Lol @ Ross Kemp

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will news international have to like, completely ignore this?

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 3 November 2005 11:45 (nineteen years ago)

LOLZER!!!!

― Frogm@n Henry, Thursday, 3 November 2005 11:49 (nineteen years ago)

LOL2005

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 3 November 2005 11:52 (nineteen years ago)

ROFFL!!

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 3 November 2005 11:53 (nineteen years ago)

Where was Steve McFadden when he was needed?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 3 November 2005 11:56 (nineteen years ago)

BILLY MITCHELL TO THREAD.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 3 November 2005 11:57 (nineteen years ago)

LEAVE IT! It's faaaaaahmly.

― Patchouli Clark (noodle vague), Thursday, 3 November 2005 11:59 (nineteen years ago)

Domestic violence is hilarious, obviously.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:02 (nineteen years ago)

"Rebekah" - that's so l33t and funneh!

― g-kit (g-kit), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:03 (nineteen years ago)

i was waiting for a post like aldo's. come on it's fucking ROSS KEMP and the paediatrician-baiting REBEKAH WADE.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:05 (nineteen years ago)

ihttp://www.guardian.co.uk/consumer/story/0,,1560403,00-
.html

― Patchouli Clark (noodle vague), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:06 (nineteen years ago)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/480000/images/_480204_ross_kemp.jpg

― Patchouli Clark (noodle vague), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:06 (nineteen years ago)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/840000/images/_841499_ross_kemp150.jpg

― Patchouli Clark (noodle vague), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:09 (nineteen years ago)

Keep 'em peeled.

― Patchouli Clark (noodle vague), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:09 (nineteen years ago)

http://images-eu.amazon.com/images/P/B000096KJM.02.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:13 (nineteen years ago)

i was waiting for a post like aldo's. come on it's fucking ROSS KEMP and the paediatrician-baiting REBEKAH WADE.

I keenly wait your impending "It's funny when porn stars get raped" thread.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:15 (nineteen years ago)

http://rafahpundits.com/pics/the%20sun.jpg

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:16 (nineteen years ago)

Precedent for this:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/media/images/40803000/jpg/_40803513_cindy_220.jpg

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:22 (nineteen years ago)

one for aldo

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:24 (nineteen years ago)

i dunno, it pretty much fits what i assumed their home life would be like.

can porn stars actually be raped? what would the soundtrack be like to that?

― d.arraghmac, Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:28 (nineteen years ago)

Oh fuck off.

x-post to milton

Yes, as a former victim I have a problem with this, OK?

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:29 (nineteen years ago)

I find Kemp very comical and all, and yeah this is kinda ironic - dontch'a think??!? /Alanis - but really I'm LOLling like a bastard at that piece of shit Wade.

― Masked Gazza, Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:29 (nineteen years ago)

What Aldo said (having worked, paid and voluntarily, for Victim Support). Yuck.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:32 (nineteen years ago)

the fact it's wade and kemp blinds me to all other considerations. it may as well be the thatchers.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:35 (nineteen years ago)

can porn stars actually be raped? what would the soundtrack be like to that?

God, I do hope for your sake you're joking. Even though it's not funny, it's better than saying something that stupid.

― Nathalie, the Queen of Frock 'n' Fall (stevie nixed), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:36 (nineteen years ago)

hey, dennis is a nice enough chap.

(xpost)

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:36 (nineteen years ago)

Inasmuch as he's dead, yes.

― Patchouli Clark (noodle vague), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:38 (nineteen years ago)

Apparently she's been released without charge. Standards of justice in this country are too soft. What about the victims, eh?

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:39 (nineteen years ago)

Most likely because it was a woman assaulting a man, which haven't you heard just is not possible! I too am quite appalled that people find this amusing.

― salexander / sofia (salexander), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:41 (nineteen years ago)

is it really impossible to

a) revile domestic violence of all kinds and;
b) be quite pleased that Ms Wade battered Mr Kemp

at the same time?

surely it's not, in a world shorn of platonic ideals.

― barbarian cities (jaybob3005), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:42 (nineteen years ago)

Most likely because it was a woman assaulting a man, which haven't you heard just is not possible! I too am quite appalled that people find this amusing.

Do you actually know who Rebekah Wade and Ross Kemp are?

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:43 (nineteen years ago)

x post

Apparently Kantian imperatives are alive and kicking though.

Well, at least at the Kemp house.

― Patchouli Clark (noodle vague), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:44 (nineteen years ago)

barbarian otm.

i mean, if george bush was being vicimised by his staff a la 'the servant', that would be funny also.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:47 (nineteen years ago)

Why should Kemp attract hatred? Bad actor and ITV stooge with horrible taste in partners yes, but is that enough to be reviled?

― Masked Gazza, Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:48 (nineteen years ago)

yes. also horrible taste in acting roles.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:48 (nineteen years ago)

she acted in the spirit of how she would have acted in the best of all possible worlds. she treated him as an end-in-himself and she kicked that end. she's fully exonerated in metaphysical terms at least.

― barbarian cities (jaybob3005), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:48 (nineteen years ago)

Most likely because it was a woman assaulting a man, which haven't you heard just is not possible!

I spent one of the most painful afternoons of my life arguing about this with a fucking Women's Aid worker, who kept trying to tell me that if a woman hits a man he must have done something to provoke her.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:48 (nineteen years ago)

Would people be laughing if it had been Kemp who had beaten Wade up? She seems more odious than him.

― JSL, Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:49 (nineteen years ago)

yeah but sleb wankers like Wade and Kemp aren't 'real' people are they.

― 'ello mum, Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:50 (nineteen years ago)

was wade somehow involved in that whole 'prince charles institutional weirdery rape cover-up' thing?

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:50 (nineteen years ago)

I was just about to ask the same question. What if Paul Dacre had flatted Mrs Dacre? Condemnation and gloating, certainly, but not laughter.

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:50 (nineteen years ago)

Yes, but that would tip the scales rather wouldn't it?

xpost to 'JSL'

― DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:51 (nineteen years ago)

i really think that hijacking this perfectly amusing thread to emphasise, as if it were a revelation, that it is also bad when women hit men is just not on.

everyone knows it's bad when women hit men. i'm a man and i would really rather not be hit.

I don't think there's some great 'right' or 'truth' that needs recognising here.

― barbarian cities (jaybob3005), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:52 (nineteen years ago)

it is true that there's a double-standard and i will admit i wouldn't be lolling if kemp had hit wade.

xpost

wow barbarian otm TWICE now

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:53 (nineteen years ago)

Domestic abuse directed by women towards men is something that it's easy to laugh at, because we either think it doesn't happen, or because we think men should be too tuff to let it happen. It's not funny.

However, under the circumstances, I can see the morbidly ironic side of Ross 'Ultimate Force' Kemp being bullied by Rebekah 'used the paper to campaign against domestic violence' Wade.

― scotstvo (scotstvo), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:53 (nineteen years ago)

An acquaintance of mine has an abusive partner (though she might have got better now, it was a wee while ago). It was really difficult when I worked with him. One time he came into work with his head completely covered in scratches, and we'd have to sypathise when he told us that a kitten had done it. Another time he 'fell off his bike'. He knew we all knew, and we knew he knew we knew. He was open about her mental illness, but didn't want to talk about the physical effects on him. It was pretty horrible.

― Vicky (Vicky), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:54 (nineteen years ago)

xposts

this is because in most cases a man is more likely to do some serious damage to a woman than vice versa. obv there are a billion examples that could be used to counter this, but nevertheless true.

also, the specific example which we are talking about involves a large, musclebound man, frequently cast in tough guy roles, who one would not think could easily be harmed by ms wade. this is why this situation is specifically and particularly funny.

― barbarian cities (jaybob3005), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:55 (nineteen years ago)

But such attitudes only reinforce violence and discrimination against women. Complete dud IMO.

― salexander / sofia (salexander), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:57 (nineteen years ago)

but this was ross kemp. and rebekah wade.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:58 (nineteen years ago)

So if, say, Woody Allen punched Lucy Lawless in the mouth, that would be specifically and particularly funny also?

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Thursday, 3 November 2005 12:59 (nineteen years ago)

Skipping 107 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Will she be sacked then?

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Thursday, 3 November 2005 17:28 (nineteen years ago)

It was not clear if the incidents were linked.

Would be utterly spiffing if they were tho, what?

― Oh No, It's Dadaismus (Dada), Thursday, 3 November 2005 17:28 (nineteen years ago)

Will she be sacked then?

She'll be offered a part in Eastenders in "an attempt to revive the dwindling fortunes of BBC's flagship soap"

― Oh No, It's Dadaismus (Dada), Thursday, 3 November 2005 17:29 (nineteen years ago)

In a bizarre twist, it later emerged that McFadden's former partner had also been arrested and then released over an alleged assault on him.

Please tell me it was Lucy Benjamin so we can have a real-life version of Who ~~Shot~~ Slapped Phil? story and him what played Dan ~~(OK, I know his name's Craig Fairbrass but I don't want to appear sad)~~ will end up getting framed for it. Or something.

There's a slaphead joke in there somewhere just waiting to get out as well now.

― ailsa (ailsa), Thursday, 3 November 2005 17:31 (nineteen years ago)

I wonder how the Mirror and Star will deal with this tomorrow

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Thursday, 3 November 2005 17:33 (nineteen years ago)

Redheads and Baldies don't mix

― Oh No, It's Dadaismus (Dada), Thursday, 3 November 2005 17:33 (nineteen years ago)

Grant was shagging Phil when they were discovered by Wade, or so I hear.

― stet (stet), Thursday, 3 November 2005 18:48 (nineteen years ago)

Radio 4 news also going for the Bizarre Twist, Not Known If Linked angle. OK, I can't help it, I am laughing about this story now.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Thursday, 3 November 2005 18:57 (nineteen years ago)

I LOVE A MAN IN UNIFORM REVEALS TV'S PHIL

http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/840000/images/_841499_ross_kemp150.jpg

― Patchouli Clark (noodle vague), Thursday, 3 November 2005 19:10 (nineteen years ago)

Where's Suzy? She always has the lowdown on these meeja types.

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Thursday, 3 November 2005 19:23 (nineteen years ago)

this is a publicity stunt, clearly

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 3 November 2005 19:29 (nineteen years ago)

Br0wn crashed my friend P4t F1tzg3r4ld's indictments last week and did not bother speaking to him - rude cow - he just stuck to his three useless artworld rentamates in the corner until the freebies ran out. I simply must phone up T1m Russ3rt to ask him about his testimony there! Br0wn has a history of snubs - after all, I'd known K4tr1n4 since she was a mid-level storm.

― _, Thursday, 3 November 2005 19:38 (nineteen years ago)

I was in such a bad mood before I read this thread.

― Michael A Neuman (Ferg), Thursday, 3 November 2005 20:59 (nineteen years ago)

One of my sister's friends has been in Eastenders recently and his sister works in telly and they are not surprised, she says.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Thursday, 3 November 2005 22:09 (nineteen years ago)

Ha ha - The Sun have put put the Steve McFadden story on page 1.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 3 November 2005 22:15 (nineteen years ago)

That'll be the first time he's been on top of Ross Kemp this week then.

― Patchouli Clark (noodle vague), Thursday, 3 November 2005 23:04 (nineteen years ago)

Isn't Steve McFadden married/betrothed to the lassie from Eastenders who shot him? Ouch!

― scotstvo (scotstvo), Friday, 4 November 2005 00:57 (nineteen years ago)

was - i think that broked some time back

anyway... WTFFinfF!?!!!!!!eleven

― Britain's Obtusest Shepherd (Alan), Friday, 4 November 2005 08:36 (nineteen years ago)

Someone I know used to go out with one of the actors on Eastenders (a major character) and she reported that Ross Kemp was lovely and everyone really liked him and was sad when he left. The same was not said of Steve McFadden, or his missus-at-the-time. Apparently they used to row all the time and really piss everybody off because they acted like it was their show and no-one elses.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Friday, 4 November 2005 09:05 (nineteen years ago)

even the uber-PC zoe williams found it funny. next time we have one of these things, can we just have it on record that we're all against domestic violence? ok thanks.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Friday, 4 November 2005 09:55 (nineteen years ago)

Soap hardman beaten by ex
And Ender bruv had a bit of bovver as well

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2005510327,00.html

Cops go to
Ross row

BRUV 2

EASTENDERS hardman Ross Kemp was caught up in a real-life drama yesterday when police turned up at his home in the small hours.

Ross, who has won millions of new viewers after returning to the soap as Grant Mitchell, opened the door to find four officers on his front step.

The cops said they were investigating an allegation that he had been assaulted by his wife Rebekah Wade, who is editor of The Sun.

Ms Wade, 37, was arrested at the house in Battersea, South London, and taken to a nearby police station.

Rebekah and Ross ...
'fuss about nothing'

She was held for eight hours before being released without any charge or a caution.

Ms Wade, who became Sun editor at the beginning of 2003, was not even interviewed by police during her stay at the station.

Ross, 41 — also the star of ITV’s hit series Ultimate Force about the SAS — did not sustain any injuries.

A cut to his lip which was reported by news agencies had in fact been sustained during filming.

Ms Wade was also not hurt during the incident which was described as an “old-fashioned row” between a married couple.

The couple, who wed three years ago, had returned to their home together at 3am after attending a birthday party.

Earlier Ms Wade had also seen fallen Cabinet Minister David Blunkett who had quit as Work and Pensions Secretary in the morning.

As soon as she was released from police custody, Ms Wade returned to The Sun’s offices at Wapping, East London, to mastermind production of today’s newspaper.

Last night she said: “It was just a silly row which got out of hand.”

Ross said: “It was a lot of fuss about nothing.”

― Frogm@n Henry, Friday, 4 November 2005 10:20 (nineteen years ago)

Latest rumour: Wade came home to find Kemp in compromising situation with his "lifelong friend" Guy Black (Michael Howard's press secretary).

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 4 November 2005 11:36 (nineteen years ago)

guy black was formerly involved in the whole prince charles butler-rape scenario, i think.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Friday, 4 November 2005 11:37 (nineteen years ago)

He was.

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 4 November 2005 11:40 (nineteen years ago)

Actually, make that "He was?"

I thought that rung a bell but now I can't find anything saying that. But I'm going to stop looking cause this is all a bit sick.

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 4 November 2005 11:45 (nineteen years ago)

Congrats for the Mirror on their headline, Bish Bash Bosh.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 4 November 2005 12:05 (nineteen years ago)

Bish Bash Bosh?

That's very poor.

― Come Back Johnny B (Johnney B), Friday, 4 November 2005 12:38 (nineteen years ago)

The Kemp -> POW link:

Together, they are reckoned to have become one of Britain's most influential media couples since marrying in 2002, and count leading figures in the political and media establishment among their friends.
These include Guy Black, press secretary to Michael Howard, the Tory leader. Black is a childhood friend of Kemp and they remain close.

He and his partner Mark Boland, the Prince of Wales's press secretary, have been on holiday with Wade and Kemp.

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Friday, 4 November 2005 12:46 (nineteen years ago)

The friend added: “After they split up they had an agreement that Angela could stay in the house, but would not go into the garage. Steve popped in on Tuesday and found Angela in there rifling through his personal stuff.

OI, GEH AWWT OF ME CAR LOT, SON.

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 4 November 2005 14:18 (nineteen years ago)

oh, i think guy black worked for the press complaints commission, and there was something complex linking him more closely to the POW.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Friday, 4 November 2005 14:24 (nineteen years ago)

Who is this black guy you're all on about?

― Oh No, It's Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 4 November 2005 14:27 (nineteen years ago)

one year passes...

Ross Kemp at the Baftas:

Ex-EastEnders star Ross Kemp was unrepentant about winning best factual series ahead of Stephen Fry's documentary on manic depression and family history programme Who Do You Think You Are?

"We've been shot at," he said of his show, which profiled gangs around the world.

"We've been in prisons where people are raped on a regular basis. I've been on my own on a number of occasions with people who are multiple murderers.

"I interviewed a man who'd shot 16 people through the head before his 10th birthday."

And to celebrate the recognition for his work, he was "definitely going to get smashed" after the ceremony, he quipped.

― William Bloody Swygart, Monday, 21 May 2007 22:51 (eighteen years ago)

RIP. Heaven needed a man who could get beaten up by an eight stone woman.

― Dom Passantino, Monday, 21 May 2007 22:55 (eighteen years ago)

He didn't want to live in a world without Kellogg's Fruit and Fibre.

― Noodle Vague, Monday, 21 May 2007 23:11 (eighteen years ago)

You're thinking of Angus Deayton.

― Dom Passantino, Monday, 21 May 2007 23:14 (eighteen years ago)

No, I believe he didn't want to live in a world without coked-up hookers.

― Noodle Vague, Monday, 21 May 2007 23:18 (eighteen years ago)

God bless Youtube

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EyQ7tiJw3sE

― Noodle Vague, Monday, 21 May 2007 23:20 (eighteen years ago)

two years pass...

http://img190.imageshack.us/img190/8545/cheekysquashedkemp.jpg

http://kempfolds.blogspot.com/

― James Mitchell, Sunday, 26 July 2009 12:34 (sixteen years ago)

WOW

― I can't make my face turn into a heart (Scik Mouthy), Sunday, 26 July 2009 12:55 (sixteen years ago)

That is awesome.

― ailsa, Sunday, 26 July 2009 12:58 (sixteen years ago)

I smell a "Best Original Concept" award coming up at whatever stupid awards they give to blogs.

― Skeevy Wonder (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 26 July 2009 12:58 (sixteen years ago)

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2484/3727293065_c89c1dd798.jpg?v=1247784884

― the evil spawn of maxwell from big brother (a hoy hoy), Sunday, 26 July 2009 12:58 (sixteen years ago)

Thank god somebody re-upped this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8bsApDcW1ng

― Skeevy Wonder (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 26 July 2009 13:01 (sixteen years ago)

Screen grab it, print it, fold it.

― I can't make my face turn into a heart (Scik Mouthy), Sunday, 26 July 2009 13:07 (sixteen years ago)

ten years pass...

https://i2-prod.walesonline.co.uk/article17538210.ece/ALTERNATES/s615b/0_rosskempPNG.png

https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/tv/news/ross-kemp-spice-cannabis-vape-hmp-belmarsh-prison-documentary-itv-a9276276.html

― Frozen Mug (Tom D.), Friday, 10 January 2020 12:38 (five years ago)

https://thehooksite.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ross4.jpg

― Frozen Mug (Tom D.), Friday, 10 January 2020 12:40 (five years ago)

When your hobby becomes your job

― The Masked Zinger (Noodle Vague), Friday, 10 January 2020 12:58 (five years ago)

tbf to Kemp I look much the same most mornings

― Frozen Mug (Tom D.), Friday, 10 January 2020 12:59 (five years ago)

six months pass...

He's back.

https://i1.wp.com/metro.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Screen-Shot-2020-08-03-at-20.33.01-fc11.png

https://metro.co.uk/2020/08/03/ross-kemp-reveals-swollen-lips-stung-wasps-jokes-look-like-mick-jagger-13078939/

― Sonny Shamrock (Tom D.), Tuesday, 4 August 2020 21:22 (five years ago)

Sometimes I’d review the third episode with an actor – no director present.

On the occasion of the uniform episode, I’d invited Ross Kemp.

I gave him sugared coffee and my most comfortable chair. I turned the TV towards him so the screen wouldn’t flare with the sun finding gaps in the BBC blinds.

We watched in parallel and, apart from my scribbling and his laboured breathing, in silence.

A silence broken as the scissors sliced the khaki.

For a moment, I thought the sound guys had gone overboard with stereo effects. But no - in my right ear I had Grant sobbing on the marital bed and in my left ear Ross sobbing in my comfortable chair.

The actor had been overwhelmed by his own performance.

“Am I really as good I as I think I am?” he asked, shaking the tears from his big round eyes.

― boxedjoy, Thursday, 6 August 2020 10:28 (five years ago)

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