Frigid wife asks what I want for b-day. I say BJ. Now she's not speaking to me.

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

http://bbs.fuckedcompany.com/icons/sadbanana.gif

And hoooooooly shit, you shoulda seen the nasty look I got.

http://bbs.fuckedcompany.com/icons/cry.gif

― Mr Adolph bin Streisand (Mr_Adolph_bin_Streisand), Monday, 7 November 2005 20:02 (twenty years ago)

try hookers

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Monday, 7 November 2005 20:04 (twenty years ago)

Why don't you and your daughter's friend have a joint bday party?

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 7 November 2005 20:04 (twenty years ago)

http://funny2.com/henny.htm

― KSTFUNS (Ex Leon), Monday, 7 November 2005 20:05 (twenty years ago)

Think she's mad now? Wait `til she finds out you referred to her as "Frigid Wife" on the internet.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 7 November 2005 20:09 (twenty years ago)

Has she given this wonderful gift in the past?

― andy --, Monday, 7 November 2005 20:13 (twenty years ago)

i feel sorry for any man that only gets a BJ as a "gift". it should be a daily regiment for everyone like it is for me.

― nein Socken (nein Socken), Monday, 7 November 2005 20:17 (twenty years ago)

Maybe all along she's just been scared of your massive, lustrous cock.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 7 November 2005 20:19 (twenty years ago)

And yet, oddly enough, she contributes only about $200 a month to the household, hasn't cleaned SHIT in years, cooks maybe 1/3 of the time, and splits child duties equally.

It's a fucking BLOW JOB. 10-15 minutes MAX. Small price to pay for my staying loyal through bouts of sexlessness that typically last 9-15 months each.

― Mr Adolph bin Streisand (Mr_Adolph_bin_Streisand), Monday, 7 November 2005 20:20 (twenty years ago)

Maybe you shouldn't be married to each other.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Monday, 7 November 2005 20:21 (twenty years ago)

It's a fucking BLOW JOB. 10-15 minutes MAX.

Move that decimal point over one skooch leftways, sir.

― David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 7 November 2005 20:21 (twenty years ago)

Sucks to be you, Adolph.

― I do feel guilty for getting any perverse amusement out of it (Rock Hardy), Monday, 7 November 2005 20:25 (twenty years ago)

Maybe her lips are tired from sucking a more worthy cock.

― recovering optimist (Royal Bed Bouncer), Monday, 7 November 2005 20:26 (twenty years ago)

Like this Max fellow, you mentioned.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Monday, 7 November 2005 20:28 (twenty years ago)

too bad you didn't post the animated banana guy gif, adolph.
love that peanutbutterjelly dance.

― nein Socken (nein Socken), Monday, 7 November 2005 20:33 (twenty years ago)

recovering optimist OTM

― bird-person-person (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 7 November 2005 20:33 (twenty years ago)

Adolph, I think we need to talk.

― Frigid Wife, Monday, 7 November 2005 20:34 (twenty years ago)

Like this Max fellow, you mentioned.

-- Huk-L (handsomishbo...), November 7th, 2005.

What are you, a bad stand-up comedian?

― Masked Gazza, Monday, 7 November 2005 20:35 (twenty years ago)

yes :(

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Monday, 7 November 2005 20:39 (twenty years ago)

Aw ;- )

― Masked Gazza, Monday, 7 November 2005 20:43 (twenty years ago)

This sounds like a female persuasion issue to me.

― estela (estela), Monday, 7 November 2005 20:49 (twenty years ago)

Be careful or your wife might come to the conclusion that you should no longer have any birthdays.

― M. White (Miguelito), Monday, 7 November 2005 20:58 (twenty years ago)

Is Frigid a Swedish name?

― Patchouli Clark (noodle vague), Monday, 7 November 2005 21:04 (twenty years ago)

email her some emoticons. that should bring her around.

― kingfish orange creamsicle (kingfish 2.0), Monday, 7 November 2005 22:09 (twenty years ago)

[:-X C=====8] = [:(]

[:-D ~~C=====8] = [:)]

― Its morph 'em to pun cute (Matt Chesnut), Monday, 7 November 2005 22:14 (twenty years ago)

Say you really wanted this:
http://images-eu.amazon.com/images/P/B0000032MU.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

― General Doinel (Charles McCain), Monday, 7 November 2005 22:17 (twenty years ago)

if you're the type of husband who would start a thread with this title and then go into actual complaints in the middle, i'm guessing that she's not speaking to you for a variety of reasons. i understand wanting a blowjob. fuck, it would be nice to get an all day every day blow job, maybe, but i don't think i'd want one from a "frigid" or "sexless" woman just to appease me.

― firstworldman (firstworldman), Monday, 7 November 2005 23:00 (twenty years ago)

is the bear included in this deal?

http://www.cfhf.net/lyrics/images/bj1.jpg

― zappi (joni), Monday, 7 November 2005 23:01 (twenty years ago)

kinda tacky to bring the money thing into it, no?

― firstworldman (firstworldman), Monday, 7 November 2005 23:03 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, that was where this thread got tacky.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Monday, 7 November 2005 23:08 (twenty years ago)

mr adolf, would you please post the link to the random tacky thread generator you use? it's just so much fun!

― andrew m. (andrewmorgan), Monday, 7 November 2005 23:12 (twenty years ago)

ha! oops. right, but this is marked by a ziggurat like hierarchy of repellant - plateau - repellant - plateau.
maybe his wife is a marxist, doesn't care about your capitalist pig salary, and feels that the workers rightly should control the means of production. thereby, paul, i propose you should organize a union.

― firstworldman (firstworldman), Monday, 7 November 2005 23:13 (twenty years ago)

she hasn't 'cleaned' in years? how can you stand it? do you even still live in the same house?

― log cabin, Monday, 7 November 2005 23:23 (twenty years ago)

paul bankz and scaredy cat should partner-swap

― john p. irrelevant (electricsound), Monday, 7 November 2005 23:56 (twenty years ago)

IOW, MABS = S/F/ IZZZZZZO\/\/N E D!

:oldlol:

― Phillip Kaplan (Baked Bean Teeth), Tuesday, 8 November 2005 00:27 (twenty years ago)

http://www.simpsonscollectors.com/images/archives/wos/kirk_van_houten.jpg

― M. V. (M.V.), Tuesday, 8 November 2005 00:37 (twenty years ago)

"Frigid wife asks what I want for b-day. I say BJ. Now she's not speaking to me."

So your plan worked!

― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Tuesday, 8 November 2005 00:55 (twenty years ago)

Haha they've actually been separated for years, barely speaking when handing off the kids, and finally, she decides to make an effort to break through the thickening layer of ice that's walled them off from each other. She asks him, totally unexpectedly, what he wants for his birthday.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 8 November 2005 00:57 (twenty years ago)

AND HE IS ROB SCHNEIDER

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Tuesday, 8 November 2005 00:58 (twenty years ago)

"Look, 10-15 minutes, max. That's all I'm sayin here."

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 8 November 2005 01:02 (twenty years ago)

"It doesn't even have to be from you; you could just pay. Yes? No?"

― Paul in Santa Cruz (Paul in Santa Cruz), Tuesday, 8 November 2005 02:36 (twenty years ago)

You need to explore your bi-curious side. Pronto.

― kevin says relax (daddy warbuxx), Tuesday, 8 November 2005 03:01 (twenty years ago)

Another wife who doesn't know what the "b" in b-day stands for. So sad!

― I do feel guilty for getting any perverse amusement out of it (Rock Hardy), Tuesday, 8 November 2005 03:07 (twenty years ago)

"staying loyal through bouts of sexlessness"

― 57 7th (calstars), Tuesday, 8 November 2005 03:41 (twenty years ago)

Women have a real problem cock-suckin'. They don't realize that's all they're good for after a certain amount of time once vaginal sex becomes so boring you'd rather jerk off in the shower and avoid her entirely.

Face it, Mr Adolph bin Streisand, if your wife was a man, you'd have kicked her out long ago for being such a whiney, needy, bloodsucking vampire that makes your life almost totally unenjoyable. But, you're married now! She'll get half your shit! She's got a hole you can use once in a while, so you put up with it, but it's fucking ridiculous! $200/month?! Yeah, she needs to start sucking some dick at least! FUCK!

― Man 2 Man, Tuesday, 8 November 2005 04:30 (twenty years ago)

Everyone on this thread needs to watch the Patrice O'Neil comedy special on HBO on demand immediately. He's a jerk and he's not my favorite comedian, but he is 100% correct regarding his take on male/female relationships. In fact, all the comedians are pretty good this month and there's lots of jokes about relationships and blowjobs so watch 'em all. The little Irish guy (I think it's show #59) turns out to be pretty funny after the first 5 or 10 minutes.

― Man 2 Man, Tuesday, 8 November 2005 04:33 (twenty years ago)

I think I've seen your wife's porn site - www.frigidwife.com

― Hurting (Hurting), Tuesday, 8 November 2005 04:34 (twenty years ago)

http://www.sdcd.com/B2B/jsp/app/images/Scans/314054.jpg

― bird-person-person (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 8 November 2005 04:38 (twenty years ago)

"Watch live via webcam as this cold, unappealing housewife lazes about in filth and shares child-rearing duties equally."

― Hurting (Hurting), Tuesday, 8 November 2005 04:39 (twenty years ago)

XPOST HAHA!!!
I have that on vinyl. i got it at a garage sale in a bulk purchase. i dont know why but i just always assumed it was a local band. didn't know anyone else ever heard of them these days.
is it any good? should i give it a listen?

― Fetchboy (Felcher), Tuesday, 8 November 2005 04:41 (twenty years ago)

What will tomorrow bring us?

― Michael F Gill (Michael F Gill), Tuesday, 8 November 2005 04:41 (twenty years ago)

is it any good?

it's decent. you could do worse than to give it a listen or two.

― bird-person-person (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 8 November 2005 04:45 (twenty years ago)

There's nothing wrong with this guy for wanting sexual contact after 9-15 months of living in a a cold, sexless relationship. Wouldn't you? Yeah the cleaning comment was a little petty, but I can understand feeling a bit petty after long enough. Wanting a BJ doesn't make him a pig. His frustration is normal and reasonable, and you don't have to be an asshole like Man 2 Man to think that.

― geez, Tuesday, 8 November 2005 04:46 (twenty years ago)

In fact, Man 2 Man doesn't even have to be an asshole! None of your male buddies would ever be as moody or life-sucking as your wife because if they were, they wouldn't be around any longer. It's a common theme that's existed since the dawn of time. Get over it. It's true. Stop being a pussy.

― Man 2 Man, Tuesday, 8 November 2005 04:55 (twenty years ago)

― 'Twan (miccio), Tuesday, 8 November 2005 04:57 (twenty years ago)

Hmmmm, I think Man 2 Man needs to ask himself "Why do I not inspire the blowing?"

― Orbit (Orbit), Tuesday, 8 November 2005 06:01 (twenty years ago)

"typically lasting 9-15 months each"

Well, any time it's gone longer than 12 months means you didn't go down on her for her birthday, so I guess that all works out kinda fair.

― Craig Gilchrist (Craig Gilchrist), Tuesday, 8 November 2005 09:39 (twenty years ago)

Today, for the first time, I saw a thread and thought "That's a Paul Bankz thread"

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 8 November 2005 09:42 (twenty years ago)

2.5/10

― Matt (Matt), Tuesday, 8 November 2005 09:53 (twenty years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.