ONE OF MY DAUGHTER'S FRIENDS INVITED ME TO HER 18th BIRTHDAY PARTY!

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She said that she has a present "FOR ME"

Should I go??

What could it be?

― Mr Adolph bin Streisand (Mr_Adolph_bin_Streisand), Thursday, 3 November 2005 14:53 (twenty years ago)

How's the fast food job?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 3 November 2005 14:56 (twenty years ago)

don't let her corner you in the pantry, is all i'd say*.

*unless you're single and a bit filthy obv

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Thursday, 3 November 2005 14:57 (twenty years ago)

Go! Make sure you show up naked and erect.

― Dan (American Booty) Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 3 November 2005 14:58 (twenty years ago)

You have to rely on her friends to get invited to your daughter's 18th birthday party?

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 3 November 2005 15:05 (twenty years ago)

Reread the sentence, M.

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 3 November 2005 15:06 (twenty years ago)

It could involve rose petals a la American Beauty. Go and find out!

― salexander / sofia (salexander), Thursday, 3 November 2005 15:12 (twenty years ago)

M's parsing of the sentence is technically 'correct'.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Thursday, 3 November 2005 15:17 (twenty years ago)

Yes.

(I don't quite know what I'm saying yes to, there)

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 3 November 2005 15:21 (twenty years ago)

this may lead to an intergenerational sex act, which i find amusing

― _, Thursday, 3 November 2005 15:22 (twenty years ago)

it's spelt 'AROUSING'

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Thursday, 3 November 2005 15:23 (twenty years ago)

if she has a tattoo on her back, you're garanteed a sex romp in the back of her hummer. we all know that tattooed girls are sluts.

― Nathalie, the Queen of Frock 'n' Fall (stevie nixed), Thursday, 3 November 2005 15:25 (twenty years ago)

Go dressed in the fashions of the day for young people. You don't want to stand out!

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 3 November 2005 15:27 (twenty years ago)

heh, 'hummer'

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Thursday, 3 November 2005 15:27 (twenty years ago)

better than a mini.

― Nathalie, the Queen of Frock 'n' Fall (stevie nixed), Thursday, 3 November 2005 15:29 (twenty years ago)

potential comedic goldmine- posting a jpg of the lolita book cover or, failing that, movie poster

― _, Thursday, 3 November 2005 15:29 (twenty years ago)

http://www.hummerlimo.com/images/hummlimo2.jpg

― Nathalie, the Queen of Frock 'n' Fall (stevie nixed), Thursday, 3 November 2005 15:29 (twenty years ago)

also, 300 posts of sex puns

― _, Thursday, 3 November 2005 15:29 (twenty years ago)

1. bum 'er in a hummer

― g-kit (g-kit), Thursday, 3 November 2005 15:30 (twenty years ago)

dude make sure you attend - you dont want to BLOW HER OFF

― _, Thursday, 3 November 2005 15:31 (twenty years ago)

*Insert mandatory 10+ posts making bad puns about "blow her off"*

― salexander / sofia (salexander), Thursday, 3 November 2005 15:32 (twenty years ago)

excelsior thread at full readiness for influx of trayce pastes

― _, Thursday, 3 November 2005 15:32 (twenty years ago)

good one sofia i didnt think of that

― _, Thursday, 3 November 2005 15:33 (twenty years ago)

can you also explain who the "mods" were and if edison singlehandedly invented the light bulb?

― _, Thursday, 3 November 2005 15:34 (twenty years ago)

DNFTT can't you take a joke?

― salexander / sofia (salexander), Thursday, 3 November 2005 15:35 (twenty years ago)

wait, someone could make bad puns about the phrase "blow her off"?

― _, Thursday, 3 November 2005 15:36 (twenty years ago)

Cast of The State to prom

― Hurting (Hurting), Thursday, 3 November 2005 15:37 (twenty years ago)

Is "Paul Banks" some sort of clue here?

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 3 November 2005 15:37 (twenty years ago)

She actually has some 'kanji' characters tattooed on her lower back.

Am I fucked?

― Mr Adolph bin Streisand (Mr_Adolph_bin_Streisand), Thursday, 3 November 2005 15:38 (twenty years ago)

i imagine she would be really bummed out about being blown off.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Thursday, 3 November 2005 15:39 (twenty years ago)

a trillion xposts Well how come you have detailed knowledge about what I post anyway? FFS get one sense of humour. It wasn't even a personal comment directed at you -- just an observation about the general ILX patterns of responses.

― salexander / sofia (salexander), Thursday, 3 November 2005 15:39 (twenty years ago)

I imagine she's hoping to have sexual intercourse with you.

xpost

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 3 November 2005 15:40 (twenty years ago)

Still better than having Benji tattooed on her back, Adolph, no?

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 3 November 2005 15:40 (twenty years ago)

yes my "detailed knowledge" of 2 threads still on new answers which i looked at yesterday and where you missed the point really smugly?

― _, Thursday, 3 November 2005 15:41 (twenty years ago)

matt otm

― _, Thursday, 3 November 2005 15:41 (twenty years ago)

It wasn't being smug, only responding to others. Anyway if you knew anything about me -- I am not a smug person. At least I don't deliberately make offensive comments like you seem to enjoy doing.

― salexander / sofia (salexander), Thursday, 3 November 2005 15:44 (twenty years ago)

perhaps you would like a shovel?

― g-kit (g-kit), Thursday, 3 November 2005 15:46 (twenty years ago)

excuse me for not knowing you well enough to enjoy your clueless explanations of other ppls jokes

― _, Thursday, 3 November 2005 15:47 (twenty years ago)

I NEVER did that! Anyway this has deteriorated into a stupid petty argument, so am withdrawing to do some study. Peace?

― salexander / sofia (salexander), Thursday, 3 November 2005 15:49 (twenty years ago)

Fetch me the 20 gauge, James. There seems to be a lot of snipe about this morning.

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 3 November 2005 15:49 (twenty years ago)

who is James? please say your real-life butler.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Thursday, 3 November 2005 15:51 (twenty years ago)

http://www.popbiol.ebc.uu.se/images/firstpage/snipe.jpg

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 3 November 2005 15:51 (twenty years ago)

i thought he meant james blount

― _, Thursday, 3 November 2005 15:52 (twenty years ago)

Gameskeeper, stevem, gameskeeper.

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 3 November 2005 15:55 (twenty years ago)

Maybe your daughter stole her boyfriend and she's looking to get revenge by destroying her family, your marriage and all trust she will ever have in the opposite sex forever and ever amen. Did you stop to think of that?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 3 November 2005 15:56 (twenty years ago)

I don't think he got past the 18 yr old in her birthday suit.

― Come Back Johnny B (Johnney B), Thursday, 3 November 2005 15:58 (twenty years ago)

No, he just wants to squirt his sperm all over her nekkid bod, bro.

― Nathalie, the Queen of Frock 'n' Fall (stevie nixed), Thursday, 3 November 2005 16:01 (twenty years ago)

Dude, run the fuck away, find some barely legal porn or whatever, develop tennis elbow, and don't even consider it.

While technically legal, there is such a thing as the appearance of impropriety that is almost as hard to shake as a criminal record. Imagine what your daughter would say when she found out, yo.

― Big Loud Mountain Ape (Big Loud Mountain Ape), Thursday, 3 November 2005 17:02 (twenty years ago)

― Mr Adolph bin Streisand (Mr_Adolph_bin_Streisand), Thursday, 3 November 2005 17:02 (twenty years ago)

http://www.crackingre.com/htdocs/crackingre/secure/1.2Infant/tombirthday.jpg

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Thursday, 3 November 2005 17:20 (twenty years ago)

is that phoebe gluckner

― _, Thursday, 3 November 2005 17:22 (twenty years ago)

i like how after all that big mountain ape actually answered the question seriously

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 3 November 2005 20:46 (twenty years ago)

If you show up in Hammerpants she's going to put her bra back on.

― Dan (Helping You Out) Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 3 November 2005 20:52 (twenty years ago)

Where's Dan when you need someone to enquire about the whereabouts of the Tittiez?

― Patchouli Clark (noodle vague), Thursday, 3 November 2005 20:53 (twenty years ago)

Oh, there you are.

― Patchouli Clark (noodle vague), Thursday, 3 November 2005 20:53 (twenty years ago)

I have been made fun of for my sincerity in the past.

Seriously, though....run and find the porn.

― Big Loud Mountain Ape (Big Loud Mountain Ape), Thursday, 3 November 2005 21:37 (twenty years ago)

And fuck off for being amused at my sincere, concerned response.

― Big Loud Mountain Ape (Big Loud Mountain Ape), Thursday, 3 November 2005 21:45 (twenty years ago)

Also make sure that you get really good, clear shots of your face when you videotape the encounter.

― Dan (Motto Of The Boy Scouts) Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 3 November 2005 21:46 (twenty years ago)

Or I could just be tired....sorry about the f-bomb. Will this day not end?

― Big Loud Mountain Ape (Big Loud Mountain Ape), Thursday, 3 November 2005 21:53 (twenty years ago)

How does your daughter feel about the idea of you going?

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Thursday, 3 November 2005 21:54 (twenty years ago)

did she brush your arm with her firm t1ts on purpose, her hard nips showing through the thin material of her white tee shirt when she made the invite? a lot of really wonderful and classy tales from the world of free internet erotica begin just this way! they always seem to end okay. and in some the daughter character even gets in on the action, so watch out bro!

― andrew m. (andrewmorgan), Thursday, 3 November 2005 22:41 (twenty years ago)

I was just wondering the other day why C*lum has been so quiet lately...

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 3 November 2005 22:44 (twenty years ago)

so this c*alum character. he as funny and not-serious as me?

― andrew m. (andrewmorgan), Thursday, 3 November 2005 22:46 (twenty years ago)

(Er in case it wasnt obvious I meant the OP)

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 3 November 2005 22:47 (twenty years ago)

My daughter doesn't have that much of an opinion.

She's 16 and wants to get a lower-back tattoo, fer chrissakes.

MABS-D,
SIGNING OFF

― Mr Adolph bin Streisand (Mr_Adolph_bin_Streisand), Thursday, 3 November 2005 22:56 (twenty years ago)

i like how after all that alelx in nyc actually answered the question seriously

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 4 November 2005 02:33 (twenty years ago)

Maybe your daughter would like to join the two of you?

― Are You Nomar? (miloaukerman), Friday, 4 November 2005 02:46 (twenty years ago)

a line has been crossed

― Binjominia (Brilhante), Friday, 4 November 2005 02:47 (twenty years ago)

maybe she *just* wants to give a gift, fer crissakes. it could be a coffee maker, or a CD, or something. completely platonic.

i say go and get the gift. if its trouble get outta there.

― Grell (Grell), Friday, 4 November 2005 03:05 (twenty years ago)

i say go and get the gif

― Its morph 'em to pun cute (Matt Chesnut), Friday, 4 November 2005 03:30 (twenty years ago)

Didn't you kill yourself a few months ago?

will this be zombie sex?

― Fetchboy (Felcher), Friday, 4 November 2005 03:30 (twenty years ago)

The Federal Bureau of Investigations has been alterted to this thread.

― witness, Wednesday, 16 November 2005 08:31 (twenty years ago)

Yes, I bet there's a bunch of pervs working there.

― Nathalie is in Da Base II Dark (stevie nixed), Wednesday, 16 November 2005 08:34 (twenty years ago)

DILF DILF DILF

― phil-two (phil-two), Wednesday, 16 November 2005 08:39 (twenty years ago)

JELLUS MUCH?
(821k)

― Mr Adolph bin Streisand (Mr_Adolph_bin_Streisand), Wednesday, 16 November 2005 12:29 (twenty years ago)

two months pass...

how was the party?

― phil-two (phil-two), Sunday, 12 February 2006 09:33 (twenty years ago)

http://www.hqp.free.fr/mena/mena3/Mena_Suvari-American_Beauty-1.jpg

― The Brainwasher (Twilight), Sunday, 12 February 2006 20:22 (twenty years ago)

http://www.moviemantz.com/review_shots/amerbeauty.jpg

― The Brainwasher (Twilight), Sunday, 12 February 2006 20:25 (twenty years ago)

RAPE THAT SHIT

― Jimmy Mod (I myself am lethal at 100 -110dB) (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Sunday, 12 February 2006 20:26 (twenty years ago)

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