Intellidating: rife in London

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Having left three and a half years ago, I enjoy allowing my idea of London life to slip into a seductive fog of unreality.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 08:56 (twenty years ago)

Shoot me now.

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 08:57 (twenty years ago)

"intellectual fora" - brilliant.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 08:58 (twenty years ago)

"institutional fora" oops.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 08:59 (twenty years ago)

What in the world do they think was going on at poetry readings before?

― nabiscothingy, Wednesday, 9 November 2005 08:59 (twenty years ago)

This mania for coining new phrases is unmatched since the 17th Century. I'm off down the coffeehouse.

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 09:02 (twenty years ago)

To meet fellow starbuckaneers?

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 09:12 (twenty years ago)

oh my

― Britain's Obtusest Shepherd (Alan), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 10:24 (twenty years ago)

"If you are an intelligent person in an important position at work, you are not going to hang out in a bar or go speed dating."

what about all us intelligent poor people? to be honest, i think people with proper jobs suffer from not being able to engage in debate, research, etc, during working hours like wot i do.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 10:26 (twenty years ago)

yeah, but you have a girlfriend, so hush up.

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 10:28 (twenty years ago)

girlfriend is such an outdated term!

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 10:29 (twenty years ago)

OH NOES the clever people will not get with the fucking and then where will we be godamnit?!!!

― Britain's Obtusest Shepherd (Alan), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 10:32 (twenty years ago)

i have a friend who is a civil servant; he went speed-dating, unironically, and i dare say he's 'intelligent' and 'important'. but then he doesn't get laid much.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 10:33 (twenty years ago)

yeah i know ppl who speed date and use on-line dating services yada yada.

also: skidmo to thread obv

― Britain's Obtusest Shepherd (Alan), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 10:35 (twenty years ago)

I have interesting friends. I get plenty of intellectual debate.

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 10:38 (twenty years ago)

It is all so hideously difficult."

well, indeed.

― toby (tsg20), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 10:39 (twenty years ago)

yeah but the idea here is to do it with strangers for the intelligent sexx0r afterwards

xpost

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 10:39 (twenty years ago)

I don't want intelligent sex. That sounds awful, like some kind of codeword for creationism. I want dumb dirty animal sex, yeah. Evolution, baby, do it like they do it on the Discovery Channel!

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 10:43 (twenty years ago)

Dating != sex.

Doesn't for me, anyway.

― Come Back Johnny B (Johnney B), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 10:45 (twenty years ago)

Dating is overrated. Can we just skip it and get to the mating?

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 10:46 (twenty years ago)

*hugs johnny b*

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 10:47 (twenty years ago)

intelligent mating

I intelligently mated stevem and several others.

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 10:48 (twenty years ago)

Sorry, you can just make almost anything funny these days by adding "intelligent" as a prefix.

"Theory of Gravity replaced by Intelligent Falling" stylee etc.

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 10:49 (twenty years ago)

yeah but the emphasis in "intelligent mating" in the last post is actually the mating bit, cos it was related to chess.

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 10:54 (twenty years ago)

I play chess stupidly.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 10:55 (twenty years ago)

Terrible violent, imperialistic game. I'm having none of it!

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 10:56 (twenty years ago)

but sexxing is kind of violent and imperialistic too.

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 11:03 (twenty years ago)

Yes, I would like to get violent and imperialistic with the hott Boris J lookylike from upstairs!

Whoops, sorry, wrong thread.

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 11:06 (twenty years ago)

does Boris J play chess?

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 11:07 (twenty years ago)

Stephen Moss's latest assignment involves Chess Boxing, I note from today's G2. IntelliChessBoxidating next please.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 11:11 (twenty years ago)

"You and me baby we got a combined IQ of 344 so let's do it like they do it on top intellectual channel More4"

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 11:12 (twenty years ago)

Excellent. Now will you father my child? Oh yes, and stay home and raise it while you're at it because I'm too busy with my amazing job.

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 11:14 (twenty years ago)

"It really has quite an important effect on people," said Hart who has offered Bob Geldof reading Yeats, Ralph Fiennes on Auden and Roger Moore reciting Kipling.

"The mind is stretched," she added. "People have wept at some of the evenings."

I'm not surprised people wept if they had to listen to Bob Geldof reading Yeats.

― Flyboy (Flyboy), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 11:15 (twenty years ago)

Roger Moore reciting Kipling.

::sniggers uncontrollably::

Sorry, yes, I mean, of course, I was weeping, I was so moved to emotion.

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 11:16 (twenty years ago)

You are not concentrating on what is happening from the navel to the knee -- you are connecting to the gray matter

― Mädchen (Madchen), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 11:20 (twenty years ago)

I had a look at my sister's speed-dating notes at the weekend and it pretty much said:

1. Gay?
2. Gay?
3. Gay?
4. Short
5. Gay?
6. Hairdresser. Gay?

― Mädchen (Madchen), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 11:21 (twenty years ago)

Why would gay men go to a hetero speed dating night? Spite?

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 11:22 (twenty years ago)

don't The Gays have their own speed-dating functions especially for them? xpost

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 11:23 (twenty years ago)

"intellichessboxidating" ha ha ha.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 11:23 (twenty years ago)

Is it really 3 1/2 years since you moved out of London, Alba? Blimey.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 11:24 (twenty years ago)

You are not concentrating on what is happening from the navel to the knee -- you are connecting to the gray matter

-- Mädchen

good point, is she saying that all foot fetishists are stoopid?

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 11:24 (twenty years ago)

None of the people mentioned in that article or involved in the writing of it are intelligent.

― alext (alext), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 11:28 (twenty years ago)

w h auden was fairly intelligent.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 11:28 (twenty years ago)

Is it really 3 1/2 years since you moved out of London, Alba? Blimey.

I know! Blimey and indeed, k-blimey. Twas the lack of intellidating opportunities that drove me away. Perhaps now I'll return.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 11:29 (twenty years ago)

That means it's 3 2/3 years since I moved out of London. Coo.

My sister reckons that speed dating events are full of gay men in denial. I reckon she scares the living daylights out of chaps and the only way they can get rid of her is by pretending to be gay.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 11:32 (twenty years ago)

Just like that TV show...

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 11:35 (twenty years ago)

I forget which one. Maybe Lost.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 11:35 (twenty years ago)

Why is it that I find women who that assume men who don't fancy them must be gay funny, but find men who shout "lesbians!" at women who turn them down just depressing?

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 11:48 (twenty years ago)

cos you're a no good sexualist mang.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 11:53 (twenty years ago)

Er, N., because we live in a sexist society?

― RickyT (RickyT), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 11:53 (twenty years ago)

Skipping 80 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

i want to start an acronymic dating site in which people only talk in acronyms.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:09 (twenty years ago)

(obvious resonse to this deleted)

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:10 (twenty years ago)

oh fuck it

x0x0x ILY ILX OMG A/S/L??

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:11 (twenty years ago)

must have GFCH

― Britain's Obtusest Shepherd (Alan), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:15 (twenty years ago)

What the blinkin' 'eck is a GFCH?

I liked the fact that they made you take a humour test as part of their set up. So now it's official that I have no sense of humour, because nearly every single thing I replied "that's not funny" or "I just don't it". Sigh.

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:22 (twenty years ago)

"Gas Fired Central Heating"

i was amusingly (hem hem) confusing acronyms from flat/house ads with those used in dating ads.

― Britain's Obtusest Shepherd (Alan), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:26 (twenty years ago)

choosing favourite films for a self-styled intellidating site is a seinfeld ep in the making.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:26 (twenty years ago)

I don't pick films that I think will make me seem intelligent. I pick films I like and even own. Even if they are things like Barbarella and Gothic. Oh dear, I'm never going to get any dates through this site, am I?

Maybe I'm doing this all wrong. I'm not picking things where I'm thinking "THIS IS MY PERSONALITY ON DISPLAY!!!" I'm picking things that I know and love.

(The only thing I found even remotely funny on their whole list was Monty Python. I am doomed.)

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:27 (twenty years ago)

BlowJob Monthly and The Good Life

i hear these two publications are to merge early next year, logistics etc.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:29 (twenty years ago)

choosing favourite films for a self-styled intellidating site is a seinfeld ep in the making.

Sounds more like Coupling.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:29 (twenty years ago)

Sounds more like Hollyoaks.

― Come Back Johnny B (Johnney B), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:30 (twenty years ago)

I think I'm going to go and find another thread where it's not all smug marrieds being "funny" about dating sites.

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:30 (twenty years ago)

the crap films and funny list may be effective filters in that probably quite a few people only ticked one or two as well. then it's just a matter of seeing where those choices match up. someone who ticks them all off might not be taken 'seriously' as such.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:32 (twenty years ago)

I'm not smug about being married! Anything but, actually.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:35 (twenty years ago)

well the normally vexed question of 'is this my favourite film/book or the kind of film/book i think is "best"' is even more vexed here. ie if you put your comfort read, you are likely narrowing down the field to other people who like,ooh, tolkien; but if you go too obscure/adult you are kind of pricing yourself out of the market and again narrowing the field. but what does it say if you put 'kafka is my favourite' on a dating site?

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:36 (twenty years ago)

I am confused by it. I know that you are supposed to be representing yourself or your personality through your tastes. But most people (well, maybe not most people, but the kind of people I would like to get to know/date) are more than the sum of their tastes. Having a Taste In Music or a Taste In Literature is too often a substitute for personality.

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:39 (twenty years ago)

exactly

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:39 (twenty years ago)

are 'favourite books/films/TV/music' still a useful barometer of someone's personality? were they ever? my answers to such questions have always been crap/dissatisfying. i do think multiple choice style questions along the lines of 'rank these situations in order of funniness' would be a good one though.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:40 (twenty years ago)

side question: has dilettantism ever really been hott?

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:40 (twenty years ago)

my answers to such questions have always been crap/dissatisfying

no smug married jokes along the lines of 'that's because you have lousy taste' plz

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:44 (twenty years ago)

rather than a substitute for a personality, surely it is meant to be a shorthand, and of course your taste is PART of your personality - just a small part of it.

― Britain's Obtusest Shepherd (Alan), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:44 (twenty years ago)

God help me if I ever had to fill in one of those "favourite film/music/book" things on a site like that. Whatever the scale of hottness was, I think I'd be on the bottom. "seeks F into Jorge Luis Borges, Van Der Graaf Generator and Andrei Tarkovski". I wouldn't answer my own advert, that's for sure.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:55 (twenty years ago)

I am not suggesting that this is true for all people, by any means. But there are people for whom their taste is a substitute for personality. And a lot of them seem to end up on dating sites.

Anyway, I think I may start another thread about the sense of humour thing. Because it has become more and more of a worry that I've not got one.

The weird thing is that Joe, during one of the rare moments when he actually seemed to notice/tell me good things about me, told me that I was "really funny". I think he meant it as a compliment, but now I'm not so sure. Because I don't think of myself as having a sense of humour and that test seems to confirm it. (Sorry, this has also been raised by the "not liking the excelsior threads" thing.)

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:56 (twenty years ago)

x-post, natch.

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:57 (twenty years ago)

I wouldn't answer my own advert, that's for sure.

haha, i suppose that is the key thing. it's like 'would YOU date you?' and if the answer is no well then yes you're in a pickle.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Thursday, 10 November 2005 12:59 (twenty years ago)

Is it normal to date oneself?

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 10 November 2005 13:00 (twenty years ago)

Well, I can't STAND the excelsior threads, and of course I've got a sense of humour - I know LOADS of knock-knock jokes. Besides, lots of people use their sense of humour as a personality substitute.

I wouldn't date me - I wouldn't get enough attention.

― Come Back Johnny B (Johnney B), Thursday, 10 November 2005 13:01 (twenty years ago)

must STOP self... making obvious... filthy NO... "in a pickle" jokes... that may just... apply to stevem

...

i worry about me - i just had a flash of an uber-aesthete/rockist serial killer trawling the ads for people who's taste they loathed cos they found it easier to off them.

― Britain's Obtusest Shepherd (Alan), Thursday, 10 November 2005 13:01 (twenty years ago)

bitching about Excelsior/LOL quote thread just comes across as sour grapes that you're not on it as much as you'd like to be.

and i say that as someone who doesn't get on there much these days (oh the pain)

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Thursday, 10 November 2005 13:08 (twenty years ago)

Would I date me? Well, I don't know. Possibly. I would hang out with me, definintely. I suppose I need to tailor my ad things about that -would reading it make me want to contact/go out with me?

The kind of ads I like/would want to respond are people who just kind of stick out as being nonconventional, who actually talk about what they're like, rather than the usual blah blah this is my taste this is the cool stuff I've done.

x-post, no, it's not sour grapes. It's more that I'm GENUINELY perplexed by half that stuff that's on there. I read it, and I think "what's funny about that? I don't understand, I really don't."

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Thursday, 10 November 2005 13:10 (twenty years ago)

it may not be sour grapes but it comes across as just that, esp. when making this much of a fuss about it.

if someone were to explain why they thought it was funny, presumably you still wouldn't find it funny.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Thursday, 10 November 2005 13:19 (twenty years ago)

OK, either you can continue to misunderstand me, or you can go on the other thread and attempt to answer the question. It's up to you, but if it's the former I'm not interesting in carrying on this conversation.

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Thursday, 10 November 2005 13:22 (twenty years ago)

I was reading the NYRB personals just before I saw this thread! My favourite ever intellipersonal was in Private Eye a month or so ago, it was two paragraphs long and invited you to book an appointment to meet the poster's client, "a lady of immense taste and sophistication", I think it was for the Queen.

― Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Thursday, 10 November 2005 13:31 (twenty years ago)

I attended several proto-intellidating events hosted by JtN at the Poetry Cafe

Heh - I managed to get dumped at one of these! DAMN YOU, THE LUCKSMITHS

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 10 November 2005 13:32 (twenty years ago)

That's not intellidating. That's just Sinister.

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Thursday, 10 November 2005 13:33 (twenty years ago)

People should definitely go to these things, and Report Back, what's to lose?

Nabisco haha I am consciously putting off going to graduate school until/if I am single again!

― Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Thursday, 10 November 2005 13:38 (twenty years ago)

i will never understand this sort of response.

this was a valid point:
if someone were to explain why they thought it was funny, presumably you still wouldn't find it funny.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Thursday, 10 November 2005 13:52 (twenty years ago)

sometimes phrased as "honey, if you had to ask..."

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 10 November 2005 14:33 (twenty years ago)

intellidating sounds the most horrible thing ever!

it took me ages to figure out what LRB was!

most personal ads totally depress me

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Thursday, 10 November 2005 14:34 (twenty years ago)

Mandy OTM with that last sentance.

― Streatham's Paisley Princess (kate), Thursday, 10 November 2005 14:37 (twenty years ago)

I'm giving loveandfriends.com a whirl, got to be better than match.com.

― leigh (leigh), Thursday, 10 November 2005 15:53 (twenty years ago)

me too!

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 10 November 2005 16:02 (twenty years ago)

I wrote to someone on that site, but perhaps I shouldn't have sent them the link to my myspace profile, oh well! You never know.

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 10 November 2005 17:52 (twenty years ago)

how did the lucksmiths get markelby dumped?!

― john p. irrelevant (electricsound), Friday, 11 November 2005 02:24 (twenty years ago)

quite honesty, where do londoners intellidate?? it sounds interesting...

― nina, Friday, 11 November 2005 13:33 (twenty years ago)

he was chatting too loud and ruined the gig for his gf :(

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 11 November 2005 13:34 (twenty years ago)

xpost

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 11 November 2005 13:34 (twenty years ago)

It's like that bit in a Woody Allen film, can't remember which one, when he decides that he should start dating more intelligent women and he goes to an art gallery and starts chatting to this girl and eventually he says, "So what are you doing on Saturday night then?". And she says, "Committing suicide". And he says, "Well what about Friday then?".

― Oh No, It's Dadaismus (and His Endless Stupid Jokes) (Dada), Friday, 11 November 2005 13:55 (twenty years ago)

yeah i realised that actually, some people who loathe themselves date all the time. oh well.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Friday, 11 November 2005 14:02 (twenty years ago)

It wasn't the Lucksmiths' fault, but having been dumped minutes earlier yet still sitting next to said ex watching them WHILE said ex was lusting after the singer was a painful experience. So they are associated with DUMPAGE in my sad little brain.

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 11 November 2005 14:12 (twenty years ago)

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