucking his sister - the great thing is her bedroom is above his - so i make sure its extra noisey sometimes if u get me! he might be protective of her but theres no reason to blatantly not talk to me

That's right. No reason at all. Why he shouldn't want a chat after you pound his sister into his ceiling?

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Tuesday, 15 November 2005 11:31 (nineteen years ago)

That's foul ski-man.

― Kv_nol (Kv_nol), Tuesday, 15 November 2005 11:33 (nineteen years ago)

he was probably whacking off downstairs to the thoughts of you piledriving his sister. you're only fuelling his fantasies!!!!

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 15 November 2005 11:34 (nineteen years ago)

I have made occasional jokes to Emma's older younger brother (the 19 year old who I get on well with) about boffing his sister but never audibly drilled her through the wall into his room. I'm not surprised he hates you.

In other news, her younger younger brother is still being a dick.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 15 November 2005 11:45 (nineteen years ago)

i'm still intriged by this tendency for injured cats to escape houses into the thunderstorm! how did the brother know this? or was this some experiment he was conducting?

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 15 November 2005 11:54 (nineteen years ago)

The cat likes being outside. The cat was being kept inside. The cat doens't like using a litter tray (although it does) and would rather shit in the garden or wherever. Little brother was told not to let cat out even if it asked. Little brother let cat out.

Honestly, cityfolk don't know nothin'.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 15 November 2005 11:55 (nineteen years ago)

cats are so weird

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 15 November 2005 12:03 (nineteen years ago)

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