"Vatican rejects sexually active gay priests"

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Okay this headline is baffling to me?!?! Doesn't the Vatican reject sexually active straight priests too (insert pedo joke here)?

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20051122/ap_on_re_eu/vatican_gays_5;_ylt=AtxNC7hW3ogjAYdA9wBrhfPkeO0A;_ylu=X3oDMTBiMW04NW9mBHNlYwMlJVRPUCUl

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 21:48 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, the whole "vow of celibacy" thing kind of makes this a non-story.

― Dan (So I Won't Bother Reading It, Ha) Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 21:52 (twenty years ago)

Okay, I lied and went and read it:

Vatican teaching also holds that homosexuals are "intrinsically disordered." The church, however, says gays and lesbians should be treated with compassion and dignity.

― Dan (ROFFLE) Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 21:55 (twenty years ago)

Haha well there is some hilarity in the article. For example:

"If instead it is a case of homosexual tendencies that are merely the expression of a transitory problem, for example as in the case of an unfinished adolescence, they must however have been clearly overcome for at least three years before ordination as a deacon."

I want to see how they test this! I imagine priests stripping men naked and then showing them naked pictures of Brad Pitt and then checking for signs of arousal!

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 21:55 (twenty years ago)

"This one's got a boner! See ya in another three years. Sucka!"

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 21:57 (twenty years ago)

All the Bible said was men shall not lay down with men. It doesn't say anything about fucking men up the ass or any kind of 'jobs.

― Biblical Scholar, Tuesday, 22 November 2005 22:01 (twenty years ago)

they are also banning people who are sympathetic to straight causes (breeders and fags). its a pulling thru the reigns...

― anthony easton (anthony), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 22:04 (twenty years ago)

"if you must have sex, make sure you use protection: tell him he'll go to hell if he tells his parents."

― THIS IS THE SOUND OF ALTERN 8 !!! (noodle vague), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 23:12 (twenty years ago)

"I want to see how they test this! I imagine priests stripping men naked and then showing them naked pictures of Brad Pitt and then checking for signs of arousal!"

Seeing as Brad Pitt seems to be the one man that all straight men want to sleep with, this seems like a cruel and unusual test.

(actually most of the gay guys I know agree that Brad Pitt is curiously overrated by the straight male world)

― Tim Finney (Tim Finney), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 00:23 (twenty years ago)

Haha actually Brad Pitt is curiously overrated by the STRAIGHT female world and straight men just assume (wrongly apparently) that he must also be so by the gay male world. I was at a loss for hot sex symbol though and his name was right on Yahoo!'s front page so please forgive any accidental affront.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 00:26 (twenty years ago)

No, Alex, it's more than that! Every time some straight male is asked which other guy he'd have sex with (or some variant of that question) he always says Brad Pitt! I feel sorry for the guy, he must feel constantly on edge.

It's like how so many female celebrities talk about having a crush on k. d. lang.

― Tim Finney (Tim Finney), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 00:31 (twenty years ago)

Tim is OTM here, I actually know only one woman in my whole life who really had much of a thing for Brad Pitt btw. He seems solely the realm of straight men.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 00:32 (twenty years ago)

The cover of People magazine sez otherwise folks. But I won't argue that a curious number of straight famous guys seem to be into him (I remember some talk about this a while back.)

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 00:36 (twenty years ago)

I am liking the idea of showing priests naked pictures of Brad Pitt to TEST to see if they are heterosexual even more now. It's a catch-22!

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 00:42 (twenty years ago)

He wins teh polls because of secret male voting quotient.

― Tim Finney (Tim Finney), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 00:46 (twenty years ago)

It's probably straight catholic priests voting!

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 00:49 (twenty years ago)

"Vatican rejects sexually inactive straight priests fetishizing Brad Pitt"

― Tim Finney (Tim Finney), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 00:58 (twenty years ago)

Is there a more persecuted group out there!?!?! WHERE IS THEIR PFSISPFBP (just rolls off the tongue!)?

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 01:01 (twenty years ago)

Jason Lewis is the new Brad Bitt. Or maybe them gay cowboys.

Anyway, I don't want to sound like I'm supporting the Vatican or anything here, but I also reject sexually active gay priests as a matter of policy. Politely, but still...

― rogermexico (rogermexico), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 01:03 (twenty years ago)

brad pitt should be hotter and faggier then he actually is.

― anthony easton (anthony), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 01:13 (twenty years ago)

I agree Anthony, but I think we often have similar tastes in men. You like wossisname from Desperate Housewives don't you? And the Fantastic Four fire guy.

― Tim Finney (Tim Finney), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 01:30 (twenty years ago)

It seems to me that if you've never acted on your impulses, gay or straight, that you don't really have a sexuality per se. If you're a priest and you're boning men/women, then you should be defrocked.

But I do find it abhorrent that Pope Palpatine I is actually sending Sith minions into seminaries to uncover sodomites.

― Alfred Soto (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 02:08 (twenty years ago)

The other 'arf prefers Johnny Depp, I gather. (Yes the other 'arf is a man). I prefer Depp too; can't see the appeal of Mr. Pitt.

If the Catholic Church is full of gay-persecuting Sith, does this make Sir Ian McKellan a top-banana Jedi?

― Zora (Zora), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 13:57 (twenty years ago)

I'd be uncovered if it was a photo of Dirty & Sweaty Fight Club Brad. As would many priests, I bet.

I sometimes go to a gay church (no joke), and a priest once sang most of a Sondheim tune during a sermon. Another one, referring to Mathew Shepard, rhetorically asked "Why not me, Lord?" and an acidic friend sitting next to me hissed "Not cute enough." I stuffed my fists on my mouth to keep from laughing.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 16:23 (twenty years ago)

Brad Pitt? Any fule kno that it is JOHNNY DEPP teh straight boyz want to spoon with.

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 16:24 (twenty years ago)

if you've never acted on your impulses, gay or straight, that you don't really have a sexuality per se.

No way! It just means you've never been crushed.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 16:26 (twenty years ago)

I actually know only one woman in my whole life who really had much of a thing for Brad Pitt btw. He seems solely the realm of straight men.

Yeah, I don't really get the appeal of Brad Pitt, but then I don't like blondes.

― Lars and Jagger (Ex Leon), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 16:29 (twenty years ago)

No, Alex, it's more than that! Every time some straight male is asked which other guy he'd have sex with (or some variant of that question) he always says Brad Pitt! I feel sorry for the guy, he must feel constantly on edge.

It sounds pretty good to me.

― hobart paving (hobart paving), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 16:36 (twenty years ago)

"Sexually active gay priests already so over Vatican"

― teeny (teeny), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 20:34 (twenty years ago)

http://zelos.zeit.de/bilder/2005/47/aktuell_online/tagesbilder/schweizergarde_400.jpg

― Jena (JenaP), Thursday, 24 November 2005 04:10 (twenty years ago)

i think all sexuality is transient, i think that this destroys any support for queer work in the catholic church, and it guts me...

― anthony easton (anthony), Thursday, 24 November 2005 05:38 (twenty years ago)

Every time some straight male is asked which other guy he'd have sex with (or some variant of that question) he always says Brad Pitt! I feel sorry for the guy, he must feel constantly on edge.

Knowing that thousands (millions?) of men are saving their exclusive gaysex for you sounds bad but someone told me once that people just like to say Pitt because it shows a lack of interest in the question. It sounds less gay than actually having a well-thought and personal answer...like Matthew Perry or Elijah Wood. I buy that.

― Cunga (Cunga), Thursday, 24 November 2005 08:01 (twenty years ago)

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