Which is easier - organising a piss-up in a brewery or shooting fish in a barrel?

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I think shooting fish in a barrel would be easier. A piss-up is surprisingly hard to organise in a brewery. One is not ordinarily allowed to drink on the job, as there are health and safety issues with machinery, so it would have to be an illicit after-hours operation for one thing. And who would come to that, when they can do the same thing legally in a bar?

― moley, Sunday, 6 November 2005 08:11 (twenty years ago)

But if you can class brew-pubs as breweries for the purpose of the aphorism, it's really straightforward!

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Sunday, 6 November 2005 08:14 (twenty years ago)

i've never quite understood why one would WANT to shoot fish in a barrel.

― bird-person-person (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 6 November 2005 08:16 (twenty years ago)

ihttp://www.depressingcomics.com/assets/barrel_man.gif

But my pyjamas are in the wash!

― Pangolino 2, Sunday, 6 November 2005 08:42 (twenty years ago)

Oh, crap - I can't seem to post images at all anymore.

― Pangolino 2, Sunday, 6 November 2005 08:42 (twenty years ago)

it really depends on what you're using to shoot the fish. and what kind of fish they are.

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Sunday, 6 November 2005 08:43 (twenty years ago)

They are carp, and you're using a .38, obviously.

― moley, Sunday, 6 November 2005 09:00 (twenty years ago)

"I purposely didn't do the Harry Potter movie because for me, that was shooting ducks in a barrel. It's just a slam dunk. It's just like withdrawing a billion dollars and putting it into your personal bank account. There's no challenge."
-Steven Spielberg

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Sunday, 6 November 2005 09:17 (twenty years ago)

"also someone beat me to the rights"

― bird-person-person (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 6 November 2005 09:19 (twenty years ago)

Yes, Harry Potter is a bit of a sitting fish.

― moley, Sunday, 6 November 2005 10:24 (twenty years ago)

http://www.printsofjapan.com/Hokusai_barrel_maker4.jpg

― ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!, Sunday, 6 November 2005 10:39 (twenty years ago)

Shooting fish in a barrel involves more rocket science than organising a piss-up in a brewery, hence the latter must be easier - at least according to those who would like us all to think that rocket science is some kind of big deal

― Harthill Services (Neil Willett), Sunday, 6 November 2005 11:18 (twenty years ago)

i'd rather shoot pissheads in a brewery.

― dog latin (dog latin), Sunday, 6 November 2005 11:39 (twenty years ago)

And piss in a barrel.

― JimD (JimD), Sunday, 6 November 2005 13:05 (twenty years ago)

Taking candy from a baby is easier than both of them.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Sunday, 6 November 2005 18:13 (twenty years ago)

matt dc wins

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Sunday, 6 November 2005 18:17 (twenty years ago)

Right, so matt dc is right. All of you, go and take candy from a baby now. You can't? Exactly. It's much harder to find a baby (a) with candy - that's candy, not a milk bottle or a rusk or a soggy biscuit - who is not in the company of a defensive parent who will say 'What the hell are you doing? Get away from my baby you creep!'. So one of the hardest things to do is to take candy from a baby. Shooting fish in a barrel is much easier, as is falling off a log.

― moley, Sunday, 6 November 2005 19:46 (twenty years ago)

Shooting fish in a barrel is REALLY HARD though.

1. It is a barrel. It is opaque.
2. You're failing to take into account i) how big the barrel is, ii) what you are shooting it with, iii) how many fish are in the barrel. Shooting one goldfish in a huge barrel with a bow and arrow could prove pretty tricky. Harder than shooting a barrell full of mackrel with an M16, anyway.

I can offer no arguments against falling off a log.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Sunday, 6 November 2005 19:54 (twenty years ago)

Little-known fact about me #427 - at university in Exeter I did organise a real actual piss-up in a brewery. Okay, the brewery had since been converted into student accommodation but it still stands.

I have also organised a night with my friends at the Vibe Bar, London's Trendy Brick Lane, which is also in an brewery.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Sunday, 6 November 2005 19:56 (twenty years ago)

Pie is easy, you can buy pre-rolled pastry sheets and fillings in a can.

― estela (estela), Sunday, 6 November 2005 20:02 (twenty years ago)

I think you'll find the official phrase is "easy as ð". Which isn't all that easy.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Sunday, 6 November 2005 20:06 (twenty years ago)

Argh. That was supposed to be the number pi. See how hard this is?!

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Sunday, 6 November 2005 20:06 (twenty years ago)

estela has the ball at this point. Pie is easy. And delicious of course. Pi, on the other hand, is as hard as Chinese math, as Turbo B once said.

What do you picture when it comes to fish in a barrel? Two or three fish swimming briskly in circles in water? Or a barrel with no water, stuffed with fish? Presumably, the latter is easier.

― moley, Sunday, 6 November 2005 20:12 (twenty years ago)

Results 1 - 10 of about 7,010,000 for easy as pi. (0.31 seconds)

Results 1 - 10 of about 12,900,000 for easy as pie [definition]. (0.07 seconds)

it's a clear victory for steak and cheese in a pastry case.

(xpost)

moley I usually picture a large marlin, a smallish barrel, and an uzi.

― estela (estela), Sunday, 6 November 2005 20:18 (twenty years ago)

Well, that's easy, as long as you don't have to be the one to put the marlin in the barrel in the first place.

― moley, Sunday, 6 November 2005 20:26 (twenty years ago)

Piss-ups in breweries might be really really difficult to organise, given such events' inevitable tendencies towards disorganisation.

And what of the qualms and anxieties arising from the shooting of enbarrelled fish? What if friendship had flowered twixt gunman and grouper?

― Harthill Services (Neil Willett), Sunday, 6 November 2005 23:38 (twenty years ago)

I have, as a matter of fact, had a pissup at a brewery! And not one that has a pub attached - it is literally a brewery (the very fine Mountain Goat brewery, in fact). So if they can do it, it verily can be done.

Dunno if it was *easy* mind you.

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 7 November 2005 00:16 (twenty years ago)

And what's harder — brain surgery or rocket science?

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Monday, 7 November 2005 11:17 (twenty years ago)

Anyone who's watched CSI will be aware how quickly bullets slow down when you fire them into water, so we presumably need to have a barrel with fish but no water for the execution to be effective. However, as the fish in a dry barrel are either dead or dying, we come up against a philosophical brick wall: why would one shoot fish in a barrel? Therefore I posit that the thinking man would be so overcome with the paradox of killing that which is already dying that he wouldn't be able to go through with it.

So I'm siding with the log posse too. Indeed, I have fallen off several with little to no effort myself.

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 7 November 2005 11:26 (twenty years ago)

It's also worth debating who is happier: a pig in shit, or Larry?

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 7 November 2005 11:27 (twenty years ago)

A clam.

― estela (estela), Monday, 7 November 2005 11:29 (twenty years ago)

I suspect a sandboy might have something to say about that!

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 7 November 2005 11:40 (twenty years ago)

It seems to me that some general rules need to be established to ensure a fair comparison, e.g.

1) All necessary props and locations are supplied (e.g. fish in barrel, brewery).
2) All financial transactions (bribery, hiring someone else to do it, etc) are strictly forbidden.

Given these rules, it should be far easier to hit a cow's arse with a banjo than to score in a brothel.

― The Vintner's Lipogram (OleM), Monday, 7 November 2005 15:01 (twenty years ago)

I have taken candy from a baby (on Halloween). It was quite easy.

― tokyo nursery school: afternoon session (rosemary), Monday, 7 November 2005 15:16 (twenty years ago)

Falling off a log is a piece of piss, but is it as easy as ABC? Or 123?

I've attended several brewery piss-ups. Minimal organising was required.
I've never shot a fish (barrel or no barrel), but I really want to.

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Monday, 7 November 2005 15:19 (twenty years ago)

Results 1 - 10 of about 12,900,000 for easy as pie [definition]. (0.07 seconds)
Results 1 - 10 of about 3,141,592,654 for easy as pi. (0.31 seconds)

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 7 November 2005 15:26 (twenty years ago)

In an ILX first (possibly), I'm de-excelsiorising the following exchange:

Ducks in a barrel now? What's so wrong with fish?
-- mark grout (mark.grou...), November 7th, 2005.

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Yeah actually that doesn't make any sense does it, how would you get and keep the ducks in the barrel? It sounds kind of complex.
-- Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyza...), November 7th, 2005.

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GET ONE LID
-- Huk-L (handsomishbo...), November 7th, 2005.

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I think it's like the monkeys in a barrel, you have to keep the top on so that they don't escape. Just cram them all in there and seal them in. Then, you know, shoot them. Through the barrel.
Or maybe he just confused "shooting fish a barrel" with "keeping your ducks in a row."

-- n/a (nu...), November 7th, 2005.

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If you have to go through all that trouble, why not just shoot them while you're shoving them in the barrel? Just like grab the fuckers by the neck and pop, you're a goner.
-- Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyza...), November 7th, 2005.

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Or just seal the barrel, and the ducks will suffocate, and then you don't even feel like you killed them. No fuss, no muss.
-- Huk-L (handsomishbo...), November 7th, 2005.

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I think the urge to shoot ducks in a barrel is the same urge that drives a man to fill an empty bedroom with 400 cubic feet of Styrofoam packing peanuts, or enter a hot dog eating contest. Sure, it's stupid and makes a big mess but there's something inexplicably satisfying about it.
-- n/a (nu...), November 7th, 2005.

― moley, Monday, 7 November 2005 21:58 (twenty years ago)

The location of the piss up is all important, it has struck me. A piss up in a brewery in Queensland, Australia, would be a lot easier to organise than in a brewery in, say, Munich, Germany.

― moley, Monday, 7 November 2005 22:25 (twenty years ago)

Pissing up is pretty easy if you're a dude. Just point and release. Doesn't matter where you are.

― n/a (Nick A.), Monday, 7 November 2005 22:54 (twenty years ago)

madder: hatters or cut snakes?

― estela (estela), Monday, 7 November 2005 22:55 (twenty years ago)

i misread thread title as "orgasming a piss-up." naturally i had to find out what that meant. orgasms and piss-ups being two of my favorite things.

― andrew m. (andrewmorgan), Monday, 7 November 2005 22:58 (twenty years ago)

my poor little post, sandwiched between vulgarities.

― estela (estela), Monday, 7 November 2005 23:01 (twenty years ago)

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Monday, 7 November 2005 23:07 (twenty years ago)

Given these rules, it should be far easier to hit a cow's arse with a banjo than to score in a brothel

ah: but with or without a ten-pound note wrapped around your chopper?

i'm surprised, from a purely sociolinguistic point of view, that nobody has further explored the anomaly that is "a piece of piss": to wit, surely a piece of liquid would have to be frozen? the time from micturation to freezing point, not to mention the associated hassle of transporting the fluid to and from the freezer, would seem to render this an anachronism.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Monday, 7 November 2005 23:54 (twenty years ago)

what if you were to explain to the braumeister that you had to drink all the beer there in order to save the world eh?!
http://www.garnersclassics.com/pics/brew/giant.jpg

― andrew m. (andrewmorgan), Tuesday, 8 November 2005 00:20 (twenty years ago)

one year passes...

You know what? This is one for Mythbusters.

― moley, Friday, 11 May 2007 12:07 (eighteen years ago)

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