Having friends

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recently I decided I am going to try and solidify the bonds of friendship with people I know, like co workers, and try to hang out with them outside of work. But it is a slow and arduous process, and i feel like I am coming on to them or something. "So...do you want to hang out sometime? " It feels kind of gay with the male co-workers amd kind of adulterous with the females. I guess the promise of alcohol during gatherings may encourage more playtime?

― Mike Hanle y 3000 (hanle y 3000), Saturday, 19 November 2005 04:41 (twenty years ago)

I guess the point I am trying to make is I am usually such an anti-social person that it is astrange and novel for me to try to enter the world of people who like to be social. any suggestions?

― Mike Hanle y 3000 (hanle y 3000), Saturday, 19 November 2005 05:51 (twenty years ago)

Give them money.

― M. V. (M.V.), Saturday, 19 November 2005 05:53 (twenty years ago)

Friend whores? Perhaps my overtures seem too synthetic. I am not used to this. Typically people ask me if I want to come to their party and I don't show up.

― Mike Hanle y 3000 (hanle y 3000), Saturday, 19 November 2005 05:53 (twenty years ago)

don't hang out with people from work.

― tehresa (tehresa), Saturday, 19 November 2005 05:55 (twenty years ago)

WHy shouldnt I hang out with people from work? Besides, where else am I going to meet people? I wish there was a matchmaker.com for people who are just looking for friends, but it seems so pathetic. I moved here 2 years ago so I dont have many connections from years past. I have lots of friends in Boston and Kansas City but I can't go bowling wiht them

― Mike Hanle y 3000 (hanle y 3000), Saturday, 19 November 2005 06:27 (twenty years ago)

There's absolutely nothing wrong with meeting people through your job.

Depending on what type of work it is, I guess you might want to go for a different strategy. It seems pretty fail-proof to ask them to go for some drinks after the job. There's nothing like bonding over alcohol and shit talking about the bosses! Until the bosses show up themselves, and then it's just sort of awkward.

But anyways, go for it.

― Mickey (modestmickey), Saturday, 19 November 2005 06:29 (twenty years ago)

i've just had bad luck with coworkers. probably because most of my coworkers are all idiotic drunks (not that i'm not an idiotic drunk at times) that hang out at townie sports bars (which i have no interest in) and can't hold an interesting conversation. plus, even when i've liked coworkers, i wouldn't want to spend all day at work AND my free time with them. you need some variety. maybe your coworkers are exceptionally cool, though. if that's the case, go for it, and have fun!

― tehresa (tehresa), Saturday, 19 November 2005 06:33 (twenty years ago)

My coworkers are pretty likeable. I work in a residential home so I usually amd with one shift partner for the whole shift and I only see the other workers at staff meetings.
Its just like, on days that I dont have to work my wife and I are often like "what should we do?" and I wish we had people we could dance with or go to the beach with.

― Mike Hanle y 3000 (hanle y 3000), Saturday, 19 November 2005 06:38 (twenty years ago)

tehresa, point well taken, but let me ask this -- wouldn't hanging out with coworkers be better than hanging out with nobody? Besides, coworkers can be the gateway to more friends. You can meet more people through them, or they might quit, in which case they become non-coworker friends.

― Mickey (modestmickey), Saturday, 19 November 2005 06:40 (twenty years ago)

possibly... i'm just one of those people who would rather hang out with nobody than people who annoy me or i find boring/intolerable. yes, i am a bitch.

― tehresa (tehresa), Saturday, 19 November 2005 06:43 (twenty years ago)

I'm lucky enough to work with people I really like. It makes the job worthwhile. I've never really hung out with people from my past jobs before.

― Mickey (modestmickey), Saturday, 19 November 2005 06:45 (twenty years ago)

People at the job I used to work at would have parties but I know they were the type of parties where you are out of your mind on pot and beer so I would not go.

― Mike Hanle y 3000 (hanle y 3000), Saturday, 19 November 2005 06:53 (twenty years ago)

Mike, there's nothing wrong with going to a party like that and having 1-3 beers so you aren't "out of your mind."

― Mickey (modestmickey), Saturday, 19 November 2005 06:56 (twenty years ago)

Well I supose so but if everyone is rolling on the floor and laughing about some inside joke that deals with camel toe it can be awkward. Still, I have been known to get shioiut-faced in younger days. But I am 30 years old! I cannot ingest alcohol at this age! Nor take in vapors from Mariwanna!

― Mike Hanle y 3000 (hanle y 3000), Saturday, 19 November 2005 08:49 (twenty years ago)

We've been bowling once. They wanted to do it again. Nothing happened. FIne by me. Then again I'm not on their *level*, so maybe that has something to do with it? I have never worked anywhere else so I don't know how hierarchy works. :-(

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Saturday, 19 November 2005 08:59 (twenty years ago)

I am usually afriad of my boss but at this job both my bosses are pretty cool and when I have had lunch with them it was a merry time. I hate when a major boss is around, like a CEO or upper-level management person. I always want them to go away ASAP. Like at office parties. It's no party if a big boss is there and you can't be yourself.

― Mike Hanle y 3000 (hanle y 3000), Saturday, 19 November 2005 09:04 (twenty years ago)

So you're telling me they don't want me at parties? :-( Not that we ever have parties...

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Saturday, 19 November 2005 09:08 (twenty years ago)

friendship with co-workers never work

UNLESS THEY ARE HOT AND YOU HAVE A CHANCE OF HAVING SEX WITH THEM then it will work until you get into their pants

― ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!, Saturday, 19 November 2005 09:19 (twenty years ago)

Are you an upper-level management person Nathalie? THen yes, they probably dont want you there. Sorry! Its nothing personal. Its like in HOgan's Heroes when SHucltz would come around: he was kind of a pal but in the end they couldnt tell him their secrets.

― Mike Hanle y 3000 (hanle y 3000), Saturday, 19 November 2005 09:29 (twenty years ago)

Upper-level management? I run the shop of my parents - they are in Japan. The other people are employees. So in a way I guess I'm higher up? So my husband keeps telling me. I don't really feel that way. Maybe I'm in denial. ;-)

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Saturday, 19 November 2005 09:33 (twenty years ago)

You are the CEO Nathalie. I'm sure you're a good person but if you have the power to fire people they will always feel somewhat down-at-heel of you. Of course, you could always just decide to be really nice to everyone. Thats probably the best way to lead anyways, just be friendly so people like you and they actually WANT to help you . And give frequent candy

― Mike Hanle y 3000 (hanle y 3000), Saturday, 19 November 2005 09:42 (twenty years ago)

It totally depends on the type of work environment it is.

At my job, almost all the managers are having sex with at least one employee. One guy had sex with 4. So, it's not really that awkward. I just hate this one guy, so it's weird for me when he shows up, but the others are fine.

― Mickey (modestmickey), Saturday, 19 November 2005 16:48 (twenty years ago)

Who knew that you worked for Hustler?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 19 November 2005 16:55 (twenty years ago)

Restaurants are all about that. I'm one of the few people there who hasn't actually hooked up with another employee yet. I've tried, but it hasn't happened yet. :(

― Mickey (modestmickey), Saturday, 19 November 2005 17:03 (twenty years ago)

none of the guys at my restaurant spoke english. :-(

― mimi in st. louis (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 19 November 2005 17:36 (twenty years ago)

You require english speaking for sex to happen?

― Mike Hanle y 3000 (hanle y 3000), Sunday, 20 November 2005 05:08 (twenty years ago)

friendship with co-workers never work

UNLESS THEY ARE HOT AND YOU HAVE A CHANCE OF HAVING SEX WITH THEM then it will work until you get into their pants

then it sucks a lot til one of you leaves/gets fired

― tres letraj (tehresa), Sunday, 20 November 2005 05:14 (twenty years ago)

You require english speaking for sex to happen?

well, speaking of any kind...

― mimi in st. louis (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 20 November 2005 05:22 (twenty years ago)

i only need body language - the language of lovvvvve

― tres letraj (tehresa), Sunday, 20 November 2005 05:23 (twenty years ago)

Why not use the universal laguage as a means of aquiring a sex moment. The universal language of COBOL.

― Mike Hanle y 3000 (hanle y 3000), Sunday, 20 November 2005 05:25 (twenty years ago)

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