DAEREST BRITISHES VOLUEM TOO

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Why dont you fat, ugly, stupid drunks eat a salad some time and maybe get some sun?

― bato (bato), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 00:36 (twenty years ago)

Glasgow isn't in Britain?

― Yawn (Wintermute), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 00:41 (twenty years ago)

"he's right! yeah! give us hell Quimby!"

― Sororah T Massacre (blueski), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 00:45 (twenty years ago)

haha so probably not alex t then.

― Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 00:56 (twenty years ago)

Bichaelangelo Bato

― Lars and Jagger (Ex Leon), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 01:02 (twenty years ago)

where did you guys hide adamrl?

― caitlin oh no (caitxa1), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 02:02 (twenty years ago)

^ OTM ^

― Occam's Reznor (ex machina), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 16:45 (twenty years ago)

Glasgow isn't in Britain?

Where is it then?

― Oh No, It's Dadaismus (and His Endless Stupid Jokes) (Dada), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 17:03 (twenty years ago)

Wales

― Raw Patrick (Raw Patrick), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 19:05 (twenty years ago)

Dadaismus, that was a question, not a statement. I think Yawn meant it as in "What, you mean Glasgow isn't in Britain?" - it was questioning the poster, you know, in a joking manner, since it was believed briefly that bato was in fact regular Glasgow poster AlexT, who isn't very likely to be slagging the British when he himself lives there.

Explaining jokes - C/D?

― ailsa (ailsa), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 19:10 (twenty years ago)

Classic if you're me. (I lie.)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 19:11 (twenty years ago)

And, anyway, Glasgow is in Kentucky.

― ailsa (ailsa), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 19:14 (twenty years ago)

four months pass...

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2-2142179,00.html

― JW (ex machina), Thursday, 20 April 2006 19:56 (nineteen years ago)

ok so taxi drivers are using this sat nav stuff increasingly now, im pretty amazed at how reliant they are, and how clueless they are. i got back one from work the other week, and i said, holloway rd, and the guy asks me what number(?). i mean, i dont live on holloway rd itself, but i didnt want to go through the palava of explaining that, so i said 580, thinking thats near enough where my side street comes off, and he enters it into the machine

so eventually, we turn onto holloway road, and the sat nav thing says "in 300 yards you will have reached your destination"

i say, keep going another half mile or so, its not yet

he continues to slow down

i say, take a left after that pub, pointing, to the pub

he brings the car to a halt

"you have reached your destination" says the machine

"its not here, its in about another 300 yards, then a left", i tell him

he looks at me, stunned

"i dont live here! keep going!"

he looks increduluous, but slowly starts the car up again, he doesnt know whats happening now, he doenst know what to do. we carry on another few 100 yards, i tell him to take a left, which he does. hes looking worried now, another 50 yards down my street, and i tell him to stop

he looks at me, confused. i give him the money, get out the car, and walk to my door. as i enter my house, i turn around. he is looking at me, still increduluous. it is almost as if he is saying "you dont live here, the machine said so".

i hate these things, they tell taxi drivers to take longer more irritating routes as well

― charltonlido (gareth), Thursday, 20 April 2006 20:35 (nineteen years ago)

Crackpot in North Yorkshire.

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Thursday, 20 April 2006 21:58 (nineteen years ago)

I quite like the idea of the water rising around Tabitha and Jemima while the satellite navigation system just goes "ha ha ha ha ha. Loser".

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 20 April 2006 22:05 (nineteen years ago)

Heh. I am amazed anyone would truly be daft enough to say "but the satnav told me it was this way" and drive thru a waterway that is obv to flooded to use :/

I never give taxi drivers an address. I say "go down X Rd and turn left at Blah st", and when we get that far I just say "left... now right here... ok here's fine". I ususuall stop across the rd and up a bit from my actual house. I dont know why but I dont like the idea of tacksi drivers knowing which flat I'm going into.

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 20 April 2006 22:50 (nineteen years ago)

two months pass...

DAEREST BRITONAISE,

I HAVE INSOMNIA AND AM GOING TO WORK EXTRA EARLY TO HARASS YOU ALL WORK DAY

GOOD LUCK U FOCKERS

― Machibuse '80 (ex machina), Monday, 17 July 2006 09:18 (nineteen years ago)

― Roughage Crew (Enrique), Monday, 17 July 2006 09:31 (nineteen years ago)

THERES OTHER THAN BRITISES AWAEK TOO JANKEY!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 17 July 2006 09:40 (nineteen years ago)

― permanent revolution (cis), Monday, 17 July 2006 10:32 (nineteen years ago)

WHATEVER FAEK TOUMASSS

― Machibuse '80 (ex machina), Monday, 17 July 2006 10:51 (nineteen years ago)

jon will be asleep by the time you finnish work, tuomas.

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 17 July 2006 10:58 (nineteen years ago)

no way dddddddude, i am totally getting more ccccccoffee!

― Machibuse '80 (ex machina), Monday, 17 July 2006 11:13 (nineteen years ago)

HELLO BITCHES

― Machibuse '80 (ex machina), Monday, 17 July 2006 12:09 (nineteen years ago)

way to harass so far.

― Roughage Crew (Enrique), Monday, 17 July 2006 12:14 (nineteen years ago)

man i don't think i can take much more of this harassment.

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Monday, 17 July 2006 12:20 (nineteen years ago)

TOO TIRED

― Machibuse '80 (ex machina), Monday, 17 July 2006 12:24 (nineteen years ago)

;_;

― Roughage Crew (Enrique), Monday, 17 July 2006 12:32 (nineteen years ago)

[napster ) you know what kid
[napster ) i rarely get angry
[Hax0rWang ) hEY
[Hax0rWang ) iM 13
[Hax0rWang ) DOnT cALl mE kID
[Hax0rWang ) YouU olD FaRT
[Hax0rWang ) i GOt a BLue b0WkZ
[napster ) you're a waste of bandwith
[Hax0rWang ) anD wilL j0SE iT
[Hax0rWang ) SpReaD j0r buTTcheEkZ
[Hax0rWang ) aND pRepaRE foR packeTz
[napster ) oh boy
[napster ) a monkey
[napster ) is this what i'm dealing with?
[napster ) eventually you'll learn
[Hax0rWang ) yOU WiLL leaRN
[napster ) or perhaps find something better to do
[Hax0rWang ) THE aRT oF thE haXOR
[Hax0rWang ) THaT pHEaR
[Hax0rWang ) iS j00R wEAkenZZ
[Hax0rWang ) aND hAxoR broZ
[Hax0rWang ) haVE The pHEaR naTION
[napster ) wrong
[napster ) i know people with more eliteness than you could even comprehend

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Monday, 17 July 2006 12:35 (nineteen years ago)

[Hax0rWang ) yOU WiLL leaRN
[Hax0rWang ) THE aRT oF thE haXOR
[Hax0rWang ) THaT pHEaR
[Hax0rWang ) iS j00R wEAkenZZ

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Monday, 17 July 2006 12:36 (nineteen years ago)

one year passes...

sometimes the truth hurts

― That one guy that hit it and quit it, Friday, 12 October 2007 08:20 (eighteen years ago)

bato was a master.

― Frogman Henry, Friday, 12 October 2007 08:37 (eighteen years ago)

Bato was a creep.

― Pashmina, Friday, 12 October 2007 08:46 (eighteen years ago)

Batolicious

― Dom Passantino, Friday, 12 October 2007 09:00 (eighteen years ago)

why did he never post here as tuomas_tumour i wonder

― electricsound, Friday, 12 October 2007 09:08 (eighteen years ago)

thread needs more anecdotes like that gareth taxi one

― blueski, Friday, 12 October 2007 10:28 (eighteen years ago)

Why dont you fat, ugly, stupid drunks eat a salad some time and maybe get some sun?

-- bato (bato), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 00:36 (1 year ago) Bookmark Link
Glasgow isn't in Britain?

-- Yawn (Wintermute), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 00:41 (1 year ago) Bookmark Link

Heh, Glasgow has more tanning salons per head of population than any other city in the UK. We don't need no sun.

― Madchen, Friday, 12 October 2007 11:01 (eighteen years ago)

IIRC, Glasgow was, co-incidentally, where Bato was posting from!

― Pashmina, Friday, 12 October 2007 11:11 (eighteen years ago)

Heh, Glasgow has more tanning salons per head of population than any other city in the UK. We don't need no sun

Fronts for money-laudering tho, shurely?

― Tom D., Friday, 12 October 2007 11:15 (eighteen years ago)

http://bp1.blogger.com/_-dk1axrNmqU/Rw6VVFk9VyI/AAAAAAAABO4/_RjyixmwQJw/s400/office.jpg

― tissp, Friday, 12 October 2007 11:31 (eighteen years ago)

a likely storey

― blueski, Friday, 12 October 2007 11:50 (eighteen years ago)

Heh, Glasgow has more tanning salons per head of population than any other city in the UK. We don't need no sun.

Last I read Paisley had taken that dubious honour and now has close to twice as many sunbeds per person than Glasgow.

― onimo, Friday, 12 October 2007 11:56 (eighteen years ago)

Not that it matters, basically everyone in West of Scotland is either burnt orange or pale blue.

― onimo, Friday, 12 October 2007 11:58 (eighteen years ago)

The Orange Walk takes on a whole new meaning

― Tom D., Friday, 12 October 2007 12:04 (eighteen years ago)

three months pass...

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/26/world/europe/26motto.html?_r=1&em&ex=1201582800&en=b9d2d8810797eec5&ei=5087%0A&oref=slogin

― That one guy that hit it and quit it, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 18:03 (eighteen years ago)

dave q RIP

― DG, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 18:52 (eighteen years ago)

THaT pHEaR iS j00R wEAkenZZ

― gff, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 18:55 (eighteen years ago)

four months pass...

http://lifeandhealth.guardian.co.uk/women/story/0,,2283624,00.html

^^ remarkable article.

britishes guys have hang-ups about shagging someone who... writes in great detail about her sex-life. the swine. it's like the goddamn 19th century here, honestly.

i bet dorothy parker wished she'd thought of the "sex-bloggers' monthly at-home" first: it will surely eclipse anything she ever achieved.

― banriquit, Sunday, 8 June 2008 12:02 (seventeen years ago)

been waiting since 8am for that to show up on here

― DG, Sunday, 8 June 2008 12:04 (seventeen years ago)

"Girl with a one track mind" morelike "Girl with an Albert Steptoe face", amirite?

― The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics, Sunday, 8 June 2008 12:06 (seventeen years ago)

Little did I know that, a couple of years down the line, all my lovers, exes, friends, neighbours, colleagues and family would be reading the blog too.

erm, as it was all for a dare...

― Just got offed, Sunday, 8 June 2008 12:07 (seventeen years ago)

morelike girl with total lack of self-awareness.

― banriquit, Sunday, 8 June 2008 12:08 (seventeen years ago)

i hope they do a law & order episode about her when she moves there

― DG, Sunday, 8 June 2008 12:09 (seventeen years ago)

eventually I ended up bedding a series of Z-list (OK, perhaps M-list) celebrities who approached me through the blog and who I knew wouldn't spill the beans, due to our shared desire for privacy. Hotels were obtained, condoms procured, and an author, a rock star and a TV personality were all ticked off my nonexistent list

delete blogging

― Just got offed, Sunday, 8 June 2008 12:10 (seventeen years ago)

Yo Suzy, can't you become radicalised by Islam and suicide bomb these cunts when you meet them at literary launch parties?

― The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics, Sunday, 8 June 2008 12:11 (seventeen years ago)

i always 'obtain' a hotel before shagging an author.

― banriquit, Sunday, 8 June 2008 12:12 (seventeen years ago)

prophylactics were manifested

― Just got offed, Sunday, 8 June 2008 12:13 (seventeen years ago)

REAL TALK: I'm beginning to think the world is ready for the blog where I talk about whatever doped-up-on-Paxil fat chick I'm schtupping that week

― The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics, Sunday, 8 June 2008 12:14 (seventeen years ago)

Zinger with a one track mind

― The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics, Sunday, 8 June 2008 12:15 (seventeen years ago)

...

― banriquit, Sunday, 8 June 2008 12:15 (seventeen years ago)

it's kind of funny that her generalizations about british men's reactions struck me as something to be expected in the us too...but it turned out she wasn't comparing to the us. just new york, where "everyone is a sex columnist," unlike anywhere i've ever lived.

on an unrelated note, speaking of britishes, i am going to england for ten days in a week! yay!

(xpost)

― Maria, Sunday, 8 June 2008 12:15 (seventeen years ago)

bring salad

― banriquit, Sunday, 8 June 2008 12:16 (seventeen years ago)

And Mountain Dew, shit is ridic expensive over here

― The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics, Sunday, 8 June 2008 12:16 (seventeen years ago)

haha, i'm in denmark right now. TRY ME.

― Maria, Sunday, 8 June 2008 12:22 (seventeen years ago)

'I feel weird being in bed with the Girl with a One Track Mind,' one English guy said to me, as we lay side by side, not touching

Who'd have thought - me! In bed with a blogger! Amazing!

wtf

― DavidM, Sunday, 8 June 2008 12:27 (seventeen years ago)

I thought the same thing when I was fucking the dude from Said The Gramaphone, tbh.

― The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics, Sunday, 8 June 2008 12:28 (seventeen years ago)

she looks like alanis morrissette. that's probably why she's having trouble getting shagged now

― Rubyredd, Sunday, 8 June 2008 12:29 (seventeen years ago)

why the long face?

― DG, Sunday, 8 June 2008 12:30 (seventeen years ago)

hortence the mule-faced girl.

― Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved, Sunday, 8 June 2008 14:38 (seventeen years ago)

"the advantage of a London accent"

― admrl, Sunday, 8 June 2008 18:40 (seventeen years ago)

it's got me where i am today

― DG, Sunday, 8 June 2008 18:48 (seventeen years ago)

^got more rabbit than Sainsbury's

― The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics, Sunday, 8 June 2008 18:53 (seventeen years ago)

i obtain much hotel one

― Curt1s Stephens, Sunday, 8 June 2008 18:55 (seventeen years ago)

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