complicated personal situtation

Seriously, unless her boyfriend holds all the power in the relationship and the negotiated non-monogamy is something he's foisting on her, I'd stay away. Anyone who's gung-ho about that sort of arrangement is going to cause you pain.

though, y'know, if everybody just followed this rule, the world might a nearly okay place to be.

-- Alba (albab...) (webmail), Today 8:46 AM. (Alba) (later
wtf?

Anthony, I think you need to be really sure how much you want more.

and she is in the middle of sorting out monogomy w. her bf...

and roommates as in, friends, it would be nice to have you round lots.

and not exactly multi/poly--queer is the word i use (and she is too--i mean thats a big part of this, she refuses to self-id irt sex, gender or oreintation--my assumed vulva would fit perfectly into her theoritical phallus--and already has.)

Then this has the potential to get really disgustingly horrible for you, especially with the boyfriend around. Does "non-monogomy" mean "we're free to fuck other people" or "I don't mind you getting intimately emotionally involved with someone else"? Because that's a massive grey area I wouldn't want to go near.

and id walk home alone
but my faith in love is still devout...

trainwreck ahoy?

Is the monogamy negotiation in her current rl'ship the beginning of the end for that though?

this was alot easier before judith butler and michel foucault wasnt it?

alot fucking easier before things like assuming the phallus and negoitoed non monogomy...

and when gender roles/sex roles were prescribed

Interestingly it *seems* to usually be a guy and 2 women, and sure Ive seen it implode nastily too, but it can work. A friend of mine in London has 2 partners; his wife (who he lives with) and his gf who lives nearby, and they're all cool with that.

Anthony, you like the complicated, potentially messy trainwrecks, right? I think you already know what you want to do.

Yet Aimless is right. (Martin is being overly-dramatic and a little weird.)

Beth is right too, but Anthony knows "Open-relationship=pain" and I think he is looking in a queer masocistic sort of way. Maybe the girl is too?

Mature is the wrong word. It takes maturity to be monogamous.

If you look at it from a biological or religious view these were prescribed at the first existence of humans. Only certain philosophy unprescribed them.

"In 1987, R.W. Connell did extensive research on whether there are any connections between biology and gender role and concluded that there were none. Most scientists reject Connell's research because concrete evidence exists proving the effect of hormones on behavior."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_roles#Criticism_of_biologism

Beth, excuse me for saying but you seem to be projecting or assuming a lot. Monogamy isn't the only way that people relate to each other, and there's certainly no reason to think it's the easiest or most natural option.

Exactly. From *my point of view* I would discourage it, but that's because I'm conservative, monogamous, jealous or whatever you wanna label it. :-) If the three people involved are open to this, then I'd say:"Go for it." Communication is key, but that's ALWAYS the case, also in monogamous relationships. Any type of relationship is hard to sustain in the long run.

Ain't no doubt about it
I can't wait to get home to you
(I gotta get home, yeah, uh, uh, come on.)
Connected with my baby
Just jammin online with you
(online, online, online)

Here in my room we are as one
(together you and me, together you and me)
Hours connect
As we switch on (switch on)

[Chorus]
She's my best kept secret
My internet girl (my internet girl)
She's my one and only
And I ain't tellin' the world (my internet girl)

She's my best kept secret
Hooked up all night with that girl
(my internet girl)
She's my one and only, my internet girl
(my internet girl)
My internet girl, my internet girl.

Shufflin' through my windows
Gotta find my way back to you
(I gotta find away, gotta find a way)
(I gotta find a way, gotta find a way)

You left me mail in the inbox
Thinkin' about what we should do
(I will type again girlfriend, so tell me, tell me what you wanna do)

You left me the password to your heart
(yeah, that's it. I got it.)
No lookin' back we clicked from the start
I wanna let you know
She's mine

[Chorus X2. fade]

How honest is this really?